Trent was gulping down an enormous piece of pizza. In two bites, half the slice disappeared. I chewed quietly at my own, savoring the flavor of the cheese as I worked my nerve up to ask my favor.
"Ummm, Trent?"
"Yeah, Maur?" The words were all garbled around the food he still had stuffed in his mouth. His appeal grew thinner every day. I supposed that was why he'd inherited such good looks. Fate had to give him something.
"Are you driving us home today?" I asked timidly. Everyone in our little lunch clique seemed suddenly interested, looking up from their food and turning away from previous conversations.
"Aw, sorry, Maur." He'd taken to shortening my name like that lately, and I found the habit far less than endearing. "I have football practice."
As usual, Wendy—ever the instigator—read more into my request than a simple ride home. Her eyes, a lighter, less-attractive green than my mother's, flashed as she asked me, "Oh…was there somewhere you were going to ask Trent to go?"
I blushed immediately, not helpful for any denial I might try to offer. I decided the truth might be the best way out of what Wendy was trying to insinuate.
"Well," I began, "I wanted to get a present for my mother, but I'd have to go to the other side of town near the mall."
"You could take the bus," Katie offered, a big helpful smile spreading across her face.
I'd thought about that already. "I don't really have time. I have to be back to make dinner." Transit would mean the time for the trip would be doubled, and I wanted to surprise Caelyn on Saturday morning. Her suspicious nature was easily provoked, and it was next to impossible—most of the time—to pull the wool over my mother's eyes. She would know something was up if she walked in the door and dinner wasn't on the table. That had never happened before. She would probably push until she pulled a confession out of me, which would give her plenty of time to talk herself out of my present.
Of course, my worries summoned a new torrent of laughter from Wendy and several other girls at the table. Once again, as she'd done several times already, Katie shot them a look which silenced their cackles almost immediately. Wendy was so evil; I wondered if it was really worth being around her to hang out with Katie and Trent. I was sure Wendy loved having me around, though, as I seemed to be a constant source of amusement for her. She thought nearly everything I did or said was comical in some way. I would be sure to keep as far away from her as possible on Saturday.
"Sorry, Maur," Trent said, right in the middle of taking another bite. "Maybe Katie can ditch cheerleading and take you? I guess I'd let her borrow the 'stang."
"No, that's okay." I didn't want to be a bother to anyone. "I can go some other time, really."
"Hey, we could take you tomorrow, right, Trent?" Katie grinned at me.
"Yeah, sure." Trent's attention was mostly focused on nabbing the pizza from one of the other football player's plate.
"Hey!" the other guy, half Trent's size, shouted in protest, trying to grab his lunch back with no success. Trent already had half the slice in his mouth, chewing with a wide, amused grin on his face.
"That would be great," I said, without much excitement, to Katie. Oh well, the delay couldn't be helped, and I should be grateful someone would even be willing to drive me. I put more effort into smiling back at her.
The bell rang, and we all moved to take our trays to the dishwasher. I was trying to imagine whether Caelyn would be happy or not about my intended gift, so I really wasn't paying much attention to where I was walking, my eyes focused on the half brownie I'd left uneaten in the corner of the tray. I jerked my head up as I crashed into the back of the boy in front of me, watching in horror as my opened, but untouched, milk carton tipped over to soak the back of his dark-blue shirt from the middle of his back to his waist. It would be my luck that Wendy was right across from me in the second line. She doubled over with laughter, dropping her own tray to the ground with a resounding clatter. Every head in the lunchroom turned in our direction.
My face was so hot; I felt like my head might explode. I wanted to run away…desperately. But my feet remained frozen to the floor, my face a mask of horror, waiting for the wrath of the human in front of me to rain down on my head. He turned around slowly, his large brown eyes full of shock. I'd seen him around the school. A senior. My heart bounced out palpitations of fear.
Despite that, I couldn't help but notice how beautiful he was.
"Wow…that is cold!" Not exactly what I was expecting, but he could have said way worse.
"I-I-Oh, my god, I'm so sorry," I stammered.
He smiled…smiled…at me then. One of those smiles you know the person is putting their whole heart into. His brown hair fell over his forehead to one side in careless bangs; the rest was long, tied into a ponytail that fell halfway down his back. Before he'd turned around, I hadn't missed that the ends were also milksoaked, like his poor shirt. He had full lips that were the perfect shade of pink, like the inside of a seashell. They were spread wide in that cherubic smile of his. Despite my terror, I was instantly smitten.
