I hurl myself at the bed, swiveling around as if it does help me to remove my confused feelings for him but it's not. It's like I'm on a rollercoaster because of these stupid feelings. I want to check it but at some point, I'm afraid of it because, in the end, I'll be hurting myself if my affection continues.
He's too good for me but I deserve to be loved but it doesn't give me that option. I guess I'll be single forever with my friends who are in love with their significant others.
And I'll be standing alone, watching them, happy. But I'm happy for them. Well, they are my happiness for the past few years that we share as a friend.
So I guess it'll be fine for me to be single. If Christian is not for me then it's going to be someone else, or worse, I'll die alone.
"I need to check myself first," I mumble, glancing at the ceiling.
Then, I crouch, pushing my hair at the back with my hand when all my tears rush through my cheeks.
