---
°Crawl inside my body, find me where I'm not ruined and love me there°
---
🎶How am I supposed to love you
When I don't love who I am
How can I give you all of me when I'm only half a man
I'm a sinking ship that's burning. . .🎶
Chapter Two
+ Caden's Point of View+
Breathing heavily, I pulled out of her loose hole, I took her trouser laying on the bed, I cleaned my dick clean with it. I threw it back on the bed as I dragged my jean up.
"Baby, why not stay the night" Rosa purred.
"Why the fuck should I?" I spat at her lighting up a cigarette.
"Don't be like that, Caddy baby. After all, we are together. You are my boyfriend" She said running her hand round her still naked flesh, Caden junior is not excited anymore.
Smirking, I look at her irritated "Bitch!, You are nothing more than a quick fuck. You're not even good anyway, your saggy tits irritate the fuck out of me" I spat at her. It was a lie though, her tits are anything but saggy but it's not Fiona's, so it's saggy.
"Oh, really Caddy. My tits are saggy! Fuck you! I bet it's the new girl's tit you want" Ria spat at me.
"New girl? Who?" I feigned dumbness dragging in the smoke of the cigar.
"The black haired girl!."
Fucking hell!
I walked up to her, grabbed her fake pink hair, wanting to uproot it from her empty head "You better shut the fuck up!" I spat at her.
She screamed, digging her nails into my hand "Fuck you, Cade" She spat tearfully.
I released her hair, walking to the door, I turn back to her smirking "You already did."
~.~
Club Blue was hot as ever as I entered it, it was bustling with life, sex, sin, alcohol and drugs. I walked down to Rye, I dipped my hand into my back pocket, bringing out some cash as I handed it to him, he nodded in understanding as he took the cash from me, handing me the white horse (Heroin).
I walked out of Club Blue with it in my back pocket, ignoring the naked bitches calling out my name. I was heading to my Apartment when my phone rang, without checking who it was, I picked it shouting "Don't fucking call me again Rosa!, infact I'm fucking blocking your number. I don't wanna fuck your smelly pussy any more, it ain't that good. Fuck off!" I was about to cut the call when I heard a voice I never thought I would hear again.
"Cade?"
"Danielle?"
"Yes, Cade it's me!. What the fuck is wrong with you. Are you okay, Please tell me you are not fucking high. Who the fuck is Rosa? Why did you even up and go like that?" She said rushing the words out.
Fuck!
I shut my eyes breathing deeply, they need to leave me alone, she need to leave me alone.
"Why are you calling me Danielle? Are you bored, Is Xavier, your boy toy not enough for you?" I said coldly.
She was silent for a while till she said "Fuck off Cade. Xavier left me" and with that she cut the call.
That fucker left her?. I always knew he was up to no good. I chuckled sadly, pot calling kettle black.
I stumbled into my Apartment locking the door behind me as I sat on the floor, I brought out the White Horse in my pocket. I grinned at it, my best friend. I poured it on a plain sheet of paper, brought it closer to my nose and I snorted it in.
I did it repeatedly, enjoying and relishing in the high. I'm no good for anyone, for Fiona my pink Vanilla, for Danielle my princess, for Kai my supposed best friend.
I'm no good for anyone, my mother is a prove of my uselessness.
----
"No daddy!" I scream
"What Cade! You're worthless. Are you going to go to those shitty cops again!" He says dragging my head, it hurts.
"No!, I'm sorry. I won't tell!" I cry out, trying to free myself from his hold.
"Oh yes, you won't tell. I'll make sure of that, you bastard child!" and with that he shoves my head down the toilet, water rush into every holes in my head. I fight it but it's stronger than me.
I reach out trying to scratch his hand, hoping he'll free me but that only annoy him the more, seeing as he dips my face harder into the water, my head hit the ceramic because of the force, I don't feel the pain much cause it's under water.
Fighting the water with everything in me, I begin to grow weary, as if sensing my weariness, he drags my head forcefully out of the water. I gasp, coughing out toilet water, I fall to ground as he releases my hair, hitting my bleeding head on the floor, making pain shoot all over my head, I grip my head feeling a thicker liquid over it as I curled like a ball, crying my eyes out.
"Take that as a warning, next time Victor would hold your hand and it would be worse than this. Bastard child! I don't know where Roseanna got you" I hear Da --- Vincent say. I wrapped my hands round myself as I cry and wish for Mel, her hugs are needed in moments like this.
°
"Fuck!" I groan as I sat upright, these dreams never cease, bringing back fucked up emotions of the past, making me relieve the fear of a 7 year old. I groan, digging my hand into my hair, I can still feel the taste of toilet water in my mouth. I got up from the bed, seeing that I have just 30 minutes to get to class, I made my way to the bathroom.
~.~
I walked out of the Law Lecture room, feeling content with how the class went. There are few things that can make me smile, one: Drugs, two: Law, three: Juice World and NF songs. The zeal and passion behind this never burns out, hopefully I'll make a very good lawyer, one that can't be manipulated like those shitty ones, maybe I'll be able to save a family, even though mine wasn't saved, hopefully though, hopefully drugs doesn't kill me before then.
