All the house could talk about was the date. Of course, I left out the pond part to my mother but previously filled Lizzy in last night. Everything was beautiful, sweet, and too much for me. I nodded my head at my response that was practiced all night and gulped my orange juice.
Bentley texted me every now and then but allowed me to have the space I needed. This was all entirely new to me and somehow, someway Bentley knew it. My mother smiled.. I knew she silently understood. I was just fourteen anyway.
I didn't have to exactly date Bentley to be associated with him or friends with him. We could really take it slow. Lizzy also understood and thank God for that. The most important thing was would Bentley understand? He was sixteen and I knew he had other options, but would he truly understand?
Would he accept the fact that things could only go slow from here? That even though I showed the map to the chest did not mean he could find the location, dig me up and explore my goodies. My mother reassured me that moving on my time was safe. That was more than enough reassurance for me.
Bentley and I hung out almost every day after school. If we were not together we were texting. If we were not texting we were talking on the phone. We became so close over the past two months. Eventually, he asked me to be his girlfriend, which caused us to become closer than we already were.
He was an absolute gentleman when it came to coming over for dinner and talking to my mother and friends. Everything was perfect apart from the discussions about having sex with him. I just wasn't ready and besides, I was just too young. Every now and then he would become slightly agitated and a little pushy?
Then the waterworks would start when I wanted to leave or go home. He was just frustrated, he felt like I didn't want him but I tried my best to show him, my love. However, at this point in the relationship, Bentley wanted sex and I guess if he didn't get it from me he was eventually going to get it from someone else.
I just wish I would've left then.
***
Normally, Bentley would've called me before leaving practice on a Friday but for some reason he didn't call me. I attempted to call his phone twice but both times they went straight to voicemail, which was also strange being that he always answered my phone calls. After an hour I decided to call his mother who reassured me that he was at practice since her car was still gone.
Instead of telling her that his practice ended an hour ago I quickly thanked her and proceeded to the bathroom. I quickly placed my hair in a bun and slowly wiped the sweat from my face. I was flustered. Lizzy walked in on my 'get-together'.
We simply exchanged a couple of words on what I was going to do and where I was going. Before I could finish the whole situation Lizzy was dressed and ready for the fake try-outs. I took one last glance at myself before approaching my mother who was leaning against the counter on the phone.
Her brown boots complemented her chocolate brown pants suit. My mother's hair hung slightly on her nose fully exposed by her glasses.
"I have to go to school to cheer try-outs. Can you drop Lizzy and me off?"
My mother raised her eyebrows as if she couldn't believe Lizzywas going for try-outs as well.
Instead of voicing her suspicion she nodded her head, grabbed her keys, and motioned for us to follow. Silently we followed. We knew the risk, Lizzy knew the risk of lying to my mother. The closer we got to the school the faster my mind started to wonder was he even worth this shit.
Apart of me knew my father would disapprove. However, could be I delusional? Could I have caught feelings too fast? Too strong?
I started to question was this even worth the woman I could be? The young lady my parents worked so hard to raise. Was the love Bentley declared for me false? My mind was racing before my eyes got close enough to see anything. Lizzy placed her hand on my shoulders as if she could feel my discomfort in the air.
My mother kissed us goodbye with a message to ring her up when we were ready. I quickly dismissed her and headed towards the men's locker room. Every step, every single step was heavier than the next. I knew he was here because I saw his mother's car in the lot. Next to her car was a light grey sedan with pink decorations on the inside.
The doors to the locker room were locked but that did not stop me from banging on the door uncontrollably. I didn't know what came over me but I couldn't stop banging. Eventually, Bentley came to open the door. Instead of talking to him I quickly mashed him in the face and shoved the door open.
A blonde-haired female with tan skin in her bra and panties standing in the corner with his t-shirt covering the front of her. I wanted to hit her. I wanted to take my frustrations out on the woman who placed the attention I had onto herself. The urge was strong, however, I knew better. I quickly swung and right hooked Bentley.
Before he could say anything I stormed off. I couldn't breathe even if I tried. The further away from the school that I walked the cloudier my vision became. The hurt, pain, and betrayal begging to be let out through hot tears but I refused to budge.
I refused to allow myself to cry over a little boy slightly older than me. Lizzy was right on my heels as we made our way closer to home. Maybe she has her fair share of experiences and pains. Some even unwilling but naturally shared pain between her mother and herself. However, this pain was different.
Not like a loss or death but an ultimate slap in the face. To even think that a young girl like me, new in this town could actually pull sixteen years old and have him wait. I should've known that he would go out here and seek from another. I should've known.
Of course, Bentley attempted to call and text my phone but I wasn't budging, not one bit. Lizzy blocked his number from her phone and I did the same. We decided to keep our distance from him. I guess it's true what they say about boys being children.
You can tell them no a million times before taking away the toy but of course, children have a mind of their own. So what do they do? Continue with the unwanted behavior leading to the toy being taken away. Of course, to get the toy back after tantrums they will listen. The real question is what happens when you give the toy back but the child didn't learn the lesson?
I shrugged at my own thoughts. I was lost in them, tightly wrapped in bubble wrap rolled with questions of 'whys?" that was far from being released when popped. I knew better than to marinate too long in my pot of overcooked thoughts but I knew this was going to be the end of us.
This was to end right here and right now. I saw the red flags, my God I saw them early and ignored them. I knew as soon as word spread around the school and to my mother things would most definitely have to be over.
I knew everything was over especially with Bentley and his aggressiveness that only seemed to come out when he couldn't get what he wanted.
If that was the case I was to deal with it when the situation came about. I couldn't feel bad for trying to love someone in the right way and their way was through sex. That was not the way to go and even I knew it. Eventually, I had to turn my phone off completely.
Bentley went from apologizing to threatening me, to even placing the blame on me for him going out here and cheating with another girl.
It was like this boy came up with something new every week on how the cheating was my fault. At this point, I was starting to think the boy was delusional. Yet, this was the price that he would have to pay.
I don't do seconds and I am no one's second. If he refused to go about me the right way then we were to have no way to talk.
That simple.