Chereads / Synthetic Heart / Chapter 4 - Chapter 4 : Vulnerability

Chapter 4 - Chapter 4 : Vulnerability

[Location: Xellene, Main Laboratory]

My neck was still sore by the time I gained conscious; we were at the lab again. I simply couldn't express it in words as to how much I hated this place.

 'I'd burn the whole place down if I wasn't tied up.' I thought as I was placed inside the White Room. The White Room, just like its name stated, was a room where everything was colored a blinding white, a literal nightmare of Hel's especially with all the artificial lighting. I could feel my eyeballs melting while a migraine crept its way into my head, this was making me feel awfully annoyed.

"Blake." I said, my voice strained as I tried to control my emotions. "The lights, turn it off. Now."

 "Oh, I almost forgot!" The intercom blared annoyingly, hurting my sensitive ears. "Sorry Hel", he apologized half-heartedly, like always. Thankfully the lights turned off almost instantly, making me feel calm again.

 "Thank you", I said, freeing myself from the restraints that were loosened automatically once I entered the room.

"You have approximately half an hour while I prepare the equipment." His voice filled the room. "Why don't you talk to my student while I'm busy?"

   There was a sudden silence coming from the group of researchers after his offer, it was obvious that his 'student' didn't like me. He was the first thing I noticed when I woke up.

 'A new face.' I thought, recalling how he looked.

Liam, he looked to be in his early twenties either we were the same age, or he was a few years older. His facial structure was similar to that of a mixed, like me. Many people would've thought he was visually stunning with his high cheekbones and freckles. I sat down on the floor as I glanced at the opaque glass window. I could sense body heat radiating behind it, there was at least two people there, both men.

Suddenly the intercom lit up.

"Um, hi." The voice greeted awkwardly; it was one I was not used to hearing. His voice was more youthful and deeper, oddly making me listen intently.

 "My name is Liam Wright. May I know what's yours?" He was strangely polite despite being around the same age as me, but I returned the favor. "What do I get if I tell you?"

There was an unsettling stillness that came from behind the glass window after my attempt in a joke.

 "I was just kidding." I revealed after the silence felt too long, wanting to hear his voice again.

 "You, you know how to make jokes?" He asked, there was still a slight hint of fear in his tone.

"I was taught so." I tried explaining. "When a person is unfamiliar with something or someone, telling jokes or being funny has shown that it could make them feel much calmer."

"But I apologies if it scared you." My heart felt weird as I said that. Why was I apologizing for making him scared when I was supposed to be feared?

 "There are no other names given to me except for Hel so you can just call me that."

 "I see." Liam replied, seemingly calmer now. "It's alright. I should be the one apologizing for making things complicated."

   There was a slight hesitation coming from both of us. "Is there any more questions you wish for me to answer?", I spoke first. "How about you try asking me?", he offered, there was slight amusement valid in his voice when he said that, it made his voice even more seductive.

"Are you afraid?", I replied, staring at the middle left of the mirror, I knew he was standing right there. "You mean my fears?", he asked sounding confused. "No, I meant me", I rephrased my question, "Are you afraid of me?". I expected him to answer right away but it took about a few minutes before he replied, "Yes". I had predicted that answer and yet, I felt very awful. 'Is this what they call disappointment?', I thought, recalling the books I've read when I was younger.

'A sense of sadness or displeasure caused by the non-fulfilment of one's hopes or expectation', the sentence used to confuse me deeply but now I feel like I understood. The room quickly fell silent as the awkwardness grew too until I heard yet another foreign voice, "Hey um, this is Max". "We met once at the cafeteria when you were getting detained for trying to kill Samuel who touched your neck".

"I remember you", I replied, "You were the only one cheering me on to kill him". "Yup, that's me", the cheerful voice said through the intercom, "Although I was quite disappointed when the guards caught you before you could do anything". "Where is Liam?", I asked, wanting to hear more of his voice, "Did I scare him away?". "No no, he's um, Liam's just feeling a bit sick", Max explained.

"I see", it was almost thirty minutes so I resisted the urge to ask anymore. "On the bright side", Max said to change the subject, "Blake's back". 'And let the pain commence', I thought sweating despite the room being extremely cold. "Oh wait, that not really good news for you, is it", he sighed heavily through the microphone, "I'm sorry, that was sooo insensitive of me".