I walked into the Apartment, perceiving the scent of Rice and. . . Vanilla. Only one person could be in my apartm --- our apartment cooking, Kai Parker, my roommate and best friend. A great cook, he's not been around lately, he's been sleeping over at his boyfriend's place, at least one of us is having a nice love life.
Speaking of love life, I met Fiona at Smallville and we started dating, it was fun and amazing. I met her friends Danielle, Xavier, Violet and Damon. I grew attached to them even though I knew I shouldn't. I was in too deep. I got scared and I broke up with her over text, that was the lamest thing ever. I didn't know she applied here. She opened up to me and I hurt her, I just hope I never see her again but considering the fact that we are on the same campus, it's going to be hard but I can try.
I opened the door, walking in, I heard voices from the kitchen. Is Kai with someone?. I told Kai not to bring anyone into the apartment, not even his lame ass boyfriend, Alaric. Its not like he listen though. I'll fucking break his neck. I dumped my bag on the couch, storming into the kitchen. "Parker! I fucking told you not to bring any motherfuc ---", I paused when I saw that it was girl, but her back was to me, she wore jeans that hug her fine ass, that ass seem familiar. . .Oh!, God No!. I watch as she turned, pushing a strand of dark curls off her face. I kept staring at her, unable to say anything.
"Manchester!" Parker said breaking our heated stare "--- I know you said I shouldn't invite any one over but she's really cool. This is Fiona, Fiona this i -- "
"I know him."
"I know her."
Vanilla and I said at the same time interrupting Kai.
"Oh. How?" Parker said looking confused.
"We met bac-- Kai! Put off the cooker" Fiona screeched moving hastily toward the cooker with Kai on her trail. I watched as they took care of whatever they were cooking.
I walked, more like speed to my room banging the door harsh, taking my frustrations out on the door. Fiona fucking Kings is always everywhere, there's no point running away from her, I should just try to accommodate her, but It would be weird considering the fact that I've buried my face in her pussy. We never had sex though, she was closed up and insecure, I wonder if she still is. I don't know If she will talk to me after all I did to her. I broke up with her over text!. So fucking cliche and stupid of me.
Taking a deep breath, I lean on my door. I can do this, I just have to be nice to her, I have to channel the inner gentlemen. I was just about to plug my phone when the scent of burnt rice hit my nostril. Fucking Kai! He can't cook to save his life. Why the hell is he cooking for Vanilla? Is he trying to impress her? Does he likes her?. He shouldn't, he's gay, -- or bi, I don't know --, so I probably should calm my balls. I plugged my phone walking down to the kitchen. I was disappointed not surprised when I saw the pot on fire.
"What the fuck, Kai!" I scolded harshly, making my way to the pot, to behold rice burnt beyond recognition.
"I. . .tried to cook for Fiona, I tried okay!."
"Oh, Shut it" I said taking the pot off, replacing it with a clean and empty one, I filled it with water after rinsing it, placing it on the cooker after putting it on. "Get the fuck out. You'll do the dishes when I'm done" I said to Kai as I rinsed the raw rice. I heard him grumble as he moved out.
I salted the rice, covering the pot firmly. I turn on the kitchen tap and got down to business. I know Kai won't wash it, if he should, he would wash rubbish, I'll have to re-wash it. I'm used to Parker's uselessness in the kitchen. I reach for the sponge but froze when I felt a warm familiar hand on mine.
I heard a breathless gasp as I withdraw my hand, I turn around meeting the widened eye of Fiona, no one spoke, we just stared at each other. I studied her, she looked different, radiant. She's glowing, her skin is fresher, her nose however stand out, I furrow my eyebrows as I noticed its the only odd thing in her perfect face. She's taller, her breast's fuller.
"Ehm, Hi?" She said, finally breaking the silence. I return my gaze to her face.
"Hey" I said bitting down on my lips, this is the first time we're talking in G.U.
"I'll take care of the dishes. You can go" She whispered.
I looked at her intensely, she dropped her gaze, staring at the floor. She looked so innocent and pure. She's too good for me, I feel captured by her. I placed my hand on her cheek, rubbing it affectionately as I tracked down to her jaw, raising her chin up, making her look at me. Her hazel orbs sparkle as it locked with my dark ones.
"Caden" She whispered, I almost didn't hear her.
"Babe" I smiled at her, feeling hypnotized, feeling like young Cade, the one with Mel, and just like that the spell is broken. °I'll get you° the demons in my head whispered my fath -- Vincent's parting words and that alone snap me back into reality, my reality.
Like it burns, I dropped my hand from get, withdrawing myself from her.
"Stay the fuck away from me" I said the first words that cane to my mind, her eyes widened and lips parted in shock and disbelief. I gave her a last hard look, if looks could kill, Vanilla should be dead.
I stumbled out of the kitchen, the dishes long forgotten. I caught sight of Kai skyping his boyfriend. I walked faster as to avoid confrontation from Parker. I stumbled out of the Apartment with some cash in my back pocket. I close my eyes, taking a solid breath, going to the only place I go to when my demons awaken.
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