I'd never been close enough to him before to really see him.
"Hey, aren't you Maura?"
*Huh?* How did he know who the heck a nobody junior like me was? Or did my freak status make me far more noticeable than I'd realized? I started to feel sick to my stomach, realizing I was staring at him, dumbfounded, mouth hanging open.
"How do you know my name?" I asked weakly.
He actually blushed and brought a hand up to nervously brush the soft wisps out of his eyes. "Oh, I've just seen you around. You really made a mess of me, didn't you?" He laughed, and it was the warmest sound.
I opened my mouth wider, horrified. "I wasn't watching where I was going. I'm really sorry about your shirt!"
He put his hand on my shoulder. "Don't worry; it's just a shirt. No harm, no foul. I can just get my t-shirt out of my gym locker and put it on." He winked at me then. "I'll forgive you, but only if you promise not to give the milk thing another thought, okay?"
"Okay," I promised. His smile and that light in his earthy eyes were leaving me completely shell-shocked.
Much to my surprise, he turned his head to look at Wendy, who was still barking loudly with amusement. He rolled his eyes, picking up the bit of brownie from my tray and quickly whipping the chunk at her. The chocolate collided with her straight brunette hair, before falling to the floor in pieces. "I can't stand that girl," he muttered.
It was my turn to laugh. She looked so startled; I really couldn't help myself. Wendy was picking out crumbs and glaring at both of us. "Ronnie Stine, I swear I'll get you back for this!"
He was obviously unconcerned by her words, ignoring her threat and turning his back to her. He was just a few inches taller than me, but enough I had to glance up a bit to find those glorious eyes of his. He must have been about six feet to my five-foot-nine.
"Will you walk down to the gym with me?"
I was afraid I'd be late for Latin, but walking with him was the least I could do. "Sure." I probably would have skipped the rest of afternoon classes just to see that smile of his for a bit longer. Instead, I expressed worry for him. "Won't you be late for class?"
"Well, I might ditch and go to the mall. I have a birthday present to pick up."
What a coincidence. The thought I'd just had about cutting class was closer to becoming truth. I tried to work up the nerve to ask if I could ride along with him, while also nursing a small worry in the back of my mind that somehow Caelyn would find out I'd left school before I should have…and been alone in a car with a boy. I was definitely doing things more and more out of character those days.
He spoke before I could form the words. "You know, I was sitting at the table behind you and thought I heard you say you needed to go across town to get something yourself. Would you like to come along?"
Wow, he sure had made that easy. "You must be a mind reader," I murmured.
"No, I'm just an excellent eavesdropper." He grinned mischievously. We were already at the gym doors, though I couldn't really remember walking all the way there.
"I'll be right back." I watched him walk through the doors and then shook my head. I must be crazy. No boy had ever snagged my attention before. I simply wasn't interested in any romantic involvement, especially not with someone who would soon be almost 3,000 miles away from me. Not to mention the fact that Caelyn would be less than happy. She was dead set against me making the same choices she had. She might not talk about my dad often, but I'd heard over and over how childishly stupid teenage romances were. She'd even convinced me of my inability, at my age, to know whether I truly loved someone or not. No, I decided right there; I simply would not put myself through a heartbreakingly brief romance that would haunt me when I started my new life in Vancouver.
When he came back, I made a real effort of trying not to be enchanted by the boy who'd appeared out of the blue at the wrong time in my life. His shirt was plain white after, but even the simple cotton fabric looked stunning against his olive-toned skin. I reshaped my thoughts to concentrate on Caelyn's gift.
We managed to sneak out to his car undetected. He led the way to an older, but immaculately kept, white Trans Am. I climbed in after he opened the door for me. Hmmm, a gentleman too.
Neither of us spoke on the way to the mall. He flipped through the songs on the cd in the stereo until he found one he was satisfied with and sang along as he drove. Figured; even his voice was nice—well, way better than nice. He had an easy, casual air about him that was so much more pleasant and effortless to be around than my recent choice of company.
When we got out of the car, however; he brought up a difficult subject.
"So, I hear you're moving all the way to Vancouver after school is over."
"You know we're moving too?!" I asked, incredulous. Had Katie told the entire student body?
"Yep, I heard Wendy telling a girl in Chemistry class."
"Oh." Katie, Wendy, whoever. I was positive then the whole school must know.
