My vision blurred and everything became fuzzy. I felt sick, my legs on the verge of giving up. Floor beneath felt like a jelly and I swayed for just a moment before, I crumpled like a puppet suddenly released of her strings. I waited for jelly like ground to hit
1...2....3
But I never hit, instead I saw a blurry face close to mine and heard muffled voice. I felt warm grip on my elbow and my waist. I tried to rub my eyes to clear my blurry vision, but how could I? I couldn't feel my hands. I could feel nothing except feeling fuzzy and that warm grip. The light is fading leaving me behind in the darkness, am I dying?
"Wish I could answer to that!"
Was that my conscience to answer or this blurry figure? Wait did I speak that loudly?
I was about to close my eyes, when I was harshly jerked awake.
"Hey you Idiot" yep definitely it's my conscience. This bitch won't understand what it is costing me to keep my eyes open. Keeping them open is consuming every ounce of strength left in me.
"No no no no. Don't close it"
On the second thought is it possible for my conscience to physically jerk me so harshly? And why the fuck am I even talking to myself or better yet why the fuck am I even thinking about what my conscious could and couldn't do?
Something cold and soothing, was the last thing that I felt before mr. darkness claimed me in his protective embrace.
*********************************************************
My eyes flew open, wide. My heart racing, mind empty. I was lying on something hard and cold, buzzing sound filling my ears.
"Talia!" West was by my side in seconds, holding my hand.
"For how long I was out" I asked taking in my surrounding, smell of antiseptics filling my nostrils and cottons clotted with blood on a table near tells me this is the med room "four hours" West said as she helped me in sitting positions.
"How you feelin'"
"I feel" I stretched my neck and rolled shoulder which helped relieving tightness in my neck and shoulders "thirsty"
"I'll bring you water stay right here" she said before leaving.
Getting off of examining table, I stretched my arms and legs too, rubbing my face and eyes. I remember feeling weak out of blue right before I lost ninety nine percent of my damn consciousness. I was alright one moment and losing consciousness the other. I need to talk to Asher or Ava about this, this is not a good sign.
When I sensed other's emotions in med room, I brushed it away because I thought it was just some fucked up after effect of seven years long chemical induced sleep and it would get better. But what happened in cafeteria and then fainting tells me that this is more than just some sort of fucked up after effect, this could be something dangerous and brushing it off will not make it go away...
"Make what go away" West startled me.
"No..nothing" I couldn't tell her anything now. She looked me in the eyes for next two seconds with a big 'I don't feel right' in there, before giving me a mini water bottle. "I can't believe you almost gave me heart attack twice in past six hours. Something I thought wasn't possible"
"No comments" I said putting water bottle down on examining table "Where is Asher by the way?"
"They are all in control room...." she paused for few seconds calculating something "I think something is off actually, He and Ava were looking anxious when they left this room"
"I heard Cora and Benett's conversation back in cafeteria actually. And based on that I could tell you whatever it is, it's not good for us." I said without thinking
"What? what did you hear..."
"I will tell you, once I know what it exactly is. Actually I was going to talk to Asher about this but I fainted before I could even find him. Also did they examine me you know diagnose...?"
"Yeah according to Ava they did" West said looking confused by my sudden question about diagnose.
I nodded in response and rubbed the back of my neck.
"Talia?" Asher's voice startled us both and we looked at the the door where he was standing "how you feeling?" he asked as he walked up to us.
"Better than I expected actually"
"You shocked us all. When Rex brought you, your face was as pale as a vampire" he chuckled, spooky forced chuckle actually. "Ava totally freaked out" He said giving me seal packet of fruits.
"What's this for?" I asked looking at the packet.
"You passed out few hours ago, do you really need a reason to eat something healthy?"
I studied Asher's face for few seconds and tried to feel something anything to confirm that he feels as unease as he looks. But oddly enough I couldn't read his emotions, in fact I couldn't read West's emotions either. A strange calm has settled in there, calm that I didn't notice before, that helps releasing some of the tension, I was feeling before passing out. Being constantly hit by anxiety, rage, disgust, hatred and what not could be really exhausting, after all. But this sudden calmness isn't that relaxing either, especially when I don't even know what is happening with me.
"Do you have time?" I asked taking pack from his hand and putting it down on examining table.
"Yeah...what happened?" his brows furrowed
"Umm, West if you-"
"I am going to Cafeteria, I will see you there" West said patting my shoulder before leaving
"Did you guys examined me" I asked Asher as soon as West left.
"What-"
"Just tell me, did you"
He stood there, staring at me for next few minutes and just when I thought he won't answer he replied "Y-yes"
"Liar" I said now tilting my head to my right and folding arms in front of my chest "You didn't examine me and that's written all over your face Asher"
"No-"
"Oh you know what just accept it that you didn't. Or better yet simply tell me what's going on here"
My question caught him off guard as his eyes widened, which made me smile. Lies slip out, smoothly and easily but at the end of the day it is easy to catch a liar, one right question is all it takes.
"What do you mean?" he asked narrowing his eyes, his voice hard. Same old technique to intimidate someone who is asking you something that you don't like.
"Shut it, Ash. This technique to intimidate me is not going to work. I heard bits of Cora and Benett's conversation, I know something is not right on this ship."
"You are imagining things Talia. You need some rest, I am sure that will help clear your mind" He said and started to walk away.
"I am not imagining things Asher and what I need is answers what is happening on this ship" I walked up to him "And what you need is to tell me the truth. Because if you don't I promise you and your mates will be problem"
"Are you threatening me" he looked at me in surprise and hurt
"If I am"
"Talia, I thought you were my friend"
"Oh what a coincidence? That's exactly what I thought until you decided to lie on my bloody face about examining me"
He stayed quiet for few seconds collecting courage to lie again "Ava examined you" his hard facade is breaking, his uncertain voice is the proof.
"No she didn't" I said through my teeth "Because something is off here and now I want you to tell me what is going on"
Asher closed his eyes and sighed rubbing his face. Collecting himself. A failed attempt
"Talia, I wish I could share this with you. But I can't" rising anxiety was clear from the look on his face "If it gets out this room...it would only cause chaos-"
"It won't, I promise. But if you don't tell me I you guarantee everyone will know the bits of Cora and Benett's conversation that I heard" I said filling my voice with as much determination as I could.
Asher looked at me with utter surprise, as if suddenly I have two heads "You are threatening me" he laughed humorlessly "you know this was the last thing I expected from you Talia" along with his calm and composed facade, he is breaking too. His quivering lips and shaking body tells me enough. He took few steps back to take support of the shelf near to steady himself.
"I never th-tho-thought y-you would-"
"Asher" I walked up to him "Anxiety is like a leak in your energy bucket, If there is a hole in your bucket, you need to settle yourself down and take a bit of time to make the necessary repair." I pressed his shoulders but he didn't look up instead he kept his shaking head down "And repair is possible only if you let it out. Let whatever is troubling you, out."
He still didn't look up, it's as if he has retreated inside of himself. He maintained his cool and calm demeanor for way too long and now that it has shattered he couldn't just stop "Asher, it's one of those times when you need a rock to anchor yourself to. And I promise I will be that rock, I promise no matter what happens, no matter how terrible whatever it is, It won't go out of this room"
"We are late"