June 2040
Kara's POV:
It's staring at me, like literally staring. I shouldn't have done it. Why did I take the stupid book?
I hope to God he doesn't notice, but what if he does? I highly doubt that he writes in a diary every day.
But then again, I shouldn't assume.
I'm tempted to read it. I should read it, or else what the hell was the point in taking it? It's a thick black leather book. It looks somewhat worn, but largely unused. It's probably just filled with gaming or sports stuff.
I should try to return it--ASAP. Like right now.
"Kara!", mom calls from behind the door. "Open up!"
"Here I come", I reply. Oh lord.
I open the door to see her standing with her arms crossed, sporting a disapproving look. She's holding something: a rectangular pink and white box.
Wait.
"Mom, are you serious?", I slap my forehead. She can't be serious.
"You need to take this", she keeps her arms crossed with a firm look on her face.
"A pregnancy test?!", I ask in disbelief, "That's laughable!"
She's not laughing.
"Mom, and I'm being 100% serious when I say this, I am a virgin", I can't believe I had to come out as a virgin--this is embarrassing as hell.
She didn't ambush me with pregnancy tests when Jack and I would stay over each other's houses--this has something to do with Shawn.
I haven't even told her about the breakup.
She just nudges the test toward me.
"Take it", she demands.
"Fine, but you're gonna look real foolish when--"
"I'm going to look and feel relieved if it comes out negative", she affirms.
I sigh and go into the bathroom across the hall.
I pee on the stick and wait for the minute to pass. I can hear her tapping her foot on the other side of the door. She must be anxious.
Just for shits and giggles, I say, "Would it be so bad if I am pregnant?"
She stops tapping for a second and the silence is eerie.
"Stop joking around, Kara. And if you were pregnant, I'd be terribly disappointed with your breeding bad seeds into this family", she finishes. What?
"Bad seeds, mom, really? Who do you think I'm having sexual relations with?", I ask.
I'm amused, really.
"That boy you brought around the house the other day", she trails off.
"What?! According to you, I'm still with Jack", I say while dangling the test.
"According to me? Are you not still with him?", she asks seriously.
"Uh no", I say monotonously. "We broke up".
"Oh honey", she says.
"No mom, I'm not sad about it or anything", I pat my thigh, "It was mutual".
"What does the test say?", she shifts her position behind the door.
I open the cap to see only one stripe. Negative--duh.
"Not pregnant, of course", I say while rolling my eyes. I can feel her relieved sigh through the door.
I trash the test and wash my hands.
"I don't suppose you want to see the test for yourself", I joke, but she has her hand out.
I sigh and give it to her, passing her to go back to my room.
I have a missed text from Tiana.
Get to my house by 2. Pool Party.
Pool party? It almost sounds forbidden. Something normal.
I despise pool parties. My body dysmorphia says "No", but my desire to do something fun this summer says "Yes". Plus, Tiana's going to have all her "friends" there, and I'm single now so...
I will be pursuing that.
I should invite Shawn--really sell the friend thing.
Although I despise phone calls, I call him.
Immediately he picks up, "Hey loser".
"Shut up", I snap.
"I'm innocent", he says, "You called me first".
"Right", I tap my foot, "Would you be interested in...", I pause.
"Yeah?"
"Maybe coming to a pool party at about 2?", I ask hesitantly.
"You're inviting me to someone else's party?", he asks bluntly--frankly he sounds unappreciative.
"Fine, don't come. Wait, how do you know it's someone else's party?", I ask, suspicious.
"Tiana texted me earlier. It sounded like an automated text though. She probably accidentally included me in the mass text", he trails off.
"She definitely texted you on purpose", I laugh. "She likes you", I blurt. Maybe I shouldn't have told him that...
"What?!", he sounds horrified.
"She's still mad about your rejecting her at Andrew's party", I say.
"Why the hell would she like me?", he asks, confused.
"Why not? She wants someone to control", I reply.
"She's got the wrong guy", he chuckles.
We talk for about 30 more minutes, and I'm just realizing how funny Shawn is.
Then it gets serious, "I'm so sorry you and your mom had to go through your dad leaving", I murmur.
"I'm sorry. I know it's a touchy subject. I've just been thinking about it".
"No, it's fine. I'm used to his absence by now, but fuck him", he says.
"Also, I'm adopted", he adds.
"But you and your mom look so similar", I blurt.
"I-I mean", I stutter as he chuckles.
"What about us looks similar?", he's full-on laughing now.
"You-Your hair", I say.
"Sure", he says sarcastically. "Are you sure you're not making fun of my weight?", he asks.
"No! I would never. I swear", I whisper yell.
"Relax Vox, I'm kidding", he chuckles softly.
"Alright I need to get dressed and ready for the party. You're distracting me", I say after our laughter dies down.
"There's not much to put on. It's a pool party", he says.
"I know but I have to do stuff before", I trail off, "Whatever. Why am I explaining myself to you", I laugh.
"Bye", I say loudly before he can say another word, then hang up.
I close the door firmly behind me and make eye contact with the book.
I feel immense guilt for taking it now. It needs to go to its rightful home: Shawn's messy drawer.
If someone were to read my deepest thoughts, I would literally die. That's not an exaggeration.
I take the book and put it in my duffel bag. I'm returning it to him in person--no stalling.
I decide on a bright yellow bikini and plain sandals. The yellow complements my brown skin beautifully.
I know Tiana's gonna be dressed in accessories and layers of makeup, but her bathing suit alone will not be covering much--that's her thing.
