"Mistakes are mistakes, it cant be forgiven, sorry can't change anything. You have to learn from your mistakes... "
~lexi
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B E L L A
I am still laying on my bed with close eyes. Waiting for my deep to consume me but it never come. My minds drifted to my stupid thought. Trust me I didn't like it. Its always scare the shit out of me. As much I think it make me more sad. I should think something positive but there is nothing word like this in my life. I always wonder what I had ever done to deserve this, all of this pain. Its too much. Sometimes I like it but at the same time I hate it.
I snap out through my thoughts when I feel like someone is staring me. Waiting for me to wake up. Who is there? Any enemy? I feel someone sitting on my bed. Its smell is different. Its like candy. What the hell. What's going on. Suddenly someone poke me. This touch feel like its too soft. Without wasting any time I open my eyes, only to find a little boy crouching beside me.
My cold eyes meet his soft ones. Instantly his eyes widening. He jump through the bed and run out of my room. What was that. A kid. I probably scare him. Huh?
Checking time I don't feel like sleeping. I got up and wash myself. Putting brown t shirt and blue pants with demain jacket, I comb my short hair into simple style. I put watch on my wrist and bracelet on other one. Grabbing my phone I start moving down stairs. I hope everyone had already eaten cause I dont have a mood of eating with them.
The house is so mesmerizing and big yet it is small for me. I had lived in castle. At first I really forgot my route but its easy to find the way back. I run through stairs and enter in living room. Everyone is talking happily. When I enter their eyes lands on me. Will is first to greet me.
"Morning baby. "He said happily.
"Morning, and don't call me that. "I Said Little bit annoyed. Dexter call me baby and it really irritate me most. He looks taken back by my words.
"Hey, bitch don't behave rude to my brother. "Alessa said glaring at me.
"Had you ever seen yourself in mirror. "I said rolling my eyes. Before she can say a word will warn her. Causing her to stop in mid way.
"You look beautiful. "My eyes lands on the man who is sitting beside Alice.
He is big and muscular. He have a brown eyes and black hairs. Well dress in tuxedo. His skin is dark pale. He is handsome. His eyes scan me.
"Excuse me. "I said angrily. "And yeah my face is here. Dont look at me like that. "I said glaring. I said and the room feel silent. They look at me in shock. I start feeling more irritated.
"And I am looking at you like? " he said mockingly.
What the man. What he thinks of himself. I am not a naive little girl whom can be pushed.
"Like I have to punch you. "I said with same mocking sound just like him. His face dropped. Looks like he is not used to it.
"Trust me you are lucky that you are my niece. "He said smirking. I raised my brow.
He is right. He is little different from us but still he is same blood like us. Even his face matches to the stella. Ouch. My uncle. What a moment. I roll my eyes on my thoughts.
"Oh dude trust me even you are my uncle I can still beat the shit out of you. "I match my smirk with his. "And besides I don't have any mom, dad. Its waste of time. "I said.
He didn't speak just stare at me. Alice look at me horrified. He must have a power over them. Yeah yeah. I look deep into his eyes. His eyes soften but he quickly covered it. Oh good I have to deal with fack ones.
"Look I know you are angry on me. But you had changed too much. "He come closer to me. When he tried to touch me I back away instantly, keep ing my emotionless yet cold face. "Well I have a work. "He said and left.
"You should not speak that. He looks hurt. "Alice said to me softely.
"I am sorry. But I didn't remember anything . "I said and look at will. "Can I go out? " I said.
"okay, just come home quickly. "He Said smiling lightely.
I nod at him. Before any one can protest I get out of the house. I smell fresh air of morning. Smiling. I start walking to whenever this road take me. I feel like someone is following me. I know someone is here. But I just let it go cause I know whoever it is. They don't have a power to defeat me. My aunt give me hardest training. Even dexter taught me lots of defence at different situations and thanks to him. I alone can defeat many people as much as i want up to my last breath.
