(One year 6 months ago)
It's been a month since I broke up with Nolan. It isn't the worst thing though. How can I expect someone to love me when I can't even love myself and my surroundings. I tried to find my escape by dating him, but as they said, it isn't a solution. Born and raised in a broken middle class family, who is gonna accept me anyway? 'I don't deserve you, you're too good for me.' That's what I've always heard. Tsk, it's over now. I got better things to do.
***
The weather is pretty good today. It's been more than a month since I broke up with Nolan. I'm gonna move on. I'm gonna dress up, I'm gonna wear makeup, I'm gonna be the best of me. I took out my favorite red dress and wore red lipstick. I looked into the mirror and smirked, "not bad". Then I realized, I have no where to go. I called up Eliza, "Hey! Let's grab a bite?"
"Meh, I'm not feeling it today, I'll pass.."
"What happened?"
"Nothing just got some work."
"Okay."
After hanging up I thought let's just plan it on the way. I was walking by Colombia Café and saw John. John McCarthy used to be my classmate back in highschool. I remember I kinda liked him when I saw him for the first time. We smiled at each other and left on our own way. John McCarthy is my ex's friend... well I was just 16 and the relationship wasn't much serious. I hardly talked with him and moreover he cheated on me. I laughed at myself thinking how sad I was even though I didn't feel anything for that guy. I decided I'll go to Colombia Café, my regular spot. I bought my favorite dessert and savoured it like there's no tomorrow. Day well spent.
***
Few days past and suddenly Eliza called me. Her voice was excited. "What happened why are you so happy?" I said curiously. "Umm so remember John? John McCarthy?"
"Yeah. I saw him few days back why?" It was kind of out of the blue. John and I never had a decent conversation, why would Eliza bring him up all of a sudden? "Soooo I think he likes you!" I was astonished. Why. Will. He. Like. Me!? Everytime we met he would just say something which would piss me off and he mostly made fun of me when we crossed paths. Why was he suddenly attracted to me? Too many questions crossed my mind, then I realized one of my friend had a crush on him. "But Nelly likes John right?" I was confused. This was all too sudden. "Well yeah.. but John doesn't like her." I stayed silent for a moment and replied, "Well.. I'm not interested." I just moved out of 10 months relationship, I didn't feel like dating someone at the moment.
"I know, just talk with him. I've heard he is a nice guy." Eliza insisted, "He is Nathan's best friend and Nathan knows what kind of guy he is."
Nathan and Eliza been dating for a year and half now so she trusted his judgement.
"Let's see."
Few days later, I posted a lyrics from one of my favorite song.
"I know that I gave you my heart, but you stomped it to the ground~"
Well I was quite sad, Nolan was my bestfriend before we started dating; I missed him. Soon after posting it, I saw a reply from John, "Hold on, it's gonna be alright man", that's what he said. I smiled a little, was he trying to initiate a conversation after what Eliza told me? We knew each other so there wasn't my formality in our conversation. I replied, "Thanks man :")". Later we didn't talk, but he commented few times in my posts and I did too. It was good.
***
My parents are quarelling again. My mother's ex lover used to come home often, he had a good relationship with my dad. My dad invited him more often even though he knew who he was. But still he would fight with mom because of that guy. I'm tired of this family. I wish I could live somewhere else like my sister. She is the pride of the family whereas I'm just a disappointment who is struggling to be a writer. I was feeling blue, when Eliza sent me a screenshot. It was a conversation between her and Nelly.
Nelly: I like how John is flirting with Sylvia, it's gonna be fun.
Eliza: I've talked with him, he is really into her what can I do?
Nelly: I see, you want them to be together too. I've heard he isn't a nice guy, if they get together they'll have the worst break up!
I wasn't even interested in him yet Nelly talked like this. Then Eliza sent another picture, it was a conversation between John and Nelly.
Nelly: I have some gifts for you. When can I give it to you?
John: Why did you get me gifts tho?
Nelly: Well you know...
Then she sent another screenshot between her and John.
John: I think I won't talk with Sylvia, Nelly will be hurt.