A rare moment actually happened in the beginning of Autumn. The whole family went out for a day out of the town. It's not like we have not done things like that before, but I have usually always been reluctant. I just always felt out of place with being with my mom and dad. Maybe because I always felt if I went with them they would trap me into doing something awkward so I avoided the whole situation off jump. What can I say? Traumatized from childhood.
Today was different though. Today I had a buffer now. Jessica was with us. There was a good chance they would not make me do anything too crazy while she was here. It was nice just having someone else to come along besides just my parents and myself.
We decided to go out to East Rutherburg. Besides being known for the Stadium for the NY Giants and Jets, the place actually had a nice ambience to it. It had an old school vibe to New Jersey. It felt a bit unique from the rest of the state. At least to me. I don't get out much so this was a nice change of pace.
My parents found a nice cafe where we had brunch. We ate outside because it was a beautiful fall day and the area was really nice. Remnants of Summer. The cafe was in a nook between buildings. Flowers of many types and colors ran in between the alley way. The way the Sun was positioned it shined in between the buildings and brought out the scene like a painting. If you're not paying attention you can miss the cafe. A shame if someone does.
We all dressed pretty nice today as well. We didn't have any set plan, but figured we should put on some casual nice clothes. My dad had on some grey slacks and a purple polo. Mom wore a white spaghetti strapped dress with two black lines going down the middle diagonally. Jessica wore a blue sundress that crinkled at the end of it and it was designed with a white flower printed on her left breast and one on the center of her back. She wore white wedges today. This was one of the outfits she bought while with my mother when she first arrived. It felt like a mature casual wear just because it looked like something my mother would wear, but Jessica looked amazing in it. Perks of being naturally beautiful I guess.
Oh as for me. I wore a pair of dark blue jeans and a salmon Ralph Polo tee shirt with a pair of white air force 1s. Nothing crazy, but nice in terms of what I usually wear.
We did not do much at the cafe. We were all hungry because we skipped breakfast to come here. The food tasted amazing. I had me a french toast that was extremely fluffy with 2 scrambled eggs and sausage links. Mom and Dad had bacon and eggs with a soup that I did not know the name of. Jessica had pancakes, bacon, and eggs. So all the food was lovely.
When we weren't stuffing our faces my parents spent the time asking Jessica how her stay in the states were going. Of course she said she was loving it. She said she always wanted to go to the States and this was a good opportunity for her. Sounded good, but I felt like she did not say all of what she was feeling. Also, she did not say anything about being homesick at all. She is very far from home and is feeling no homesickness? I know she had her issues at home from what she told me before, but I thought even then you can feel homesick. Seems odd, but she could also just be a well put together girl. I did not say much. I just listened. I learn best from just listening.
After we all finished our meal we came up with some form of a plan. We decided to go to the mall and do whatever we wanted. Normally I stay away from the mall due to lack of money, but dad gave me and Jessica $50 to do whatever with. I don't like taking that much from my dad. I'm fine with my chores' money that he gives me for doing random things around the house. Right now though I can't say no to free money.
We made it to the mall at about one thirty. The mall we went to was relatively small. It seemed like a local one for the neighborhood. It was very nice inside though. It had a tall glass ceiling and brown walls all around. Usually you have malls with a white modern look, but this was different. Had your usual stores in it. From JC Penny to Foot Locker. Had a usual dollar store, but mostly clothing places. Typical mall, but not a bad thing at all.
I had no intentions of spending the money I had. I did not necessarily need anything at this point. I had clothes for school and I had sneakers for the season. Of course I was going to look around to see if anything caught my eye, but I doubt it.
"Okay." my Dad said. "My wife and I will go do some shopping. You guys are good on your own?"
"We're in a mall. We'll be good." I responded.
"Okay. We are planning on being done at like 5, but no rush. Go have fun."
My dad turned and walked off. My mother blew us a kiss and went by his side. Now Jessica and I stood alone in the middle of the mall. I figured this would be the case. It made the most sense. I was still nervous. This definitely felt sorta like a date. I was not really ready for this. Though I'm pretty much over thinking at this point. It is just a mall. Don't have to be any more than that.
"Aight. Let's get going I guess." I said without looking at her.
"Do you have anything to do?" She asked.
"Nope. Nothing at all. Time to explore."
"You ever been here?"
"Nah. First time. Care to join me?"
"Why of course, sir." She said in a distinguished voice jokingly. I rolled my eyes with a smile and we went into the crowd of people.
