Lacuna (noun)
A blank space, a missing part.
Chapter 12
(Botan P. O. V)
As father glides down the stairs, Mako slides down to the right, her head thumping slightly on the floor; beads of sweat trickling down her forehead. I glance over my heart thumping as her eyes roll into her head. She needs a mask now!
What I feared had happened, this is all father's fault. I had asked him to get her out of the rubles earlier as she needs her medication daily, but he kept on brushing me off and saying he's working on getting her out. Now not only is she having a seizure, she'll soon find out...what disgusting creature I am... and the bad things I've been doing... I can't...
"Father!" I address as he comes forward, glancing at Mako in disbelief. I swallow shaking, cold sweat covering my hands.
"She needs her medicine, she didn't take it for..." I'm cut of by Mako's groans, as she begins to convulse violently on the floor, her arms smacking her vomit beside her. The mess she's making on the floor is as bad as how things are going to change now. Father steps back; making sure none of the vomit gets on him. I grit my teeth and run over to her, crouching down grabbing her arms down so she would stop slapping them everywhere.
"We need you here at once." Father growls passively at his phone. Everything will be okay if she get's her usual shots... unless she wakes up before her doctor gives them to her... My eyes swell with tears as Mako's image blurs beneath me. I glance up at father as she shakes beneath me, anger swelling inside me as I watch him place his phone in his pocket coldly as if this is just yet another normal day... Gritting my teeth at Mako's moans as she shudders in pain, I can't but help believe this is what he wanted to happen. He knew this would happen if she didn't get her medicine, and he still stalled her rescue.
I heave her up into my arms swiftly; slapping me once in the process, I carry her to her bedroom, waiting for the doctor to show up. I take a deep breath and pull the mask off my face and place it on her, fastening it behind her head tightly. I close my eyes and try to breath in the reeking stench as slowly as I can. I can do this... I did this countless times just so Mako won't get suspicious of why I would be wearing a mask at home at all times. Father and the others are professionals, they look hardly bothered by the strong smell emitting from each other.
.
"... aghh... my head." My heart jolts as I flinch up finding Mako clutching her head trying to sit up. Why did she wake up so quickly!? I still remember when she had this fit before, she didn't wake up for hours... is her body stronger now for it to recover so fast?
I swallow as my eyes find hers. What if she asks me questions... what if she asks why I smell like this... what do I say? I should just leave the room. She sits up straight rubbing her dusted temple. She glances at the mask on her and places her hand on it.
"Don't!... don't take it off." She gawks at my harsh tone.
"The doctor will be here soon, you'll feel better once he's here." I reassure her. Now, not sure if she'll be the one feeling better or rather me at the doctor's presence.
"I think I'm okay now... I'm not in pain." She speaks through the mask eyeing me carefully.
"Just lay down till the doctor comes Mako." I tell her, tangling my hands together to stop them from shaking. She keeps staring at me quietly. What is she thinking? can she detect anything about me? I feel a soft panic growing inside me, with each passing second in her company. I offer her another quick glance and my stomach knots up.
(Mako P.O.V)
Botan is avoiding my eyes. Pale, sweat trickling down his neck. Since when did he look so sick? as if the life is drained from him.
Wearing this mask is padding, making it hard for me to breath as normal but I do as my brother ordered, he knows better. But I'm sure it has something to do with the bad smell.
"Can you smell it too?" I ask him tapping at my thigh. His eyes shoot up to mine, fluttering
"Huh?" He utters out of breath in a weak tone, his dry cracked lips slightly apart. He gives his hair a stroke down to his neck looking down. A knock on the door pulls our attention. My brother let's out a breath as the door swings open. The doctor I have known since I remember walks in. I hate him. He always treated me after my illness takes a toll, but the way he uses the syringe is way too violent, most times my skin bruises and turns green after he gives me the shot. He marches in placing his suitcase on the floor. He adjusts his mask in place, revealing only his thin cold hooded eyes and nothing else as always. In all my years, I have never seen my doctor's face, as it's always hiding beneath that mask of his. He bends down and opens his bag, his loud inhales of breath filling the quiet room.
"I feel fine now. I don't think I need the shot." I speak honestly. If he gives me that shot, I'll feel a knife in my arm, so I'm good without it. The doctor ignores my words, pulling a little bottle with a syringe. I swallow deeply. He pricks the the needle tip in the bottle and pulls at the liquid. I glance at my brother, my stomach crunching at the sight.
