TIANA
The light draft whipped across me making me shiver at the unexpected chill. I rubbed my arms littered with goose bumps scanning through the desks. Wondering which one fit my price range.
I finally overcame procrastination and hauled my ass out of the apartment. There was only so much abuse my coffee table could take.
Feeling relieved at finally purchasing the much needed piece of furniture that would be delivered at my apartment; I sauntered out of the shop. Idly looking through the different stores that lined my path.
It's only when I came across a shop that seemed to be selling art and different antiques from what the items on the window display showed that I stopped mid-step. And without much thought I entered the shop. Eyes widening unconsciously at the exciting the number of colors decorating the place. The masks ranging in size and shape to pots with pulchritudinous patterns on their body captivated me to fall in love.
And as if that feeling wasn't enough, when I saw a painting of a waterfall condensed in colors of dark orange from the sun.
Smiling, I felt it.
The heat kissing my skin, the wind caressing me as if a lover of mine and I tried to conjure up what it would be like, smell like to be there. To see that vast waterfall in close range-
"Tiana," rapidly blinking my eyes, I felt my feet touch the surface of the ground back onto the land of reality to cock my head to the side, to find Rita outside waving at me.
And surprise, surprise, he was there too.
His narrowed eyes, curled lip along with a stiff posture were hard to miss even from my position in the store. The anger directed toward me was reciprocated with a blank stare. I knew he was upset from what I did, but I felt justified in my actions that night. How dare he think he could intrude on me anytime he pleased?
Judging from Rita's broad smile revealing her dimpled cheeks, she was unaware about the tension brewing between us. Stepping out of the store I plastered on a genuine smile specifically intended for her not paying much mind to the daggers being thrown at me.
"Hey."
"I'll be honest the only image I have of you in my head is at the office. It's actually quite strange seeing you out here," she lightly joked. He remained silent, his eyes piercing my skin.
I kept my eyes trained on her despite still having a view of him from the corner of my eye," I really don't expect myself to be viewed in such a way. But with the case. . ." I drifted off.
"It's okay. Despite the glitz and glamour that most people see of lawyers- the work is a shitload. There's nothing sexy about doing legal research."
Even if I wanted to hold it- the laughter tumbled out of me knowing that it was true. The power of media could fool anyone into believing that being a lawyer was a badass job- don't get me wrong it was. But the amounts of drama one sees on TV shows as opposed to reality are two things that share no similarities with the other.
"You need to do that more, you know?"
Quirking my brow at what she meant, she clarified," Laugh more. Something tells me you don't do it as often as you should."
I nervously chuckled tucking the few loose strands behind my ear, a force of habit that developed over the years as a coping mechanism when I felt awkward.
"You're coming out with us tonight," she stated in a tone that left no room for protest. Eyes wide, I bit the inside of my cheek.
"So I don't even get the luxury of choosing?" The older woman smirked, briefly glancing in his direction. His expression remained bored if not disinterested until she jabbed his side causing him to place his attention on me giving me a full view of his pewter eyes.
"When you're given choices you have a tendency to choose the wrong one," he grunted out crossing his arms. I rolled my eyes at the hidden meaning behind his words.
Narrowing his eyes on me, the tension thickened between us, and no doubt there was no mistaking the hostility now. Her eyes switched between us, obviously confused at his words pushing us to nearly rip each other's throats out.
Yes- I called the security guard.
How was I, to know things would have taken such the turn it did?
"Okay . . . am I missing something?" she gestured innocently towards us, he scoffed and walked away. Leaving me to awkwardly stutter out some excuse. Falling short I just waved my hand dismissively at his retreating form and quickly changed the subject.
"Where are we off to tonight?" Upon hearing my words, a smile cracked across her lips whilst my insides slowly twisted and turned at the anxiety I felt.
Everything was going to be fine I'm sure.
***
There was a surge of lively energy amongst the groups of people, laughter tumbling out of the bright faces dimming the glow from the stars. That must be what living was like? Smiling over the small moments we had to escape from the mundane world of adulthood.
