The good feeling I'd garnered from that last exchange at school didn't last all evening, sadly. At 6:00 PM…well 5:50 to be honest…I was dutifully seated in front of my laptop, logged into Skype eagerly awaiting Ron's appearance. At 6:15 I started to grow frantic and bored, so I searched eBay for some new dresses to add to my watch list. I checked my Skype screen every few seconds to make sure I wasn't missing Ron's call—even though my speakers were turned up all the way.
By 6:30, I was panic-stricken. Someone had surely abducted him as he'd walked the three blocks home from class…or he'd slipped and hit his head on a rock beside the sidewalk…or somehow, way worse, he'd forgotten me entirely. Was it possible he'd gotten the nights mixed up? I went to get my phone so I could check our texts from the night before and see if we'd mentioned the date.
There was a text from Ron and one from Caelyn too.
Sorry, Maura, can't make it tonight. Will explain later, was all Ron had said.
Caelyn's informed me she'd be having dinner with a client, advising me to go ahead and eat without her. I felt completely abandoned…until I heard my Skype alert. He'd made it!
Quickly, hands shaking, I managed to minimize the eBay window. It was Merina calling. I couldn't help it; my heart fell, and I was wracked by bitter disappointment. But I pulled myself together and put a strained smile on my face before clicking on the answer button.
"Hi." Merina looked and sounded just as dejected as I felt.
"Hey, Merina." I put enormous effort into keeping the smile on my face.
"You don't have to fake it, Maura. Remember, you told me you were supposed to be talking to Ron tonight? I know you should be talking to him right now." She sighed heavily and that, combined with the mournful expression on her face, made my stomach turn a fearful somersault.
My tongue felt thickened by fright, brought on by the fear of what she might say next, but I forced it to form words anyway. "What are you saying, Merina? What's wrong?"
"Well," she started weakly, "I didn't want to say anything to you."
I started to feel a little sick. Dread balled itself up in the pit of my stomach, poisoning me. "You have to tell me, Merina. No matter what it is. I have to know."
"Okay." She looked down, took a deep breath and continued. "Shane told me that on Tuesday he saw Ron walking some girl to class. We both just blew the whole thing off and said it had to be innocent, but Shane said she was walking home with him the next day. And just now, my family went to get pizza at Tom's, and Ron was there…with her…"
"When he's supposed to be Skyping with me," I finished for her, dejectedly. "Are you sure it was the same girl?"
"Yeah, Shane went with us." She looked down again. "I'm sorry, Maura. I hate to tell you. I didn't…"
"No, it's okay." I could feel the tears start to burn in my eyes. "I'm glad you told me. Thanks, Merina." I didn't want to cry in front of her. "Hey, I need to go." I could barely get the words out. I felt as though I were choking on them.
"Okay, I understand. I'm really sorry, Maura." She'd started to cry herself.
I quickly hit the red End Call button.
Caelyn didn't get home until almost 9:00.
"Sorry, Maura!" I heard her call, from my bedroom, as she came into the apartment. "I didn't mean to be so late." I heard her steps crush against the carpet…which was strange…and it distracted me from my melancholy for a moment. In the next one, she opened the door to my room, bringing me back to harsh reality.
I'd already made up my mind to keep my troubles to myself. My reason was twofold. For one thing, Caelyn had been so happy, so different, after moving here. I knew she was finding more success with the clientele here in Vancouver, and I didn't want to spoil that for her, not one tiny bit. Also, if I brought up my own heartache, doing so would surely recall for her the loss of my father. I didn't want her remembering that at all, since she finally, somehow, had let go of the pain a little.
Secondly, I wanted to, literally, sleep on it. Every time I tried to picture Ron with some other girl, my mind responded with a memory flash from our time together. I could only see him with me. Besides, I was getting the story from a third party. There could've been some kind of gross misunderstanding. There had to be, but that still didn't mean I was happy with being put off, and with no real explanation.
"Maura! I asked you why you didn't eat." Caelyn's voice snapped me out of my meandering thoughts. Standing with her hands on her hips and a very agitated look on her face, I realized she must have asked more than once.
"Oh, sorry… I fell asleep reading homework." I'd laid an open textbook on the bed beside me, completely prepared to execute my cover story.
