Lilly felt so embarrassed by her blatant staring at the older gentleman that she could die.
At first, she didn't really pay any attention to him. As she sat and moped at her usual table over her recent discovery, she stared at the mahogany wood with random flowery engravings with a blank, mostly dismal expression. It finally got to her that she might be a stalker. How did that happen?
She had only wanted to show him she loved him.
She closed her eyes, pained by her stupidity.
She had been in love with Armando from the time of childhood to her adolescence. He was such a sweet guy. He loved joking with strangers, always making sure to put a smile on his friends' faces and being involved with the community as much as he could. He had always been sweet to her. At least until recently.
Lily is had tried her best to win his affections. When they had first met in kindergarten, she had been in the corner crying as a few boys had ripped the head off of her Barbie doll and had hidden it. She'd wanted to go home. Her mother had lied to her about fun because she already met such misfortune. Where were the new friends? Where was the great teacher? Mrs. Anthony didn't kick out the boys who murdered her doll. All they got was time out. They were let out after ten minutes. Her doll was still damaged and missing a head.
That's when Armando had come to the scene.
He had seen her hunched up into a miserable ball. She faced the toy cubby, holding the plastic table body tight to her chest in clenched fingers; hurting that she could not continue her make believe. How was her brother's G. I. Joe going to feel knowing that his girlfriend lost her head? How were the mini clay figurines that made up their kids going to feel? She had told this to the sweet, chubby cheeked boy who has asked her what was wrong. She wiped her nose repeatedly, not caring about how slimy her face was becoming with mucus and spit.
"A pretty girl shouldn't cry over those jerks," he had comforted her. She had paused in her sniveling, staring at this boy who wiped her cheeks. He wasn't bothered about her disgusting face. He lifted his shirt to wipe under her nose. He had scrunched up his knows when he pulled away and a line of snot followed. He laughed though, like all little boys did with gross things.
"Do you want to play with me and my friends?" He had asked her, his eyes sweet and inviting. She was entranced by how innocent they seemed. They reminded her of bunny rabbits, with their large wide and cute eyes. His were shiny, cool blue.
"But what about my doll?" She had asked him. She felt bad that she couldn't provide adequate entertainment.
"She can be a headless princess," he enthused. "That's still a princess, right?"
He looked a little uncertain here, as if he was scared she wouldn't believe him. Lily had paused, hesitating as she studied his outstretched hand. As she pondered over his words, she realized that his idea was not so bad. Just because her doll was missing her head did not mean she still could not be a princess.
"Sure," she told the boy. "That's a great idea."
She allowed him to pull her up. They stared at each other for a minute. She remembered that her face was still a mess and wiped her face on her shoulder trying to get most of the sticky mess off. The boy laughed again.
"We can go to Mrs. Anthony's desk and ask for tissues," he suggested. Lilly smiled again and agreed. Together, they walked hand in hand and enjoyed the rest of the class having fun making up stories about The Headless Princess.
That was when she fell in love with Armando.
Over a number of years, they would run into each other. They were casual friends who had a pleasant relationship. He was always checking in on her and she had gotten into baking small treats to share with him. Yet, their relationship had never become deeper. It was like they kept missing the mark. At least that was what it was like for her. Armando was part of the Del La Rossi family. They had been immigrants years ago who had struggled to find stability in America. Through hard work and determination, the predecessors--one Angelina and Marusio Del La Rossi--had created their own chain of famous Italian restaurants. They didn't stop there.
A few years ago, one daughter from the family had opened her own boutique. It had started as a small project, but exploded in popularity. Lilly and her group of friends had made it one of their go to spots. They had mannequins that were posted in a variety of poses that showcased their current trends. All the jewelry were made by local artists. They even expanded and had a small cafe added on that many shoppers would relax their before the after shopping.
Armando had a good life from the money his family made. Not only did he have good looks, he also had a large inheritance. That attracted a multitude of girls. Lilly never wanted him for that. The boy was the most down to earth guy she had ever met. Yeah, he would sometimes show ignorance because he never had to struggle in his life.But he was always open to learn about people's different backgrounds. His eyes would always light up in admiration for those who overcame challenges or shortcomings due to the lack of finances. He had never one pitied people. Or it he did, he was never obnoxious about it.
And the girls he dated. Yes, he went after the super model types. Which guy hasn't? But there have been times when he's dated those who were plump, who were of different ethnicity, who were less fortunate or even those who had a more more hands off approach. He didn't go after anybody, that wasn't what it was. He just gave those who interested him, those he got to knows chance. When he was asked why he would give those "weirdos" a chance, he would always answer:
"You never know when you'll find your true love."
That gave Lily courage to pursue him. Lily wasn't as bold as the other girls have been. Not only had she taken up baking classes and clubs to give him treats, she would ask how his day was whenever they crossed paths and she always tried to be polite to his mother and sister. She wanted to seem like a prospective wife.