"It is alright", I said getting up, "Thank you for talking with me, it can get quite boring here by myself". "No problem!", he sounded very excited, "I'm glad I could talk to you too". "Can you bring Blake to the intercom please?", I asked getting ready. "Ready for the tests, I assume?", Blake's raspy voice filled the room.

I didn't answer but instead waited for him to do the usual, sedating me before strapping me into the cursed electric chair. "I'll take that as a yes then", he said as I felt another stab of pain on my neck, immediately putting me to sleep before my body could even protest.

[Location: Throughout the Xellene building]

'Are you afraid of me?', her voice replayed itself in my mind over and over again. 'How could they sound exactly the same', I thought, getting chills as a result. The accident that happened back at Recel made me into an entirely different person. After that tragic I just couldn't mentally stomach working there anymore, how could I when it was my fault it happened?

It was as if I was spellbound when I answered Hel's question, "Yes", before I bolted out of the room, feeling nauseous. I was alone in the corridor when Blake showed up, his hands full of files and reports. "Why are you outside?", he asked, suddenly worried when he saw my pale face, "Hey you okay?". He attempted to pat my back but failed as his hands were full, "Did Hel use her telekinesis powers on you? I thought I gave her the pill already".

"It's not that", I managed to speak despite having urges to faint, "I-I just felt suffocating inside". "Then you should get some rest", he glanced inside the laboratory, "I'll ask Max to take you back". I just nodded as I leaned against the wall, my knees were starting to give out. Blake rushed inside and within a few minutes, Max came out with a very troubled look on his face.

"You okay?", he offered to let me lean against him in which I accepted, "Can you walk?". I nodded and we made our way through the corridor. "Let's go to the cafeteria 'kay bud?", he asked and I did not object. We made our way there and I slowly got better, by the time we were seated inside the deserted cafe, the nausea had thankfully subsided. "Yo, Hel is sooo hot", he declared as he placed the food on our table, "And so polite".

I nodded, helping myself to some fries, "I was stupefied when she said she was joking but her expression was so serious", I admitted, enjoying the food. Max nodded, eating from his plate of noodle soup, "Blake's trying to instate some human interaction lessons as part of her program". He looked at me smiling and said, "Since you're here, I'm guessing his gonna ask you to take charge of those lessons". "Why? Wasn't she supposed to be a war weapon?", I asked, stealing a piece of meat from Max's plate.

"Yea, but the senior citizen wanted to see if she was still capable of learning how to interact with people", he said frowning as he saw me steal his food, "But I'd say it's risky, now there's a higher chance for her to develop feelings too". "A machine like her can develop feelings?", I asked surprised by the sudden fact. "Of course", he replied nonchalantly, "And she's not a machine, she was born a normal girl. It was the prick of a father she had that turned her into that bionic freak".

The new information made me felt bad for being so judgmental towards her, I didn't know she had such a sad story. "Now enough of that", Max announced suddenly, putting his utensils down and glaring at me, "And enough of you trying to avoid answering my questions". "What do you mean?", I pretended not to know what he was talking about, "I didn't avoid any of your questions". He raised his eyebrows as a "Are you sure about that?".

"What happened back there?", he asked, genuinely worried about my health, "And I want the whole damn story, no lies". 'No lies', I replayed those two words in my head, 'I want to tell you but'. "I don't even know where to start", I confessed as I looked at my friend, "I fucked up so much I don't know where to start from". "We can start slow", he got up and sat next to me, "You know I'm here for you man, just spit it out".

So I did, telling him everything that happened, pouring everything that's been bothering me for months. I couldn't help but be thankful that there was no one but the two of us there, it would've been embarrassing if anyone saw me crying on the first day of work. He didn't say anything and just listened, occasionally patting my back to console me.

After I was done, we sat there in silence, but there was no discomfort, just a subtle understanding of my flaws. It wasn't after a few minutes of quiet when he suddenly stood up and said, "Wanna get some ice cream? That could help calm you down". I couldn't help but laugh as I wiped away the tear stains on my face, "I told you my biggest secret and that's all you have to say? I can't believe you". "That's the least I can offer man", he frowned, "You want one or not?".

"Only if you pay for mine too", I said as I stood up as well. "Careful, your stingy Asian side is showing", he joked, succeeding in making me laugh. I was grateful that he was trying to lighten things up after the heavy topic and strangely, I felt lighter as I walked out of the building, maybe I still had a chance to heal and forget...