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ROSALEIGH ISABELLÉ
The loud thumping against my chest, the beads of sweat covering my body slowed my pace as suddenly I felt uneasy. The dress I wore was clinging unto me in a way that suffocated me as it became difficult to walk in the heels. Everything buzzed like the loud sound of music that was blarring through the speakers.
This feeling which resided in the corner of my heart was emerging in waves, Anxiety.
Standing in the passage, my eyes travelled to the entrance of the ball - it was filled masks claded faces. The flickering lights did no good in relieving my state as my breaths came out laboured. I tried taking small and steadying breaths to ward off my anxiety but the burning in my chest due to the lack of oxygen was mocking at my attempt.
Realization stung me like acid in my eyes, I couldn't do it at all. I can't be in this place, in the ball with masked people. I wanted to be as far as I could from crowded places thus I almost broke into a run in an effort to escape.
"Hey" a velvety voice trailed as feet thuded following me. I ignored the familiar sound, I can't let him see the glistening specks in my eyes. Tears weren't falling, but they were still there.
Suddenly, I felt him tug my hand and pull me back silently lacing his fingers with mine. Trailing up to the owner of the hand, I noticed Alex smiling down at me as a bit of relief washed over me.
Unfortunately it was short-lived as the loud music again triggered the retreating anxiety. The panic once again taking reigns and control of my body while I tried jerking my hand out of Alex' grasp in a futile attempt.
"Rosaleigh... Rose" Alex called out making me cringe at the fake concern that laced his voice.
"Rosaleigh please don't go." I stumbled into him as he held me by shoulders.
"Alex.. stop coming in my way" I spoke, grimacing when the words came out choked.
"Rosaleigh look at me" he pleased.
My eyes were fixated on the ground. I couldn't look up, didn't want to. Fear, Irritation, Anxiety, Anger were some of the many emotions swirling around me. I was embarrassed at how coward I am.
Couldn't attend a party without causing a scene!!
A tear rolled down my cheek at my vulnerability. A finger pinched my chin raising it. My tears slunk back enough to look into his steel grey eyes. I found sympathy, love and affection shining in them unlike the disparage and resentful look I was expecting. Wordlessly he raised my hand to his lips for a small chaste kiss.
"Alex I can't handle it... sorry" I said meekly as he took slow steps guiding us to hall. I was grateful that the passage was desserted so no one except Alex was witnessing my panic, saving me alot of humiliation.
"Rosaleigh, you dont have to do this if you're not comfortable but please give me a chance... all you need to do is, stay and have faith in me. I'll never let anything bad happen to you" His voice was sincere, his gaze held an unspoken promise. Surprisingly I believed him for an unknown reason.
A weak smile grazed my lips as I wiped my fallen tears. I am willing to give him a chance. My breathing became normal, as anxiety withdrew into the same corner of my heart, dejected by defeat.
I tightened my grip on Alex's hand while we walked into the hall. Alex tilted a look at me, picking two alike masquerade masks from the basket placed on the sidetables.
Wearing the masks, Alex's hand merely stayed on my back while he tugged me to his side, walking towards our friends.
Back at the parking lot, Alex convinced Grace and Lucy to go ahead with their partners as we would follow them in a while. May be he predicted my panic attack much before I had it.
I looked at Lucy and Adam as we halted reaching the couch. They seemed in a detailed discussion on psychological facts based as they were aiming to be psychologists. My eyes roamed around the dance floor to find Grace dancing with Luke. She was enjoying her time with him.
I and Alex did well in the strangled corner of the room, possibly seeming like a creepy couple just watching everyone. No conversation was carried out between us. Alex respected me enough to provide me 'my space' which I was grateful for.
After observing everyone dance on the pop music and sipping my non alcoholic punch for thirty minutes, my muscles started to ease letting go of their previous tension. I was really enjoying the party, my fear for the crowd had passably decreased.
Currently I was playing with the ring on my pinky while listening to some ends of Alex and Adam's conversation about shares and debentures. Luke and Grace came to join us minutes after our arrival. Lucy had went to fetch me some risotto and meat balls when the lights went dimmer and a romantic music started playing. Couples started walking towards the dance floor hand in hand.
Inadvertently, I looked across the table to Alex's seat to find it empty. Instead I felt his presence beside me. Alex's hands slowly slided around my waist, making my breath catching in my throat.
"Let's dance," he whispered close to my ear, his breath slithering provocatively down my neck.
"Is that a good idea?" I asked carefully glancing at the couples swaying to the soft music.
"Probably not, but I still want to dance with you." His voice, low and husky.
Yeah. Like I can stop myself from melting.
He turned me around and moved us through the crowd, his eyes holding mine, a half-cocked grin played on his lips behind the mask. I looked back at my untouched plate of risotto and meat balls catching Gracelyn's wink. A full blown cheshire cat grin dancing on her lips. She was going to eat my ears off once the day was over.
Reaching the middle of the dance floor, Alex brought me in front of him. His left hand slided down to my back while his right held my hand moving us with the music. Summoning up my bravery, I let my right hand run up his chest, revelling in the feel of hardness beneath his tux.
Trying to avert from the upcoming thoughts, I looked beside me at the couple as the girl nestled her head in the man's chest. Moments later Lucy and Grace joined us with their respective partners.
The space between us disappeared when Alex started moving to the music, holding me tight and staring down into my eyes the entire time. His beautiful face hidden behind the mask. I stared into the endless pools of grey that suddenly carried such a meaningful depth instead of the usual guise of shallowness. His hands on me felt right. It was just few couple months since Alexander's arrival still I had a feeling that I've known these captivating eyes since years.
"The colour resembles the blue of your eyes." Alex broke my chain of thoughts. His fingers grazed the texture of the dress. I smiled in response, realising he was referring to colour of my dress.
Soon after, we broke apart as the music ended with a sweet note. The party had come to an end. Returning home I was beaming with joy as I had successfully lasted a party without any major panic attack. A first victory over my fears.