I usually like to keep a conservative suit on. String-tied bikinis give me anxiety.
I like security, especially if I could potentially be embarrassed by someone playfully pulling my top.
I pack my bag with a change of clothes, water, and a protein bar.
Tiana's signature is to have loads of alcohol at her parties, so I gotta hydrate myself.
I head downstairs and to my car when mom stops me.
"I'm sorry about my harshness earlier", she says earnestly. "I just don't want you to end up", she pauses, "Somewhere you don't want to end up".
"And that is", I cross my arms.
"I'm gonna be frank", she shifts her stance, "I don't think you should be fooling around with that boy".
"Should I not hang out with Tiana? Jack? Maybe Kaylynn too?", I ask, raising my voice.
"I'm not saying you shouldn't have friends, just that they should have a good influence on you", she touches my shoulder.
"Tiana's a terrible influence", I say, "She's hosting a party where booze will be the only beverage available, and her house's rooms will be used as hotel rooms for teens", I blurt.
She's not surprised.
"That's what teens do", she shrugs. The double standards.
"Fine", I raise my hands, "I'm off, though. Bye".
I drive to Tiana's to see the party bumping.
I can hear the music before I even see her house.
"Hey babe", she greets me with a one arm hug.
"What's up. Got your text", I get out the car. "Did you invite Shawn?", I ask.
She clears her throat, "Yeah, he must have gotten grouped in in the mass text", she says nonchalantly.
"Mm-hmm", I reply.
She rolls her eyes, "Join the party! And put a real bathing suit on!".
This is a real bathing suit.
We walk up the staircase to her backyard where the pool lies.
She takes off her silk robe to get in the water and her bare ass confronts me.
I-
"Tiana!", I exclaim, "Cover that!", I point to her butt.
"Oh!", she waves me off, "It's a thong, relax". Like that was supposed to relax me.
The music is blaring and especially loud when you're right next to the speaker.
I pull off my shirt and take off my shorts, ready to get in, then he walks in.
Jack enters with his basketball friends and some cheerleaders trail behind. That would usually be me on his arm, but instead it's some backup cheerleader.
It's for the best.
I chuckle because of the irony. Shawn and I are friends, and Jack and I used to date, but they are so different from each other--it's pure irony.
I guess I'm the bridge between the two polar ends of my world.
"Hey", he murmurs to me after greeting Tiana. He hugged her so awkwardly, so as to avoid accidentally palming her bare ass.
"What's up?", I wave.
I'm not ready for this conversation, so I turn to the refreshment table. I need a drink.
To my surprise, Shawn is standing right behind the cooler of jungle juice. We meet again.
"You came", I smile.
"That's what she said", he laughs.
"Ha ha", I stretch out sarcastically.
"Why are you drinking at every party?", he chuckles.
"Hey!", I grab a cup, "I've only seen you at two parties, and people drink at parties", I shrug.
"Plus, I bring at least 2 bottles of water to hydrate myself--these things get crazy", I add.
He just smiles and shrugs. That rare smile. His blonde hair is tucked behind his ears, but most of it is wrapped in a bun.
I pour my drink and almost choke on it when he says, "So how should I tell Tiana?".
"Tell her what?", I ask, coughing up alcohol.
"That I don't want to be with her, or hookup with her in the near future--or ever", he tilts his head.
"You don't", I settle, "You let it die down. She'll move on to the next guy soon".
He shrugs, "If she doesn't, I'll pretend we're dating", he laughs.
"Hell no", I say, "Never. You'd ruin my rep".
He quiets and gets himself a drink. Damn, I wasn't serious.
"I meant that--"
"I know what you meant", he takes a swig.
"No, I didn't mean that you're socially below me or anything like that--I was joking", I nervously chuckle.
"Relax", he sips, "It's gonna take a lot more than that to hurt my feelings, Vox".
I laugh and turn to the pool. I'm about to reluctantly put a toe in to test the water when I feel the world disappear beneath me.
"Ahhh!", I scream.
"I said relax", he says assertively. Shawn!
"Shawn, I'm warning you", I say. Although, I think he can't take me seriously in this position.
He's holding me bridal style over the edge of the pool.
"I can't swim!", I exclaim.
"It's 5 feet", he laughs, throwing me into the water like a sack of potatoes.
The coolness of the water is a shock to my system. Once I get to my feet, I scream, "Shawn, I'm gonna get you, I swear!".
He just laughs in response--perfectly dry.
Jack is talking with some cheerleaders and staring daggers at Shawn.
Partygoers have migrated to the opposite side of the pool to avoid us. We were causing a ruckus.
I walk out the pool and shove him lightly. It doesn't faze him at all.
He just smugly asks, "How did you like the swim?".
"It was perfect", I respond sardonically.
Tiana puts on her robe and silently scurries into the sliding door at the side of her house, with her arms crossed in front of her.
Perhaps she's realized how much of her chest was out? Or she's getting something more revealing? I chuckle at the thought.
Shawn tosses me a towel.
"No thanks, I've got my own", I throw it back at him.
"Hey, let me pay you back for that impromptu splash", he chuckles sardonically.
I shrug and take the towel.
It smells like him. I catch myself sniffing it for too long and yank it down to my stomach to dry the water.
I open my duffel bag to check my phone, shielding it from his view because of a certain book.
Just out of habit and anxiety, I check for the black diary, and it's nowhere to be found.
I'm screwed.