I was nervous, excited- in a nutshell I was a strange cocktail of emotions. He stood a few inches in front of me whilst Rita stood close to my side. I had told myself before coming out that I had to be cordial for the sake of not ruining everyone else's time to let loose. Such that I gave him a tight lipped smile in his direction when we met up and he returned it with a slight nod.
I was convinced that would be the most we'd say to one another for the rest of the night.
Moving amongst the sea of bodies drenched in sweat, high off the buzz of ecstasy, we navigated our way up the stairs. From the view we had from the balcony the flashing lights had my blood pumping, although we had settled into our seats.
"You good?" Rita asked over the blasting music, I nodded my head in response catching the subtle glance he gave me. Placing my attention back on the dance floor, I felt a goofy smile emerging at the last time I was ever in a club.
Tim was there.
Drunk out of his mind, throwing back more shots that burned the way we did as we celebrated. I had turned the big 21.
"I-I wanna jump off the fucking roooof," he slurred throwing his fists in the air. I giggled uncontrollably, moving my body in sync to the beat losing myself to the bass that came out in waves of numerous colors.
I could care less who was watching.
I was free.
Floating, reaching new levels of freedom whilst my mind stomped its feet proudly- taking in the promises said of a wild blue yonder being in placed into my hands
Drink in hand, the liquid moved down my throat easing my tense posture slightly. Rita was on the dance floor and despite her insistence; I wasn't in the right state for that, not yet at least. But it meant I'd have to deal with him alone.
He kept glancing in my direction, taking slow sips of his drink, if it wasn't for the music there would have been an unsettling silence strong enough to make us both edgy for lack of a better word.
"Are you ever going to do it?"
I glanced in his direction. He wasn't looking at me but I'm sure he sensed my gaze since he snapped his head in my direction, squaring his jaw.
"What?"
"Apologize," he replied calmly taking another slow sip of his drink, but I wasn't a fool I knew he was still livid. But despite being armed with that knowledge didn't stop me from rolling my eyes anyway.
"Like I said before- I'm not some charity case for you. Maybe that shit works with other people," I stated finally looking him in the eye," but with me, I won't stand for it."
"You could have simply told me that before getting the guard to use a fucking Taser on me," he sneered moving forward, the chords in his neck bulging.
People have gone through worse.
"I tried to be nice but you're too dense to take a hint. So what would you have me do?" I replied crossing my legs in the process. At the action, his head momentarily dropped to my legs and I could see his hands ball into fists.
"You're lucky I chose to keep that night to myself."
"Oh! You want me to get on my knees and thank you for having a heart, Luis?" I mocked throwing my arms in the air. Yes, I was being dramatic but what took me off guard was the smile that suddenly appeared on his face. A wide grin, revealing a row of perfect teeth and I tilted my head in confusion at the unexpected reaction. I was beginning to wonder if this guy was stable.
"That's the first time you've said it," he said, when he noticed my failure to grasp what he was alluding to he chuckled placing his glass onto the table along with his focus on me," my name. All this time you'd never said it . . . until now."
The second he mentioned that I realized that indeed this had been the first time his name had slipped past my lips. Mouth gaping, I snapped it shut shifting my gaze to the drink in my hand when his piercing gaze shifted over my form. I didn't particularly like the way his eyes raked over me, nor the flutters in my belly.
It's been too long since I've been touched.
That's the only reasonable explanation. His lips quirked, entertained above anything at my discomfort the longer he looked at me. No longer able to deal with his gawking, I sighed out in annoyance.
"What?" I shrugged with a bit of an attitude. He managed to keep his stare blank contemplating his choice of words.
"It's believed those who are angry only have a battle within themselves. And in as much as one is advised to leave them and walk away," he paused rubbing his chin in thought," I find myself willing to ignore the warning signs on your frame for what was once done," he muttered and the look in his eye unnerved me, I shifted, unable to remain still in my seat.
When I leaned forward to place my glass on the table, I caught a whiff of his unique redolence. The scent was quite musky and it oddly reminded me of Tim in a way that momentarily offered me a bizarre type of comfort.
A kind of comfort that for years had me escaping the frame of the reserved portrait I had painted. Tim was the only one who could make me act crazy; to dance like no one was watching. Staring at the people moving frantically on the floor I nearly giggled at the funny, exaggerated facial expressions on some people's faces expressing elation at the music.
