"Oh wait Thomas!" she said suddenly. He loved the sound of his name on her lips.
"What is it?" he looked around for any threat that she might be seeing.
"I wanted to visit Jeremiah's grave today."
"What?" he asked, shaking his head in confusion.
"I know that's weird, but this is my first day not in my widows clothing. I thought I should cap off the gesture with flowers on his grave again," she said with a shrug, like she was a little embarrassed.
"Well, I can't argue with that," he said and turned Maddox around. They weren't too far from the cemetery. He stopped by a patch of wild flowers and watched her affectionately as she frolicked through them picking just the right ones for Jeremiah's grave. It was endearing to see how much effort she was putting into honoring his friend.
"You would have loved her Jer," he mumbled under his breath. Thomas didn't hear Jeremiah's voice like Sophie did but he did feel his presence and felt Jeremiah say, 'Now you can love her. Be sure to love her well,'
Thomas sighed. He didn't know if he could be the man she needed him to be.
She skipped back to the wagon holding an armful of colorful wildflowers and she was beaming with joy and happiness. It was so much better than the tears.
At the cemetery Thomas stood back and gave her space as she laid the bundle of flowers down and said a few private goodbyes. He leaned against the wagon and crossed his arms as he watched. She was playing with the key around her neck like she always did when she was nervous or fidgety.
"Thank you for loving me without knowing me," Sophie said to the jagged gravestone in front of her. She knelt down and touched the stone affectionately. She expected she would hear Jeremiah's voice again. Selfishly she was looking for more reassurance in her decision to stay or direction on what she should do here. It was terrifying not to know what the future held. She was truthful when she said she didn't want to go back. She didn't want to live out that mapped out life but that didn't take away the fear. But there was nothing. Jeremiah was silent.
She walked back to Thomas slowly. She wasn't sad. She was reflecting on the decisions she had made and the events that lead her to this moment in her life.
She crossed her arms and leaned against the wagon next to him.
"Thank you for everything today," she said with a sigh.
"When you asked me to marry you," he began. Her eyes shot up to meet his in astonishment.
"Oh Thomas," she said in protest shaking her head. "Please don't, I am so embarrassed. I thought we put that behind us."
She hid her face in her hands trying to hide from the moment.
"Don't hide, look at me," he demanded. "Please," he added softening his voice.
She dropped her hands and slowly looked at him. "Why are you bringing this up now?" her voice was weak and pleading.
"When you asked me to marry you," he repeated. "I was under the impression that it would be a marriage of convenience." He looked at her for confirmation.
Her eyebrows furrowed and she considered his question.
"It's true that I asked you to marry me as a favor but what do you mean by a marriage of convenience?"
"I mean," he chewed on the inside of his mouth choosing his words. "I want a real wife. I want a real marriage. I don't want a wife in words only. I want a wife who will love me and be with me," he looked at her for a reaction but she just stared at him waiting for more explanation. "I want a true wife. A wife in body and soul not just on paper because you need a husband. I want a wife to share my life and my bed with. A real marriage."
He said the last sentence in a whisper and Sophie took an involuntary step back and her eyes widened in surprise. No man has ever spoken to her so directly. She swallowed hard and her eyes darted around her as she searched for the proper response.
"I never intended to have any other type of marriage." She swallowed hard, overwhelmed by her admission. She felt vulnerable and exposed admitting it to him.
He considered her response for a few moments.
"And you thought we could have that kind of marriage?"
Sophie's face was turning more pink as she tried to find the right answer.
"I still think we can," she said meekly. She stared at the ground, digging her toe into the dirt.
Thomas didn't react at first. He slowly pulled a small wire out of his pocket and started twisting it around his pinky shaping it into a circle. He stepped in front of Sophie and using his thumb and pointer finger he lifted her chin up forcing her to look at him.
"Thomas," she protested and tried to push his hand away.
"Don't," he said. "Let me do this."
Her eyes lingered on the trees behind him but eventually she forced herself to look at him. His eyes bore into hers and she squirmed under his gaze.
"Sophie, not only do I agree to marry you," her eyes flashed wide in astonishment. "But I want nothing more than for you to be my wife. Will you do me the honor?"
"Thomas?" she whispered in wide eyed wonder. "Are you being serious right now?"
He nodded and slipped the wire over her ring finger. "Is that a yes?" he asked.
"Yes!" she blurted and flung her arms around him. He picked her up, wrapping his arms around this precious treasure.
"I can't believe you're actually mine," he whispered tenderly in her ear. She pulled her head back and rested her forehead on his. Their noses together, breathing the same air.
He set her gently on the ground and tenderly took her face in his hands. He leaned down and pressed his soft lips against hers. This was much different from her first kiss with him. She wanted it. She wanted his whole mouth in hers. Her stomach turned in anticipation and her skin burned under his soft fingertips. She had never felt such a welling of emotions and desire wash over her and she completely surrendered to it.