Her expression told me she was suspicious, and I wondered if my brief crying jag had left my eyes with telltale red or puffiness. I could see her contemplating, but she must've decided to abandon her concerns. "Must be exciting stuff. Come on then; you have to eat something before I'm going to let you go back to sleep."
I hadn't thought I could choke anything down until Caelyn carved off some of the very rare roast beef I'd stuffed into the crock pot that afternoon. After the first bite, I wolfed down half of the plateful, surprised at my sudden, ferocious appetite. The comfort delivered by a full tummy made all the excitement from the day wash over me, and I was drowsy to the point of agony. I allowed Caelyn to tuck me into bed, reasoning I'd certainly earned such a childish luxury.
As she ran her hand lovingly over my hair, I struggled with some memory from earlier in the day. Some vitally important thing I'd meant to ask her. But my brain wouldn't bring whatever it was to its forefront before I succumbed to sleep. The worry waited, lurking, until my consciousness faded.
In my dreams, I was sick. Morbidly ill, as I'd feared I might be for some time then. The quality of the dream was cinematic—it felt so real. Looking around me, taking in the bleeping machines and clear tubing running from the IV bag, I knew I was in the hospital. My tongue automatically ran over the places where my canines were missing. The beep from the monitor grew louder until the sound was deafening. I moved my arm up so I could cover my ear to muffle the sound. The rustle the movement of the blanket made blasted through my ears, and I cried out in pain. Something warm tightened around my other wrist, and I understood why I'd only moved one up in response to the too-loud noises. Someone was holding it, someone very warm.
My vision was blurred, and the light in the room was intensely bright. The same headache I'd been plagued with that afternoon pulsated through my skull. I made every effort to shut out the pain and focus on that face. The long dark hair told me my visitor was Ron before I could fully make out his features in the haziness that was my sight. When my vision sharpened, he smiled at me, but the softness in his eyes held the hard edge of worry.
"How are you feeling?" He kept his voice barely above a whisper, which meant he knew how sensitive my hearing was. Maybe he knew what was wrong with me. I was hurting all over…my throat burned like a bonfire, and the rest of me was so cold; I was sure they must be transfusing me with ice water.
I tried to speak to him, to demand a diagnosis, but I was too weak to utter a single word. Caelyn appeared then, cooing over me protectively and imploring me to save my strength and keep quiet.
My eyes were drawn to a shape in the doorway of my hospital room. There was someone there, a tall, hulking human filling up the space. He—it had to be a man given the size—was shrouded in darkness. I could make out no discerning features whatsoever. A nurse pushed past him, only because he moved to allow her entrance. Funny, even when she was right behind him, I could make out every detail about her. It was as if all the darkness in the room were reserved, solely, for the unknown stranger.
The nurse brought in a blood bag. Although I couldn't remember any accident or see any bandaged wound, my brain tried to ferret out a reason for a blood transfusion while she was hooking up the bag.
While watching her, my eyes switched focus, glancing over at the liquid in the bag. Deep, dark crimson. I couldn't tear my eyes away. My mouth was like dry desert sand, my throat the merciless sun burning over that desert at high noon.
A rattling gasp tore up through my chest, and my body convulsed. I was sure I was dying. My blood must've had some horrible disease tainting it, and the transfusion's purpose was to dilute the infection.
Ron put his hand on my chest to hold me down. He seemed troubled, but other than that, much too calm for the gravity of the situation. "Relax," he said to me with that same softness to his voice, "you just need blood, Maura."
He reached out and nodded to the nurse. She stopped what she was doing and took the bag down, placing it in Ron's hand. He tore open the bottom, in a practiced manner, and held the plastic spout to my lips.
"Drink, Maura. It'll help you faster this way."
As shocked as I was by such a turn of events, I complied. In all my waking hours, nothing had ever tasted better. And even though I knew what was happening was not what was supposed to be happening, in my dream I tore the bag from his grasp so I could gulp its contents down even faster.
I woke from the nightmare with a startled jump. The first thing I did was run my tongue along my teeth to ensure every tooth was still in place. All accounted for, whew!