I wander ed at the different places. My country is so different unlike it. The best thing I find is only the library. I know I am not nerd but I like to read book. It makes me happy being in the world of mysteries and adventure. Sometimes I think I should be a famous writer, right. I laugh at my mental thoughts. How can emotionless person like me can describe the world beautifully. I am depressed and I know I will just spread sadness through my books. I dont wanna to do this cruel thing. A part of me knows that everyone needs happiness. Everyone deserves it. I sigh.
Shrugging my thoughts I went to cafe to take some meals. I open the door and get inside, ordering my food I sit on the table. My eyes romes around only to find three boys staring at me. I glare at them. They flinch and look away. What is wrongs with boys of this days. After finishing my meals I get out of the cafe.
I walk slowly towards the park. I feels like someone is behind me, following me. But I didn't look back. Lets trap the whoever the shit it is. I walk to nearby bench and lay on it peaceful. Within few minutes the three boy who was staring at me in cafe surrounds me. I got up and rais my eyebrow at them.
"Hey darling, lets have a some fun. "The boy in the middle say to me. I just smirk.
He smirk back at me. Chuckling a little he make his way towards me. Before he can touch me I grab his hand and twist it. He yeall in pain. I smirk at other two boys and kick the boy. The other two boys come towards me grabbing my both the hands. I kick one boy and punch other one causing him to fall unconscious. My hands still work. I jump on the boy whose hand is twisted, I punch his face until he fall unconscious. Standing up I look at the remaining boy who is on ground Looking at me in pure horror. I grabbed his neck and punch him too. Little while later I twist his neck a little just to make him unconscious.
What you had taken me as. I am not the slut. I glare at all the three boys on the ground. Glancing around I left this place before anyone can notice me. Why the hell I had done that. If I have to go back then I should avoid as much fight as possible. Stupid me. I gron.
Mistakes are the mistakes. Its cant be forgiven. A single sorry want change anything. Thats what my aunt taught me. But me being stupid as usual never obey her, Insted I make lots of mistake and tell sorry to her. And now I get what she always meant by. I cant just forgive my family cause they abandoned me. I cant. I hate everyone and everything.
Drifting in my deep thoughts I didn't even notice that its already evening.I wanderered a lots of defence places, I think. I should get back. But wait who cares even if I will not be at home. I smile at my thoughts. Its true no one cares. Slowly slowly I made my way to the mansion.
I reach at the front door. The house is silent, its like no one is inside. Aunt house was never like this. It was always noisy. I notice the cars are already parked. I think everyone is back. But I feel like someone is inside the house waiting for me. Okay lets get over with it.
Opening the door I went inside. When I enter in living room, everyone's eyes snap at me, some eyes hold worriedness while some shows anger. My eyes landed on my brother will who looks more worried then everyone else. I smile a little at him, assuring him that I am okay. He smile sadly and come towards me.
"Where was you little one? I was so worried. "He said ruffling my hair.
Little one. He was used to call me. I feel so happy back then but now I don't know what to feel anymore. He always cared about me and he is not even afraid to show it. He is perfect brother everyone wants. But not me I dont want anyone.
"I just lost track of time. The country is beautiful. "I said honestly,smiling. He sigh.
"Just get to home early, its not safe here. "Will say, I nod politely.
"Its good, I thought you lost your way. "Said Alice with worried tone.
"Don't be worried next time, I can take care of myself like I always did. "I said. She smile.
"Finally you are back. "My uncle says coming towards me but I fold my hands causing him to stop mid way. He sigh. "Hey, princess. Can we start over I know I was stupid back then but just give me one chance. "He Said almost pleadingly.
Humm. Can I trust him. Not, never. But I have to go back to aunt. To act like I am his daughter its difficult fir me. I smirk mentally. I will act like I am good child. And then leave this house forever. Snapping out of my thought I nod at him. He smile at my answer.
