It has literally been a month and a half since I last talked to Bentley and I was okay with that. After week three he eventually caught the hint that I wasn't budging. Don't get me wrong things were slightly different but I branched out more. I started hanging out with Lizzy and her friends more.
I also started cheering again. It was almost as if this heartbreak was meant to happen. It gave me that extra boost needed to explore myself, my options, and the things that truly interest me. Of course, Bentley and I would bump into each other every now and then being that we were both athletes.
That didn't stop me however from continuing to branch out. Especially when I caught the eye of the opposing team. Nothing serious just a smile and a wave always held them off. Don't get me wrong I was branching out but not relationship-wise and some guys didn't get that. So a wave and a smile were enough to branch out and keep them contained.
Lizzy also managed to find a boyfriend of her own. His name was Johnathan and he played football for the other school located a couple of minutes away from our own.
They were good together.
He helped her realize things about herself that she didn't know. He was sweet to the both of us and every now and then when they got burgers after the game-day they would drag my poms along with them. Honestly, things were starting to fall in place again strangely.
My mother even started trying to live her life outside of the pain of losing my father. She wasn't running away this time. Dating was yet to be in the mix for her but the simple conversation was enough for me. I wanted to see her happy again and either way, she was going to be..
Just in her time of course.
Things were okay and for some reason, I wasn't okay. I mean I was okay but I felt like things were a little too okay. Almost like at any give moment something bad or overtop was bound to happen. No one else seemed to feel the worry I was constantly building within myself.
Maybe they noticed how I react to change.
Possibly everything was normal and I was overanalyzing things. I could easily do that without trying. Things as such came naturally to me especially stressing. However, instead of entertaining me Johnathan and Lizzy headed towards the truck and I followed.
That night Bentley knew better and if he needed to learn any lessons when it came to girls then I was okay being the one to give it to him. I quickly closed my drawer with my phone in it as it started to light up with another message from Bentley. I shook my head and allowed sleep to take over.
***
"Did you even get any kind of sleep last night?"
Lizzy asked as she waited for my response with concerned eyes. I slowly shook my head as I closed the door to my locker.
"Bentley wants to talk."
I slowly prepared myself for the sour response Lizzy was sure to have. After everything that transpired between us and from what she witnessed she was not a fan of Bentley.
"I don't see why his number wasn't blocked." She scrunched her face up in disgust.
"He should have no reason or way to talk to you. - but that's my opinion."
She shrugged her shoulders and started texting on her phone.
I shook my head, "If it helps, I didn't respond to any of his messages."
Lizzy smiled and nodded her head in satisfaction. However, she didn't bother to even ask me why the whole situation kept me up. I didn't quite understand myself so maybe it was a good thing Lizzy left it how it was.
Eventually, I went through every class with the intention of not speaking to Bentley and completely freeing myself. I couldn't let him have a hold on me when he didn't deserve to. I stretched my shoulders as I bent down to retrieve the items that I purchased out of the vending machine.
I thought that maybe if I replayed the scene of what happened over again that somehow it could keep me from allowing him back in. However, it wasn't fair to me to revisit the pain that I had finally overcome. So instead of revisiting old pain, I settled for the bag of Doritos and a sprite.
The walk to my locker was cut short, well maybe the food made the walk shorter but by the look on Lizzy's face, I was snacking more than I was pacing down the hallway.
"You're late girlfriend. We have to be ready and out front, for Johnathan to pick us up." She folded her arms as I tried to give her a Dorito.
"Johnathan would have a fit and park his truck before he gets upset for us being late." I shrugged and tossed my trash into the recycling bin nearby.
"You go ahead and go with Johnathan and I will catch up with you two later." I was confident in my wording but Lizzy wasn't having it.
"How about we go hang out at the park until you're finished up at the school, you call me and we will come to pick you up."
This time she nodded her head in confidence and hugged me goodbye eating the Dorito that I was about to put into my mouth.