We looked into a few clothing stores. She did not really want to buy anything. She said my mother already gave her so much that she was pretty much good until winter. We just wanted to explore. We did find a store with a lot of anime merch. We spent a lot of time there. I almost pulled the trigger on a squirtle squad shirt. But I decided I did not need it. Jessica did end up buying some Eevee socks that did look nice. I may come back for something later, but I was good for now.
We left the store and wondered a bit. We spotted my parents in IKEA looking at a bed. I did not know they were looking for one. We just went past them and did not interrupt what they had going on. Not many stores were interesting to us. We were just goofing off and talking about anime. But as we wrapped around the food court we found a store that caught both of our eyes and we ran to it.
It was a retro gaming store in one of the corners of the mall. It had six functional arcade games. On the back wall were old games from GameCube, PS1, PS2, Xbox, and many more. The cases around held Gameboy games and yu-gi-oh cards and another card game that I was not familiar with called Magic the Gathering. The art work looked amazing though. We walked into nerd paradise.
"Yo this is crazy." Jessica said.
"I did not expect to see a store like this here." I said.
"We're definitely playing. I hope you understand that."
"Why of course, madam." I responded using the same voice she gave me earlier.
We went to the store clerk and exchanged ten dollars for quarters to play the games. Might be the best ten dollars ever spent. I knew it was about to be a great day. Finally something to do.
Well it was a great day… depending on who you asked. She demolished me in all the games. Like all of them. Street Fighter. Throttled. Mario. Ran laps around me. Duck Hunt. This girl started sniping my ducks to help me.
We were finally in a game I should've been good at in Basketball Shootout. I was pretty good too. She was just better. She did not miss one shot and they all were 3 pointers. She was like a video game machine. I would say my pride took a hit, but I was more amazed than anything. Who is this girl?
"Um Ray. I thought you played basketball for a living?" Jessica said while staring at the screen.
"I do." I responded kinda upset, but still having fun.
"Well… You probably should get another sport."
"How are you this good? At all of the games. Like all of them."
"These stores is all around Tokyo, dumb dumb. I play these games all the time. Even got a few championships."
"You won tournaments in what?"
"Street Fighter and a few racing games. To name a couple."
"So when was you planning on bringing this up?"
"After I made you understand that there was no way you were going to beat me. I think after this shot you finally will understand." She flicked the joy stick and splashed the three. Game over. Embarrassment awarded to me.
"Good games though. I played people who are worse." She said.
"Is that supposed to make me feel good or something?" I respond.
"Oh no. My job is not to make you feel better. My job is to beat you and make you feel inferior." She said with a smile. I think she is evil.
She turned and started skipping towards a wall that was displaying comics. I never thought that she was that good. I figured she played games, but damn she won tournaments. I definitely was not winning against her. I hate losing, but for some reason these losses did not sting too bad.
"You're amazing." I said as I walked up to her.
"Eh. I liked gaming in my free time when I wasn't...busy." What was the pause just now? "I guess gaming was a fun escape."
"But you won tournaments. You got talent, girl. Or you just really worked hard to get to where you're at. You're amazing." I said again.
She stood up and looked at me. She then walked closer and went into my chest. She looked up at me and had a very straight face.
"If you keep calling me amazing then you might start something you can't finish." She brought her face closer to mine then stopped at my nose. A big smile crossed her face. Then she blew in my eye. I stepped back because it caught me completely off guard. I regained my composure. I saw her laughing and walking back towards the comic section and looking through them.
Who is this girl? She throws me off in so many ways. Is she flirting or just messing with me? Is she like this around other people? Was she like this at home? So many questions. I feel like I'm overthinking it all. One thing for certain though, I am happy. But I wonder what she meant by a few things she said actually.
"Hey. What did you mea…"
"Hey. You guys been here all this time?"
I looked past Jessica and saw my parents at the entrance. My dad was carrying a few bags. Looks like from three different stores. They had a good time it seemed. My mother was smiling so she found something good.
"Hi Rick." Jessica said. "Yeah we found this great store and played a bunch of games."
"Oh that's nice. You won any?" My mother asked.
"I won them all." Jessica said with a huge smile.
"Alright! Girls kicking butt." My mother gave Jessica a high five. She was way too excited about this. Am I not her son?
"You couldn't win a game?" My dad asked.
"Listen. She's a legitimate pro." I said.
"Sounds like an excuse."
"Because it is." I have no comeback at all.
"Did you throw games?"