I envied that.
I really wanted that.
I stood up without much thought, ready to order another drink ignoring my name being uttered from his lips.
No longer interested in hearing what he had to say.
Leaning casually on the bar I waited patiently for the bartender only to feel a tap on my shoulder.
I turned to find a man smiling at me. He was decent looking from what I could make out from the flashing lights. But even the camouflage the lights offer failed to hide the scar that ran across his cheek tainting the rest of his porcelain skin. And given the short buzz cut he sported, it gave him a tough guy appeal that most would find attractive.
But I wasn't one of them.
I stared down at his mouth. Saw it moving, much of what he said failed to reach my ears except for the offer of him buying me a drink.
Giving a faux smile even though I hadn't been paying attention to what he said I replied as sweetly as possible with a simple," No thanks."
His smile dropped immediately and I wasn't one to stand around to watch an awkward situation unfold, turning around in the hopes of gaining the bartender's attention.
If only I had eyes in the back of my head to have seen what was taking place.
Moving around, the sound reverberated off the walls. The drinks had finally taken their effect on me; Rita was elated to see me on the dance floor instead of being glued to my seat. The old me had broken loose tonight, and I embraced the giggles that escaped my lips. Relieved of not having to think of the pain or sadness that felt permanently stuck to me as I swiveled my hips- felt the music move over me to the point I could touch it with my fingertips.
Until it happened-
A sudden change of pace.
A sudden misstep in time's steady rhythm.
Vision blurred, growing gazed- the floor spun...
A numbness began spreading from my feet, rapidly moving through my body
Panicking I moved quickly towards the wall, leaning against it for some form of support, my mind trying to figure out what was happening to me. Opening my mouth I tried to call over Rita- anybody to help me before the numbness took full control over my body.
It's not long before I felt my body being tugged upwards without much effort. Only to come face to face with dark, soulless pools of the stranger from before wearing a cynical grin that conveyed the evil he had in store for me.
No!
The word I had avoided saying suddenly became the one thing I was desperate to say. I felt myself moving, my legs and arms no longer my own.
No!
Please no!
The sounds drowned out, sounds blocked, words sinking in my throat too weak to reach my mouth. I felt myself cowering away in the recesses of my mind to only watch from a mirror quickly getting fogged up by the smoke.
My skin kissed the floor- at least that's what I thought it was.
I tried to reach out only to be met with the cold air and as my eyelids grew heavier I caught the stranger pinned against the wall by an oddly familiar bulky frame. As the darkness calmly called out my name.
It seduced me to succumb to it.
Till all I breathed was it.
***
Soft.
Warm, silk kisses.
It stroked my body with a tenderness that was hard to find. Moaning in satisfaction, I stretched my body across the cloud I had the pleasure of laying on, prepared to remain on it forever.
Prepared to re-enter a dreamless sleep, it dawned on me- since when had my bed ever been this soft? Sitting up, I'm faced with a foreign landscape I had no memory of stumbling upon in the first place. Panicking, my heart tripled in speed as I tried gathering my thoughts of the previous night. Groaning out when I came up blank, falling to find any reasonable explanation of just how I wound up in this room. A bit disoriented I sighed out in relief when I found my form still clad in my dress.
Other than that I had no aches or found any visible signs that something was out of place when my hands roamed over my form. Taking a few calming breaths at the realization that nothing had happened throughout the night.
Swinging my legs to the side, my feet made contact with the plush carpet on the floor, if I wasn't terrified I would have taken time to appreciate the decor that drenched the room. Taking shaky steps, antsy and alert, I was relieved at the sight of my heels and purse that laid on a chair.
The relief washed away at the sound of the doorknob twisting leading my heart to drop down and settle in my stomach. Moving frantically around the room I grabbed the nearest object.
Holding the umbrella in my hands, I tightened my grip around it as the door widened to reveal his face. He faltered, his grey orbs soaking in my defensive pose. In the bright light I could see the faint purple color around his right eye.
I secretly hope I did that to him.
The damaged eye along with the left rolled in annoyance as he moved further into the room holding a tray of food in his hands. I was dumbfounded as to how I ended up here- in what I could presume was his home.
