Later in the afternoon, I decide to take a stroll in the imperial garden. It distracted me from my present trouble. The court meeting had ended. I can never forget the look in Genji's eyes. She had looked so sad it broke my heart.
Just as if heaven had taken pity on me, I saw Genji walking with general Wu.
"Greetings to you uncle. Juan'er, may I speak to you for a moment?" I asked.
General Wu whispers to Genji. He then leaves us alone.
"Why did you ask to speak with me, your majesty? I thought we had said our goodbyes a long time ago." She said.
"I came to inform you that the grand empress will soon invite us to plan the wedding. You don't know anything about the wedding rites. I feared you might disgrace the duke." He said.
"Really? Is that all you want to say? Then your majesty best not concern yourself with such trivial matters. What concerns me is no concern of yours" she said
"Okay. Then I will leave you be" I said turning to walk away when she grabs my hand.
"What do you want?" I asked.
"Really? What happened to loving Li Juan? I thought you said you will only love her? Now you are marrying princess of Chu. You told the empress dowager you loved her. How could you?" She asked
"Don't you ever question my loyalty to Juan'er. I love only her and her alone. I said that to convince mother." I said.
"You just never loved me!! You are busy obsessed with a girl that has died!! Li juan is dead. She is never coming back." She said.
This made me angry. Maybe its true I loved her too much. But she is the last person I wanted to hear this from.
"You are right. Maybe i am. Maybe I never loved you. I just can't forget her. That's why I'm letting you go. You remind me of her everyday. Everyday when I see you, when I fall in love with you, I feel bad! I feel like I have betrayed Li Juan! That her spirit will never rest because I promised to love her and her alone! Can you blame me? She died and I wasn't there for her. I wasn't by her side. And that hunts me everyday. So I have no room for you or anyone else" I said.
By the time am through, I see her sobbing. I want to hold her so bad but I keep my distance and watch her cry, every tear burns my heart but I take it. After today, there will be no future for us. She will just be like a passing breeze. The kind that was warm and beautiful. She runs away after some minute and I stone the wall shouting!!!!