"It's never easy living in abuse, but if you can free yourself from it, it's the best feeling in the world. Freedom is taken for granted until you end up in situation where its completely take from you." - Tarasue Ebanks (me)
It felt like I was here for weeks. I was starting to see things, I saw Dwight - sitting beside me, talking about his trip, how many samples he collected, how he missed me, how he longed to hold me. I was sure I was hallucinating.
I haven't eaten in such a long time. I was starving, but I couldn't eat the food, everytime I tried to eat, I brought it back up.
I was now feeling dizzy, with a mild headache, trying to will the headache to go away.
I laid on the hard floor, curled into a fetus position. I was stink; covered in perspiration, vomit and blood. I looked like road kill and I smelled like a carcass laying on the side of the road.
The door opened and I heard footsteps coming towards me. The person knelt on the floor, I heard his knees pop. A hand came down on my shoulder gently.
"Miss Banks, you need to shower, the boss will be back today and he'll have my head if you look and smell this way." Aaron said.
"Maybe he'll release me if I'm stink enough." I responded.
"Please." He begged.
"Go away Aaron." I stated and he did just that. He left me to myself, to wallow in self pity.
For hours I was curled into that position, my side going numb from laying too long on the hard floor.
After several hours, I heard the door open again. I smelled his cologne before I heard or saw him. Pine and musk. Matthew, you son of a bitch.
"Why have you not eaten nor showered?" He asked.
I didn't respond to him, he asked a rhetorical question.
He asked again, I still didn't answer. He didn't like that. All his questions must be answered. I was starting to piss him off and we were venturing into familiar territory. That territory was where he did something drastic.
He grabbed me by the shoulders and lifted me from the floor shaking my shoulders.
He stared at me, as if trying to figure out what was going on in my mind.
"It seems your friends have finally figured out that your missing. Too bad they won't find you though." He said, with a devilsh grin on his face.
That woke my body up, my headache disappearing.
Thoughts of them not finding me and what everyone's life would be like without me in it, flashed before my eyes. I didn't want that for them nor Dwight.
I started to thrash in his hands. I wanted to escape, I needed to escape.
I continued until he loosened his grip and I fell to the floor, hitting my head. An instantaneous headache started, pain radiated from the back of my head.
"Look at what you did, foolish." He stated, he was now mad. "You need to stop with your games Amelia, don't you know I will never let you go?" He asked. "Do you think I will let you go back to him? I will kill you before I let that happen." He said and the glint he had in his eyes said, he meant every word.
He wasn't going to let me go, he would kill me first before he let me hurt his pride and letting me go back to Dwight would certainly do that.
"You think the judge could have stopped me from having you? You were sadly mistaken if you thought that. You flaunted your little fling with him in front of me, what did you think would happen. You're my woman, MINE. I told you before, if I can't have you, NO ONE WILL." He said, his top lip curling upwards.
I looked up at him, wanting to say something spiteful that I know will hurt him. Nothing came to my lips, my mind drew a blank. The headache getting worse.
He reached forward to take my hand, but I moved my body to the side. He got mad and grabbed my shirt and pulled my along the floor, over to the chair that was in the corner.
"Place her on the chair Aaron, she's gonna thrash around and I don't want to lose my patience."
"Yes sir."
Aaron stretched his hand towards me and I started to roll around on the floor. When he finally caught me, he placed me on the chair.
Hair in my face, my clothes; dirty, torn - my body - bloody, gashes.everywhere, my face swollen with the colours of the rainbow. I looked like I was fighting in a boxing matching and I was losing.
"Why won't you let me go Matthew? I don't want to be with you, I've moved on with my life. I'm happy with Dwight. You need to do the same." I said. That made him livid.
He didn't look at me, but I could feel the waves of anger rolling off his body. I was taunting him, trying everything to get him to let me go.
"You had multiple chances and what did you do? You behaved just as you are behaving now. Vindictive, bossy, controlling. MOVE ON!!." I shouted the last two words hoping it would have some effect on him.
Forgetting that he's incapable of feeling any emotion, beside getting angry, his heart as hard as a rock.
He moved swiftly towards me, grabbing my face and kissing me hard.
I was in a state of shock to react right away, after a few seconds my mind came back to reality and I began moving my head side to side, wanting to dislodge my face from his.
He kissed my harder, bruising my lips and forcing his tongue into my mouth. He tasted vile. I did the only thing I could do. I bit his tongue and held on to it.
He jerked away, touching his bloody mouth.
"I told y-." I never got to finish, I went flying off the chair onto the floor.
"I wanted us to be together, but you are making that so hard for us. First you walked away to be with, him. You let him inside you, you let him do things to you that only I should be doing. I forgave you for that because you didn't understand what you were doing to me. I took you back, but your misbehaving now and I can't have that. You need to be severely punished. Remember I told you a few years ago not to cross me." He said as he stared into my eyes.
I spat into his face. " Go to hell you bastard." I said.
"I'm already there sweetheart, waiting on you to join me." He retorted.
He got up and walked to the door, then turned to Aaron. "Tired of fighting with her, gather ready, it's time."
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