I look around frantically because it could be anywhere around the bag. Maybe when I changed out of my regular clothes, it fell? I don't know.
"Are you good?", Shawn asks.
I guess I look pretty insane, scraping at the inside of my bag like a crazy person.
"Uh, yeah", I take a deep breath, "fine".
Who the hell could have taken it? Or maybe I left it at home? Or misplaced it? No. I checked my bag three times just to be sure. It has to be here.
Just as my luck is about to expire, Jack walks up, "Can we talk?"
"Now's not a good time", I huff, still scraping hopelessly at the bag.
"But I need to talk to you", he looks me and Shawn up and down, "And you don't look too busy", he reaffirms.
"Well, I am", I say, frustrated.
"I just", he runs his hands through his hair.
"She doesn't want to talk to you", Shawn interjects.
"I don't remember asking you", Jack inches closer.
"Alright, alright", I raise my voice, I almost have to become a human shield to separate them. I thought they were cool. Ish. What the fuck's going on?
"We're at a party, and it's summer", I try to relieve the tension. "Let's have fun and not pick petty fights".
Shawn shrugs, "I'm meeting a friend anyway. Enjoy the talk", and walks away. Somehow his annoyance seemed to be aimed at me?
I turn to Jack, "What?", I ask, annoyed. I really wish Shawn wouldn't have left. Now I have to suffer this excruciating conversation.
"We need to talk about Shawn", he crosses his arms. Here we go. "What the hell are you doing with that guy? Are you fucking him?"
The audacity of people sometimes, I swear. "Fu-What?! Fucking him? That's absurd. It's none of your business anyway".
"We need to go somewhere private to talk about this. It's serious", his voice lowers.
He sounds serious. I take this as a sign to follow him inside.
Tiana's house is massive because of her mom's job at the White House. Her mom, Jack's Dad, and my mom work together. They're all friends, and their childrens' friendship is a by-product of that. Her dad is our Geometry teacher, Mr. Smith. He could retire and become a house husband, but he likes to believe he has some independence outside of his relationship.
We head into one of the guest bedrooms, which has been repurposed for underage sex.
"Alright, I'm here. What's so serious? And if it isn't, I'm not talking to you for the rest of the night", I cross my arms.
"My dad or his one of his men spotted you at an anti-New World meeting", he blurts. He doesn't look up once, just spilling this knowledge out in one fell swoop.
"Your dad was spying on me? Wait till I tell--"
"Who, Kara? Who are you going to tell?", he moves closer to me, "You still haven't answered why you were at a rebel meeting".
"I-I wasn't", I stutter and look away. It definitely looks like I'm lying--straight through my teeth. "Why would I be someplace like that?", I ask innocently.
"I don't know, Kara. You've always seemed opposed to the New World somehow. I can't explain it, but you don't seem to fully believe", he says.
"I mean", I chuckle nervously, "Who really fully believes in any one thing?"
He doesn't look amused.
"Also who the hell cares about rebel groups? Freedom of speech, you know? Remember it?", I ask sarcastically.
"If your mom heard you speaking about--"
"What does my mom have to do with it? What are you gonna do? Tell on me?", I accuse.
"No. I don't want to get you in trouble. I love you", he says lowly.
I can't deal with this right now. I've moved on.
"Just", he sucks in his breath, "Let me take you on a date".
"I--"
"The movies, the mall, anywhere. I just miss you and I want to talk. I haven't really talked to you in over a week", he places a hand on my waist.
"Fine, but it's not a date", I cross my arms.
"Not a date", he sighs.
After a moment of silence he says, "You know any affiliation with these rumored groups could land you in one of the education camps".
I move out of his range of touch, "I already told you. I'm not in one of those groups". I haven't been fully initiated at least... "I'm gonna go back to the party", I point to the door, and leave him alone in the room.
Jack's POV:
I don't know how to keep up. I'm switching between too many different people. There's the me in front of my dad, the me in front of classmates, the me with Kara, the me with Jaden. It's getting exhausting. Do I love her? Do I love them? Do I love them both equally? I'm not equipped to deal with this.
What I can do is make sure she's safe from whatever group that Shawn kid might have gotten her tied up in.
I can make sure that dad's men don't get a hold of her.
Kara's POV:
I briskly walk--more like sprint--back to the pool. And Shawn's talking to some girl? I guess that's what he meant by "friend".
I approach them, "Hey, I'm Shawn's friend Kara", I wave.
She glances at me with a look of slight disinterest, "I'm Rochel".
He sweeps his hair back and shifts his stance. He's looking kind of nervous...
"Well, we're going into the pool", he guides Rochel by her waist. Hmm.
"To do what?", I ask.
"Swim", he says flatly. Right.
"Okay, I'll just be--", they've already drifted away into the pool, and I'm left alone.
Tiana's probably absorbed in some random guy, so no one to talk to. I could go find Jack, but I'm not that desperate. I settle for floating on my back.
The cool back of my body creates an equilibrium with the hot front. I feel serene for the first time in days. The party noises all mix together: the splashes in the pool, the music from the speakers, random conversations.
I don't know how long it is until my peaceful rest ends. But I suddenly feel a soft hand graze my calf, which jerks me awake.
"Ahh!", I yelp as I lose my balance. I end up fully soaked with wet curls draped over my forehead and face. The cool water is a shock to the front of my body.
Once I wipe my eyes, I see Shawn. Already annoyed, I ask, "Where's Rochel?"
"She's getting a drink, I guess. I don't know. I'm not her keeper", he shrugs.
