Being a popular boy in school would mean that you have a lot of friends. I was one of the 2 players selected by our national sports body for a full scholarship, all expenses paid to learn football in FC Brandenberg for a year and then after my return, I don't have to go for a separate selection process and get to represent the state sub-junior team. I was only 13 years old back then. My mom, dad, and my brother, they were really proud of me. Considering I was one of the two players to be selected for one of the premier clubs of Germany.
Things felt great, mom had actually accompanied me to Germany when I was getting trained. Every-day I used to have training sessions early morning from 6:00 a.m. and it would go on till 10:00 a.m. and then again in the evening training would start from 3:00 p.m. till 5:00 p.m.
I didn't have to attend class and our principal has made arrangements to promote me to the next class after my return. Things felt great because other than getting to do something that I love, I was also getting a stipend from the club and it was not just any loose change but a hefty sum of 50000 euros every month.
Besides that, mom had talked to the club officials and landed me a couple of commercials too. Mom had a degree in Management and has a real talent at striking great deals with these corporate advertising guys.
All I had to do was to hold their products on my hand, smile at the camera, and tell a couple of lines. There would be a guy standing behind the camera who would hold some placards which would have the lines I need to say. All I had to do is to look at those and say those exact lines. The best part was just to say a couple of lines, I get a paycheck of about 100000 to 120000 Euros. By the end of the year, I must have earned about a million euros and I didn't have to spend it on anything at all.
My dad who had struggled his whole life to give me and my brother a better life had arranged to safely keep my earnings into a bank and made sure that I could only use that money the day I turned 21. Back then I didn't like the idea of saving my money into a bank. I wanted to use the money to show off to my friends and become popular.
About my brother, he was a year younger than me. He was more of a geek, very good in studies, to tell you the truth he was a straight 'A' student. Would always top the class, however, I never liked the fact that he remained invisible from everyone. Was never able to make lots of friends except for a few geeks like him who were his study buddies. I wouldn't say he was physically not strong. He was as tall as me, probably a few inches taller than me too, and had a well-built figure. Maybe if we had a scuffle he might be able to pin me down too. However, for some reason, he liked spending his time using his brains rather than using his brawn. He never liked to play sports.
After my one year stint in Germany, I was back in school again. I happened to meet one of the most beautiful girls in my class and in a few days, she became my girlfriend too. Her name was Lucy. She used to like me a lot, however, sometimes I keep getting the feeling that she was friends with me because of my popularity, but that never mattered to me. I was popular and it was an accepted fact. The popular boy always gets the girl, if not her I would get someone else.
One day dad came up to me and gave me the most wonderful advice, he said "Son... I want to give you a bit of advice... many times in life there are moments which you want to cherish them forever, however as time passes by, you tend to forget them... do you know what is the best way to remember everything..."
"What dad..."
Dad said, "When we were young, your grandfather would tell us to maintain a diary... that way you can keep all your happy and sad memories alive."
"Can you try to maintain a diary... give it a try and who knows it might prove to be helpful..."
That day, I didn't take his advice seriously however just to humor him and being the brother who couldn't say no to dad, I decided to give it a try. Today when I look back at the advice he gave me, it felt like he was right.
That advice really proved helpful. It reminded me where my life went wrong, what did I do to end my perfect football career and started living within the shadow of my younger brother.
I still go through the journals trying to figure out what really went wrong and how I could have changed it, but nobody could play with destiny and that's kind of a universal fact.
Our school was divided into 2 wings, the Junior wing, and the senior wing. Students till standard 6 were considered into the Junior wing and from standard 7 till standard 12 were considered to be in the senior wing.
Being a popular kid of the school, I ended up making friends with some of the school jocks who liked to bully others. Mostly the geeks. Initially, I used to distance myself from them, however, over the course of time, I began to like the feeling of being known as the school tormentor. In due time I became the leaders of the jocks. It also helped me prove my masculinity over the weaker ones. It helped me gain power over others.
However as the saying goes, the sins of the parent are borne by the children, in my case, my sins were borne by my brother. I ended up tormenting my own brother in the most disgusting way, which made him hate me and he never forgave me for it.
It was my plan to ask a few of the cheerleader girls in school to get an extra pair of skirts to school. We would catch 3 random boys, cover their faces with a scarf, and force them to wear a skirt. After that 3 of the seniors would select one guy each and kiss them. It was a pure childish prank and we thought it would be fun. This was fun until the day the inevitable happened.
One fine day while I was still in my class, the other bullies got 3 new boys and took them to the terrace. As they were getting them ready, I received a message on my phone which said that I should come up to the terrace once my class was over. They have got 3 new fresh boys for the prank. As the class got over, I rushed to the terrace to get a piece of one of the geeks.
I selected the tallest boy in the group and as I approached him, he tried to step back. I swiftly caught hold of his hands, touched his hip with my right hand, pulled him close, and with my left hand I caught hold of his head and tried to kiss the child lustfully. I knew very well that I was kissing a boy and at that moment it didn't bother me at all. I felt really good.
Somehow, he managed to place both his hands on my chest and pushed me away. Not able to resist the fact that one of the invisible nerds pushed me away in front of my friends, I caught hold of his shirt collar and punched him hard, as he fell into the ground and while coughing, the scarf came off and to my horror, he was none other than my own brother.
I was mad at my friends for bringing my own brother up there, however at that moment, the only thing I wanted to do was to step forward and seek forgiveness from my brother. I stepped forward to pull him up and tried telling him how sorry I was, but he pushed me away and shouted at me saying "You, are my elder brother for god sake, how can you do that to me... You should have protected me not to be a part of this shameful act" he kept crying and then with his sobbing voice he shouted angrily "I promise I am never going to forget this day... I will take away everything you love, and you will not be able to do anything about it..."
He stood up... Opened the skirt and while he was wearing his pants he looked at me and said "Don't worry my dear brother... this secret is safe with me... I won't tell mom or dad or the school authorities... I will have my vengeance in my own sweet way... and I will make sure that these 2 boys and the others who were victims of your childish prank, will bear witness to my vengeance on you... and don't worry brother, I will promise that they won't tell anyone about this incident."
"Every time after I had my vengeance on you, I will gladly remind you that it's my revenge for what you did to me today..."
That day, I didn't realize how discomforting he must have felt, however when he finally had his vengeance, I understood the extent of rage he had for me because of what I and my friends did that day.
He took away everything from me, including my identity, my friends, my career, my girlfriend, my family who loved me the most, and the worst of all he took away my honor. The honor and the respect that took me 13 years to build and it was destroyed in one single day.
Today when I think about that day, I wished that the incident would never have happened. I really wished there were time-machines which would turn back time and I can wipe out the incident from his memory.
TO BE CONTINUED...