It was her best friend Calen who told her she was a stalker.
"What do you mean?" She had asked him. Instead of answering, he began to ask her questions about her schedule.
"What do you do when we hang out after school?"
Not understanding his intention, she answered: "We usually go to La Floresca or at one of our favorite restaurants...?"
"And whenever we go to one of those places, what do you usually do?" He was being weirdly pushy.
She rolled her eyes at this. "I talk to you. I browse around. I ask Mrs. Del La Rossi about her family."
"You always ask her about Armando," he corrected her.
"Yeah, so?" She really wasn't getting what his point was.
Now he rolled his eyes. "As soon as she tells you about him or where he is, you usually drag all of us out of the store or restaurant to meet up with him. Doesn't matter if he has a date, doesn't matter if he's completing an errand. You have to be there."
"That's not true," she had denied, but for some reason, she felt dread fill her stomach.
"Lils," he stared at her. "C'mon."
She shook her head. "Stop it. I'm not that desperate. Yeah, I like him but I have some pride."
Calen scoffed at this. "Sure you do." He then turned and left, noticing his friends were coming out of school into the front, where they were waiting for them.
"We're heading to Pits and Powder to play some paint ball," he called back to her. "That's one of the few places Armando doesn't go to so I know you don't want to come."
She felt hurt at this. She didn't like going to the paint ball shop because the boys usually got aggressively competitive during any death match.
And she didn't like messing up her hair.
Calen had ignored her expressed annoyance and hurt. He waved casually back at her and had gone off with his friends. "Later."
Lilly stared after him. She wanted to follow him to prove him wrong. Then she convinced herself that she didn't have to follow after him and his crew to prove a point. She was not a stalker and she could just entertain herself. So that's what she did.
She went to La Floresca. There she ran into her friends but they had plans to get some outfits for a party and she really wanted to shop by herself so it wasn't long before they patted ways. She saw Ariana, Armando's older sister.
"Hey Ari," she said calling her by her nickname. "How's it going?"
For some reason, she looked awkward. Or was it just her being paranoid. "Um, we're doing great. The sales are steady and we have gotten our inventory finally."
Lily nodded. She remembered how upset Ariana had been when she there was a delay with the order.He was so sweet with how he worried about his sister's business. She had an idea to make an under the water theme featuring mythical under water creature. There was a current craze for mermaids and the Del La Rossi were putting their own spin on it.
"Um, Armando isn't in town right now," Ariana informed her. "He went out with Percia."
Usually, this would dishearten her. But in the light of Calen's earlier comments, Lily couldn't help but feel that same feeling of dread.
"I...I wasn't going to ask about him." She didn't really ask about him all of the time, did she?
Ariana nodded back at her, but she was still stiff and somewhat distant. "Okay, then. Just wanted to give you a head's up?"
They were quiet, the atmosphere feeling painful.
Ariana made an excuse about checking on the inventory--though with the earlier mishap, it may not have been that much of a lie--and took refuge in the back. Lily felt her face flush with the heat of embarrassment even though her body was cooled with the chilly sweat of anxiety. She stopped her browsing no longer in the mood and ran out the door.
She now was taking her own form of refuge in one of the local spots, a small dinner called Little Bennett's. She raked over every memory of her encounters with Armando. Was she a stalker? Did she really antagonize Armando with her pursuits that much? No matter how much she tried to think about it, she could not find evidence that she was deranged. But isn't that what a crazy person would think?
Groaning, she thumped her head against the table. She wanted to die.
After an hour of her moping--and finally giving into her waiter's promo to order something or get out--she just had to accept the fact that she may as very well be a stalker. She doesn't know when her obsession had become bad or when she began to make Armando uncomfortable, but she had obviously taken it too far. Wanting to distract herself, she had taken to studying the decorations at the restaurant. But having seen it over a million times over the years, she couldn't keep her attention still for long. Idly, she began to watch the people. One of them stood out.
Somehow he managed to blend in with his surrounding and also stand out. The bar he was stationed at was lit in the golden light of a small chandelier. The rows of alcohol lined up behind him were too hard for his image. But he was sipping on a glass of whisky with no problem in the world.
And he was staring at her.
Realizing that she may have been looking at him for too long, Lily averted her eyes. But she kept glancing at him from time to time. He never once took his eyes off of her. This should have disturbed her as he was a man in his twenties and she was only fifteen. But there was something familiar about him. Finally, it seemed he couldn't sleep her glances anymore silently as he let out a laugh and have her a small wave. Flushing, Lily turned away from him.
Why was she stuck on my him? How did she know him?
But as tempted as she was, she didn't turn back to him for the rest of her time there.