I feel cold, it's dark around.
I'm soaked in water, it didn't dry easily.
My breathing is heavy, it's like I'm suffocating.
Why?
Why do I even deserve this?
Am I not allowed to love?
Am I not allowed to live like a normal person?
'Why..?'
"WHY!?"
It was all just in thought when suddenly, I shouted in pain.
A pain not physically, but emotionally.
An uncomfortable feeling.
An anger? Sadness? Loneliness?
"Why!?"
I kept shouting and shouting until suddenly, one of the hoarders opened the door.
"Why are you shouting!? What do you want!?"
"I want... To get out of here..."
It's been three days since they locked me up.
No food, no bath, and the only water I receive is from whenever they splash buckets of water to me.
I don't know if this is torture, but if it is, then they're bad at it.
"Is this how you torture apostates!? Huh!?" I asked with a shout.
"Torture? Who said this is torture? We are merely waiting for your trial."
"Trial? I though he'd send a request for me to do the killing instead?"
"The elder had already seen the request, now you'll be under trial if whether or not they'll allow you to do the killing. The elder will decide if you're capable to do it or not."
"After all these days, you finally let me know. Why now? Where is he? Huh? Where is the guy who sent a request to the elder!?"
We glared at each other with both of our teeth grinding when suddenly, the man I've been looking for, came.
"Just in time! Are you ready for your trial?"
He smirked, right after saying it.
2 men approach me close, then suddenly, knocks me down. Leaving me unconscious.
I can feel my body being dragged.
The pain in my wrist, the chain cuffs are tightening..
I can hear them, different people shouting vile words unto me.
'Where am I?'
As soon as I open my eyes, I then saw myself at the center of a crowd.
The crowd consists of all the hoarders and the elder.
They're all shouting vile words to me.
"Traitor!"
"Idiot!"
"Shame!"
I could hear their vile words, left and right.
"You deserve that!"
"Idiot! You should die!"
"Die!"
They never stop...
My fist clenches while my teeth grinds out of anger.
'Why.. Why was I even born as a hoarder? When I could've been born as a normal person..'
The crowd continues to shout when suddenly, the elder raised his right hand to stop the noise.
Everyone followed.
One of the hoarder then introduces me.
"This convict, Akimoto Ryu, is hereby sentenced for trial. His crime: Affair with a local."
'I wonder what my trial is..'
"You are to show us if you're capable to kill the person you have affair with or not."
'How? How will I show it?'
After a while, another man walks into the center and stood right in front of me, chained.
I raised my head to see who he is, but it shocks me.
My eyes opened widely, and paralyzed as if I couldn't move.
My breathing stopped for a moment, as I saw the old man.
The old man from Sapporo..
The crowd continued to say vile words unto us.
"Old man?"
He waved his hand at me.
"Hey, long time no see.."
The hoarder behind him then kicks him to the ground.
"Damn you! Don't touch him!" I burst out of anger.
"Old man, what happen? How'd you end up here?"
He was so frail to even try to stand again.
"Well.. A day after you left, these guys captured me."
"I'm sorry.. This is all my fault.."
My eyes began producing tears, so I looked down to hide my embarrassment.
"None of these are your fault.. If it's anyone's fault, it's them."
I looked at him once more.
He was smiling at me, wrinkles around his eyes while cheeks all raised.
"Helping someone who is in need is not your fault, nor loving someone. It's human nature."
It was a priceless smile.
My world stopped, everything goes silent, I was lost in thought.
'Human nature? Of course. I am human after all...'
'Then why? Why are we not allowed to love then?'
'Could it be? Because they're abandoning their humanity?'
'Why? Just why? All for immortality?'
The elder then raises his right arm, and everyone refrains from shouting.
"Akimoto Ryu. I'm sure you know what your trial is now." The elder says.
'My trial is what?'
"Kill that man..."
He looked at me with dead-fish eyes.
"N-No way!"
"Is that your final decision? We will execute you right here, right now. Including that old man."
"Then we'll kill the person you had an affair with, including her parents, after." The elder added.
I gulped. It's like I don't have a choice at all.
"It's so unfair... Why even bother giving choices when it's literally no choice at all?"
"But if you kill that old man, we will give you the chance to kill the woman you had an affair with, personally."
I stood up with my fists clenching, and gnashing at the same time.
"Why!? Why even bother giving choices when it's literally just all the same end!?"
The elder smirks.
"You think I don't know? That even if I choose to kill him, I'll still get killed in the end!? What are you up to? Why are you playing us like a toy? Are we a toy to you!?"
I took a pause, but continued once more.
"What's the point of having rules and laws, when we ourselves are unlawful? What's the point of becoming immortal when you can't even experience life!?"
I looked down, tears from eye dropped onto the ground.
"We never even chose to be hoarders, nor given the chance to choose if whether or not we want to be hoarders. Yet, we are forced to do the dirty works, and follow rules and laws.. All for what!? For immortality!? I doubt immortality is the only reward! I mean look, I know that some hoarders already collected 200 keychains, but why are there no news about them!? Where have they been? Where did they go? Could it be? That you killed them and took their keychains? All for a better reward than immortality!?"
The crowd began to gossip with one another.
Some are curious, some are confused, some are still bursting out of anger at me, and some are beginning to have doubts.
It was an eye opener for the hoarders, but the elder seems calm.
The elder is literally just smirking, but with clenching fists.
I was glaring at the elder when suddenly, the old man reaches for my foot with his hand.
He shook his head and looked at me.
"Don't make it worse. You just have to play smart, in order to survive. It's ok, you may kill me..."
"What? I can't do tha-"
"Don't do it for them, do it for me... I had enough time in this world. It's time for me to go..." He interrupts.
My eyes began to produce tears.
He was just smiling at me, pricelessly...
I'm sorry old man...