Suicide warning.
Everything that happened, everything I did, I know I can't undo. There is no way to fix this. When the Demon first spoke with me, I thought they would help me. Not take me over and do so many things that I didn't want.
I lost the one I loved, lost her forever it seems. There's no way to fix that. But there is one thing I can fix.
I can get rid of the Demon who called himself the Devil in one way only. During one of the many times where my consciousness was locked away in the back of my mind, I began thinking of the times when I saw Nimi while I was in control. After He took me over, those times where few.
I saw Nimi smiling as she made a flower crown, sitting on a fallen tree in the forest I had found that was filled with so many flowers, I saw her beautiful smile and her pretty eyes on the day I met her. I heard her laugh and saw her angelic wings turning black from killing the murderer of her sister. I watched the times when she was worried, when she was angry, sad, I saw all her emotions that she shared with me and all the times we were together. When I finally was able to be in control once more I sent out my mental message to her, the one that would be my last.
~I am sorry. I hope that, in death, I'll finally deserve your forgiveness. Goodbye my Angel.~
Before she could respond, I walked into the armory. I grabbed the fiery dagger Nimi had named Retribution and took a deep breath before plunging it into my chest. ~Goodbye.~ I repeated in my last moment.
It seemed as if I was floating in an abyss once more. I was once again in the afterlife.
~Hello once more Min Name. Do you remember me?~ I appeared in a temple of sorts with a massive being sitting in a throne.
I kneeled and bowed my head. ~Yes. Hello Godfather.~
~I'm glad you remember me. Do you want to go back?~
~What?~ If I had a real body, my eyes would have gone wide in shock. ~But I-~
~You did what you thought was right at the time. And, in your death, you rid your love's world of the Demon who possessed you. Not only that, but you regretted your choice and hated every second that he was in control. I'd say that's a good thing. You can see your Soul right now correct?~
I looked down after a pause and saw my Soul's aura was not actually black like I had thought it would be. Instead, it was the glowing light it was only once, the very first time I was here. ~It's- It's pure.~ I stammered. ~B-But how? I accepted a contract with a Demon. How can I still be pure?~
~I said already.~ Estin's inner voice sounded amused. ~You hated every second of your time with the Demon. You wanted to fix everything that happened. That proves your soul is a pure one. Now, I'll ask once more. Do you or do you not want to go back?~
~I do! Please let me return!~
~I thought as much. Min, you found the one you wanted in your life, your true mate. Who wouldn't want to go back and be with them?~
~But wait. She- She hates me now. I-I locked her up and she- she has to hate me! There's no way Nimi won't hate me!~
~Well, why don't you fix that? I will give your body a clean slate, however, you have to deal with being a vampire-~
~I'll deal with anything. Just- Just let me go back to her. And can I keep every one of the scars I got while protecting her?~
~You may, if that's truly what you want.~
~It is.~ The God nodded and snapped the fingers of one massive hand and, in that moment, I reappeared in the hideout where I had stayed when under control by the Demon,
~-in? MIN! What's happening? What'd you do? Are you alive? Please answer!~
~N-Nimi? You- You actually care?~
~I love you you idiot. Of course I'd care. What did you mean when you said death?~
I burst out laughing, causing the servants to stop what they were doing and stare. ~I killed myself.~
~But- What?~
~I was killing myself and the Demon who had possessed me. Do you remember Retribution?~
~Yeah. I knew I forgot something.~
~Yes. Well, it appears that the dagger you so lovingly named is a Demon-Slaying Blade.~
~Oh. So you killed the Demon and yourself...?~
~Yes.~
~Then how...?~ I could hear the confusion in her voice.
~My Godfather allowed me to come back.~
~So everything you did-~
~Was actually the Demon.~
~How long?~
~Since the time we were ambushed and you had to do everything to save us.~
~Why?~
~I wanted to keep you safe. Keep your body unscarred for as long as I could.~
~Well, it's a tad late for that.~ I could her the cynical tone in her inner voice.
~Yeah...~
~Where are you then?~
~At the hideout you found me at.~
~I'm back at my castle. Come alone and unarmed.~
~Yes m'Lady.~ I gave her one of the courtly bows she so enjoys, even though I knew she couldn't see me, from the giggle I heard I knew she had guessed I had done so.
~I will see you there.~
~See you later.~ I smiled and the servants continued to stare. "You are all dismissed. Permanently. Tell everyone else here the same thing."
"Thank you my Lord!" One said and the others nodded in agreement.
"Just go. Take whatever you want from here, I won't be needing it anymore."
"Thank you!" They all spoke to each other, already making plans. I left and spread my wings, noticing that they changed. Before my second death, they were Demon wings. Now, however, they were those of a true Fallen. One white, the other black. Both feathered like that of an Angel's. I shoved my hands into my pockets and flew all the way to what was once mine and Nimi's castle. I pulled my hands out as I flew down to the ground. I landed heavily with a sigh, noticing she wasn't there. I walked up to the drawbridge and stood there. It slowly creaked down and there stood a pair of knights. I nodded to them and they walked up to me.
"Who are you?" The taller spoke first.
"I am called Min Name. I am here to talk to the Queen."
"Queen? We don't have a Queen."
"This place did, once."
"Wait! Did you say Min Name?" The shorter guard asked.
"Yes...?" The knight ripped off his helmet with a grin.
"Do you remember me? C'mon Chief!"
"Freirry? Is that you?"
"The one and only! I heard you died. I heard Lady Nimi's cry of anguish and her calling your name. I was sentried outside her door so I went in and she said you died."
"Well.. I'm not."
"She also said she was expecting you not long afterwards. It confused the hell out of me but now I understand somewhat. You're not really dead."
"Right." I nodded.
"I'll take you to her."