"You know what? Those girls, well, that whole group they hang out with, their biggest problem is that their lives are so boring; they have to keep tabs on everybody else." We both laughed at that.
We were walking through the double doors. "So, are you going to have to live in an igloo up in Canada?"
"I hope you know how silly you're being." I smiled up at him. "Actually, it's pretty much supposed to rain all the time in Vancouver. And my mom assures me she's rented a very comfortable apartment for us to live in. There was no mention of Eskimo neighbors or roaming polar bears either."
He laughed again as he stepped into the edge of the jewelry store at the corner. It was a really fancy place but appealed to me in the form of the Gund plushies displayed in one of the glass cases. I didn't usually go for fancy stuff, but something about those lavish stuffed animals always captivated me when I walked past the store. He noted the stray of my eyes toward them.
"Those are pretty cute, huh?"
"Pretty expensive," I added. I'd never had the heart to ask Caelyn for one. It felt too selfish to want her to spend so much on a bit of fluff.
"I could see you all curled up with one of those." He smiled that magic smile once more.
I blushed in response, speechless.
"Hey, I need to go in here, okay? Do you want to go pick up whatever it was you came to get?" His question made it clear I wasn't invited into the store while he ran his errand. Maybe the birthday present was meant for a girlfriend I hadn't considered might exist before that moment. I suddenly felt so stupid, being all worked up about liking him when there probably was nothing to worry about at all. Why would someone so amazing be single? Beyond that, why should he like someone like me? I was far too different to be able to be with him, most likely.
I could feel myself flush a bit deeper, embarrassed by all the thoughts running through my head and happy he had no way of hearing them.
"Sure." I couldn't seem to help the coldness that crept into my tone. "I'll meet you back here?"
I didn't wait for him to answer but turned and walked swiftly away, deeper into the hallway lined with store after store. I thought I heard him say my name as I'd brusquely walked away, but I couldn't be sure. My agitation had been an illogical response I'd had to things that were only imagined. But every failed attempt I'd ever made at trying to get close to other people had served to make me angrier at myself for even bothering to try. I was probably feeling the frustration I kept bottling up every time I'd made a bit of progress with Trent and Katie, only to have Wendy scathingly unravel it. I was finding it hard to live on the edge like that. Wanting to believe I could find acceptance while maintaining the caution that helped ease the inevitable rejection.
I sighed, my agitation and quick temper dissipating as they always did after the brief, violent flare. All my emotions seemed to be even more volatile those days…like they ran all over the place with no control. Part of being a teenager, I guessed.
I'd reached the doors at the entrance on the other side and walked out into the dizzying sunlight; what I was after was actually in a strip mall down the hill from the Indiana Mall. The harshness tortured my eyes until I finally reached the shadow at the storefronts. I realized I was panting.
"You suck," I shot over my shoulder at the blazing ball in the sky.
The yoga studio was pleasingly cool. They'd possessed the good sense to turn the air conditioning on, even though the temperature wasn't quite hot enough to justify its use. There was a girl with a plain, kind face behind the counter.
"Hi," I said shyly.
"Hi there." She smiled in a friendly way that I seemed to need that day. "Was there something I could help you with?"
"Umm, I wanted to get a pass for my mom. But I've never done this before… Do I have to buy her a certain amount of lessons or something?" I was suddenly uncertain. Even though Caelyn had been saying forever she wanted to give the place a try, I didn't want her to commit to something when she didn't know whether she even liked yoga yet.
"Has she ever been here before?"
The answer to that question, I knew for certain. "Nope."
"Well, actually, the first visit is free."
Hmmm, that wasn't much of a present. And free begged no sort of binding commitment from Caelyn to actually show up. I looked around the entranceway to the studio, and my eyes fell upon the answer. "How much are those yoga mats?"
"$39.99."
Perfect! That was about what I'd been hoping to spend on an introductory lesson, and the mat had tangible value. I'd have actually spent money, which meant less of a chance that Caelyn would say no, despite her own lack of social skills...beyond those put to work schmoozing clients.
"I'll take one." I chose a light green. One other possible problem crossed my mind. "Oh, and is there a beginner's class sometime Saturday?" If so, I prayed the hour wouldn't be too early, or Caelyn definitely wouldn't show. We both loved sleeping in on Saturdays.
"Sure is!" she answered cheerily. "How's one o'clock?"
"Oh, that's perfect!" I smiled in earnest then, my plan coming together beautifully.
