Nikka was sitting on the bed, clutching the blanket as it wrapped around her body. Her hair all disheveled from an earlier encounter, and it covered her whole face as she hugged her knees.
She could not believe how weak she was and how she easily wanted to give herself up to the same guy who broke her heart. Tears continued to drown her eyes as she remembered every pain that she went through.
Marcus was the reason why she still could not move on, why she still had to go through therapies because of depression. The nightmare she went through with Philip was all because of him. She blamed him for leaving her, for choosing someone else over her.
Even now, she did not understand why. She tried to forget that day but she could not and she felt like he was doing it all over again.
But despite of what her brain was telling her, her heart deceived her. She could not deny that she was still in love with him after all these years. How he still made her feel she was the most beautiful woman the way he touched her.
But she would not allow him to hurt her again...
Marcus had stopped pounding the door and she heard him walked away from it. She could not talk to him yet after what happened. She did not know what to tell him.
As much as she wanted him back in her life, she felt like she couldn't trust him.
Wounds take time to heal... and her memory took her back where it all happened....
*********
SUMMER 2014
Months after the post-graduation incident, Nikka's father had imposed much stricter rules than before. Now every time she asked them if she could sleepover at Vera's, they would check up on her almost every hour.
"I don't want you getting in trouble again," warned her dad. "If you do, I'll be forced to send you back home to the Philippines."
She frowned but nodded.
"I promise, Dad," she said in a low voice.
Anthony sighed. He knew her daughter was not one who get into trouble but it always worried him since Marcus won't always be there to protect her. With her brother, Daniel, moving away to Connecticut, it'll be much harder to keep her safe. He had always wanted her daughter to be brave but still she was too naive that most people take advantage of her.
Because of this, he and Martha had her convinced to apply to colleges not far from their apartment and one in Connecticut so she could be closer to Daniel. Since the acceptance letters came, she hadn't made her decision yet. Hopefully she would be tonight so they could prepare themselves as well.
Nikka was really excited to finally had this sleepover with her friends. It was Vera's birthday and she invited her and Dominic since her parents were away on a business trip in London.
They were sitting in one of the large grey couch in her living room, watching a romantic movie on TV when Vera suddenly popped a question.
"So when are you going to tell him?" she inquired to Nikka eagerly.
"Do I really have to? What if he doesn't feel the same way?" Nikka answered, lowering her eyes.
"Are you kidding me? Girl, the way he looks at you with hungry eyes like a lion ready to devour its prey, I'm sure there is something there. He is probably undressing you already in his mind. Don't you think, Dom?"
"Definitely," agreed Dominic, "Besides, his heroic act during the post-graduation party is enough to prove that you are special to him. If you have seen how he punched Ricky, girl! I would love to have a man like that!"
He took some popcorn and popped them in his mouth.
She sighed and said, "I don't know. I don't want my heart broken, you know? He is my first love and probably my last."
"Honey," Vera said and held her hand. "We get our hearts broken eventually but it does not mean we cannot love again. If he doesn't love you back, then move on to another guy. There are so many fishes in the sea so why just have one? Look at me. I don't settle for one anymore. You don't love me back, it's fine. I go find myself another guy. No big deal. Life goes on, you know?"
"Yes. But you still end up hurting in the end."
Vera sighed and raised her hand as if to dismiss it.
"At first but now, the heck with them. I have learned my lesson especially after Fred. Ugh! Every time I think of it, I want to slap him real hard on his face. I hate him. But seriously, Nikka, you gotta tell him. It is now or never!"
"I'll take him if you don't want to," Dominic smiled naughtily as his eyebrows raised playfully.
"Dom!" And she pushed him on the couch.
"What? I'm just saying. If you don't act fast, you're going to lose your man to this body," he teased as he slid down his hands on his body.
"Oh, stop, you!" she struck him on his shoulder and laughed.
Suddenly, her phone rang. She looked at the caller.
"Who is it?" asked Dominic.
"It's Marcus," she answered simply as Vera and Dominic squealed.
She motioned them to be quiet as she answered the call.
"Hello, Marcus," she answered, excitedly.
"Hey, Nikka. Are you free tonight? Can you come over?" said Marcus on the other line. "I just need to see you."
"Sure. Is everything okay? You sound bothered."
"Yeah...." he trailed off. "I just came back from my trip. I missed you.... I missed our Friday movie marathon."
'He missed me...' she thought. It registered in her heart and made it leaped a thousand times. But her heart wasn't ready for what he said next.
"I have something to tell you... it's really important."
Her heart beat faster.
'Ohmigod! Is he going to confess his feelings?' she thought, and her heart continued to beat faster.
"Where are you?" he inquired. There was a mixture of authority and concern as she told him where they were. Ever since that incident, Marcus had become very protective of her.
"I'm at Vera's. It's her birthday," she answered.
"I see... I'll pick you up at six. Do you want to pass by your house first?"
"No need. I'll just send a message to dad that I'm sleeping over to your apartment tonight."
"Don't worry. I already called them. Do you want anything? I'll planning to order pizza."
"No. Pizza's good."
"Okay. I'll see you then. Bye, Nikka."
"Okay. See you, Marcus," and he hung up.
She squealed, as she went back to see Dom and Vera from Vera's bedroom.
"Girl, what happened?" Vera asked.
"Well... I think he is going to confess his feelings tonight."
Both Vera and Dominic squealed.
"Ohmigod! We need to pack," Vera said excitedly.
"What do you mean we need to pack? I didn't even unpack my clothes from the bag and-"
"No way are you going to bring that ugly pajamas you're wearing now. I got a better idea," she said and went inside her bedroom closet.
Later on, she went out with a box.
"I went to the mall after our graduation and decided to buy you gifts. So, I thought of you and I came across this one," and she opened it for her. Nikka's eyes grew wide.
"No, no! I can't have that. No way am I going to wear that!" she cried, pushing the box back to Vera.
Dominic took it out of the box and place it against his skinny body and joked, "I'll take it then if you don't want it. Looks good on me."
Vera snatched it back from him, narrowing her eyes and said, "You'll have yours later, Dom. We need to support our friend here," and she pushed it on Nikka's hand. "Nikka, take advantage of this day or you won't have any time at all. This might be the night. So go for it!"
"But-"
"Nikka! Go do it or else I will be the one to do it with him," Dom teased and they all laughed. "But seriously, you love him. I'm pretty sure he loves you, too. It wouldn't hurt to see his reaction when he sees you with this.. plus he's so hot and you're pretty. So, I doubt you're going to get your hands off each other once you start kissing. Girl, you're lucky."
She laughed and took a deep breath.
"Okay," she decided and took it.
She thought she was ready but actually her heart was pumping so much that she felt like she will have a heart attack.