"But what is your name? I dont know you. "I said honestly.
His face turn into shocked one. Yeah it was good attack. I smile mentally.
"My name is jackson. "He said. I just nod.
Suddenly we heard a little chuckle. I look towards alice to find a small boy who was sitting on my bed at the morning poking me. His eyes landed on me. Suddenly his eyes landed on me causing his eyes to widen. I look at him confused. Alice understand my confusion.
"Bella, this is my son, Kristen. Your cousin. "She said.
"Aren't you one who was poking me at the morning. "I stated.
"I am sorry. I thought you was my big brother. "He said cutely in baby voice playing with his little fingers.
"Thats okay kid. Not a big deal. " I said smiling. He look up at me. He run towards me hugging mg legs.
"Its nice to meet you big sister. "He said.
I lightly pick him up. Hugging him. His smile widen at my gesture."its nice to meet you to lil bro. "I said.
I like this kid. Alice said us to take dinner. Everyone enter in dining room taking their seats. I look at them waiting until I get my place. Dylan look at my confusion. He grab my hands and give me seat between him and Felix.
Felix eyes lands on me and he smirk. I glare at him. He just pouts in answer. Ignoring him I start eating my dinner. Its was not bad. But will make sure I eat everything. I am not used to this. Mostly aunt doesn't eat with me. But dexter was always there fulfilling her place. He didn't force me to eat more food but also he make sure that I eat limited food. Okay I miss his annoying face and jocks.
While everyone finish their food, they sit in living room enjoying family night. Trust me I hate this but will insisted me to sit with him so I agreed thinking that I will know something about this family.
While everyone is sitting one big muscular boy dressed in perfect tuxo enter in living room. His hair is messed. His eyes are deep blue, holding the storm just like my aunt. His every features are strong. He have a strong personality. Trust me I can identify strong and weak persons easily. His deep blue eyes lands on me. Making eyecontact his eyes scan me. Bit this time I don't feel annoyed insted I want to talk with him. Why I feel like I know him.
"How was your flight, Xavier? "Will ask him.
Xavier takes his eyes off me and nods to him in response. Other boys just give him slight smile. While aiden hug s him. Stella's eyes drops on floor. While alessa looks annoyed. Alice smile at him. Uncle look at him with cold yet approving look. Xavier nods at him too.
"Princess meet him, he is your brother. "Will said to me Looking my confusion.
"I got that but don't gives me names. "I said to will annoyed, will chuckles softely.
"Looks like you don't likes name. Hot chocolate. "Ryder said to me with smirk. I glare at him.
"Dont you have a brain cells.little kitten. "I said to him smirking evily. He glare back at me.
"You don't have a right to call me names. "He said annoyed.
"Same for you. "I said to him. "Atleast act like a mature person. "I said pushing his buttons.
He glare directly. I smirk innocently. Will snap at us. "Stop it kids. Both of you are brother and sister, remember. "He warn both of us.
"Well little girl follow me. "Xavier said getting up. I furrow my brows in confusion. But will nods at me to follow him.
I nod and follow Xavier at his office. The room looks like office. Its is well decorated with different arts and sculptures. Its beautiful. Xavian sit on the front sofa and signal me to sit with him. I did as he told me. We sit in Silence for few minutes which feels like years.
"Do you still remember me? "He ask. I drift my eyes into his, I shake my head as a no. He sigh.
"Well since you live in this family there are certain rules. First you have to do as you are told. Dont get in trouble and yeah you are not allowed to stay with boys nor dating is allowed. Besides keep good grads. Dont stay late up to night. "He explain to me.
"And you except me to follow it. Trust me I dont listen to anyone. "I said standing g up crossing my hands on my chest.
"Really. "He said amusingly. "Then do it and wait for punishment. "He said.
I sigh. "If I will follow all the rules then you will let me go back to aunt? "I ask with hope.