"Thanks Freirry."
"Anytime Chief." The Dragon took me to Nimi's room, the massive suite that she, jokingly had claimed at the very beginning, when we first took over the castle. I had just grinned and let her take it. The suite itself had six rooms and one was a bedroom. One entire room was a closet and another just a sitting room. One was a bathroom and another was simply another war planning room. The very last was a smaller room, smaller than the massive closet and that was where I had stayed. She had said I could stay there since she didn't need so many rooms.
"Thanks for bringing him Freirry."
"Anytime Lady Nimi."
After he left, Nimi turned to me with a pointed glare. "Prove you have no weapons."
I raised a single, scarred, eyebrow and obliged, taking off my coat. I saw her mutter the spell for blocking magic and smiled. I slipped my shirt over my head and heard her gasp.
"H-How many scars do you have?"
"A lot less."
"What?" I pointed at my left eye, the one she had messed up.
"It's fixed now. And many others you gave me were healed. But, I got many scars keeping you safe from the Demon who controlled me. Physically injuring myself appeared to be the only way to keep him away."
"I-I'm sorry."
"Do I need to remove the rest of my clothes? Or is this enough?"
"Well, those pants are tight enough to prove you aren't hiding weapons there. Take off your shoes." I did so and she nodded. "Feel free to dress yourself again."
"Nah. This is more comfortable." I started walking away, a smirk on my face at the blush creeping across hers. I walked to my room and tried to summon my carving knife. I cursed and then laughed when I remembered she blocked the magic. I went over to my dresser and pulled out my spare as well as a block of wood. I began carving, seeing Nimi lean against my doorframe out of the corner of my eye. "Hey."
"So, I wanted to ask what happened."
"Hm?"
"What happened to make you do this?"
"Do what?"
"Summon a Demon and Bind it to yourself."
"Ah." I said as I continued the carving. "Well, when I woke back up and saw how injured you were I- I left and summoned it. It Bound itself to me with promises of power, of being strong enough to protect you. Instead... Instead it hurt you, made you not know the true me anymore. Made you hurt me in your panic."
She was silent for a long time, standing at the door, not entering and just watching the carving take shape. "Is that... Me?"
"What?" I had had my eyes closed so I opened them and looked up at her. "What do you mean?"
"That." She points at the chunk of wood in my hands.
I looked down and let out a breath of laughter. "I suppose it is."
"Why's it look like I'm crying?"
"I- Because that image is ingrained in my memory. The moment you stabbed me, tears flowing fast down your cheeks. I can't get it to leave my my. It's stuck in there."
"Then why don't I fix that?" She walked slowly into my room, leaned towards me slowly, as if wanting to make sure I'm fine with it, and captured my lips in a kiss. In that moment, I felt the magic blocker fading and I swapped the carving in my hand with another block and began carving it immediately. She pulled away just as I finished it, brushing the shavings off her dress. "Pretty." I glanced down at the carving and saw it looked just like her when she had set the flower crown of Dawn Roses from the flowery forest on her head, smiling up at me.
"Yeah." I smiled lightly. "I need to leave before I hurt you again." I say as my smile slowly changed into a more neutral expression. "Goodbye." I got up and walked over to the window in the sitting room, opening it. I spread my wings and heard her gasp. "What-"
"Y-Your wings.... They- No." She sunk to the ground, tears falling once more. "You-You can't be."
"Can't be what?"
"You- NO!" Nimi wailed and buried her face in her hands. "Nonono. No..."
"What?"
"You-You'll destroy the w-world."
"What? I-I can't let that happen. I need to say my goodbyes." I summoned the dagger I had used just a while ago. "Goodbye Nimi." I went to the top of the tower that Samu loved oh-so-much and knocked on the door.
"Yes?" The Were-Cat grumbled and opened the door. "You-"
"I came to say goodbye."
"You imprisoned her-"
"Talk to her and you'll understand." I turned on my heel and walked to the war planning room that Saph should be. "Hello?"
"Min? You're the one-"
"Not right now. I came to say goodbye. Where's Jina?"
"Why should I tell you?"
"Please." The look on my face must have been earnest enough, since the Caveling Queen sighed and told me.
"The center of the Rose Maze."
"Thank you." I went to the maze and went to the center, the place where she had loved so much. "Jina?"
"Min? You fucking traitorous bastard!"
"I came to say goodbye-"
"Wait! Do you have a knife?"
"Yes." I turned away and walked to the gate again as Jina tried, and failed, to stop me. "Freirry!"
"Yes Min?"
"I came to say goodbye."
"Why? And what's up with that kni- No!" He went to pull it from me and I jumped back, spreading the wings that still were visible. I flew up and over the gate, heading to the fountain in the middle of the forest of Dawn Roses that grew naturally. The same forest she made the flower crown in, the same one she used her magic to protect. The one where I'll die again.
I set the knife on the edge of the fountain and dipped my hands in. I sighed and sent what will truly be my last words to Nimi. ~Nimi?~
~Min!~
~Goodbye forever my love. I hope that you'll forever be safe.~
~NO! Do-~
I couldn't hear the rest of her words since I had plunged the dagger into my chest once more. ~Hello Godfather.~
~What did you do this for? You could be with her-~
~She would die because of me. I couldn't let this happen.~
~Then you made the right choice. I hope you never regret this choice.~
~I won't.~
~Then you may go on to Heaven.~
~Thank you, Godfather.~ My spiritual body gave him a bow and I dissipated. In Heaven, you get your real body back but do not have the needs you would on the Earth.
I saw the two ladies that Nimi sad were her sisters there too. They thanked me and I simply nodded, keeping quiet. They took me to a pot and I watched Nimi crying on the floor in the same place I had left her. I watched until I couldn't stand it and then went and cried away my pain.