Sokcho, 5:00 pm.
Since that day; the day when frustration and doubtful formed into an emotion that hurt both of us, I felt like my heart didn't feel any happiness that I wished, and even became numb. No smile and only gloom, it was the worst of the worst to date.
Am I going to end up like this?
Hearing that question coming from a different side, I forced a smile at all the heavy things that had happened.
I had expected it from the moment I made this decision.
While laying helplessly on the bed, I closed my eyes. In my head, that question had a definite answer. I just dodged a truth that I didn't want to admit for a long time. Deceiving myself with an ending I wanted, making me endure and allowing myself to sink into this pain stupidly even though I knew it hurt.
I wanted to laugh — laughing at everything that had happened and at myself — maybe it would teach me a little lesson about how bad and stupid the choice I made was.