Next, I called out to my mother, remembering too late I hadn't checked to see what time it was on a day that was reserved for sleeping in. I grabbed clumsily for my phone. When I hit the home button, I didn't even register what the clock said, because there was a text from Ron. I only had time to read a few words before Caelyn burst into the room.
"Maura! What on Earth is wrong?" Oh well, Ron would just have to wait… After all, he had kept me waiting all of the night before. At least he'd had the decency to show up in my dreams.
I looked up at her morosely. "Oh, did you have a bad dream?"
"Yes," I peeped out, weakly. But then I remembered why I'd called for her, and it hadn't been to cry on her motherly shoulder.
"Mom, did you find a dentist here yet?" I got right to the point. She looked surprised and didn't answer right away, so I pressed harder. "Mom, you promised to find out what's wrong with me. Did you find a dentist?"
"Maura, I don't think there's anything wrong with you…" She put her hand up to the side of my head.
I pushed her away. "Mom! I think there is. I think I need to go to the doctor!"
She stifled a bit of laughter. "You. Maura, you want to go to the doctor? The world���s biggest medi-phobe on the planet? The child who hid in the dryer to avoid a checkup?" Diversion tactics.
I crossed my arms and knitted my brow into stubborn furrows. "Yes!"
Caelyn creased her own brow and regarded me as if I were a little green man who'd landed in her daughter's bedroom. "What did you dream about? Come on, out with it."
"It doesn't matter." I latched on to my resolve with a death grip. "Mom! Are you going to take me to the doctor, or do I have to go by myself?"
When she saw how serious I was, my mother backed off the sarcasm and teasing. "Okay, Maura." She put her hand back up on my face, wanting to comfort me with her touch. I was a bit penitent for raising my voice to her and leaned into her palm. "But you know the medical system is different here. We need to have our health cards. We can't just go to the doctor here without them unless it's a true emergency."
I eyed her suspiciously, wondering if her statement held any truth. I'd have to Google some info on Health Canada later.
"They're on the way, Maura. My company got that all set up for us. As soon as they come in the mail, I'll take you to the best doctor in the province, okay? I promise." She moved to hug me close. "You're my daughter; don't you trust that I'd take perfect care of you? Haven't I always?"
She had me there. "Yes, you have."
"Okay then. You check the mailbox every day and let me know when they come. In the meantime, I'll ask around at work and get a recommendation for a dentist. Does that make you happy?"
Even though I still felt as though she were diverting me somehow, I nodded.
"How about some breakfast? I'll cook!" Caelyn and her well-played diversions. My stomach grumbled loudly in response.
I'd actually forgotten about Ron's text for a little while. The smell of breakfast sirloin and eggs took over the other half of my brain that wasn't consumed by the fear of what was happening to my body. I only got halfway through breakfast, though, before thoughts of his face pulsated in my head. I ran for my phone, hoping Caelyn would forgive my having it at the breakfast table.
"Ron texted last night, and I never got to read it," I said in explanation as I slid back into my chair.
She looked at me with disbelief, as if it were impossible for such a thing to happen. I ignored her and punched in the number code to unlock my phone.
Sorry again Maura. Had some stuff I had to take care of. Was late for rehearsal. We played til late. Hope you sleep good! : )
He'd sent the text at midnight, so at least that part appeared to be true. I hated being suspicious. But still, I had to keep turning it all around in my head. If the girl wasn't important to him, why did he fail to mention her? Was Shane sure it'd been Ron in the pizza place with some other girl? But how could he mistake his best friend from childhood, especially in a town as small as Indiana, Pennsylvania? Did Ron know Shane and Merina had seen him with the other girl? Or was he insulting me by outright refusing to care whether he'd been caught? Most importantly, who was she??
He hadn't said anything about when we would talk again. Did that mean our next regular date night was the coming Tuesday, as usual? The fuse of my quick temper was suddenly lit. My pride was hurt, since I seemed to be the only one who'd been left in the dark, and I still would be even then if not for Merina. That wounded pride decided that, until he could offer more of an explanation, I'd refuse to text him back. I felt another sharp spike of pain in my head as I committed to my plan. That only served to make me angrier, so I took my phone and threw it into a dresser drawer, burying the small rectangle beneath a thick pile of clothes. I forbade myself from looking at the screen until it was time for Ron to be playing at his gig that night. That would prevent me from being weak and looking like a fool by avoiding the temptation to send some whiny, needy text.