Why is this happening to me?
How did this even happen?
Whenever I drank I had never become so intoxicated to the degree I'd have no recollection of the previous night. He moved past me, not the least bit intimidated. Once he placed the food on the table, his lack of a reaction made me loosen my grip around the umbrella but not too much in case he tried anything.
"It's been a long night. Why don't you put down your weapon and eat?" he suggested plopping onto the sofa, his expression neutral as his eyes moved over me. I remained rooted by the same spot, hesitant and afraid. Biting my quivering bottom lip I began shifting around, feeling overwhelmed at my irresponsibility. I knew he could see the emotions running rampant throughout my body when his face softened.
"Tiana," he said gently but clearly," please sit down." I spared a glance at the door he left wide open and debated with myself.
I could grab my things and run.
However, I wanted answers; I needed answers for what happened. When I glanced at him sitting there, I swallowed hard pushing the doubt aside.
I hope I don't live to regret this.
I took a seat across from him, keeping a distance between us. Playing with my fingers I began rubbing circles into my open palm to calm myself down as I took slow steady breaths through my nose.
He placed a plate of food in front of me, and though the food looked appetizing. It was the last thing on my mind and how he's composure despite the strangeness of this situation irked me such that no longer able to bear the dead silence that was suffocating me I blurted out," What happened last night?"
There wasn't much I knew about this man, the only adequate strategy I had in order to at least anticipate his actions was through being a lot more attentive to his body movements. His body tensed, straightening up, his hands balled into fists. His eyes darkened, a fiery look making his brows crease in concentration whilst the chords in his neck bulges. It made me edgy witnessing this side of him.
Clenching his jaw, he stood up abruptly and began pacing in front of me; he ran his hand frequently through his hair till he stopped pacing to stare me down. His six lot height more profound as he towered over me, making me feel small.
"Someone-" he hesitated running a hand down his face before he replied in a frustrated tone," some asshole drugged you."
I held my breath.
The words sinking in of the nightmare I was almost close to enduring,
Each second passing by the look of sympathy he gave me- I was shocked. But above all I was disappointed in allowing myself to be placed in such a dangerous position.
"I should have said no," I whispered as the tears spilt from my eyes, I wrapped my arms around myself feeling so exposed, naked under his watchful eye. Unfortunately, I couldn't hold back the river of tears from spilling if I begged them to.
"Going out was a mistake," I shook my head vigorously feeling so frustrated about this ordeal- of how the one time I attempted to step out of my shell this happened.
The feel of a hand on my back rubbing soothing circles made me jump up in surprise. I hadn't even heard him move to retake his seat to offer some form of comfort. The warmth radiating from his hand soothed me slightly.
"It wasn't a mistake- if you develop such a form of thinking you won't ever want to step foot in places like that again. It's not fair for you to stop yourself from feeling an ounce of stimulation that could lead to making unforgettable memories whilst predators like him roam free," he mumbled staring at me, giving me a look that for once did not make me want to disappear simply because there was a kindness there I hated to admit was there.
"So nothing. . . you know?" I shuddered afraid to finish that question.
"No," he said with conviction," I saw you talking to the guy," he clenched his jaw once again, I could see how much this was bothering him, but he proceeded to tell me." When I noticed you leaning against the wall, I saw him touch you and I knew that something was off. You may not be fond of me, but I couldn't stand idly by whilst someone attempted to take advantage of you. No one deserves that."
"Thank you," the words just slipped out, effortlessly without much thought and yet I meant it. If he hadn't intervened who knows what would have happened to me.
He nodded his head smiling, I could see there was more he may have wanted to say; at least I was given that impression. He looked away for a split-second seeming to contemplate something before he dropped his hand off my back, detaching himself physically from me.
"You need to eat," he stated pushing the plate toward me. I opened my mouth prepared to protest but the hard look he sent my way snapped my mouth shut. I picked up the fork and took a bite of the food. The chuckle that entered my ears had me glancing in his direction to find him watching me with what I could only describe as mild surprise.
"Well would you look at that."
"What?" I asked after swallowing down some of the eggs.
He shook his head, his lips turned upwards whilst his eyes held a certain gleam in them," You are capable of making a good choice."