LUIS
"Why the fuck are you telling me this now?" Rita grumbled throwing the phone in my face after viewing the message sent to me that began reigning havoc on the peaceful life my mother and I sought. A life that involved being open to the people around us and only judging people off the basis of their character.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
"I didn't want to worry you," I replied gripping the device tightly in my hands, she crossed her arms seeming not only unimpressed by the weak excuse but irritated. And I knew I should have said something sooner but this problem that appeared out of thin air made me on edge.
In the hate, we will prosper.
The minute my eyes landed on that message from an unknown number, I never knew fear could almost be so suffocating. Those words were once embedded into me by the man meant to lay down the foundations for what a man should be.
But he gave me the blueprint of how to be a monster.
Such that when I received that message in front of Tiana and Rita- I shut down. Felt a cloak wrap itself around me, pushing me to hide away and I had left them both without a word to find solace in a bottle.
Fortunately, depending on how one saw it, I didn't particularly like using alcohol as a form of comfort. Such that using what was left of my better judgement I found myself going to Tiana to seek comfort in her arms. I hadn't thought too much into it.
However, it was the best fucking decision I had made as of late.
But at the same time, it only tightened the strings of desire I had for her to the point being away from her made me somewhere between antsy and excited just thinking about her. I was treading on dangerous grounds by playing this game and dragging her further into my world.
Like I said- I'm selfish.
"So what do we do now?" Rita's voice interrupted my thoughts, I looked up at her. It often amazed me just how far we both came in our relationship. Although I had been against my mother's relationship with her father, it turned out to be one of the best things that ever happened to me.
I had a family in the end, a real one.
I would do anything to protect them. I rubbed my temples as if that action will somehow play a crucial part to aid me in finding the solution to this problem." I don't know. Maybe we're overreacting, the guy is in jail. He can't hurt us or anyone else anymore."
"That text says otherwise. But it's up to you if you think ignoring this will work," she mumbled softly. When I made no move to respond she sighed heavily. Frustrated as much as I was and seeing her this affected was one of the reasons I loved her, She had no hand in any of this but with the way she feared for me as if she was equally involved was a comfort. If I was to die, I'd look back on this life with no regrets after having real love surround me.
"You know, I thought once he went to jail that was it. And now this message just had to mess things up."
"You should talk to dad or Uncle Logan. It could be from someone else."
I scoffed at the absurd suggestion and she frowned at my response," He had no one else in his life, no surprise there if you think about it. So I strongly doubt anyone would be doing this. And dad is retired; I don't want to worry him or our uncle for that matter."
"Have you told her?"
Rita never had to say her name for me to know whom she was referring to. I suddenly felt exhausted and found my body leaning against the kitchen counter in her home knowing that I had barely scratched the surface into my past. She took my silence as confirmation as she shook her head, not bothering to hide her disappointment.
"Luis-"
"I know, but it's not easy to just say it. And you've had all this time to say something."
She raised her hands," It's not as if I'm related to the asshole. And it would come across as messed up. She'll think I've only treated her the way I have because of it," she clarified taking a seat.
Blowing out a harsh breath I knew she was right. She's not related to the bastard.
I was.
And I was smart enough to put things perfectly into line to see that she and Tiana were on good terms with one another. And considering how my sister had few female friends, I understood her hesitation to say anything. She eyed me quietly and between us both, I wasn't the best at hiding my emotions.
She tilted her head in thought before she pointed in my direction, a hint of suspicion in her eyes," You like her."
And the smile that involuntarily plastered itself onto my face made her eyes widen before she released a squeal that had me rolling my eyes. Something I hardly did.
"Please don't start," I groaned making a move to leave the room before she began her awful taunting and teasing. It was hard to believe sometimes she was the oldest between us.
She followed right on my heel, leaving no room for me to breathe, still wearing a wide grin," I'm serious, Rita," I mumbled.
"I haven't even said anything," she whined but I knew her tactics well enough." I just think it's cute you have a crush."
"Shut up!" I groaned plopping on her couch whilst she sat across from me, watching me with amusement as if she could see something I couldn't. The longer she quietly observed me, the scowl of indifference I wore cracked when she playfully winked in my direction and I could feel a smile stretch across my cheeks.
"I've only seen you blush a handful of times. This must be serious," she laughed but the look quickly diminished after a while to one that was thoughtful as she pursed her lips.
"What does that look mean?"
"It means telling her is going to be a lot harder for you."
"Don't remind me."
"But honestly, Lu. Why is it so important you tell her? It's not as if what happened was your fault anyway."
"But I did have a chance to stop him," I replied shifting in my seat at the painful fragment of a memory dancing around in my head. Torturing me knowing I could have changed the outcome.
"How were you to know that he was going to end up doing that?"
"Rita. . ."
"No, Luis! I'm tired of watching you treat yourself as if you're the one who pulled the trigger!" she bit back and I immediately found solace in staring at the floor. In as much as I told myself that it wasn't my fault or that I had no hand in it, another part felt like I should've picked up on the fact that something was amiss.
"I-I know I shouldn't. . . But it won't cause the guilt I feel to stop taunting me."
She kept a steady gaze on me and I could tell she pitied me. It was the same look she gave me the more we got to know one another when establishing the bond we had now. It was hard at first to tell anyone else about the life I once lived and somehow Rita managed to offer a sturdy shoulder for me to lean on- never ridiculing me for any of it. It was hard not to love her and in turn be willing to offer aid to her when she went through a hardship.
But she eventually nodded her head when she saw how sure I was about my decision as she muttered," Okay. . . I won't stand in your way. I just hope you don't ever live to regret this."
My face softened and I stood up to kneel before her grasping her hands in a gentle but firm grasp. She stared down at me, the same worry-filled expression that our mother used to give us when her motherly fears stirred," I'm sure about this."
"You're a good person," she smiled," I know you doubt it sometimes but it didn't take any of us having to share the same blood with you to know that."
And deep down I knew that those words would never leave me, even if I tried. I'd never forget that it takes a lot more than blood for people to call each other . . . family.