The girl rang up the mat, and I handed over an infinitesimal amount of my generous allowance Caelyn gave me in return for all my work around the house, which I rarely ever had opportunity to spend. My mother still insisted on buying all my clothes.
The girl held up two free passes. "Will you be coming with her?"
I felt guilt over my attempt to make Caelyn's Saturday bearable while I left her all alone. "No," I answered as nonchalantly as I could.
The girl quickly put one of the passes under the counter, as if she'd read what I was feeling in my expression. I took the remaining one she handed over, along with a schedule of the daily classes, thanked her for her help and left quickly.
I grew aware of the sudden concern I'd kept Ron waiting too long. I raced back up the hill, through the mall doors and down the short hallways—ours was a pitiful excuse for a mall.
I collided with him as I came around a corner. In my defense, he wasn't present around the corner where he was supposed to be waiting for me. I didn't realize it was him until I'd caught my breath. His arm was wrapped snugly around the small of my back. Embarrassingly, his grip had been the only thing that had kept me from falling flat on my bottom.
"Oh!" I exclaimed, a bit in shock, a bit from the impact. The breath had been knocked from my lungs, and the heat of his skin burned across the bare spot right above the top of my jeans… I knew the heat in my own face meant I was blushing…again.
He seemed amused by that and grinned down at me. "You seem intent on killing me today, don't you?"
I pursed my lips together in annoyance at his reminder of the day's earlier embarrassment and pushed against his chest with my free hand. "I'm fine; you can let go of me now."
He didn't release me. "Only if you promise not to crash into me anymore—at least for the rest of the day."
"I promise," I said through gritted teeth.
He stepped back, moving his hand to my upper arm to steady me. "Oh, come on, Maura! I'm only teasing you! Lighten up."
I made an attempt at being more normal, especially since I'd stomped off so irrationally earlier. "Okay, okay, you're right," I conceded and even made a feeble attempt to laugh at my uncharacteristic clumsiness.
"I didn't mean to make you mad." I knew he was probably referring to more than only the present moment.
I brushed the whole thing off, not wanting to divulge my irrational reasons for being so silly earlier. "Oh, you didn't! I'm just angry with myself for being such a klutz, and twice in one day even… It's really embarrassing. And you know, the whole stress of the move…" I looked away from his too-soft, too-attractive eyes then, not wishing to get pulled into anything I would regret later.
Thankfully, he changed the subject. "So, did you get what you came for?"
I held up my bag, the mat's spongy end sticking out in a tell-tale way. "Sure did! You?" Did I really want to know?
"Yep!" He held up a much smaller bag. I was sure, whoever she was, the girl would love whatever he had picked out. I sighed despite myself.
"You okay?" he asked, those eyes crinkling at the corners with concern.
"Oh, yeah." I pulled myself away from the unreasonable thought I'd been having about the boy who wasn't even in any way close to being mine. "I just have to get home soon."
"Do you?" There was disappointment in his voice. Was he trying to make my life harder?
"Yeah, unfortunately, I'm kind of in charge of dinner. And if Mom gets home and I'm not there, she'll kind of freak out."
"Overprotective parents?"
"Parent. And something like that, yeah." I grinned sheepishly up at him. "It's sorta complicated…"
"Gotcha." He wasn't going to pry. "Okay, let's get you home then." Why did he have to be so perfect? Why couldn't I have met him after we'd moved?
When we pulled into my driveway, I turned to thank him. "I owe you big time," I confessed.
"Hey, friends don't let friends ride with Neanderthals!"
I knew he was referring to Trent, and with what I'd observed of the football player's personality, I couldn't help laughing. I looked at him after with apology in my eyes. "I would invite you in, but to be honest, if Mom comes home and finds me alone in the house with you… Well, let's just say I couldn't guarantee your safety."
He laughed but added, "That must be hard to deal with."
"It's not like either of us ever had to deal with it before." I realized I really hadn't wanted to admit to such a thing. I mentally kicked myself for revealing how unattractive I was to the opposite sex to the one boy I might have had a chance at being interested in—if we hadn't been moving to the other side of the continent. I recovered quickly. "Caelyn, my mom, she had me when she was really young, so she just doesn't want me to make any mistakes. That's all."
He smiled his sunshine smile. "Sounds like you two really take care of each other."
"We do." I was staring in an idiotic fashion, once again, into his chocolate-colored eyes.
