Those words sounded resenting. I smiled bitterly as I said in a hoarse voice, "If he's not good, you're not that different from him either and you may be even worse. Do you think you are good for me? You used to be but not now. So, it's better for us from now on, to not talk to each other."
Hearing my words that might offend him at the same time, the words immediately caused a reaction from him. His face grew even more shocked and some sparks looked like they were about to explode, but they suppressed suddenly. Then, without being able to avoid it, he immediately squeezed my arms firmly while speaking fearfully, "What?! No! Chunghee, don't ... I don't want to. I didn't do that on purpose."
However, I didn't hear those words as his apology, but just as nonsense so that he didn't want to be blamed. I thought that Donghwa wanted to make a fool of me, so I replied without caring about what he just said, "Okay. Let's break up."
His eyes suddenly widened open with emotions that were ready to explode. He didn't move for a few seconds before he grabbed my wrist, then pulled me roughly into the bedroom. His hand that was gripped my wrist tightly seemed to numb me, yet it was painful in my heart.
He threw me on the bed and immediately pressed my body under his, and then looked at me with a glare that was ready to devour me while saying with obvious anger in his words, "I will teach you a lesson that will deter you so that you're afraid to be touched by others!" He took off his coat, loosened his tie, then immediately came back on top of me, holding my hands and pressing them over my head.
I was helpless.
"I'm sure that you two have slept together. How does he do it? Are you more satisfied when sleeping with him, so that you rarely want to be touched by me? Or does he just come when I'm not here? Or maybe this Chunghee who has become a slut. Heh, all right, never mind. How dirty you are now, I can clean your body tonight!"
I frowned tightly. Those words were truly outrageous. I reflexively spat on his face, then shouted, "What the fuck are you talking about, you bastard?! Do you think that I've slept with him?! Get rid of your fucking crazy thoughts! You—"
Before finishing my sentence, he closed my mouth immediately, pressing it down hard with his hard palm. He didn't allow me to continue what I wanted to tell him, or didn't even want to hear any explanation of me.
Crudely, without mercy and compassion, he ate me tonight like a hungry beast. This was rape! This was something that wasn't pleasant at all. I didn't like it and want to die instead of having to be tortured!
His touches and kisses, all of them were just the things to vent the anger inside of him.
He wasn't Donghwa that I knew years ago. He seemed to have become a different man in the last seven months — no! I had felt this change since he started taking over as president of the company!
I knew that he was rude when he made love with me. But today, he seemed like he was going to kill me with this terrible torture.
After the torture that barely left me dead, everything fell silent. There was only a small movement that felt on the bed, then returned to be quiet where the quietness felt dreadful. I stared out of the window, staring at the endless darkness outside with blank eyes while speaking in a hoarse voice that sounded horrible, "Donghwa, are you there?"
I lifted my wrist, staring at it that showed the red marks of his tight tied as he did something that I didn't want to do at the moment.
"Donghwa, what's wrong with you? Why did you change? You know, I missed Donghwa in past, where he always listened to me; never made me cry, and never yelled at me. I want the old Donghwa."
But, he didn't even say anything when I said that important thing. I knew that he was behind my body right now, and sitting sweetly while lamenting something. He might be sorry, or he might feel satisfied while thinking that the victory was on his side.
Until a few moments later, he started talking, "You have to resign from that company. You don't have to work. You can ask me anything if there's something you need. I'll send you money as often as I can."
I smirked. "You think, I'm with you because of your money? I really don't need your money. I have my own money. All I want is Donghwa when we were in college."
He was heard taking a deep breath before replying with a deep voice, "Stop working at that place."
Hearing his words, I painstakingly turned my head back, then looked at his back. He started to stand up, straightened his clothes, and put his tie back on.
He then grabbed the coat that he was wearing earlier, then came out by slamming the door until it made a loud sound that broke the silence in this room.
After Donghwa's footsteps were no longer heard, silence slowly filled the room. I looked back out of the window before grabbing my cell phone which was laying on the bedside table and starting to call Daehyun.
Shortly thereafter, he answered the phone. "Ah, Chunghee, you called at a bad time. What's going on?"
His hoarse voice confirmed that I was interrupting his rest time, but I didn't care. He also often disturbed my precious time in the night. We could say that it was breaking even.
I smiled slightly at the tone of his voice that sounded sulking like a sullen kid. "Hmm, sorry. I just want to thank you for the flower bouquet that you gave to me. I really like it. But, why did you just send flowers so sudden?"
"A flower bouquet?" paused for a moment, he suddenly exclaimed, "Ah! Do you like it? Thank God. I brought it from afar — um, about the flower, Go Hyunjae told me when you were in the hospital. She said that you wanted to come to the Rose Festival in Pohang last week, so I gave you the famous Juliet Rose because I thought that the flowers were a special Rose. You know, I even forgot that I ordered those flowers for you because of my busy schedule these days."
"I really appreciate it. But, next time you don't have to bother yourself with things like that. I've been bothering you too often."
He chuckled. "You never bothered me at all. It was me who always bothered you. But, if you like roses, I can give you every—"
Before he finished his words, I immediately cut them off, "Ah, no, there's no need. You don't have to. And, you better rest now."
"Ah, alright. As you wish, " with a pause, he continued, "I'd like to talk to you a little longer, but my eyes are completely irreconcilable. Then, you should get some rest too. Take care of yourself. Good night."
The first month of fall this year seemed like a bad start to our relationship. I had also endured a long enough for a relationship that I wanted to rebuild, and I never thought that it would last through thirty-six seasons. However, staying up to this point made me feel bored. I wanted to run away from a relationship that wasn't as harmonious as before.
Is God starting to rebuke this relationship? But, why now? When I've flowed with my feelings?
I'm hard enough to get back on the sidelines!