I actually found it easy to keep busy. I cleaned house like a whirlwind, getting everything done in record time while Caelyn worked in the corner of her room which served as a temporary office. There was the matter of a boss battle I'd been having a hard time with to be resolved. I crossed that off the list…with a few helpful suggestions from the internet. Caelyn had picked up the final DVD of Vampire Knight—an anime I'd fallen in love with—so I finished watching that. Later in the afternoon, I even managed to talk Caelyn into a game of Monopoly. I'd only had one moment of weakness when I'd opened the drawer to put away laundry, but I hadn't reached in to retrieve the phone. I couldn't help but be impressed by my strength of will, because Ron had been in my thoughts all day.
When 8:00 PM came around, and Caelyn was popping corn for our movie night, I finally allowed myself a peek at the phone. Ron hadn't texted once… There were six texts spread over various parts of the day.
Maura did u get my text?
Are you mad at me?
Is something wrong, why aren't you answering?
Hey I wanted to ask you if you want to do date night tomorrow night? I don't want to wait til Tuesday.
Maura, are you getting these???
Okay, it's almost gig time. I don't know if something is wrong with your phone. I hope you're not ignoring me. I need to know if you got the text about tomorrow night. If you get this let me know. Wish us luck! I love you.
I immediately felt wicked for not answering. I reasoned that if Ron said he loved me there couldn't possibly be another girl he was going out with. Before going to join my mother, I texted him back.
Sorry too! Busy cleaning, gaming and watching anime. Trying to get mom to take care of some stuff. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, it's a date! Love you too & hope the gig is going great!
My giddiness after receiving his last text persisted all evening, causing me to miss much of the movie and inspiring Ron-filled dreams—of the non-scary variety that time—all night. The next day, I made myself get caught up on homework, which I found to be a weak, unsatisfying attempt at distraction. But I buckled down and completed every assignment. I still wanted to get into college and was hoping to go back to Pennsylvania and take classes with Ron if he didn't get to transfer to Vancouver.
We'd agreed to 'meet' at 3:00, allowing my late-night rock star plenty of time to sleep in. Caelyn ignored me completely when I started bouncing off the walls, changing clothes and doing my makeup in preparation. After finally learning we'd missed each other Friday night—I'd blamed a long-running rehearsal—she wasn't about to deny me. She felt no desire to suffer my waiting until Tuesday to see Ron.
He did show that time…but he didn't get to stay.
For fifteen minutes, I bit back the question about who the girl at Tom's Pizza had been. We talked mostly about the gig. It'd gone very well. Everyone had loved the music, and the frat was even interested in recruiting Ron. That seemed to make him excited, so despite the stories I'd heard about hazing and out-of-control parties, I trusted Ron to make the right choices and expressed happiness for him.
I was gathering the nerve to casually ask him what he'd been doing Friday night when he'd postponed our date.
He must've read my mind, because he said, "I wanted to talk to you about Friday."
Before he could explain, a loud crash sounded from somewhere in his house. "Mom?!" he called out, alarmed.
"Ron, what's wrong?" I could feel a flurry of wings inside my stomach, like my body knew something wasn't right before my mind could receive confirmation.
"Hold on, Maura!" Ron jumped up so fast; his chair fell over. I could hear his footsteps pound down the stairs at a run. Then, I heard shouting, but I couldn't make out the words.
The next couple of minutes stretched and dragged, lasting much longer than they should have. Ron came tearing into the room. He leaned over to put his face too close to his laptop's webcam. "Maura, it's Mom! She collapsed! I have to get her to the hospital!" The mix of panic and fear on his face broke my heart.
"Go, Ron!" When he didn't move, I screamed, "Go!" He didn't bother to turn off the Skype connection. I watched him disappear, not even aware of the tears streaming down my cheeks.
When I could again, I walked numbly to the bathroom to wash my face. I tried to stifle my sobs, but Caelyn must have heard me yell because she stopped me in my tracks.
"Maura! What's wrong? What's happened?" She had both hands on my shoulders, trying gently to shake an answer out of me. She did a double-take when she looked at my face.
