"Are you waiting for me to ask you or are you going to tell me why you stopped me from entering that room?" She sits beside me with one of her legs over the other and her arms are crossed as well.
I would have liked it more if she addresses me a bit more friendly like she did before she left their food table room.
"I didn't want to start trouble." Well, that is partly true.
"You're not telling me everything." I stare at my fingers as I move them over and around each other in an irregular pattern absent-mindedly.
I do it to distract myself from the images of what I saw in that room, of the words that were said in that room, especially the sounds that I heard in that room.
A tear slides down my face and I couldn't stop it and more followed.
Dana shifts closer to me throws her arms around me in what anyone would call an embrace and rocked our bodies back and forth slowly.
She doesn't say anything and strange enough her actions calm me down enough to explain myself to her.
A shaky sigh leaves my lips, I wipe my tears as I recall everything.
"I left the food table–I mean the dining room to look for you, but then I heard some strange noises, I was curious which is unlike me, so I–" I could no longer control myself and hold back my tears.
"Oh darling, shhh it's alright calm down, I understand what it's like to see the one you love with another." It's as though her words slapped me right in the face.
I stand up on my feet quickly in an attempt to get away from her because deep down I know she's saying the truth but how can it be the truth when I haven't accepted it? I hadn't even thought of it.
"It's not true, I do not love Dion." I emphasized the word "not" in my sentence.
It seems I am trying to convince myself more than I am trying to convince her.
But how can it be so?
Do I love Dion or is this some wolfchildhood feelings?
Something of mere wolfchild's play, love is a serious thing, it makes one blind to the truth, people can die for love, it is intense, it is beautiful, sacred even, it makes one happy and leaves intense joy in the hearts of those who experience it.
Doesn't it?
"Look Aadya, I understand that you are confused but believe me you won't be feeling this sort of despair if you didn't love him."
I shake my head as I continue to refuse to accept such a fate.
It is only someone you love that you have sex with, right?
Dion was putting his penis in and out of Aoife and I remember perfectly well that grandmother described such act as that of sex or as some would call it, making love. So that means, he loves her.
The event replays in my head and it's as though they are in front of me making love and I feel my heart completely shatter all over again.
He said to her, "Oh yes, I could do this forever with you baby."
Aoife shamelessly replied, "You don't give a fuck about Aadya right?"
And he said, "I don't care about her! I am only guiding and protecting her, now shut your mouth and take this cock in your cunt!" To which his waist began to move faster and his pelvic region hit hers harder, she began to moan and it turned into screams.
I don't know which hurts more.
The fact that Dion was or still is making love with someone that is not me in that room or the fact that I just heard him say he doesn't care about me.
I fall to my knees as sobs rock through my body, without caring that I'm lying on the cold snow outside, the snow doesn't seem to cheer me up in any way.
Not even snow can cheer me up.
Boreas! What did I do to deserve this!?
I thought he cares about me!
I thought he always came around me because he...
He doesn't love me.
But I do.
This is a fate worse than death!
Who falls in love with someone that doesn't even care about them in the first place?!
Boreas and Khione I feel so broken, alone, tired, drained, battered and I don't even know how to fully describe the pain I feel in my heart.
"Oh my poor Aadya, let me tell you a story. Come with me." She bends to squat next to my body as I lay in a manner that would not be considered as normal.
Her right hand stretches to me, and she waits for me to put mine in hers.
"I don't want to stand up from here, please leave me alone." She makes a sound, maybe a groan? I am not sure.
"No, I am not leaving you to pity yourself. Yes, what you saw is heartbreaking and horrible but you must be strong my darling, don't you want to be strong?" Her voice rises a bit above the soft tone she used on me earlier.
Am I pitying myself?
Is my heart broken? Or am I being dramatic?
Do I want to be strong?
I am not sure about the answer to the other questions, but I am beyond sure about wanting something.
I want to be strong. Being strong is better than this. Isn't it?
With that thought knowing that I am not sure what it is Dana would tell me that will make me strong but I want to give it a try.
It takes me a few moments of taking in deep breaths to calm down enough to get up from the ground.
With more effort than needed I lift my right hand and place it in Dana's, she doesn't waste a single moment, and she lifts me to my feet and leads me back to the bench we were both sitting on before my emotions became unruly and I ended up laying on the ground in the snow.
My eyes take in my surroundings for the first time since we stepped into what looks like a garden.
There are wooden bowls that have black sand in it with plants growing out of it.
Around us, there are other benches similar to the type we are sitting on placed in a random pattern in this open space.
They all seem to be made out of stone, and they all have similar carvings at the edges.
I look up to the sky to see the sun glowing and the blue sky calms me a bit more.
