"It's okay, I've heard this a lot." I can't count how many times my friends asked me to go and see a psychiatrist, but I never liked the idea. I felt like an outcast.
"Well it sounded like I'm one of those jerk who likes to boast about things they do... I was just concerned..". He was very shy, yet so straightforward. I smiled slightly, "it's okay, you seem quite serious about your job."
He looked in my eyes and smiled gently, "Because I know how it feels to be left unheard." He continued, "Well I'm getting down at next stop, here's my card, I hope to see you again." He passed me the card, his name is Eric Charles. He noticed I was staring at his card attentively and asked, "what's your name by the way? Sorry I forgot to ask."
"I'm Sylvia Hudson."
"Like poet and novelist Sylvia Plath?" He chuckled.
"Yeah, how did you understand?" It was quite astonishing.
"Well just felt like you might like poetrys and novels, I'm Eric Charles by the way."
We shared a smile and sat silently for few seconds before he said it's time for him to leave. I looked up, "well I'm getting down here too." We both shared a small laugh, got down, and went to different direction. It was heartwarming to share a small talk with a stranger. I haven't done it much before, but it felt quite good.
***
When I got in the café, I found Eliza waiting for me. She waved her hand at me with a cheerful smile. It was nice to see someone this happy just cause they're meeting me. I passed by the tables and went to her, she instantly hugged me tightly. After everything I was feeling, it felt nice. "I missed you so much!" She said loudly and everyone's eyes turned toward us. We both looked around and burst into a laugh. "I missed you so much Ellie!!" It felt good to catch up with bestfriend after such hard time.
We both sat down as she kept asking me millions of questions.
"How are you doing this day?"
"Are you writing these days?"
"Did you meet someone new!?"
I chuckled and told her to calm down but it still seemed so hard for her.
"Well I'm doing okay.. yeah I'm working on a novel and No I didn't meet someone new."
"Ugh when are you gonna open your heart again, John doesn't even deserve this!" There was disappointment in her voice but what can I do, I don't like it either. Looking at my expression she softened a little, "it's been eight months since you guys broke up, you haven't even had a crush since then. How long are you gonna hold on to him?"
"I'm not holding on to him. I don't want to date someone now, I'm not in a good state. I'll screw things up."
Eliza sighed, "whatever let's not talk about that jerk. Let's order our favorite dessert!" Everytime we came here we'd order a sandwich and red velvet cake. We were ordering our dish when I saw a familiar face in the crowd. It was my ex John. He was with his best friend Simon. I looked away when I saw him here, I can't let him notice that I was anxious. I fixed my dress and hair to make sure I don't look sad. When Eliza saw I was acting differently she noticed John was here too. She held my hand softly said, "it's okay, I'm here with you." I faked a smile, I was feeling uncomfortable. It's our first meet after breakup. I closed my eyes and took few deep breath and smiled. It's alright. It's been 8 months, I'm over him. Yet my heart was aching, everything he said before occupied my mind within a second.