04/06/24
I am taking time out of my day to remind myself of who my king will be. I do not wish to forget this, as if I do, I have failed the remaining task passed to me by Father. A king must be strong, that's a common trait taught to me, but in what way? Must I be physically fit to instil confidence in my people, so they know that I can carry the weight of the land? Or, do they mean mentally, never showing a glimpse of hesitation when making decisions that could harm many? I will say both for now; I would say both are important.
Kind, kindness, that is what I need to have. But I cannot be both strong and kind, for if the time to sacrifice a life occurs to me for the betterment of the settlement, I would buckle under the weight of the dead souls that would haunt afterwards. The hawks would notice, then the vultures will swoop in. So, I must not be too kind; so just, just is the best alternative. I must teach myself to be as close to God as possible, to ensure my rule's welfare. My people must be put under testing, as God tests us with this sand home, so that when God returns, so will the peaceful rain. I must not submit to other heathens, who's God is so weak and frail; the true God would never be disempowered by mere demons. If I can walk my people's streets and witness more wicked demons than their God and return to my palace, no scratch on my body, then their God must be false.
So that is how to be as good a king as one can be; be as close to God as respectfully possible. Do not tread into the territory of blasphemy, simply balance across the tightrope to heaven, with each step growing more dangerous, with each step bringing purity to my lands.
06/06/24
I bumped into that man once again today during my daily stroll through town. I intend to continue these strolls, it brings me much joy to see the smiles of my people as they realise I view them as my children, and as their parent, I will continue to entertain them.
I took my first act as king, the man I bumped into, I appointed him supervisor over the mines, a prestigious role in the community, with it bringing him bountiful wealth and respect. Never have I seen a smile as wide as his when I muttered his appointment, never have I been giving a hug with such warmth since my parents were still looking over me – I believe they have been preoccupied with the infinite joys of the afterlife, waiting for me join them once again. The man's smile squeezed tears from his eyes, and I didn't know whether to apologize. Tears of joy are what I discovered today; I wonder if there are other obscure forms for joy to escape into the open. Well, if there are, I intend to find them with haste, then unlock them from every single human I consider my children.
That mine has become my greatest investment to date. The people are flocking out of their boxes to the pickaxes and heading to mine for gold; I love them for that. After being so close to edge, practically clinging on with a fingertip, the ability to pull themselves up and return to life as if happiness was the only emotion they had ever felt astonishes me. I can learn how to improve myself from their attitude. I wonder why I was never taught the value of learning from your people; I would have spent more time out in town than in my study, reading how to collect taxes for the fifteenth time.
09/06/24
I have received an invitation to yet another ball in a nearby kingdom. This information has only reached me because of my butler's telling, but I do not wish to attend, so I have disposed of the invitation already. I never enjoyed them when I was younger, I simply followed my Father and Mother, before being exiled with the other noble's children for the day. What I must admit is that I did enjoy one part of the balls. Every time I went, I would talk to this princess from Deus Porta. She shared the same displeasure for kingship as me, with her too preparing to ascend to her father's throne. She had no siblings, so I suppose I filled that role for her in few precious moments we met. Knowing that her father is currently ill, just as my own was a short while ago, her presence at this ball is impossible; her caring perspective of life wouldn't let her abandon her father in his body's final moments with its soul. Even as I child, she couldn't swat a fly out of fear that she ended a life.
Pressure has mounted on me to find a suitable spouse. I cannot think of anyone else for that role.