*6 months later.*
"Those fingers are breakable, you know?"
I immediately loosen my grip on Ruth's hand and she smiled at me comfortingly.
"Its gonna be okay, Caleb. Just talk, listen and make up. Families are simple like that."
"Easy for you to say", I grumbled lowly. Unlike me, she didn't seem to have any difficulty in maintaining cordial - even loving - relationship with her family from a time zone away.
I, on the other hand, wasn't gifted with a talent like that. It was a fucking miracle - or Ruth's sheer tenacity, maybe - that she wasn't driven away by my tactlesness when it came to her or my family, having working and living with me for 6 months now.
It wasn't all hearts and flowers though. And it would've been unrealistic to expect so.
For one, we still fought all the time. Though it was my responsibility to make the make-ups as intense as the fights.
For another, she had adjusted to Boston and our new life better than I had, working as my personal assistant on the clock and my live-in partner/fiancé off the clock.
Fiancé. It still felt unbelievable to think of her as my fiancé. My future wife. Her accepting my proposal was the most unbelievable part of our life together. I couldn't believe she had consented to marry me when I had proposed her last week, conditional as it had been.
*1 week ago*
"You are not getting a whip." I declared a little too forcefully as soon as Ruth uttered, 'on one condition' instead of a tearful, whispered 'yes,' that I was hoping for.
Ever since we had moved in, Ruth had shed her prim and shy guise, becoming the fucking vixen I had always suspected her to be. If it hadn't been so invigorating, it would have definitely been exhausting.
"That's not what I was gonna ask for!" She protested, before adding, "not now, anyway. It could be something that I might ask later when we-"
"Kinda getting a leg cramps here, babe."
Admittedly, there weren't many situations when I would've stopped her from telling me exactly how kinky she could get, but kneeling down on one knee on uneven, and rocky ground of Cross mansion's backyard, surrounded by numerous shades of wild flowers in was definitely one of them.
While some would think that my choice of location for proposing her was lazy, Ruth and I knew the truth.
This was the place where I had realised that I had fallen head over heels in love with her, fantasized holding her in this very meadow in June when yellow, purple and pink flowers swayed in warm summer breeze.
And the fact that I was standing here with her, getting to propose her in the exact spot where I had the epiphany was nothing short of a miracle. She was nothing short of a miracle.
It had brought tears into both of our eyes when I had told her as much before asking her to marry me.
But then she had dabbed her eyes, smiled and replied, "on one condition."
*Now*
So here I was, sitting in a restaurant in one of our subsidary resorts, clinging to Ruth like a baby on the first day of his pre-school, fulfilling her one condition to marry me.
"I should add sadism to your exponentially growing list of kinks." I grumbled again and heard her sigh patiently.
"We cannot form new relationships if our old ones aren't amicable."
Before I could reply, a waiter announced to someone behind me, "There you go."
I looked up, just as the chair opposite from me moved.
"Didn't think I'd hear from you ever again now that you don't have to."
"That makes two of us," I replied a little too bitterly.
Ruth nudged my foot with hers before saying, "what he means by that is that we are thankful that you showed up, Ana."
My half sister shrugged casually, but her entire demeanor screamed her wariness as her blue eyes flickered at me.
"Of course. You said you wished to speak to me alone."
"We did." Ruth agreed, before tentatively starting, "well, we were thinking that since all of us are in same city now, how about we, uh, get together or meet more often?"
Ana's eyes widened before coming to rest on me. "You want to.. Reconnect?"
"Well, why not?" Ruth continued, seemingly oblivious to the tension growing between Ana and me.
"You are siblings, aren't you? Well, half siblings, but who cares? I'm not saying that we can suddenly all plan up a family vacation or anything, but you two don't have to be estranged. You only have each other left after all, and no matter what, family is, well... Family. You can't be seriously wanting this rift, right? Right?"
But neither of us responded as we continued to look at each other. Neither of us cared for her pep talk. It was like years of bottled-up anger, betrayal, and emotions were bubbling up, ready to start pouring out at the slightest nudge.
And that nudge came when Ruth repeated "RIGHT?!" for the third time.
Ana's stormy blue eyes snapped at her and she replied, "oh, I don't know, Ruth. Some people seems to enjoy rifts and grudges. They seem to get some sadistic pleasure out of estrangements too."
"Pleasure? You think I recreationally cut people out of my life?"
"Why else would you suddenly abandon me?"
"I didn't abandon you, YOU betrayed me! I had thought that you were my sister. Mom had thought you were her daughter. She was over the moon the day they brought you home from orphanage. I was over the fucking moon to have a sister!"
