Caleb's POV
There was a ringing in my ear and I bowed my head down into my hands to block it out, but it persisted. It has been pestering me for some time now, but no matter what I did, it just wouldn't stop.
I had no idea how long it has been since my father had walked out of my house, leaving me shaken until my very core.
What he said about uncle Martin and mom was— no. I won't think of it. I won't let him play with my mind. Not again.
I knew my mother. And I knew uncle Martin. He was a better father figure to me than my own father ever was, and I will not let a bitter old man's words tarnish those memories of him.
But what if he was right? What if he and mom really were— no, not again. I will not let my mind go down that road. Not tonight. Not ever.
Even though I refused to acknowledge that he had even planted that seed of poison into my mind, there was a cold dread in the pits of my stomach that sent chills of dejà vú up and down my spine.
It felt like this has happened before. This sick feeling at the thought of my mother and uncle Martin that wasn't there until I was 'reminded' of why it needed to be there.
But I had no idea for what I had previously felt it for, and why it was getting associated with everything that dad had said tonight.
Atleast the ringing had stopped, and I could rest my head on my folded hands again. But as much as I had been craving this silence just a second ago, it didn't bring as much peace as I had been hoping for.
My insides were churning with every word that had been said tonight, as if my body needed to physically digest his words.
Was it possible that he was telling the truth? Was there really no trust left in the world? Or was it a lie? Will my own father go that far to get what he wanted?
Can't I even trust my own heart, my own memories and recognise the people for who they truly were?
And was I making the same mistake with Ruth that I had made with Ana by trusting her?
Ruth. Beautiful, sweet Ruth. Sassy, determined, delightful Ruth. The only light in my otherwise gray life. Was it possible that it was all a lie? That she would drop me and move on if the going got tough?
So much thoughts. So many questions. My mind was spinning. And to add to it, the ringing was back. Why couldn't it just quit?
This time when I covered my ears, I bowed and rested my head against my knees to resist the urge to lie down on the couch that I was sitting in and cover my head with a pillow.
I just need silence. One fucking minute of silence, and then all will be fine. All the pieces will snap in place. Just like they did whenever I was around Ruth.
Ruth.
God, just her name was enough to ease some tension from my body and silence my mind. Just thinking about her made peace settle over ke like a warm blanket. She really was like my nirvana. My happy place, where everything was perfect.
I needed her. She was the only one who was capable of shutting my mind down in the best way possible.
Without another thought, I reached into my pocket for my phone to call her even though I had no idea what I was going to say when she picked. All I knew was I wanted to hear her voice. That will fix everything.
But as soon as I unlocked my phone, notifications jumped one over the other, covering my screen. I had 14 missed calls from Leo, and way too many forms of messages.
It wasn't Leo I needed to talk to right now. But he didn't leave me a choice when my phone started ringing for the fifteenth time.
I briefly contemplated disconnecting it, but knew he'll keep calling until I answered, so I connected the call.
But before I had even touched the phone to my ear, his voice rumbled out of the phone like a horde of angry bulls.
"What the fuck is wrong with you, asshole? Why haven't you been answering you phone? Why didn't you pick up Ruth? And WHY ARE YOU STILL AT HOME?"
"How do you even know I'm still at home?"
"Because your driver has more brain cells than you, dickhead. He knows that when his phone rings, he is supposed to ANSWER IT."
I flinched at his screaming and looked at the time. Fuck. Was it really 9pm?
"Yes, it really fucking is 9pm, asshole. Did you have a memory lapse or something?"
"Did I said that out loud?" I muttered to myself, and of course Leo heard that too.
"Yes, you said that out loud. You still are. I'm not a mind-reader, ass."
"Can you stop shouting?" I got up from my place on couch and looked around. How did I lose this much time?
Was I really so lost in my head after dad left that I didn't even realise that I have been sitting here for nearly an hour?
"Stop. Shouting?! No I CANNOT stop shouting! Caleb, why the hell are you so hell bent on destroying everything that's good for you? Seriously, standing Ruth up without a single call or text is a new low, Caleb."
"Standing Ruth up? I didn't stand her up! I'm on my way to pick—"
"No. You were on your way to pick her up an hour ago. Right now, you're on your way to be blown up by the love of your life for standing her up just 2 days after telling her that she is the love of your life."
"She won't do that—"
"—Oh, she will so do that. She is pissed with a capital P. You didn't see her face when Ana told her that you're going to the party with your father and she is supposed to go with them."
"Who said I'm going with my— wait, she is going with them?"
'You think she'll be there for you when you need her the most?'
