The next morning, just like what I thought, my mom and dad started to pack our things. And I was instructed to do so too. I had to skip school because of that. And of course, Bumi and his family also went and helped us packing.
We didn't pack much, only the essentials. Because I know most of the things in the house will go to bank, to pay for my dad's debt. Luckily, it wasn't so much. My dad said he put up this house for sale and his close colleague wanted to buy it. Well maybe he felt pity towards my dad. But I don't care, I only feel thankful to that colleague.
My dad lost almost all of his land, only a piece of land left in the neighboring city. My dad said with the money they have left, they could build a small house on that piece of land. But, my parents felt they couldn't keep me here, because they didn't have the heart to let me experience 'poverty'. So, they told me to go to my aunt's place. And that was outside the country. I told them I don't want to, but they keep insisting that it was the only way to keep me safe and apparently away from the upcoming 'poverty'. I should've told them I was okay being poor as long as I have what's important to me and that was them and Bumi.
I broke the news to Bumi that I must move abroad. He didn't seem happy but tried to conceal it and accept it while assuring me that we will keep communicating to each other through letters.
***
The day when I had to move abroad came, and I am here standing in the airport saying goodbye to my parents and my lover. "Mom, dad. I will always love you and I will remember our days together" and I kissed their cheeks and hug them. "Bumi, I hope you will always be well. I love you" I hug him tightly as if refusing to let go.
It was a tiring 7 hour flight. But I finally able to land and met my aunt's family. My life at my aunt's place wasn't bad. It was just she is a lot stricter than my parents, I had a little problems adapting to that. But, everything else is okay with me.
I kept calling and texting my parents and Bumi. For the first year, it was okay. We call and text each other. But what I've noticed after, Bumi's replies to my text kept getting slower and slower. I didn't think anything that time. Maybe Bumi was busy keeping up with his life. Until the second year, Bumi didn't reply to my text, didn't answer my call and just disappear. I asked my parents about him, but they didn't know either. Since Bumi's father died and his mom went back to the country-side, they never hear about Bumi again. Even I only knew about Bumi's father death from my parents. Why didn't he tell me?
I went back to my country a few times, at least once a year, to see how my parents are doing and to search for Bumi. I got to see my parents but I didn't get to see Bumi. I went back to my aunt's house heartbroken and depressed. I hope I didn't fall so much for Bumi. After 7th time, I refused to visit my country again, because I would remember Bumi again, and I would feel terrible and depressed again.
***
Now, 10 years later since I moved with my aunt, I heard news that my dad was ill. So, I took this opportunity to move back with my parents. I went to hospital straight from airport. "Dad!" was the first word I said entering the hospital room. They looked older. I felt so guilty for not seeing them for the past few years. I ran to hug both my mom and my dad, "dad, mom, I'm sorry"
"It's okay, sweetie. You did great. You don't have to feel sorry", my angel-like mom said. I spent the whole afternoon in the hospital room until my mother told me to go home, to their small home. I was reluctant at first, but in the end, my mom managed to convince me.
I got to my parent's home. It was a little far from the hospital, so it took quite a while to reach it. Entering the gate, I knew it was a lot smaller than my previous house, but it feels a lot warmer. It smells like my mom.
I stayed there for 1 month, back and forth to the hospital. Until my dad died. There were nothing matters anymore. I just left whatever I was doing and went straight to the hospital. I felt powerless. Guilt, sadness, anger, uselessness, everything just mixed up.
I couldn't stop apologizing to my dad's already cold body, "I'm sorry. Dad, do you hate me? Dad I wish I was with you the whole time" and so on. The mourning period was 3 days. A lot of my dad's subordinate came. Even Bumi's mom came. When I saw her, I couldn't help asking her about Bumi, but she said she has lost contact from Bumi since 8 years ago. His mother even thought Bumi was dead.
I didn't know what I feel. My father died, and I got news that my ex-boyfriend is nowhere to be found. I thought it was just too much for me.
I haven't moved on from Bumi. The sorrow lasted for over a month. It was, devastating. Sometimes I just cry my heart out on my pillow. Sometimes I couldn't eat properly. Sometimes, my mind wandered off to the distant past when everything was perfect.
But after all that, I decided to move out, to the city, to start a new life. So, today is my departure from my mom's house to A city. It is about 5 hours train from my mom's house.