"But you knew the reality. You knew you were going to your own father's house because your mother refused to care for you anymore. You knew your adoption was a forged. You knew you ... That you were..." I stuttered,unable to finish the sentence, but Ana finished it for me.
"A bastard. An illegitimate child. The daughter of a mistress, right?" She finished, looking pale and shaken at my outburst. A deep, dark part of my heart ached to see pain flash in her usually crystal clear gaze.
"I loved you, Ana. And you broke my family."
As a grown man, I knew I was being unfair in blaming her for my father's indiscretion, but years of pent-up anger of a teenaged boy was spilling out unbidden.
"You were the reason my mother left my father, left her home! You were the reason she-" I stopped, suddenly realising what was sprouting out of my mouth.
"Go on," She whispered, "blame me for the accident. Blame me for her and uncle Martin's death. Blame me for your soured relationship with father, your rivalry with my husband and your estrangement with Leo. Blame me for every hurdle you've faced since then because even though I've had as much control over them as I had over my parentage, but you've obviously linked every one of your problems to me. If that helps you feel better about them, then by all means, go on and pin it all on me."
Her words made me deflate. Not because it wasn't something that I didn't already know when I was thinking like a reasonable grown-up, but also because of the way she said it in a low, matured resigned tone.
It made me realise how much she had grown-up since the blonde haired girl I had seen for the first time who had walked into our house years ago, looking small and scared. The woman in front of me now was wise.
Not only that, but she also seemed to... Love me. The realisation was like a jolt of shock to my system.
All these years, I knew I was punishing her for no reason but for the first time I realised that I was only hating her because she was letting me do it.
She was letting me blame her for all my problems because she knew I needed that to keep going, to keep fighting on and overcome the trauma of my accident. And now she was making me stop hating her because.. That was what I now needed.
I rubbed my eyes roughly and was surprised to feel the wetness there. Ruth squeezed my thigh and I caught hold of her hand to anchor myself.
"There are many things I could say right now, but I know you are not ready to hear any of it. Not yet. But if any part of you really do want to reconnect, make amends or even keep in touch, I'll be right here."
I could only nod without meeting her eyes. I didn't want her to see the wetness there though I knew it was useless. And without any words or apologies, I knew that itwas I who was being forgiven here.
If only I'd known that purging the poison out of my heart and reaching out was all that it would take to mean I had someone to call a family.
And, if only someone else was as forgiving as Ana was.
"It was a pleasure seeing you again, Ruth. Leo sends his regards," Ana said, standing up, her eyes sliding over to me as she added, "only to you."
"Likewise Ana. Say hi him from both of us, will you?" Ruth replied, squeezing my hand.
Ana nodded and then looked over at me, her eyes looking tentatively hopeful.
"So, hope to hear from you soon?"
I knew it was meant as polite parting words, but she made it sound like a question, so I nodded wordlessly knowing that I'd be seeing more of my sister in the near future.
"That went well," Ruth spoke up as we strolled out of the restaurant half an hour later. It had taken some time for me to collect myself after Ana had left and Ruth had quietly allowed me the time and space, busying herself by replying to a few emails while I brooded.
Reconciling with Ana had not been as painful as I had expected it to be. In fact, a sense of relief and light-heartedness was filling me as I slowly let go of the anger that I had held against her for years.
It wasn't all gone still, of course. No reasoning or realisations could do that. But I knew we will be fine. Not a Christmas dinner kind so soon, but a family nonetheless.
I sighed deeply now as we walked out in the bright afternoon sun. All these emotions had exhausted me more than a day at work. And it wasn't even 4pm on a weekday yet.
"The lawyers have sent a copy of the contract via email. Lets have a look at it first thing when we reach office and-"
"Let's go home instead." I interrupted her chatter as we reached the car.
"Home? Did you forget something there?"
"No, let's just go home." I gave her an unmistakable look of desire and she backed away instantly.
"Caleb! Its a work day."
"You should've thought of that before scheduling this get-together 'in the lunch break'." I replied smoothly as I moved closer to her until her back was against the car door, her body caged with my arms.
"We have a meeting tomorrow," She protested again but her voice was weak. I had come to realise that my proximity did that to her.
Keeping that in mind, I leaned in until my body was pressed up against her, and felt her melt.
"You've done well, Ruth. We are well prepared for tomorrow. We can afford a little respite before the big day."
All I wanted to do was curl up on our bed, holding Ruth to me until the emotional exhaustion of the last hour had seeped out of my system. And it seemed like I would finally get my wish when I felt her breathe stutter.
Still not the one to give up though, she gulped and breathed another feeble protest.
"But we are still on clock, Caleb. We... "
Neither of us will ever know what she was going to say next as I leaned in and kissed her on a spot right below her ear and whispered, "No, Ms. Brooke, we are now off the clock."
***