I silently laughed to myself and gulped the rest of my sodas as I headed back to my locker to get the rest of my things. As I made my way to my locker Bentley's head came into view. Of course, the girl he fornicated with, held the same confusion on her face as I.
What the heck was he doing near my locker? I placed my earbuds in my ears and walked around both of them. Balloon and flowers stared me right in the face as I opened my locker.
"Hell no." - Stranger girl and I seemed to say at the same time. I closed my locker and started walking towards the exit of the school.
I could've called Lizzy but I needed the fresh air. Besides, it was only a ten-minute walk. Instead of Bentley walking the other way he continued to follow me with that girl right on his trail. The hot mama was determined to figure out what Bentley wanted with me and she was serious.
I tried to pick up the pace on walking but that pushed Bentley harder but forced the stranger girl to slow down. However, she never turned around and it was causing my curiosity to peak.
Yet, the music continued to blare and my feet continued walking. Bentley grabbed my forearm and snatched one of the earbuds out of my ear.
"You are driving me crazy Angel. What else do you want me to do?"
I stared at him as the girl made her way back to the school.
"You are crazy my dude and mad disrespectful. I don't even know who you are." I snatched my arm and stared at him as he returned the look with a blank stare.
"Angel she was a one-time thing and literally just a friend. She's jealous of you Angel."
He looked at me with a pleading eye but high frustration by the way his nostrils flared.
"Bentley I'm not stupid. I am young, there is a difference." I turned back around and started walking towards the park that was slowly coming into view.
"Can I at least text you?" He yelled after me as if he was deciphering on following me or letting me go.
"Asking never stopped you before." I continued walking but projected my voice loud enough to be heard.
Bentley was silent for a few seconds,
"Can you at least reply when I text you?" I raised a thumb up trying to keep the same pace before replying with a fulfilling okay.
Lizzy and Johnathan soon came into view as I walked towards the truck. Both were grinning excitedly as if they knew something I didn't. However, I knew it was just a reaction to their fresh new relationship.
Bentley and I were unable to finish out or even truly enjoy our honeymoon puppy dog phase before all of this mess occurred. I silently shook my head to myself with hopes that thoughts of Bentley would banish. Yet, I knew that once I replied to his text messages things were either going to be good or bad.
Whatever the case I had no choice but to be prepared and make choices based on what was beneficial to me. I leaned my head against the window allowing its coolness to lower the temperature of my body raised by overpowering thoughts.
I must have dozed off because the music breaking the silence surrounding me caused my heart to spike. Immediately, I became alert and slowly started inspecting my environment.
Instead of the sign welcoming us to the zoo we were in a middle-waged but high-class neighborhood. I lowly groaned as I continued to look around noticing no cars in the driveway but the one we were in.
I lowly groaned once more. "I thought we were going to the zoo?" I used a questionable but childish tone.
Lizzy laughed and promised me that the zoo would be our next destination.
"Girl, this is Johnathan's cousins' house. He's Johnathan's age and he's going out with us to the zoo and to eat." She turned around and grinned.
Immediately I sprung forward, "Oh no boo kitty! What are you trying to do?"
I wanted to laugh more than anything at the fact that I knew the game these two were trying to play. Lizzy was so determined for me to explore options other than the big B but honestly, I wasn't even thinking about him.
However, I couldn't hide the fact that I was kind of excited to meet someone new. The whirlwind of confusion played on itself for some time.
I was understanding the means of regaining friends, and after all, Bentley was still going to be nagging me for a while. So, why wouldn't I want a friend that could give me laughter or company when Lizzy and J are cuddled up.
Eventually, the battle with myself stopped and the nervousness started to bubble. Johnathan and his cousin started play fighting towards the car as a woman shook her head and waved them goodbye.
I sucked in a breath as they got closer. I reached out my hand with a quick comment "Angel".
Lizzy laughed and stated, "Now you have no choice but to talk to each other."