"Good luck with the yoga class on Saturday?"
"Oh…" He'd caught me off guard. I pulled my gaze away from his face and looked down at my mother's gift. "That's for Mom. I wanted her to have something to do while I'm gone." Why did I end up saying more than I ever wanted to reveal to him?
"Oh? What are you doing this weekend?"
I was suddenly ashamed of admitting I was spending my Saturday with the Neanderthal, the cheerleader he couldn't stand and the rest of their little clique. "I'm going swimming on Saturday."
He pressed, aggressively, that time. "With who?" His tone was flooded with suspicion.
I answered, despite my revulsion at the truth. "Trent and Katie…and some of their friends." My voice was diminished from its usual volume, as if the tactic might hide the meaning of the words I spoke.
"Oh." He rolled his eyes at that. "Have fun."
I tried to side-step the subject. "So, what are you going to be doing?" In a way, I was challenging him to come up with something better, though pretty much anything he might have planned would have to be more interesting than my idealistic attempt at fitting in with the popular kids at school.
"Shane and I are going camping." Yep, that sounded better. I'd seen Shane around school, and he didn't look like the type who'd laugh critically when one of his friends said the wrong thing.
"That does sound like waaaay more fun," I admitted.
He was serious then, eyeing me quizzically. "Really, Maura, why do you hang out with them? I don't understand it. You aren't like them at all."
That stung. Yet another reminder of my differences and inability to fit in.
My face must have had that look like he'd slapped me, because he added, "I mean that in a good way. I mean you aren't a snob like the rest of them."
"Oh," I said meekly. "Thanks." He looked like he was going to say something more, but I got a look at the dashboard clock out of the corner of my eye and jumped in panic. "Ack! I have to go!" I'd have to really hurry to make everything seem normal and in its place in time for Caelyn's arrival home.
"I had fun today," he said simply. He reached over to briefly squeeze my hand.
"Me too." I smiled at him genuinely. "Maybe I'll see you at school tomorrow?"
"Definitely!"
Even though I was rushed, I stood outside, waving to him as his car disappeared down the street.
It turned out that I saw Ron much sooner than I'd even thought I would. As I stood across from Trent and Katie's house the next morning, waiting for them to emerge from the garage in the Mustang, Ron's car rolled to a stop in front of me. He leaned over toward the open passenger's side window, a big friendly grin on his face.
"Want to ride with a member of the lower class today?" he joked.
I stuck my tongue out at him, not realizing I could be that playful. "Hold on a sec," I answered.
In another minute, Trent and Katie were easing out of their garage and backing toward us. I called to them. "Hey, guys! I'm going to ride with Ron today, okay?"
"Don't ask their permission!" Ron seethed from the window.
"Shhhh," I shot back. Katie must have been unable to hear me. She looked confused, but I exaggeratedly pointed to the passenger's seat of Ron's car, opened his door and settled into the black interior. As Ron drove away, I couldn't help noting Katie's injured expression. I hoped the damage was repairable.
"Thanks." Ron grinned enormously at me.
"Umm, you're welcome…but for what?"
"For ditching on the Ne…on Trent and Katie to ride with me. There's hope for you yet!"
I looked at him with as much irritation as I could muster before the exhilaration I felt at seeing him bubbled up into my face and took over. "Well, you are a senior, you know. I think you carry a higher status than them, anyway."
"You do know that means I have dibs on hanging out with you then."
He would find a way to turn my being nice to his own personal advantage. I laughed and said, "I guess you do!" I wondered if that meant he was going to try to stop me from going with them on Saturday, but he never said another word about it, so his camping plans must have been firmly set.
He switched topics. "So, how did your mom like your surprise?"
I thought about that before answering. Unable to keep my secret, I'd decided to spill the beans. Caelyn had agreed to go to the lesson, but not without much reluctance. I still wasn't sure whether she'd chicken out or not. "She liked it," was all the answer I gave. "How about yours?"
"Oh, the birthday's not until next month."
I didn't want to show any petty, imagined jealousy that day, so I joked, "Wow, you're absurdly well-prepared for a guy!"
He shrugged and turned on the radio again. We spent the rest of the drive to school listening to the music. I found myself wishing he would sing along again, and he didn't disappoint me.
"Now then, tell me, Baby, do you need my love?" He looked over at me as he sang that line.
I blushed but didn't miss the small voice inside my head that answered, completely of its own accord and only to myself, *Yes, I do.*