'I bet she won't even wait for you to come around if better opportunity came up.'
My father's words chose that moment to echo in my mind. No, I told myself. No that's not what this is. Its not even remotely related. And this time I was glad when Leo's voice pulled me out of my thoughts again.
"Out of all the things I just said, that's the part you focus on? No, you idiot. She didn't. I wouldn't let that happen. And moreover, she is too smart to fall into that trap."
"Listen to me Caleb, screw the party. I'll take care of that. Meet us at De La'amour in 10 minutes."
Fuck. How can I be such an idiot? After nearly losing her twice in a month and one of them just 2 days ago, how could I be such a fool?
I picked up the small carry bag from the table and was out of the door and into the elevator like a bullet.
I had no idea if I had even shut the door behind me as I waited impatiently for elevator to descend down while Leo raved some more on how much of an idiot I was.
For once, I agreed with him. I should have been with Ruth right now instead of letting my father play with my mind like that.
I was a grown man for God's sake, not a child to shatter into pieces everytime I had a one-on-one encounter with Callahan Cross.
Now I just hoped that Ruth would be in forgiving mood when I meet them there and— wait a minute.
"And just fucking call Ruth. She is—"
"Meet us at De La'amour? Who's us?" I cut him off as his words replayed into my mind. And now that I thought about it, all his other words started registering one by one.
"Me and Ruth? Listen, this party is brewing up way too much of a storm than it is worth, I swear. Call he—"
"You're not in New York." I realised, but it didn't bring me as much relief as it should have. I mean Leo is here. All will be okay.
He wouldn't let Ruth fall in any traps. He'll protect her. He'll protect us. He always did. Just like his father protected me. And my mom. The thought was unbidden, but it took my mind straight to the place that I had been trying to avoid.
The doors to the ground floor slid open but I stayed frozen in my spot as the dejà vú flooded back with vengeance.
It was probably a couple of seconds to anyone else. The doors of the elevator still stood open. Leo was still ranting something about Tristan.
But my mind was already gone. Travelling years back, to the time I was probably 14 or 15 years old, and in my father's study where I had felt this sick feeling before.
*15 years old Caleb's POV*
He was towering over me, red-faced and trembling with anger. For a moment, I feared he was going to slap me, but no. My father was many things, but physically abusive wasn't one of them.
Besides, he had never needed to lay a hand on anyone. His words alone were sharper than any slap that he could ever serve anyone.
I had just finished telling him why I hated coming over to Boston every three months to 'bond' with him, and was not going to come over again.
For starters, It was his own fault that mom had left him and moved to Seattle. And if he wanted to spend time with me, then he should be the one flying to Seattle, not parcelling me here like this.
For another, I hated flying. Loathed it. And everyone knew that. I hated the tranquilizers they gave me in the name of 'muscle relaxants' just so I could get through the flight without having panic attacks.
And after going through all this trouble, all I got to do was tag along with my father to his meetings, only to be made to wait for him in waiting rooms.
After barely having 2 dinners with him the last time, I had decided that I've had enough. I didn't need to suffer plane rides back and forth for scrapes of his time.
Besides, I would much rather spend time with uncle Martin anyway. He never made me do things that I didn't want to. He loved me and he flew into the city every few weeks to spend time with me. I really wished uncle Martin was my father instead of him.
All these points sounded fair to me. I had spent days preparing and writing them down to say to my father when I saw him next. But apparently he found something really offensive in my carefully worded declaration of Independence.
"So your uncle takes better care of you and your mom than I ever did? You would rather have him for a father than me?" He snarled, and I flinched. Probably shouldn't have said that. But it was true, and truth never hurt noone they say.
"Oh, Caleb. You are so naive. You think he flies to Seattle to see 'you'. He comes there to spend time with 'you'. He takes such good care of your mother for 'you'." I waited for him to snarl in anger again. Probably say some hurtful words like he did whenever he was angry.
But surprisingly, he smiled. It wasn't a pleasant smile though. It was mocking one, one that accompained a head shake and pity.
"You still have so much to learn about people and their real motivation to do good for others. About your precious uncle Martin. And, about your own mother." He raised his brow, that said more than his words could have.
And something clicked. Like the right key fitting into the lock. He didn't say anything more as he settled into his chair. He didn't need to.
What he was implying about uncle Martin and my mother slowly slithered into my mind like black smoke. Suddenly everything looked different. Every happy memory with my mom and uncle Martin turned sour. Uncle Martin and mom? Together? No.
*
"Sir? Sir. Sir... Caleb?"