I smacked my forehead and slowly sunk down in the seat. Both boys rushed towards their seats while laughing continuously at each other. Lizzy shook her head and laughed as the boys closed the doors and J started the truck.
"Devin." The voice took me by surprise but the new and unknown surrounding the tone of the voice allowed me to decipher who it belonged to. I smiled and extending my hand for him to shake.
This time his smile grew as he learned my name. I could tell he liked it and he knew I knew. Eventually, the awkwardness surrounding us diminished, and slight but interesting conversations started to rise.
Devin was sixteen like Johnathan and they were first cousins like Lizzy and I. We talked about our favorite colors and how he started developing a liking for sports. Not only did he play football and basketball but he loved baseball as well. His smile was straight and his eyes were hazel.
Conversations were easy to discuss and flowed effortlessly. He seemed like an absolutely good person to be around. We eventually arrived at the zoo with everyone stumbling over each other to get inside.
Devin and I decided to break away from the two love birds and do our own thing. We made it through the aquarian exhibits and found ourselves running towards the flamingos and elephants. Eventually, I found myself wiping away laughing tears as Devin lost his hat to a monkey.
We almost forgot about Lizzy and Johnathan running around the zoo until we ran right into them.
"Where have you two been?" Lizzy asked as she nibbled on some nachos and cheese. I shrugged and quickly reached for her nachos.
"Exploring.. just like the two of you." I dipped the nacho into the cheese and gave a cheesy grin.
Everyone shook their heads and started laughing. Lizzy wasn't too happy but she knew it was normal.
"Let's get some food. I'm hungry." I stated as I lead the group to the gate with Lizzy on my heel and Johnathan walking with Devin.
"So.."
Lizzy left the word so blatantly in the air as she continued to chew her nachos and cheese.
"He is nice, sweet, cute." I simply nodded my head and picked up the pace as Lizzy cooed about how much I loved her and how change was so good.
He was the complete opposite of Bentley and I didn't have to worry so much when it came to saying the right or wrong things. Bentley texted me maybe once or twice but he caught the hint.
I also assumed that his thought process was giving me my space and he was right. This was the space I needed. I loved him, yes. However, maybe being too forgetful and forgiving was selfish to myself.
Maybe this was my chance to be placed first. This was my wake-up call before the storm and I was not going back.
I couldn't go back, I was already too far gone. Lizzy nodded and accepted the silence as if it gave her all the information she needed to understand Bentley and I were long gone.
After a couple of jokes, pushing, and tussling between us all we eventually made it to the truck. Johnathan and Devin decided on a good cheap burger joint for Lizzy and I.
The boys bragged about how all the locals traveled here even for a slice of peach cobbler. I chuckled to myself as the boys went over every item. They were silly yes, but very good with descriptive words leaving my stomach on a growling mission.
After that introduction, we were able to order quickly being that we got our own private menu introduction before coming.
The night was going pretty good and my phone, silent.
That wasn't normal but I was to enjoy every minute of it. Bentley could've easily attempted to ruin a perfectly good night if perfect was the product you got from an equation that did not need him.
I shook the thoughts away and started devouring myself in a group conversation. My own thoughts would consume me if I let them. Johnathan and Devin dropped Lizzy and I off first. My mother always appreciated when Johnathan did that because she knew he did it for her girls.
Devin and I exchanged numbers and a hug before both pulling off completely. Standing there, we watched as the boys and the truck disappeared leaving us with only visual and physical feels of the past few hours.
Since it was still early my mother didn't race to the door with barricading questions. I was sure that if she heard about Devin she would fall in love as a mother should. Yet, those concerns of stepping into shallow water with no technique would come up multiple times.
She was sure to lecture me about dating continuously at a young age and what it would do to my heart. I knew her intentions were and would always be good. However, Devin is literally just a friend and for that, I would wait on telling my mother.
I let out a big sigh and hopped into the shower. If nothing else a shower was sure to help end the day completely.
Today was great.