"No. You have to stay with us forever. "He said
I gritted my teeth in response. I dont want to stay here. I hate this. Aunt abandon me. I thought she really cares but she doesn't care for me. I hate it. I snap at my oldest brother.
"First you guys abandon me and now you want me back, what the hell that is. "I yeall at him..
"Its was not me who abandon you. "He said.
"You didn't even stop your dad. "I yeall more angrily. "You never care. "I say.
He clench his fist, standing up he stood in front of me with cold face. His eyes hold not even a little emotions. Oh great. I mentally roll my eyes.
"Yeah, I didn't stop him.but that is non of your business. "Xavier said with blank face.
Looks like I push his buttons. I register his words. He was close to me but now that doesn't matter. I clench my fist looking at his stormy eyes. My eyes Nothing, Nothing at all. Its emotionless. Thats my definition. I look up and glare at him.
"Then why you bring me back, what if you can't save me again. "I ask him in disbelief.
"You don't have to worry about it. "He said with amusing tone.
I glare at him directly. He didn't show anything that I can use against him. He have very strong personality. Just like aunt Lexi but its different. Aunt is angriest one while Xavier's personality is quit different, his personality is silent like a forest but still its dangerous. All I could see him is dark blue. His personality is totally mysterious. It clearly show that no one even dare to make him enemy against them. His eyes are dangerous. I think even devil will bow in front of him.
I didn't respond. now I don't even know about this peoples anymore. I don't even remember anything of past. How can I forgot everything. Its not good. I look at his blank face, no one showe that face. What I am to you?
Its not like I am going to stay here. I nod and dashed out of his office before he can stop me. I slammed the door hard enough to show my anger.
I step inside my room and flops myself on it. Not taking care of outer world I close my eyes. But luck is not on my side. The door burst open reveling my annoying two brother jaxon Dylan and my step sisters. I look at them. They bring many things and put beside my bed. I stood up and look at them in confusion. Dylan dramatically fall on my bed.
"What is it? "I ask. "Aren't you going to murder me. "I said jokingly.
"Don't worry we will just beat you and will throw you away. "Alessa said back to me jokingly. I chuckles at her response.
"I am sorry for being bitch back then, please forgive me. Can we start over. "Alessa said smiling to me. I nod at her smiling back. She instantly pull me in hug. I put my hand behind her back. "Thanks. "She mutters pulling away.
"This is your school supplies. Coco. You will start your school tomorrow. "jaxon said to me I gron at my nickname again.
"I want to give nickname to you too. Okay let's start. Baby. "Dylan say. I glare at them. "Or princess or Quinn or strawberry or cupcake. "Dylan say but I snap at him.
"Shut up. Don't give me names. "I say annoyed. Dylan raise his hands in surrender.
"But how much old are you? "Asked stella shyly.
"I am 14."I say thinking a little.
"Really, you are small then all of us. "Dylan say.
"It means you are my baby sis. "Alessa said dramatically.
"Hey don't baby me that is annoying. "I said rolling my eyes.
Jaxon pull me closer crushing me into hug. I try to pull away. But he kiss my forehead. "My little sis, I am going to enjoy with you. "He say. I push him little not to be rude to his gesture.
"Besides you are cool, you know what no one dare to talk back to uncle. "Dylan say grinning.
"Huh! That was normal for me. "I say to them.
And then they lay on my bed alessa and jaxon hug me tightly while dylan is beside jaxon while Stella is beside alessa. They talk many this about our family, school and friends, etc. They fell into deep sleep. I stare at my ceiling. Maybe its good to live with siblings. I should forgot my past and start something new, right. Ok I will try but no promises.
I shouldn't fight with my oldest brother. I mean it was not his fault anyway. I will talk to him tomorrow. But how I never told sorry to anyone cause I never care about it. Hey come on its simple task I beat people its easy to say it. I roll my eyes at my mental thoughts.
Well let's see what will happen tomorrow.
I close my eyes not knowing that what will tomorrow held for me .