Asher agreed to drive me home and he helped me walk to the pack house. I'm thankful it's pretty late and no one is wandering aimlessly around the pack, like I've seen them always doing. The lights were on in the living room, but luckily the door for the garage doesn't have an entrance through the house. He walk undetected in and I follow him to a black Aston Martin... or a car that resembles the one my brother bought himself for his birthday last year. I was never a cars buff and I especially loathe those that almost beg you to break the speeding limit. Not that I'm much of a law-abider myself when I'm on my motorcycle, but I always felt safer on my two-wheeled baby.
I still get into the passenger seat and wait for Asher to start the engine and get us out of here. The moment the garage's gates let us pass through, the car flew from its spot and I mindlessly digged my fingers deep into the arm rest. The forest was passing rapidly past us and I was feeling my whole soul up in my gut. I knew I'm going to be sick really soon, but I try to keep still. I get the same sickness everytime I'm in the tube. Sometimes, before an examen or after a restless night out hunting, I'd get motion sickness in above-ground vehicles too. I don't generally have a problem with speeding, but only when I'm tired and my anxiety spikes too much, I have a hard time keeping myself together. But I always remember what my dad kept repeating me when I was a trainée: a weak hunter is a dead man walking.
I must stay calm.
Everything will be alright, just man up, Adeline.
"Aline?" I hear Asher's voice and I don't realise that we were already in Boulder. He slowed down considerably when we passed the city limits, but panick already took over my body. We were a few blocks away from campus, but I was barely keeping myself from running out of the car. My breathing was unsteady and I was switching in my seat nervously, trying to calm down but to no avail.
"Are you okay?" He asks me, taking a turn and I sigh when I see the university's main building.
"Totally!" I lie shamelessly and keep my eyes to the road ahead of us.
The moment Asher parked near the halls, I flew open the car's door and jumped out. I curse myself for the quick movement, as the headaches I didn't have time to miss, returned with a blast. My stomach was bustling like an old computer and I kept rubbing my eyes to shove away the annoying little lights that were clouding my view.
"Hey, Aline!" Says Asher and comes before me. I shake my head off and try to look fine, but he still keeps his careful eyes on me. "What's wrong? You're feeling bad again?"
"Well, although I appreciate the quick ride, my body might have not." I go past him and head for the entrance. Not a few steps into the building and I realising he was following me. I stop in the middle of the hallway and pray that he'll give me an explanation right away, because I don't feel like talking much right now.
"Don't shout at me, I just want to make sure that you get to your room safely." He tells me. Oh good, he thinks I'd be able to shout at him without fainting after, I should use it to my advantage.
"I told you I'm fine," I answer him and keep walking to my room.
"You stayed by my side when I was nearly dying, so let me pay back the kindness."
"I wasn't in my right mind, Asher." I tell him, leaning by my room's door. "I don't remember anything, except from helding you in my arms until your friends took you and Phoebe appeared before me. Then I know I somehow pissed off Hayder, because I remember him looking mad, and falling asleep. A lot. Until I finally woke up this morning."
"I don't remember much either," he also adds, mirroring me and leaning on my door. "I remember your face and how tears were running down your face, but that's it." Flashes of that night came back to me but I brushed them off from my mind. I'm already weakened, I don't need any hurting memories.
"But I know that when I woke up you were there," he says and I snap out of my thoughts. My eyes immediately lock to his and I gasp. "You stood by my side when I was at my worst, even if you insist you did out of instinct. So I'll make sure that I return the favor."
"By sending me away?" Comes my immediate response and he only frowns when our earlier conversation surfaces again.
"I wasn't sending you away, Aline. I never would," he assures me and his hand brushes against mine for a quick moment. I didn't even have time to scold him for it, because he was looking at me like nothing happened.
He does things out of instinct now too?
I roll my eyes and he continues, "I wanted for you and Phoebe to have a head start. I want to move the competition to Australia and picked a pack there to be our host."
"You mean that you're running away?" My eyes grow bigger and I find a hard time believing his words. He can't just walk away from everything that is happening here, that is not a solution.
"Sometimes the best way to avoid a conflict is by running away from it," he tells be and I shake my head in disapproval.
"Only cowards run and only fools think that moving away can save you from a conflict. So which one are you?" I mockingly ask him and he just presses his lips. I know he wants to say something back, but he's not a fool to believe I won't counterattack again. "A coward then," I draw the conclusion and reach for the doorknob.
"I'm trying to avoid a world war, Adeline." He stops my hand mid-air by grabbing it. "If it makes me appear as a coward to you, fine. But I'll protect my people anyway."
Fire was burning in his eyes and I know I really pissed him off. But I couldn't care less, I need to open his eyes, even if it annoys him. I want to prevent the war as much as he does, but his way isn't going to work. If we were up against a rational enemy, maybe it'd help to stay away. But she'll chase us to the end of the world and use Asher's running away in her case against him. And if he, God forbids, loses his heir immunity in the meantine, we'll damned.
"My mother will drag this trial long enough to get you at your weakest, at some point. Avoiding a conflict won't necessarily prevent the war. It might also favour it, as frequent, little earthquakes are always better than a devastating one that happens once in a lifetime."
"Why are you so sure that I'm going to lose the competition?" He asks and I frown.
"I didn't say that. I'm hoping you'll get the Throne, but when I meant weak I didn't necessarily implied that you'd be titleless." I explain, carefully. "Take me for example, I wasn't forsaken and I'm a hunter in my own right, but I hardly ever felt so limp, so redundant."
He looks surprised by my words and I continue, "I should be at my highest, as I'm out of my mother's house and living on my own terms, but it's quite the opposite. I hardly slept after Ancestors' Day, hardly eat or do anything else than staring mindlessly at the nothingness that hovers over my life. So Asher, at your weakest isn't necessarily means when you think you've lost a Throne or a title, but when you've lost yourself."
I reach for the doorknob again and I slightly open the door. "And keep in mind that your enemies will sense you exactly when you've reached your rock bottom, because they are sharks and our weaknesses beacon to them as blood in the water."
I enter my room and closed the door behind me. I listen carefully as he walks away and when I no longer hear his footsteps, I allow myself to let out the big sigh that I was keeping in. In the dead silence of my room, I fall down to the floor and started sobbing uncontrollably. I don't even know what I was weeping for, but I must have something to do with how shitty my life is. I kicked my boots off and crawled to my bed. My eyes shut immediately and I let the darkness engulf me. I could already sense the nightmares that will haunt every corner of my mind, but I couldn't mind less now.
Nothing can break me more than I already am anymore.