(Wednesday the 6th of September)
"Ma do you know that there is a woman, and she is looking for you, she claims to be" she did not complete her sentence before I interrupted her.
"Shush" I said while using my index finger to cover my mouth.
I noticed that the door started to move slowly and I had to alert her that someone was trying to come into the room, I was shocked as I knew no one was allowed to enter my room unannounced, wait *except mom* and you guessed of right it was mom, but I still wonder what she was looking for as she opens the door slowly, maybe she thought that she was going to catch me off guard doing something terrible.
And so she understood my signal perfectly as she quickly shuts up her mouth as mom entered the room.
"Habi, what?" She stressed the habiba as she opens the door and gave me and divine a suspicious look as she looks at the both of us.
"Ma" I was confused as what she was doing made no sense to me, she was holding the door with one hand and half of her body was still outside.
"And what are you doing here you fly?, always perching on other peoples food" Mom asked and shouted at the maid
"M. a. a. a. a. a. I. I. I. I" she managed *ma I* to say as she stammered all through it
"Mom I asked her to clean the room, I can't stay in a dirty environment, you know that" I quickly covered up for the divine as I felt pity for her
"Really, so you cannot stay in a room that was cleaned this morning, you called her to clean this room, Habiba what did you want her to clean in this room, I don't know what your problem is?, you are a very stupid child" she said as she shouted at the top of her voice
Moms mood changed immediately after what I said, what was it?, or is it the word clean she is afraid to off or what?, I didn't get.
"It's okay, divine you can leave now" I said to divine as mom was trying to calm her self down
"But Ma, I am not yet done" she said with a nice look on her face
"Get out now" mom screened at her
"Yes ma" she obeyed as she parked her things and left the room
"Mom, why did you come in?" I tried to pretend that she did not just lose her temper at me, she seats down beside me as she puts her hands on my shoulders, she gave a sad look on her face that made it all clear.
"Habiba, I just came in to talk to you" she said in a very low tone
"Okay.... I am listening" I said as I nod my head repeatedly like a monitor lizard as my head did not seam to stop moving.
"Is this about the girl in the picture can I see them" she said as she brings her hands out to collect them.
"Yes sure" I bent down as I brought the box from under of my bed.
It took a while before she said a word as she carefully looks at the picture, it took her a while before she opened her mouth to say a word.
"Habi, you know she is a really nice girl, she was I meant to say, she was a really nice girl, the both of you grew up together as Best of friends, you called your self BFF, but I guess the last F was not needed as you both just could not be friends forever, my darling daughter, you both were unstoppable you were really nice and friendly to each others, but look at what life has done to your perfect relationship, one dead girl and the other without a memory of her Friend Maryam"
There was a brief period of silence again which was a bit awkward but I broke it with this horrible words that came out from my mouth.
"Mom what really happened?"
"I don't really know" she said it briefly, it was as if she did not want me to ask her any question.
She gave me back the picture book and said lightly.
"You can keep it back"
And, so I did I bent down to keep the book under my bed, which I did as she commanded.
"OK so how do you know that she is dead?" I said with tears in my eyes as I sat down back on the bed.
"Cos her mom told me so, and you also did"
"Really" tears were dropping from my eyes and I did not know how to stop it from flowing.
"Yes, you know we can go to visit them if you want to"
"Okay, tomorrow then" the tap in my eyes were turned and I don't think the switch is close by as I continued to cry.
"Bye"
"O.k" I said
She turned and was about to leave and then she asked
"Let me see the book"
"Ma, which one"
"The picture book"
"OK, Its..." I stood up from my bed and bent down to carry the box, it was a little under just for safety reasons I assume, but I just gave her the book just now.
"Here it is ma" I handed the box over to her
"Good" she said with a heavy smile that was very inappropriate for her face, she was just sobbing with me a few seconds ago.
She opened the box and scanned it with her eyes, she looked at the pictures one after the other as she looked uneasy, she did not show emotions as I thought she would, she just his them I guess behind that imperfect smile of hers I guess
"Once a happy friendship" she said it sounded really weird as she tried to smile
"Mom, are you going to be travelling with dad"
"Yeah, yeah I will be, why are you asking?"
