Behind the desk, Dr. Jeong asked with obvious concern in his voice, "Mr. Park, put it this way, if you don't want to do surgery, then what about chemotherapy? Ah, no, all medical procedures must be done according to the rules."
I could only smile weakly to show a subtle refusal.
Dr. Jeong shook his head, showing his weakness in facing my stubbornness. He took off his glasses, placing them on the pile of anatomy books while asking curiously, "Why do you keep delaying it, sir? Your condition is getting worse. You sometimes felt sudden numbness, headaches several times a day, and bleeding. All of them indicate that your condition is getting worse. It can't be left alone for too long."
Finishing his sentences, Dr. Jeong sighed for a moment, then looked at me with high hope in his eyes, expecting me to change my mind soon and get rid of my stubbornness.
"Mr. Park, you're the most stubborn patient that I have worked with. Please, give me a reasonable excuse so I can take those words back." The worry in his tone turned to the disappointment in his soft voice.
I just kept silent. There was nothing I could say to deny all that truth.
If he said that I was stubborn and irresponsible with myself, people would laugh at me when I evaded the truth.
He took a deep breath and repeated the same question with a little affirmation, "Sir, please, speak up. Give me a reason why are you delaying for surgery?"
After a few seconds of silence, I answered, "Doctor Jeong, I'm just scared. I can't decide to do surgery now, while chemotherapy,
I heard that chemotherapy has many side effects and I also heard that it hurts a lot."
Hearing that excuse, Dr. Jeong couldn't help but chuckle, "I thought that you have a different reason with others. And apparently, it's no different from the reasons of my other patients," paused for a second, he continued, "One thing that you need to know, sir, where many cancer sufferers are strong people. You just need encouragement. Next time, maybe you should invite your family to come to see me so I can give a little understanding, and I'm sure that they will agree with that decision."
Family ... heh ...
It was like a familiar joke ...
The only family I had now was Donghwa, but it seemed like I was the only one to consider our relationship as a family other than as lovers for now and in the future.
Of all these painful things, I couldn't possibly tell him about this. It was like embarrassing myself.
However, I knew that there was time when he would find out about this, whether it was me, who told him, or he would found out by himself.
After being in this hospital for a while and receiving a lot of advice from Dr. Jeong, I immediately went home with some medicines that were given by him as a souvenir for myself.
When I got to the apartment and stood alone in the living room, I mused in the gloom. Donghwa said that he would stay at home and wait for me to return. However, since I was downstairs, I didn't see his car and it confirmed that he wasn't there.
He wasn't someone who could stay at home.
Since he didn't give me any news, so I tried to call him but in vain. He didn't even activate his cell phone, so I decided to wait for him until it was 9.00 p.m.
Currently, Donghwa still had not returned and not given any news at all.
I fell asleep in the living room without realizing it. But when I woke up from sleep, I felt something warm touched my forehead. When I opened my eyes carefully, the face of someone who was smiling at me was like the warmth of spring after snow.
Donghwa's soft and intimate voice sounded like a whisper, "Chunghee, you're wearing such thin clothes and falling asleep here? Go to the bedroom. You can catch a cold if you sleep here."
I yawned and rubbed my eyes while replying, "I didn't know if I fell asleep here."
"Have you eaten?" he asked.
I nodded slowly.
It was getting late and Donghwa just came back. However, there was something different about him that made suspicions slowly arise. Now, not only the smell of alcohol on his clothes but the smell of a different perfume that I could sense obviously of his body. I was sure that it didn't belong to him.
I wanted to ask, 'Where have you been? What are you doing out there?' Yet he wasn't someone who liked possessive questions like those. It would only give me something worse.
Sighing silently, I spoke quietly, "Donghwa, stop drinking alcohol. I don't like the smell of it."
He smiled, then touched my head. "I will."
He then went into the bedroom to change his clothes, while I remained in the living room, thinking of myself who might have been betrayed tonight — no! But, I had been betrayed a long time ago, much longer before this even.
"Hey, Chunghee?"
But, when he came out of the room, he showed a different face, cold and terrifying me with a look that was like ... stabbing my chest with a knife.
He showed something at the tip of his finger, and coldly said, "You aren't someone who likes to use a handkerchief, are you? And, you must also know that I don't have a handkerchief like this. Do you have an answer, who the hell is the owner of this handkerchief?"
In his hand was a washed brown handkerchief. It was Daehyun's. It had been a while so I forgot to return it.
I tried to remain quiet even though with a feeling of shock as if it wanted to blow my heart, then answered, "It belongs to Mr. Kim. I forgot to return it."
"Oh, so that Mr. President again? Do you have a good reason why do you have this?"
I sighed and stood up in front of him. "He lent me when I was sick, and I forgot to give it back to him."
I grabbed the handkerchief from his fingers. However, he immediately gripped my wrist so tightly as if he was about to crush my bones ... as well as my heart...
"Looks like this handkerchief is precious to you. It is tucked neatly in your wardrobe as if you didn't let me find it. Heh, but damn it, because I opened your wardrobe earlier and I found this!" He screamed as if he had gone mad.
I threw my hand so that he released his firm gripping on my wrist. "Yes! I don't want you to find it. Why? It's because you always think of ridiculous things like that! Get it?!"
The redness on his face showed a growing emotion in him. It took me aback in my current fear and instinctively hugged his body, hoping that by doing this thing would calm him down a bit. "Donghwa, I've said the truth. He just lent it to me. I beg you to believe me."
I couldn't help but cry. Every time he scolded me, it was stifling my chest. It was truly painful. However, instead of getting better, he, who was with a sense of uncontrollable anger, evident on his reddish face with blue veins were protruding on his forehead, pushing me hardly without pity.
I stared into his eyes in disbelief. It wounded my heart and hurt it even more than the hard impact wound when he pushed me away.
Now, he didn't want to listen to my words and was even doing this rudely. He was so different when I compared his current personality to the beginning of our relationship — nine years ago where he often gave in to me and always listened to me.