"Ron's mom. He had to take her to the hospital. She's really sick." I looked into her concerned eyes, her troubled face. I knew how I would feel if the same thing were happening to Caelyn. It doubled the pain I was feeling for Ron, but at the same time, I was selfishly happy it wasn't my mother who was ill. I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her close. My sobbing intensified.
"Oh, Maura, it's okay. I'm sure she'll be okay. Ron will take good care of her; you know that. Come here and let me clean your face off."
"I can do it, Mom." I pulled back, but she wrapped her hand tightly around my wrist and dragged me toward the linen closet. "I have a washcloth in the bathroom," I protested.
"Just come here," she cooed at me in her most soothing tone. I watched her dig through the shelf, bypassing the stack of white cloths, until she came to a black one folded up near the bottom.
"Mom…"
"Shhhh, just come here." She pulled me toward the bathroom door but stood right in front of me, blocking my entrance. I felt dizzy, and the world seemed tinged in red. I worried momentarily about that, but thoughts for myself passed as Ron and his mother filled my head again. We could take care of me later.
Caelyn ran the water until it was warm, so the cloth felt good…comforting…on my cheeks. She dabbed and rubbed down my face and under my chin. I wondered briefly why she was rubbing at my shirt too but was too worried to think very much of it.
"Let's get you into some comfy pajamas, okay?" She was already pulling my shirt up over my head. She tossed the garment into the hamper and guided me into my room. "Try to stop crying, okay? It won't help anyone, and you're thinking the worst before you need to, don't you think?" She pulled out a fleecy top with matching bottoms and laid them on the bed.
"Yes, I guess so. But she has cancer; what if…" I almost started crying anew.
"Don't assume the worst, Maura. The best thing you can do is think positive thoughts and send them their way. Do you think Ron would want you crying like this?"
"No, I guess not…" I pulled on the top, leaving my bra on since Caelyn was in the room. I stood waiting with the pants in my hands, letting her know I needed my privacy.
"Are you okay now?" she asked, retreating.
"I think so." I almost told her about the bad things I'd been thinking about Ron and how horrible I felt about them all then. But I didn't. When she was out of the room, I picked up my phone and texted.
Please let me know how she is as soon as you can!
I didn't hear anything the rest of Sunday. I slept very little, and the small amount I managed to get was beleaguered by tossing, turning and plenty of blanket kicking. Going to school didn't even seem like a possibility—how could I possibly concentrate on anything? But I labored through the mechanical motions of getting ready, knowing Caelyn wouldn't approve of my staying home until I could hear word from Ron about his mom. I texted before I went to school, asking how she was, hoping I wasn't being too much of a pain while he had so much going on. I wondered if he would go to class.
I didn't dare pull my phone out to check for texts during class. Caelyn had threatened service cancellation if I were caught using the device during class time. Between periods, though, my eyes were glued to its screen, as if I could magically make words from him light up the glassy surface.
Finally, between second and third periods, a text came through.
Sorry, was up almost all night. Mom is okay, but she is too weak to go home. Going for a shower now, but staying at the hospital this afternoon. Talk later.
She was so ill that he was skipping class. I wished, for the thousandth time, I could fly to Pennsylvania to help him through all the grief. It was a horrible day. I was miserable, being apart from Ron and, because I let my misery distract me, I was forced to confess I didn't know the answer to my history teacher's question…a first for me. I blushed as at least half the class laughed at my blunder. I wished the floor would open up and swallow me, banishing me to some dark, quiet place away from everyone, so I could wallow in my troubles without interruption.
I slithered off to lunch, dragging my feet while imagining Ron all alone if his mother didn't pull through. Would Caelyn let me fly back to at least help him through the funeral?
"Maura!" I was yanked, violently, out of the construction of an elaborate and desperate argument for my mother by the far-too-cheerful greeting.
"Oh! Susie!" I'd completely forgotten I had someone to eat lunch with that day.
"Did you forget?" She looked a little hurt when she asked, so I quickly lied to spare her feelings.
"Oh no, you just caught me in a moment of deep thought." At least part of that was true. I forced a smile for my first—possible—Canadian friend. I was overly cautious of people after the swimming-hole incident, which had only occurred four months ago.
