I woke up slowly to this gloomy day and I felt drained. For the past week, I couldn't sleep, or eat. Last night was worse. I could rest last night because Christian talked to me over the phone.
The day I dreaded finally arrived. The day my life began to shatter. The day a piece of me was removed from my life. Today, marks the 3rd year anniversary of Lucy's death.
I sighed and slowly got off my bed and started for the bathroom. I didn't let the shower water get warm before I hopped in. After, I dressed in a black ankle length gown, black pumps and I left my hair to air dry.
I left my room and went downstairs, but both the living room and kitchen were empty. I went back upstairs to Lucy's room to see my mom sleeping on her bed with bottles of alcohol scattered everywhere. I gently closed the door and climbed back downstairs to make myself coffee.
Before I could take a sip from the cup, there was a knock on the door. I dropped my coffee to go open the door. Before I could open it. Trish rushed in and hugged me while crying hysterically.
"Good morning to you too Trish. One would think it's your sister's memorial not mine." I joked.
"Ash, this is not the time for that!" She pulled away. "How are you holding up?" She asks looking concerned but still crying.
"Fairly enough." I lied.
"Oh.Where are your parents?" She asks walking towards the kitchen.
"My dad is probably buried in work and my mom is in Lucy's room."
"The usual?" She asks worried
"Yeah."
"Hey panda." I turned to look at Christian and moved to hug him. "You lied?" He asked referring to earlier.
"Yeah. I'm pretty much fucked up."I say my voice cracking.
"Don't worry I'm here." He reassures me. I look him in the eyes and suddenly had this urge to kiss him.
"Ashley, can you come here for a sec?" Trish called for me from the kitchen stopping me from acting on my thoughts.
"Yeah sure. Excuse me." I walked into the kitchen to see she had made a plate of sandwich.
"Here." She shifted the plate to me and before I could say anything, she spoke up. "I'm pretty sure you haven't eaten since God knows when and I don't want to see my best friend collapse. So just please eat this one for me?" She looks at me with pleading eyes so I just gave in and nodded.
"Thanks." She smiles as she gives me a glass of OJ.
"Mom just called and she said she and dad will drop by later." Christian announces walking into the kitchen.
"They don't have to bother-" I started to protest but Christian cut me off.
"It's nothing."
"When are you going to visit her?" Christian took a seat beside me as he asked.
"Pretty much right now." I answered pushing the half eaten sandwich away from me.
"C'mon let's go." Christian pulled me up with him and walked me out to Trish's car. I looked at him in confusion.
"Caleb wrecked his car 3 days ago so now it's in the repair shop. And now he's using my car because my boyfriend wrecked his." Trish spoke as she got into the back seat.
"And he's paying for it." Christian added with a smile. He opened my side door for me and got into his.
"Hey! How come you don't open my side door for me and you do for her!" Trish whined.
"Well, because she's special," he looked at me with a smile "and you are not." He looked at her sternly before he starts to drive and I blushed while Trish just rolled her eyes
"Flowers?" He asks me and I nod. "To the flower shop then."
"There's one beside the central grave yard." I tell him.
"Okay then."
The air was chilly, the silence was eerie. The deaths were crying and I could feel myself slowly panicking as I looked down at Lucy's gravestone holding her favorite lily flowers.
"Hey Lu. It's me again." A strong cold wind passes through me like Lucy was actually responding that I made my legs go weak and I start to sob. "I'm really tired of staying alive here. Would you mind getting a space for me up there? I really want..... I really need to see you again." I cried so hard that I stopped, then started all over again. I talked to Lucy more and didn't leave her side until Christian came to get me.
"Hey panda. it's time to go. it's getting late."
What?
I look around to see it was actually getting late.
"What time is it?" I ask him
"6:47"
What?
"I've been here for that long?" I ask shocked.
"Yeah. Now c'mon let's go grab dinner." He says as he pulls me up and I see Trish behind him looking at Lucy's grave.
"Wanna say a few words?" I ask her and she looks at me with wide eyes.
"Can I?" She sounded unsure.
"Sure you can."
"Thanks." She steps forward and I step back to give her space.
"Um hey Lucy. Ummmmm.... I don't think you ummmm..... remember me.... but um...."
"Why don't we wait in the car?" I whisper to Christian. "Looks like she has a lot to say." I say looking over to Christian.
"Yeah sure c'mon." He takes my hand and leads me to the car.
"Um. Thanks for today Christian. I really appreciate it." I say as we have settled in the car waiting for Trish.
"Sure no problem. So what about what I told you the other night? You thought about it?"
"Sorry I'm kinda confused here."
"Oh I meant talking with your mom."
"Oh. That."
"Yeah that. So?"
"No. I'm currently not on talking terms with my parents right now but soon."
"No problem then." He says tapping his fingers on the steering wheel.
"Thanks again Christian. For everything." He looks at me with a big smile.
"No p. What am I here for if not being there for you?" He asks jokingly and I smile.
"You are truly a great friend." He suddenly stops tapping his fingers and his smile changes to a frown.
"Friend?"
"Yeah or more like a brother?" I ask and he scoffs.
"So you see me as a friend and brother. Nothing else?"
"Erm no?"
"Then looks like I have to up my game then." He says and began to tap his fingers once more.
I was about to question his statement when the back door opened and Trish climbs in.
"Sorry guys." She sniffs
"No problem." I reply.
"So where do you want to go for dinner panda?" Christian asks me and I look at Trish through the rear view mirror to see her sobbing quietly.
"How about we let Trish choose?" I turn to face Trish with a smile on my face wondering what kind of relationship she had with my sister.