"Dad. You know I would never. She is just better. For now."
My dad gave me a smile. He knows I won't take losses lying down.
"Are you guys ready to go? There's a park we can go to that's by a lake." my Dad said.
"Yeah. I'm done losing for one day. I'm good to go."
"Yeah. He needs to lick his wounds." She is so funny. I hate her.
The lake was not too far from the mall. My parents were definitely here before. Seems like a nice place to chill at the end of a busy day. The sun was not due to set for a few more hours, but there was still a nice orange hue in the sky. The lake was large and actually clear. Flowers surrounded the lake. All purple. Not sure of the type though.
"What do you guys think of the lake?" my mom asked. "Rick and I come here from time to time to just relax."
"Oh it's beautiful." Jessica responded. "It's a shame with all the litter though. Like the garbage is all around here."
She was right. There was a lot of garbage here. Seems like no one comes and clean. Or they do and people just continue to throw it on the ground. It probably piles up due to the high volume of people that come to this lake. It does take a bit from the scenery.
Jessica and I continued to walk forward. We were discussing the games we just played. I was trying to pick her brain on some of the combos she was doing. She was not trying to give all her secrets out. I was having fun, but for some reason I felt off. My parents were too quiet. That had me worried. I turned my head and looked at them. My Dad looked my way. And stopped.
Oh no.
"Your mother and I have a good idea." He said.
This is not good.
"What if you helped pick up some of the trash around, Ray? Do some self service for the day."
Not good at all.
"Why would I do that?" I said. Trying my best to not get mad. I did not want to get mad. I was having such a nice day.
"Because it's a good deed. You'll feel better for it." my mom said.
"I doubt it. Besides, I did not make this mess."
"Ray. Do it for a half hour. Just this area." my mom said.
"It was such a good day. So nice. And here ya go screwing it up as usual!" Now I was mad.
"Ray. Do not use that language."
"Like why do I have to do it? What are you guys going to do while I'm here cleaning? Are you going to help me?"
"We're going to be���" my dad started. I did not let him finish.
"You won't be. You're going to enjoy your walk while I work. Why do I have to be the one?"
"Because this is your journey to walk. We are just leading you." My dad said.
Huh? What the hell is this man talking about? Am I in a twilight zone and this is a cult?
"Are you guys crazy? What the hell are you talking about with that crap?!"
"Raymond enough!" My dad bellowed.
"No! I…"
"It's okay. I can help too, Ray."
I turned and saw Jessica. I forgot she was here. I looked around and saw other people looking. I'm causing a scene. Great.
"You don't have to, Jess." My mother said. "You don't want to mess up your dress."
Mess up her dress? What about my white air force 1s? Am I really their child because this is too much. It is almost laughable.
"I'll be fine. I think it might be fun. Get a bit dirty. You guys got gloves?" Jessica asked
"See now that's a great attitude to have." My dad said. "I'll go get you guys some gloves."
My dad went back towards the car. My mom stayed standing there. I was left just heated. I can't believe I'm about to clean a public park.
"Ray…" my mom started, but didn���t finish.
I turned and looked at her. I saw Jessica with her finger up and shaking her head at my mom. She stopped her from saying something to me. My mom then walked up ahead the path.
A few moments later my dad returned with some gloves and garbage bags. He handed it to us and I practically snatched it from him. Who has this in the car? Was this a plan from the start of the day? I feel so trapped. I walked over to a corner and just got to work. Nothing else I could do. My dad went and met his wife on the path.
I was practically throwing stuff in the bag. There was literally no point in doing this. Why the hell did it have to be me? I'm not this Earth's savior. I never asked to be.
"You might as well calm down. You're already doing it."
I turned and Jessica was a few feet from me picking up a can. She had to bend at the knees because of the dress she was wearing.
"You don't have to be here. This is my burden."
She giggled at that. "You're so dramatic. You watch too much anime. It's just trash. You will not die… I think."
"Easy for you to say. They always make me do things like this. They blind side me and then when I rebel then I'm in the wrong. They don't love me." I protested.
"Well we both know that's not the truth."
"Not sure right now."
"They truly think they are helping you. No matter how unorthodox it is. They do love you."
"Then why am I not asked about this stuff? Why force me?"
"Because they see you as a child. As all parents see their children as."
"I wish they could just listen to me. They never listen."
Because you never tried being heard. You resort to yelling. They think you're just rebelling because you're a child throwing a tantrum."
"I tried talking. They don't listen."