" OK nice, nothing ma"
" any problem"
"Mom, you k. know y. you. u. could h. ha. a.ave been a.a.a little n.nice to t. the d. d. d. d. divine of a. a. .a g. g. girl" I said as I stammered almost all of my words
"You know we have to be strict on them to get respect"
"I. I d. d. don't t. t. think t. that I. is t. the w. w. way, m. ma"
"I will try not to be tough on her next time, darling"
"OK, mom I am really happy that dad decided to change his mind" I quickly changed the topic again
"Well, you are our number one priority"
I was already getting board of this conversation, it's about time you leave my room mom, don't you think so too.
"Yes I know mom"
Dear mom,
Or should I say dear liar, cos I can see the smile that you are giving right now, as if your happy that she is gone, well!
Who do you think you are, to just do and undo like that, who are you?
Don't try to mock me cos I am just a simple girl, don't think I am dumb, okay!
Good.
Yours angry baby.
Mom nods her head as if she heard what I was saying to my self, "neh" it was very impossible, I gave her the *you should leave my room eyes* even if nothing like that exists and even if it those I do not know what it was, but all you should know is that I made it right now, and I think I should be awarded for the most irritating look you give your mom so it would be called irrigated mom award and I think I just won fifty of those.
"Thank God"
Mom dropped the box on my bed and left as she understood perfectly what was going on hear *what really is going on here?* the naughty voice in my head asked and I had no answer for her.
"Allahuakbaru llahuakbar" the ladan started with the call of prayer, it was 7:58pm, so he was calling for isha.
"Habiba, let's go and pray" my inner mind said to me as I was seating on my bed as I was doing nothing but I promise you I will pray tomorrow by God's grace.
"Are you sure" my inner mind asked.
"Yes" please don't disturb me unconsciousness
"Michew" my unconsciousness said.
I stood up and went to the bathroom today I decide to take a long hot shower, and yes I said hot not cold hot or hot cold I mean hot hot, and when I said hot hot I mean skin burn hot, as I was bathing I noticed a scar on my lap it was a deep cut like a knife was pushed into my skin, it now looks like a wound, it looked like a small knife was used to cut me, I actually did not pay attention to my body before but now it is clear to me that this was a sign, I had no permanent scare on my body, and they have all started cleaning off, but this did not look like it was going to heal any time soon.
I continued to bathe as I had just started thinking about all the things that happened this week, come to think of it it's been one week since I got home, nice.
From the first day I steeped my foot in this house till today nothing surprised me like this past today from the dream to dad telling me about how he wanted to become a politician and so on, how dad was talking to the "wait a minute" how come he was yelling for an inspector of police, if actually they did the right thing, I am confused maybe he was thanking him.
"Really, is that how they appreciate people" I guess that's how dad does it, besides I should be thankful to him as he got me a job in a news station called NNB, and I am very happy for that, but that was the station that also wanted to do a report on my I guess, I hope they would not be able to recognize me.
I finished with the shower that turned into a bath as I used soap but still it was really nice, I tied a towel on my body and my head a so walked out of the bathroom, I entered the dressing room and I decided to wear a very light and simple night dress I finally picked up a gown and I looked stunning in it.
I came out from my dressing room and I removed the box of pictures from under my bed, tilting it down on the floor, something fell out from it, "wait is that" a new picture, yes it was actually a picture of me and a woman, maybe she was my original mom, is it.
I took the picture and hid it in a book that was in my book shelve, wait what if mom saw this?, I doubt she did, if she did then she would have varied the picture with her without me paying attention
"Alhamdulillah" I thank for making me see this day and this picture it was by his will.
Well I gotta say tomorrow is a big day as mom will allow me to go to the shopping mall on my own, and also I will be going to the news station the next day after tomorrow.
I lied down on my back as I covered my self with a blanket, I rolled and rolled on the bed as if I was running to catch sleep and sleep was running away from me, Which I finally caught, I was actually lucky to be alive and I would try to find Maryam and see how she is doing I want to know where she was and what the hell I am doing here.