There was something inviting about Susie, though. Her oversized eyes had an innocuous openness to them. Her smile was sincere in a way Katie's had never been.
"Are you okay?" Concern. Real concern. I could see the difference, since someone authentic stood before me at present.
"I guess, just worried and distracted… I might not be great company." I said, although I might have gotten down on my knees and begged for a distraction from my disquiet at that point.
"Come on," she persuaded. "I guess I'll just have to cheer you up!"
Susie had packed her lunch, but I knew the cafeteria was serving pizza that day, so I bought. The slices were lacking enough meat, in my opinion, but I couldn't imagine ever turning down pizza. My new friend even insisted I take her vanilla pudding cup as a cheer-up offering. I loved vanilla pudding almost as much as pizza…or beef. She must've been psychic. The smooth, sweet texture was comforting, sliding into my empty stomach. Susie watched me eat my treat, quietly.
Waiting politely until I'd finished, she didn't try to talk to me until after I'd followed dessert with the main course. "So…you having a hard time living in a new place?" she queried.
"You could say that," I answered, as I wiped the pizza grease from the corner of my mouth. I looked into her eyes for a moment. The interest was heartfelt; there was no lurking, hidden agenda like the kind which had always presented with my false friends back home. I realized then; I'd lied to myself so I could overlook the obvious. Her brows lifted in anticipation of my answer, inviting me to spill my guts.
And that was just what I did. I told that stranger everything for some strange reason. Wasn't being able to trust her no more than a hunch? Nevertheless, Ron, his sick mother, my increasingly busy mother…even a few tiny details about my health worries…all came spilling out. After I was finally done, it was pretty much time for classes to start again, and I was in complete shock at the amount of personal truth I'd unloaded on a girl I barely knew. Somehow, she didn't feel like a stranger, though.
She'd listened carefully, nodding from time to time, but never interrupting. "Wow, you really needed that pudding," she said, putting her hand on mine. Her eyes grew even wider. "You're so cold! I hope you aren't really getting sick." I could hear the compassion in her voice, but I automatically withdrew my arm from the tabletop. I ran my other hand over the one she'd touched. It felt to be a perfectly normal temperature to me…warm even. I only had time to say, "I hope not either," before the bell rang, calling us away from the present conversation.
"Maybe you'd like to join more of us tomorrow?" She pointed toward a small group of students abandoning a table nearby. None were wearing football or cheerleading attire, to my relief. The awareness sunk in that she'd abandoned her own friends to have lunch with me. I knew she'd probably done that because she saw I was still settling in and didn't want me to be overwhelmed by a large group. I was in awe of her thoughtfulness. It left me speechless.
"Maybe later in the week?" She mistook my silence…and the slight drop of my jaw from the shock.
"No! No, that would be…okay." At least I was being genuine too.
Susie gave my arm one more squeeze. "I have to run to Biology. I'm sorry! But we'll talk tomorrow, okay?" I nodded. "Oh, and I'm really sorry about Ron's mom. I hope she gets better."
I watched her walk away, making myself late to geometry and facing more embarrassment when the teacher commented on my tardiness…but I had a new hope in my heart, a small bit of happiness to take up residence with all the turmoil.
The rest of September melted away, the days conglomerating into a slow-running stream of stress, loneliness…and the occasional happiness.
Ron wasn't around much. We had maybe three 'dates' the rest of the month. I was mournfully stung that he never mentioned the card and guitar songbook I'd sent him for his birthday. But he had good reason for being distracted. His mother's condition had deteriorated the night of her collapse, so she was in the hospital indefinitely. Months of chemotherapy, and the ensuing nausea, had left her unable to keep down much of anything. She needed several weeks of IV-fed nutrition to get her strength back up.