There isn't a cloud to be seen in sight, how does the snow not melt in the middle of summer?
Magic maybe?
Here we are both sitting next to each other in an open space surrounded by different plants and flowers, some I can recognize them, others I can't.
I believe she is trying to gather her thoughts and probably arrange some words that would encourage me.
She is very beautiful, her yellow hair seems to glow like the sun, usually, I don't like the sun because with it comes heat but for some unknown reason I want to touch her hair, it should be soft to the touch, it looks soft.
Her white eyes are shielded by her eyelids as she thinks, her arms are on each side of her gorgeous frame, and they hold onto the edge of the bench we are sitting on.
I wouldn't say she is fat, and she is not slim either, her breasts peek out her clothing at the top, the rest can only be imagined.
Her small waist is covered too unlike mine, they lead to wide hips and her big buttock is impossible to hide even though she is sitting down.
"What do your people call this type of clothing that covers your legs?" I point at her thighs.
"Oh, we call them trousers, don't your kind wear such?" I shake my head no.
We both fall back to being silent.
It is comfortable and in a lot of ways, I need it.
I wonder what Arcotos is doing? They took him away saying that they will feed him and give him a place to rest. I know he can defend himself if anything happens but with the way we are welcomed here by their princess, I know for a fact that no one would ever hurt the guest of a royal household member.
It just wouldn't make sense if they do except if they have evil intent.
"Look I brought you here to tell me what you saw–" She lifts her hand to stop me from cutting her off to which I comply and close my mouth which I had opened to tell her that I was going to tell her.
"Let me finish, I knew I heard Dion and Aoife in there fucking but I wasn't sure and it is not my business if they do. It shouldn't be yours either you know?" What is she saying? Does fucking mean making love to them? And how can she say that it is not my business?
"It is my business, Dana." I fold my arms across my flat chest as I feel my heart beat faster not in a good way.
She is upsetting me, I thought she was going to make me feel better by using encouraging words.
Dion is not just my guard, he is my friend he is more of a friend than a guard to me, and we grew up together so how is it not my business?
"Just tell me exactly how is it your business that Dion is probably still in there fucking Aoife?! Tell me?" Tears well up in my eyes once more. The image of their naked bodies intertwined clouds my mind once more.
"I'm sorry, OK? I am not good at sugar coating anything I say, so sometimes I may come off as mean, but I am not, I only mean well for you, I li–" she turns her head away from me to the entrance.
"Princess Dana, please your brother King Ambrose requests your presence." A man dressed in blue clothing, Dana called them trousers, and he also wears white clothing that covers his top.
In my opinion, he looks good with his black hair, tall, lean physique and his eyes look brown or black, I am not sure.
He looks young like Troilus but his mannerism in which he is carrying himself makes him look older in his years of age.
"Please tell him I will be right there, I just need a few minutes to speak to my guest, is it urgent?" She continues to address him.
"Alright your highness, I will let him know and I don't believe it is urgent from the manner at which he requested your presence."
"You may leave." He takes a quick bow with his head and quickly walks away and that is when I notice that his feet are covered as well by a black shiny material.
People here cover their feet, we don't.
"Look, I will be quick about what I am about to tell you, however, I want you to sit here and think about it, don't just think I want you to ponder on it, digest it and make the decision to make the right choice and vow to yourself to keep it." Her attention returns to me.
I try to understand what she is saying because her words are rushed.
"Do you understand what I am saying?"
I nod my head to tell her yes.
"Use your words."
"Oh I'm sorry, I meant to say yes." I quickly say so that she can get on with it.
"That's alright, now listen carefully."
I lean closer unconsciously because I am listening to her and I realize this but I don't move back.
If this will make me strong then I am very much willing to listen to her and do my best to apply it into my daily actions.
"When someone does not love you or give you the same attention, love or care as you give them then it only means one thing, and that is?" She waits for me to answer.
If someone doesn't give you the same care doesn't that mean they don't know how to show it?
"It means they are bad at showing affection?" Her hand flies to hit her head, and I am left worrying about her sanity.
"Oh goodness no. It means they don't care about you at all. When someone cares about you, they do their best to not hurt you, they reciprocate the things you do for them."
"So what do I do if they don't care about me the way I care about them?"
"You make it mutual."
"Huh? How?"
"You stop caring for them, stop giving them attention, stop loving them because they don't deserve your love and more importantly you don't deserve to love someone who doesn't give a fuck about you?"
"Give a fuck?"
"I mean care or love you back. If someone doesn't care about you, you don't care about them. So make it mutual, don't be a fool in love chasing someone who doesn't care about you. Think about it, I will be right back."