A vaguely familiar voice made me blink and it cleared the fog of the vision that had been blurring my eyes. I looked up at the middle-aged man, but was unable to recognise him until he reached out and touched my shoulder.
"You alright, sir? You're pale as ghost."
Steve. My driver. Elevator. Ruth. It all came back to me in broken pieces as if my brain cannot handle the whole picture altogether.
I looked around, and realised I was still in the elevator, only I was bent over with my hands braced against the open doors, as if I was physically holding them open. My phone lay at my feet along with the carry bag that held Leo's gift for Ruth.
Leo. I straightened and picked up my phone to find it blank. Probably got switched off because of falling hard onto the floor. As I powered it on, Steve picked up my bag, I stepped out of the elevator shakily.
"Wh.. what happened?"
"I'm not sure. I was just standing by your car out-front, when I saw you standing inside the elevator. But instead of stepping out, you sort of stumbled and braced yourself against the door. I thought you were about to fall over or something."
He looked at me with concern and I started walking ahead of him, suddenly uncomfortable by his concerned expression. I didn't need anybody, especially my staff, to see me as weak.
I gave him a nod, and wordlessly slid into the backseat, rolling down the windows to let cold air blow in.
It helped, and slowly I felt the buzzing in my head subside. Ruth. I needed her. She will be there for me. She'll know I need her. She will understand. She will make this all stop.
I kept telling this to myself as we pulled into the traffic. It was lighter than I had been expecting it to be. Good. I'll reach her faster. It'll all stop sooner. It'll all be—
"Steve, Ms. Brooke's house is that way." I frowned when I realised that we were headed to downtown Seattle and indicated to the opposite lane.
"Are we supposed to go to her house, sir?" Steve peered at me through rearview mirror and I frowned more.
"Of course. Where else would I pick her up from?"
"But she is already on her way to the banquet, so we need to catch up with her there. Atleast that's what Mr. Leo said."
Of course. I was an hour late. Without even calling or messaging her. She was already gone with Leo.
I squeezed my eyes shut as the doubts and long lost memories all mingled together and rose within me. No. No, no, no. Leo won't do this to me. Ruth won't do this to me.
They were two people in the world that I loved and trusted most in the world. They can't do this to me. But what if I'm wrong? What if, for once my father is right? What if —
"Sir?"
Steve prompted, and I looked up and around me. We were parked at the neck of a lane.
"We can't stop here too long, sir. Which way do we go?"
And wasn't that a million dollar question?
*
The alleyway across the street from De La'amour was surprisingly clean. Not that it mattered as I have to wait for only a couple of minutes before a white SUV rental pulled up at the entrance of the hotel.
Even before he stepped out, I knew it was Leo's car. He had a thing for white SUVs and sure enough a moment later, his huge body emerged from the backseat of the vehicle.
I waited, barely breathing as he stepped out and looked around absent-mindedly as he talked to someone on his phone. Then he peered back the way he had arrived and I saw a cab switching into the hotel's lane.
Leo disconnected his phone amd tapped the roof of his car, and a moment later, it pulled away amd towards the underground parking lot. Leo took one last look at the approaching cab, then turned and disappeared through the hotel doors.
I stayed right where I was, even though I had seen all I wanted to see. It was as if I was frozen in anticipation for the moment she will step out of the cab.
And of course, she didn't disappoint. Wrapped in the sexiest red dress that was ever made, she was so enchanting that I felt my breathe stutter at the very sight of her even from this distance.
Just the sight of her made me forget everything. Literally, everything. Words, visions, past, future, everything. It was like she was unknowingly casting a spell on me and I was done for.
Without even realising, I felt my feet move towards her as I crossed the lane that was thankfully semi-deserted. Before I knew it, I was right at her elbow, close enough to take in her intoxicating scent.
God, she really was magnificent. Up close, I could see each rustle and slip of fabric against her skin as she walked in. Her spine was rigid, her demeanor unfriendly.
She obviously sensed someone right behind her and I wondered if she was angry because she knew it was me.
Before I could figure it out, she slipped out of her jacket and sweet Lord have mercy. I couldn't remember the last time I was this turned on.
Maybe it was all the angst from last hour that was looking to get released. Maybe it was voracious yearning for her. I had no idea. All I knew was that I needed her. Right then. Right now.
And as if I wasn't already desperately in love with her, her next words sealed my fate for good.
"Even though I appreciate you looking out for me, I'm not making some grand entrance with you, Leo. I'm attending this party with Caleb or completely on my own."
And I replied to her with the exact words that were running through my mind right then.
"I'm so glad you feel that way, Ms. Brooke."