As if being her sole support system wasn't enough stress on poor Ron, he had a ton of assignments to complete. His mother had insisted he keep up with his coursework. He'd told me he was able to work on them while sitting in her hospital room, watching over her while she slept. Added to all that was the sad situation that gigs had become a necessity. When his father had passed away, the victim of a car accident, his mother had wisely paid off the house and banked the remainder of the life insurance benefit. During her illness, they'd lived on that money, but the nest egg was almost depleted. I'd begged Ron to let me ask Caelyn for help, but he'd stubbornly refused. In fact, he forbade me from saying a word to her, explaining that the frat had passed the word around about the band. Death Moon had bookings every Friday and Saturday night until the end of October. They'd be playing at not only other fraternity house parties, but even some of the bars in town—one of the bar owners, an alumni, had shown up at the last gig. Even though there was no house payment, Ron still had to cover the electric bill, groceries and gas. Luckily, playing in the band was taking care of that for him.
A hospital bound—possibly even dying—mother, a full-time college schedule, weekend-filling gigs and weeknight rehearsals in preparation for those gigs. He didn't have time for me, and I knew it. The few times we did talk, I never complained, never looked sad, never mentioned that other mystery girl—who was killing me inside—never mentioned any concerns I had about my own health. I tried to support him as much as possible, radiating joy through every pore while in front of the computer screen. The dark shadows under his eyes and tired pallor of his face broadcast clearly; Ron couldn't handle even one more infinitesimal crisis. I texted him happy thoughts and encouragement, even when I knew he wouldn't be able to answer.
I filled in my time as best I could. There was the housework, less engaging in the one-level apartment. My homework was always, dutifully done. I even went on a few outings with some of my newfound friends.
Susie had introduced me to the rest of her small group, and they were all very nice, but from the start, she and I seemed to have a special bond. Besides, I hadn't wanted everyone else to know what was going on in my mess of a personal life, so when Susie and I ventured out, it was almost always alone so we could talk. It was an enormous relief to have someone of my own age to confide in—who occupied the same room.
Susie had come into my life at just the right time. Caelyn became progressively busier at work. She had dinner meetings several times a week, sometimes even on weekends. I was proud of her success and the happiness it brought her, so I never whispered a word about Ron or let on that our calls had diminished. Whenever she asked about his mother, I always said she was "doing much better now."
Caelyn had loosened up a bit, but when I went out, I still had to be in by 8:30—11:30 on weekends—and I always had to call my mother at least once, no matter where I was. She was obviously worried about my health too. She'd taken to monitoring my temperature at least three times a week and was still watching my diet very carefully. Still, when I badgered her about not having a dental appointment yet or complained that the health cards were never going to show up, my mother kept telling me to be patient.
I was incessant, asking every day, when finally, at the beginning of October, she slapped an appointment card down on the counter.
"There, Maura!" she exclaimed. "You officially have an appointment with the dentist. Happy now?" Caelyn didn't look very happy.
I looked at the card and frowned. "November! This isn't for a month! I have to wait another month? Mom!"
"Oh my god, Maura!" She rolled her eyes at me. "It was the best I could do! Everyone is booked up with school starting back, if they're even taking new patients at all. It's for the first of November. It's not really that long to wait."
"Mom…" I started to protest anyway.
"Maura Maxine!" Her emerald eyes blazed, and I took a step back. "Are you in any pain?!"
"Well…no…"
"Does it hurt to eat? Do you bleed when you brush?"
"I'm worried about them falling out…" I absent-mindedly put a finger under one of my canines and wiggled.
Caelyn smiled at that. Her tone was full of amusement. "Have you been eating too much junk before bed? Stop placing stock in bad dreams, Maura; your teeth are not going to fall out." She reached up to playfully wiggle the tooth I was playing with.
"Ow!" She drew her hand back in a flash, and I had a strong sense of deja vu. I saw a ruby bead on the tip of her finger. The strong desire to snatch her finger back, so I could take the blood away with my tongue, filled my whole body… I swallowed hard and restrained myself.
"Well, they're certainly sharp enough!" She raced for the bathroom, and I thought I heard her mutter under her breath, "I've got to stop doing that!"
I followed, running the tip of my own finger back and forth under first one canine and then the other. Nothing, not even a scratch.
"Mom?" I stood in the doorway, watching her run cold water over the wound. My voice was shaky.
She smiled back at me, unshaken entirely. "It's nothing, Maura. I just reopened a nasty paper cut I got at work this morning." She quickly wrapped a Band-aid around her fingertip. "Hey, what's for dinner tonight?"