Without notice, he grabs my arm and roughly pulls me towards him bending over. He pushes my semi wet sleeve up and reveals my left arm, he slaps at it with his warm hand and like always, my veins aren't in sight. He squints and jams the syringe in no particular place and I grunt at the pain looking away. I really don't like him.
The doctor leaves after giving me three additional shots, that I never remember getting, but then again, I'm no doctor. I take a nap soon after in my blooded dirty clothes, not able to hold my consciousness, sleep eating me up.
After waking up, I look for Botan; finding him in the garden just sitting down beside Waffle, the sky above wrenching with thunder.
"Botan, any news about Tora? Is he okay?" I ask. He glances up at me straightening himself and brushing his hands on his thighs. When did he get so formal around me? did I distant myself from him by running away alone?... no, he started acting like this days before my escape. It's not me who's at fault.
"Why does a person like him concern you. He's not someone you should root for." He prods cheaply, annoyance present in his voice.
"I don't know much about him. I won't judge him with... Rumors." I offer. He raises an eyebrow as his hair blows with the strong wind.
"Rumors? Is that what father's words have become to you? Nothing but rumors?" He utters disdainful sadly. What's wrong with him? He didn't want to believe anything father used to tell us either, he used to spend time with me speculating things father must not have told us of the outside world... Why now he is pretending not to think so. He's the one who started speculating things about the outside.
"That's not what I meant. I'm just saying maybe even father doesn't know much about the outside, even if he used to spend time out, he probably doesn't know anything about the dot... And ghouls." I elaborate, trying to justify my words. I cross my hands around me.
"He doesn't know!? He spends most of his time outside this house, and you dare say he doesn't know? Are you stupid!?" He hisses below his breath, fists forming.
"I don't know okay. You don't know either, don't pretend to..."
"I know! And.. And I..." he cuts me off harshly jaw clenching as he stands up but he stops in his tracks, eyes wide and lips sealing shut.
"What are you guys doing?" I twirl at the sound of my older sister Reeve. Her orange hair cut short, sleeked back making her strong features stand out. She studies us as my brother stands there frozen, lips tight.
"Father needs you." She orders Botan quizzical, eyes darting between us. He gives me a glance and marches forward.
"And you, take a shower will ya." She mocks, the corners of her eyes crinkling in amusement. I nod and wait for her to leave. I sigh as it begins to rain, following them inside.
I take a shower and dress in fresh clothing; glad Tora's blood is out of sight. As ghoul...or hugal, he probably is doing okay. After all, days of bleeding and he still survived; a normal person like me would have perished.
Glancing at my bruised arm as I lay in bed, smelling my peach shampoo looking up at the ceiling where the camera flashes red. Whatever that shot was, it stopped me from smelling that awful smell. I'm sure I smelled that some long time ago... But I can't recall. It's just a distant memory. And no matter how many times I ask, no one in this house will tell me anything, and then I'll be called stupid. As if I'm supposed to read their minds. I sigh as I study the clock on the table next to my bed... it's midnight and sleep is nowhere to be found, thanks to the nap I got earlier this afternoon.
Adjusting my hair in a twisted bun above my head, a light knock on my door followed by the entrance of Heli puts a slight smile on my face. She mirrors me, coming towards me with drink in her hand.
"Is that frappe!?" I ask beaming at the sight of my favorite drink. She presses her smile again in conformation and hands it to me. Of course I gulp it down in seconds after thanking her thought of preparing it.
.
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My senses come to be. Feeling rumble stones against my cheek, my chest tight as my stomach lays flat on the ground. I flutter open my eyes squinting at the bright morning light, my breath coming short. The surface is way too harsh and stiff to be my bed. I push my hands beneath me and haul myself up. Grunting I sit up looking around rubbing my eyes... I'm sure I slept in my bed last night... why am I outside? I look behind me at the roaring sound of waves crashing on each other. Ahead I see the city... an ocean between us. I swallow standing up on my bare feet shaking. Looking left I find huge buildings, some crashed on each other, some half there and the other missing... I look back at the beautiful city that's on the other side... My heart beat quickens, fear trickling down my spine as the salty wind blows at my warm face.
Why... why am I outside the city? how did I get here?... why am I in the dot... where ghouls are supposed to be imprisoned.