"Okay, well I was just trying to relax", he pushes his wet hair away from his eyes, "Bye", I finish.
I rebalance myself on my back, and then I'm lifted from the water.
"Oh my God", I exclaim. I look down and I'm propped up on his shoulder. "Shawn, put me down!"
"Calm down", he says, walking us out the pool. Usually weight is supposed to feel heavier when exiting a body of water, but he carries me like I'm weightless. Which, trust me, I know isn't true.
I start kicking to resist this involuntary transportation, but he just pats my legs and tells me to calm down again.
"Where are we going?", I ask.
"Here we are", he says, as we arrive at one of the guest rooms. He puts me down, nudges me into the room, and closes the door behind us.
"Okay, why the hell am I here?", I ask--very annoyed. "It looks like we ran off to hook up or something", I complain, "I need to make it known that I am single, and you're hindering that".
"Trust me, no one's gonna believe I hooked up with you. You're safe for now", he chuckles.
"They could think we got drunk and made a mist--"
"Who fucking cares what people think?", he blurts. Me, I guess.
"So, again, why am I here?", I emphasize.
"What did you and Jack talk about?", he asks.
"None of your business", I cross my arms.
"I mean did he mention me at all?"
"Why would he mention you?", I ask.
"I don't know, but he gave off a weird vibe earlier"
"He actually did mention something serious", I say lowly.
"What?", his voice raises.
"He said that I was spotted by his dad or one of his dad's men at an anti-New World meeting. So either they know, or they suspect", I shift my stance nervously.
"This is--"
"I know", I murmur.
"So he thinks what? I'm involved with your change in beliefs?", he asks.
"I don't know if it's really as much a change as it's just a shift in--"
"So a change", he cuts me off. Fine a change.
I huff, "You didn't have to throw me over your shoulder like that, you know... again".
"It's fun", he smiles. "They're on high alert right now. So maybe you should just stay away from any group activity until their suspicions disappear".
"I don't want to miss any important conversations. We just need to push this friendship more--hang out more. If you properly met my parents and hung around my other friends more often, they'd trust you. Then bam, suspicions gone", I suggest.
"Ugh, I'd have to fit you in my schedule", he whines.
"Shut up", I punch his arm. "I'm serious about this, and I'm not letting my parents or anyone interfere because they're stuck in their ways".
He nods and rolls his eyes.
"Can we go back to the party now?", I plead.
"Fine. Party your heart out", he opens the door, following behind.
Tiana's coming down a flight of stairs when she spots us. Oh no. I know for a fact she's gonna throw a full on bitch fit if she thinks Shawn and I are hooking up. She doesn't even approach us, she just sashays over to the sliding glass door to the pool, and perches herself on some guys lap once she gets outside.
We pass the pool and go straight to the dance floor. It wasn't a literal dance floor, but a rectangular space, marked by long torches around the perimeter. A DJ plays remixes and his own personal mash-ups for the crowd.
Shawn and I melt into the dance crowd, matching their movements to avoid clashing body parts. This is fun. It's not our first time dancing together, but it's the first time half naked.
I'm dancing in a circle when an elbow flies toward me, flinging me back. I land in Shawn's arms, and the elbow apologizes.
"This is kinda like Andrew's party", he helps me up, "but more violent". I laugh.
I can spot Jack looking from afar; he has this longing look in his eyes. It could be sadness or anger--who knows what he's thinking. I really hope he's not considering to pursue this rebel group thing. I know for a fact that my parents would ship me off to a camp to teach the resistance out of me.
They'd die for the New World.
Suddenly one of my favorite songs plays: Feel So Close by Calvin Harris. It's from one of the best scenes in The Vampire Diaries. That Delena dancing scene. While watching, I knew they were in love then, as they accepted each other and showed full vulnerability that night.
Since watching that episode, I thought that if I ever felt those feelings for someone, I'd have a moment just like Damon and Elena, and that song would play--either in my head, or in real life.
Jack and I never had a Delena scene.
And now the song is playing, but instead of my true love, I'm with Shawn. He's not completely horrible, though, so the moment is still enjoyable.
He grabs my waist to steady me, as people are still rocking wildly within the crowd, and I place my hands on his shoulders. He smiles at that.
"Don't flatter yourself, I'm just trying not to fall", I roll my eyes dramatically.
"Sure", he says sarcastically.
We dance slowly for a while longer.
"This is one of my favorite songs", I say.
"Yeah, the vibes are calming. I like it", he replies.
We bob to the beat some more, and I work up the courage to ask what I've wanted to ask since he waltzed into the ice cream shop that first morning after I saw him at the meeting.
"Why are you so... unlike how you normally are?", I murmur. That didn't come out right. He looks confused. "I-I mean, why aren't you your normal timid self? You're very different now than how you are at school".
"I only show my friends the real me", he shrugs, "plus society doesn't really allow the real me to come out, especially while under a microscope at school. You're relatively different, too".
"Yeah, I guess. Less bitchy", I chuckle.
"Eh, maybe less bitchy in a mean sense, which I never thought you were really mean in the first place, but equally bitchy in the annoying sense", he smirks.
"Haha", I exaggerate.
And before logic clicks in, I get up on my tiptoes and plant my lips on his. What am I doing? All I know is his lips are soft and I hope he doesn't reject me in some foul way. That would be embarrassing as hell.
He opens his lips, accepting the kiss. I'm equally surprised as I am horrified because this makes my crazy leap of faith more tangible. And even though my song has ended, it's playing on a loop in my head.
Then, as I pull away, a heavy hand smacks me across the cheek.