"We are late" he said still looking down, his voice cracking. I know how scared he is when I hold his hands in mine, cold as ice and shaking violently. His reaction making me dread whatever it is he is about to tell, making me want to ask him to stop. But I can't, I can't because now if I ask him to stop my brain will simply create scenarios that might be far more worse than actual situation. So it's better to know what the actual problem is than to sit around think about worst case scenario.
"What, do you mean" I asked rubbing his hands which he pulled back and walked to examining table.
"I wish I knew how....to explain this. But" he turned to me with water bottle in his hand and pissed expressions which made me take few steps back "But I can't explain anything" opening the cap he drank water "All we know so far is we are fifty years late and we can't communicate with anyone back on earth" he said wiping his lips.
I still couldn't comprehend what he is implying. Maybe because my brain doesn't want to accept the terrible terrible truth, maybe because denial is the only protection I have against this grim reality. I am just standing one curtain away from the horrendous truth and the only way to not face it is to not remove that curtain.
"We are late, we can't communicate with anyone and apparently we are just travelling in a vast lonely SPACE" he shouted loudly looking at the ceiling, while I just stood there and remembered how West, I and others were admiring the beautiful space, how some were thanking fortune while others were thanking god for giving them the chance to be free and witness the beauty of space home to millions of stars and galaxies. "And what's even worse? OUR SHIP IS DAMAGED" screaming he threw the bottle across the room.
"What do you mean by our ship is damaged" I asked taking two steps in his direction. "It means. OUR SHIP IS DAMAGED, WE CAN'T TRAVEL IN IT FOR MORE THAN TEN DAYS" he said kicking the examining table.
"But how is that even possible. In fact how any of this is possible Harley said" I licked my now dry lips "that our...our AI dr..drarth would wake us up when we are...four days away from Drarth K1. Which was ex..exa..exactly se...seven years away. How could we get-"
"Obviously a system failure occurred, Talia. Drarth is offline now"
"WHAT. But that's not possible Asher" I walked up to to him "She assured us that...that this would be a safe ride. And how could Drarth just go offline and, and how did our ship get damaged? it doesn't make any sense"
"I clearly told you I couldn't explain this. As a matter of fact I couldn't explain you anything Talia."
"Asher..." Olivia's disappointed voice filled the room "I thought you said you will 'just' check on Talia" she walked towards us "I don't remember you informing us about the plan to spill our beans"
"Oh really and for how long do you think you could have hid this from us, haan?"I said folding my arms "everyone's preparing for landing in four days."
Olivia opened her mouth to say something but then closed it, sighing.
We all stood there silently a thick blanket of tension and awkwardness of not knowing what to say next enveloping us. When Asher sat on the examining table holding it's sides so tightly that his knuckles turned white, Olivia started rubbing his back "shhh everything's going to be fine" she whispered, her chocking.
Asher stood up with such a force that Olivia had to take few steps away from him "That's the thing Olivia nothing is going to be fine from here" he said with scary calmness and looked at me "Nothing will ever be fine again"
In past twenty five minutes I guess, I have seen three different shades of Asher. First his fear of what to do next, second his frustration of not knowing what happened. "No that's not true" I stepped towards him and pressed his shoulders softly and yet as firmly as I could to pass him this strange and void strength that I feel. I don't know if I should take this negatively or positively considering we are basically lost in space and this ship is swarming with potential murderers once they know the actual situation. But I do know that Asher need it now "You will make it right, you will make sure we all survive. I believe in you"
My words made him look at me and for seconds I saw hope and determination in those grey eyes before deadly calmness and dangerous acceptance of the faith took over.
"Talia is right" Olivia stepped forward and holding Asher's hand she pressed it visibly softly "We will find a way" saying she forced a smile that I know is forced and filled with grief.
Asher smiled. Smile as void as my grey eyes "didn't expect optimism from a pessimist like you Talia" then he looked at tiny redhead standing by his side with green teary eyes "and certainly didn't expect this kind of impractical answer from a girl as smart and practical as you Olivia"
"We are five decades late, which means the reason why we can't communicate with earth is, it's destroyed there's nothing left to communicate. Which also means that other than forty three of us there are only few millions of humans left, stuffed in spaceships that are rotating around earth. Which by the way also means that billions are dead, because we are late"
Saying this he walked away not giving us chance to say anything thing further. I turned around to stop him but he was gone leaving me behind to stare at the empty doorway with confusion swirling inside.
'Third and final shade of acceptance!'
I would have stood there staring at the doorway for few more hours, if it wasn't for the loud crashing sound, I looked back to find tray that had bloody cottons and some other medical tools was on floor and Olivia was rubbing her face as harshly as she could.
"Everything will be fine right" even I don't know if this was a question or a statement but I said it out loud anyways. Olivia looked at me with tear stained face and walked up to me. "Of course we will find a way. Also I hope you won't tell about this to anyone" she said constantly patting my shoulders and with scary smile plastered over her face.
"Of course I won't" I said gulping and taking a step back.
She nodded smiling "everything's going to be fine" she muttered before leaving.
And as soon as she was out I breathed out.