I walk next to Sara, pushing away from people to keep up with her fast, urgent pace.
"Slow down!" I exclaim, reaching out to grab her shoulder but she pushes my hand away.
I frown, noticing her curtness. "What's wrong? Sara?"
She doesn't reply, taking out her phone. Obviously ignoring me.
"Sara!" I grit my teeth, gripping her arm and twisting her to face me.
"What the heck, Charlie?" Sara yells, leaving me baffled. "What do you think you're doing?"
"What the heck am I doing?" I glare, "What the hell are YOU doing?"
The mall's music buzzes in my ear, blending smoothly with the crowded chatter.
"You've been ignoring me for the whole damn day!" I exclaim, my skin feeling hot with anger, "You won't even tell me what's wrong! And when Dustin showed up, you acted like nothing happened so I thought our argument was over but now you look like you want to kill me or something!"
I stare at her, hoping for a response, but all she does is keep on looking attentively at her phone.
The last straw for my patience.
Without controlling myself, I snatch her phone from her hand.
And I know that was wrong of me. But now I have it and as I look at the screen, my eyes widen.
She's texting someone.
I catch a glimpse of the last text this person sent her.
**I don't know - They're still searching for him**
She takes back the phone from my hand and i don't protest.
"What the HELL, Charlie!" Sara shrieks, making me flinch, "How dare you do that!"
I don't know anything. Regretting what I did but not wanting to admit it...
"It seems like the person you're talking to is more important to you than you own best friend." I hiss, "Why are you acting like this? So distant? Everything was ok yesterday."
Sara snaps back, "Yeah well. I'm not in the mood to face you today. So would you please just leave me alone!"
I clench my fists, scoffing, "So that's how it's going to be now, huh? You talking to random people, not that I'm complaining, but the fact that you won't tell me what's going on, is so unfair! I've known you for years! Can't you tell me what's bothering you?"
"Look who's talking!" Sara replies, scornfully, "You, Charlie? You're going to give me friendship advices now? You don't even know how to keep a best friend!"
"What's that supposed to mean?" I narrow my eyes, gulping because I know where this is going.
There's a long silence between us, disregarding all the chatter as she says.
"You forgot about her so damn quickly." She walks closer to me, talking in a threatening whisper. "You forgot her like she meant nothing to you. And don't act like you don't know who I'm talking about."
Of course I know who she's talking about. Her. The one who kept us close. The one who laughed the brightest, who saw everyday as an opportunity. She was the one this town thought could achieve great things.
If only fate hadn't been so cruel. So unfair.
Why the hell is Sara bringing up these memories? Memories I buried so deep, in order to not feel the emotion. Why bring it up, knowing it will hurt not just me, but also her?
"Shut up-" I say. And it hurts when i say it because these two words? I never said it to Sara and actually mean it.
She rolls her eyes, tears welling up, "You know she asked for you that day. She wanted you to be there. And you weren't. Cooped up in you house like you always are. Not caring how alone she was."
My jaw tightens, as I muster out, "I couldn't come. You know I couldn't. My headaches-"
"Please Charlotte!" Sara screams, "Stop making excuses, alright?! Bottom line is that Alisa waited for you to come and you didn't! You promised you would. You don't even know how hurt she was when you didn't come! Pathetic as you are!"
Alisa.
Been a while since someone said that name.
"She was dying Charlotte! She was in the hospital and in so much pain!" Tears streak down Sara's cheeks. "She wanted you to be there....and you-"
"Hey, that's enough!" There comes another voice.
Dustin.
Again.
We both turn around to face him, his expression serious and calm, something we've never seen him act like.
He looks at us for a long time, trying to figure out the situation.
Sarah, her face sunken with frustrating tears and me, who probably looked pale with regret, because that sure as hell is how i feel.
"I knew something was up between you two since this morning." He walks towards us, slowly, almost cautiously. "Didn't expect it to be about..."
He sighs, rubbing at his face in agitation.
"Dustin..." I start but he holds up his hand to stop me.
"I'm just thinking, why would you to bring up something that happened years ago?" He asks, crossing his arms, "Sure, it was a tragedy but Sara, we have to move on."
What a sensible thing to say.
Sara says nothing, looking at the floor, as if she'll glare a whole through it.
"Look, I'm sorry what happened to her." Dustin says, gently, to both of us, "And it may not mean a lot since I didn't know her as well as you two did but it'll be easier if you... let go."
I could tell that he chose his words carefully, in order to not trigger the both of us.
I draw in a long breath, closing my eyes.
Remembering her smile that never faded. Her eyes that always shined...
"Charlotte?" Dustin nudges my shoulder.
"Yeah?" I pull myself from my thoughts.
"Well, you're brother called me. Said you weren't picking up you phone? I came to check if you lost it or something."
I scowl, "Jason called you?"
He shrugs, "Pretty much."
I pull out my phone from my pants pocket, "I must have turned it off."
Dustin nods, "Okay, glad that's solved." He looks at Sara who hasn't moved an inch from where she was standing.
"Well, you two should go home." He says, "Think it over, what happened today."
"Yeah, we will." I reply, "Thanks."
Dustin opens his mouth to answer when we hear Sara mumble.
"You don't know..."
"What?" Dustin asks.
"You don't know how hard it is to pretend it's fine." She says louder, "You don't know how obnoxious I feel hanging out with Charlotte, who doesn't even care about what happened to Alisa!"
My stomach clenches, burning with acids, but I don't say anything.
She shakes her head at me. Disgusted.
"I'm done. You- I shouldn't have believed that you'll change. You're such a hypocrite, Charlotte. Tell me how I'm not being a good friend when you're like the- the perfect example of being the worst one!"
"Sara..." I say, my heart thumping fast, "Why are you being like this? Why, after all these years?"
"I had to bring it up one day!" Sara shouts, "Unlike you, I still remember her!"
"Alright, this isn't working out." Dustin says, annoyedly, "I need you to leave, Sara. Right now."
"I wish she was here." Sara looks straight at me when she says this.
After that she leaves.
I watch her go, my whole body trembling, wanting to sit down and stay down for the whole eternity.
"Go home, Charlie." Dustin squeezes my arm, "Just... forget this happened."
I know he's trying to be helpful.
But how can I forget about the memories which Sara clawed her way into?