Lily tried her best to convince her mother that she didn't need to go to school. She gagged, spat, feigned dizziness and even tried to hack up a lung or two. No dice. Her mother saw through her charade and made her go through her regular morning routine in preparation for the school day.
"But what if I am sick and I'm just not showing symptoms yet?" She tried to plead to her more reasonable side.
Her mother gave her a stern look. "What's going on? You usually love school. Especially since Armando--"
"Oh my god!" Lily exclaimed, once again overcome by embarrassment. "I am not obsessed with Armando!" She ran to her room and slammed the door. Her mother stared after her, bewildered by her outburst.
Soon she was waiting at her regular corner with the other neighborhood kids. She scuffed her shoe on the gravel pavement, not looking at anybody. Ever since Calen made his comment, she felt more self-conscious. Did other people think she was a stalker? Was she that bad? Oh my God, did Armando think she was a stalker? The horror filled her whole being, freezing her in place. If it weren't for the bus driver honking she would have missed her ride.
As she rushed onto the vehicle, she almost tripped as she rushed down the aisle. A comment from one of the passengers caught her ear.
"Jesus, is she more of a spaz than usual?"
When she straightened herself and peeked in the direction of where the comment come from, she saw it was Jennifer De La Cruz who said it. The tanned girl looked at her with scornful look adorning her face. Her best friend, Miranda let out a short, mocking laugh as she leaned in to make a Skype comment.
"Well, she does like following that boy poor boy around like a b*tch in heat, What did you expect?"
She didn't need to say a name for Lily to know who she was talking about.
Lily scrambled to her seat, more prompted by the sharp order from the bus driver than of her own will to move her feet.
Did she really not notice that people were making these comments about her? How deluded did she get that she could not even notice her classmates, bus mates and even people around her neighborhood making sly remarks about her? Lily curled in on herself, pressing as tightly to the wall as possible as she took refuge in the back.
She went back over her memories of the last few weeks, hoping to figure out when she had really detailed her social status. As far as she knew, Armando did not seem to dislike her. He always greeted her with a smile and was willing to converse with her and see how she was doing. Sure, whenever he got a girlfriends, he set boundaries. But she was not the hideously jealous type who would harassing a girlfriend of a friend. And ultimately that's what they were, friends.
Should she review last Monday? Or should she go further back than that? Suddenly something jiggled in her mind. It happened last April, when she and Armando were talking about the test they had taken in Mr. Alton's history class. They didn't have the same periods, but they did share a few teachers and would usually discuss grades in passing or give encouragements for upcoming quizzes.
For some reason, Armando was more subdued than usual. He was picking through his locker looking for his textbook for his next class. Lily was rambling on about the trick question concerning the Huns and the Qin Dynasty. Then Armando slammed his locker in frustration. The action had caused Lily to jump back in alarm. She stared as the boy thumped his head against the steel door, letting out a angry breath.
"This has to stop," he muttered.
That was the first time she had been scared to approach him. She has never seen him act this way before. Swallowing back her nervousness, she slowly approached him and gently put her hand on his shoulder.
"Um," she started awkwardly. "The test was hard, but I'm positive that you'll do better next time."
She knew instinctively that it was more than the test, but she did not know how to broach the topic of whatever was bothering him. She rushed to push out more encouraging words.
"If you need any help--"
He shook his head, giving her a waned smile. "Nah. It's okay." With that he swing one strap of his back pack over his shoulder and walked off to class. It wasn't long before he got a girlfriend and their interaction lessened.
...Was...was that really when it started? Or did it go even further than that?
She really wishes she could ask somebody, but it was cringe worthy enough just coming to terms with her stalker tendencies just by herself. She didn't need to have someone else list all of her weirdness for her. Pulling out her phone, she sent off a text to Calen. He had texted her last night when she had gotten home, despondent and lacking appetite for dinner. It surprised her family as she had a voracious stomach. She should have used this as an excuse to stay home. She wanted to bash herself in the face. What she had done instead was force herself to eat at least a plate and a half of her usual portion before calling it quits.
Up in her room, she read Calen's text about how he and the boys got ahead in their ongoing rivalry with some other group he's always complaining about. It was when she got to his questions about her misadventures with Armando that she tossed her phone aside and just went to sleep. Which now brought her to the realization that she forgot to plug it the previous night.
Great.
Cringing at the percentage of the battery--how was she going to be able to make it with just 40% of battery life--she shot a quick text to Calen telling him that she would see him at school. For once she was happy that he had to carpool with his family and that they could not ride to school together. She didn't need to hear him crow he was right.
"Hey," someone called back to her.
Lily stiffened. She really didn't want to interact with anyone today until she had to get to the school campus.
"Are you okay?" The person continued to talk to her.
Lifting up her head, she saw that it was Kat, one of her science classmates.
"Um, yeah. Yeah." She nodded like a marionette. "I'm fine. Just...headache." Her stupidity was giving her a headache.
"See," she heard Jennifer start again. "Spaz."
"Stop it," Kat turned to the queen bee. She never liked bullying and was quick to call it out. Being tall also have her an advantage.
Jennifer huffed before crossing her arms and turning back in her seat. "Whatever."
Kat turned back to check on Lily, to see if the strawberry blond girl was really okay. But she had long since curled back against the wall before the conversation ended.