"I don't think you truly have. You start off quiet, but you then go to yelling probably because you think from the beginning they will not listen. You have to truly talk with them and express your feelings."
"That's not going to work."
"What you been doing, has that worked?"
I did not answer. It clearly did not work since I'm here holding someone's bag of chips.
"At least your family cares about you." She continued.
"I feel so trapped. They just don't understand."
"You're not trapped, Ray. Believe me. You got more freedom than most. You have so much freedom. I envy you honestly."
"Okay. You've been giving me sublimals all day. What is wrong? How is your life in Tokyo? You don't even seem to like it there."
She went quiet. She turned towards the lake and walked to it. I followed here. She was contemplating whether to tell me or not. I stood next to her waiting for her to open.
"My life in Tokyo is no fairy tale like you see in anime's and stuff like that. The real world is just that, real." She finally said. "My whole life has been sculpted and laid out for me. I rarely have freedom. What I told you before was the truth about me coming here. At least part of it. I did get into a few scuffles in school. There is another reason why I was sent here.
My father is the head of a company in Tokyo. Not real big, but big enough. I'm pretty well off. My mother just takes care of the home. I'm also a single child. Similar to your situation. But as an only child, for me, I'm expected to take over the company one day and continue the growth of it. I'm being groomed to be a leader. My studies are picked out for me, what I eat, when I workout, and even the people I have to know are basically picked out for me. Hell, I'm not even here by choice."
"Wait. You said you wanted to see the States." I said. Trying to get the full picture of her world.
"I did. But on my terms. I was basically shipped here by my father. He wanted me to see a new land and see how others lived and interacted. The New Experience was just a good opportunity to do it. He feels this will make me a better leader one day. I do understand your parents. They want you to be a good man when you grow up. My father wants me to be a great leader. You feel trapped? Well, my life is a prison."
"But what about the gaming? How you get all of those trophies?"
"That was the small bit of freedom I had. Well I had to make it happen. I snuck around a lot to go play games. Or I just went when I did have free time. But for the most part I had one friend that covered for me as I skipped out on tutoring sessions I had to attend. The friend was the tutor luckily. If he felt I understood enough he gave me days off to go play a game. I'll always be grateful for that. He also had to keep all my trophies too."
"But you just told me to talk to my parents. Why not try the same?"
"I've tried. That got met with a slap to the face."
"Wow. I'm sorry. My parents never hit me. Though I know I deserve it sometimes."
"Yeah. My father would've had your head by now. That's why I say you're not as trapped as you think. You might be in a cage, but your door is cracked. Mines feel locked with no way out."
"It's definitely not as bad as you, but I don't see that crack you're talking about."
"Yeah. I do understand that, but try talking to them next time. See what happens."
"Okay. I will."
"Thank you."
"I should thank you."
"Why?"
"Well, one, for staying here and cleaning with me. And two, for telling me about your life." I did appreciate her for doing that. It put my life in a different perspective. I always knew my life was not the worst, but now I have someone who is in my life whose life is pretty much worse. Maybe I can try again with my parents.
"Also. Maybe you can try talking to your dad again. It seems like you don't want to take over this business. Maybe one day he can truly hear you." I told her.
"Maybe." She responded. "I'm happy he sent me here though. I do feel the most free I've ever been."
"I'm happy as well. I got to meet you."
She looked at me with a beautiful smile. It was warm and sincere. "You're so sweet, Ray. I'm glad I met you. You're a great friend. For now."
"For now?"
She smiled and turned back to pick up more trash. She is a wonder.
A few moments later we were met by my parents. Thanks to Jessica I was calm now. They told us that we could stop and it was time to head home. We were going to get dinner, but now we were dirty and pretty exhausted. Home sounded pretty good. We thought we could possibly go somewhere local if anything.
On the way home Jessica knocked out next to me. The sunset sun shined on her face as she slept. She truly was a beautiful girl. Inside and out. She has had a complicated life. She did not say it, but I doubt she dated anyone. Seems like that was forbidden from her. Maybe I can…
What did she mean by for now? That reentered my mind. Does she like me? I really did not know. She just called me her friend. But she added for now. That kinda threw me off. Should I just ask her out? We do get along pretty well. She may say yes…
What am I thinking about? There is no need to wonder about that at all. We are friends and we are having a good time together. No need to complicate it now. Patience is best in this situation. Since I don't even know what I want yet still… a bit pathetic at this point.
But that's what I chose, to wait. For months nothing happened. Soon It was winter. Basketball season was here.