One particular thought entered Wade's head as he entered the office.
"What a year!"
Wade stepped in and got together his things. The goblins have been defeated and the wizarding world returned to, what could be classified as order. Of course, being gone for several months left huge parts of the school in disrepair, and Filch almost blew a gasket. And several of the core teachers along with the Headmaster disappearing left a lot of questions.
'Seriously, this year seemed a lot shorter than the last year. Even with the multi month gap in between chapters, after the author took his ball and went home.'
'To be fair I think he lost his smile.'
'Well, to be fair we spent a lot of time traveling through the goblin's hidden lair.'
Wade stopped in the hall just in time to see Colin Creevey run as fast as his legs could carry him. Draco Malfoy rushed behind him in a sudden blur, as fast as his legs could carry him.
"And that's still a thing," Wade said.
The office of the Defense Against the Dark Arts Teacher opened up and Wade could see Remus Lupin packing up. Curiosity killed the cat, but thankfully not being a feline made Wade immune from getting smothered.
"So, what's the deal?" Wade asked.
"I've resigned as Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher," Remus said.
"Wait, what, why?" Wade asked.
"Well, you see I'm a werewolf and Professor Snape, under the influence of goblin made wine, let it slip that I was one at breakfast the other day," Remus said. "And unfortunately in this world, pureblood money can get a lot done. And there are a lot of parents who have a grudge against me from their time at Hogwarts, especially with students in Slytherin."
Granted, it was ninety-five percent because of James and Sirius, but Remus learned to let those things go.
"So, you're just leaving," Wade said.
"Yes, with my head held high, and with pride," Remus said. "If I inspired one student to study this year, then it will be worth it, even if the end."
Oh, Wade had dust in his eye or something. The Merc brushed a tear from his eye.
"Besides, I'm sure Dumbledore will find a suitable replacement," Remus said.
"Hope so," Wade said. "Of course, his track record has been spotty there. Can't you believe that one year, Defense Against the Dark Arts was teached by a chicken. And it took them almost the entire year before they found out."
"Well, yes, Dumbledore had some lean options," Remus said. "I'm just grateful for the Wolfsbane and Snape making it for me."
"Yes, Snape is a bit softie deep down," Wade said.
Remus just smiled. He could just imagine Sirius's response if he was here. It would likely be very snarky.
"I'm off on a new adventure, once I say goodbye to a few people," Remus said. "Someone has to keep Sirius in line...to make sure he doesn't get sent off to Azkaban for real this time."
There was a part of Remus for a hot moment that thought that Sirius purposely went away to Azkaban to avoid the paternity suits against him, but it was beside the point.
'And the main character of this series makes a cameo.'
Harry slipped in to the office door to have a word with Remus. And Wade exited stage right.
"Can you keep a secret?"
Dumbledore bounced up and down to the agitation of Snape, McGonagall, and Filch, and the bemusement of Wade.
"Is this is about the fact that you've killed Sally Anne-Perks, cut up her body, and processed it for meat?" Wade asked.
"Wade, my boy, I told you that she moved away after her father got a job in a different country," Dumbledore said.
Wade snorted, a likely story.
"And I've got a big announcement to make," Dumbledore said. "I need all of you to keep a secret, because if this gets out, the students are going to go banana!"
"Is the Ministry going to go nut if the word leaks out?" Deadpool asked.
'Is anyone reading this story going to get the reference we're making?'
'Obviously not, but since when has that stopped us before.'
'Touche.'
"Just let it out, Dumbledore," Snape said. "What did you do this time?"
"For the first time in centuries, Hogwarts is going to host the brand return of the Triwizard Tournament," Dumbledore said.
"The Triwizard Tournament?" McGonagall asked.
"Yes," Dumbledore said.
"You've arranged for a tournament to come back which has one of the highest death tolls of any magical event in history," Snape said.
"Cornelius thinks, after I mentioned to it, that it would be good to erase all of the bad feelings of the past couple of years, with Voodoo Hillbillies and singing goblins," Dumbledore said. "The Minister is happy for this to happening for the purposes of International Magical Cooperation. And what's better, the tournament's happening at Hogwarts."
"You're holding the tournament here?" McGonagall asked.
"Yes, I know," Dumbledore said with giddiness dancing in his voice. "We have a chance to restore our reputation. Everyone in Britain knows that Hogwarts in the safest place in the world. But we have a bit of a reputation outside of the country as being insecure."
"Was this before or after Harry Potter came to Hogwarts?" Deadpool asked.
"See, Potter's the problem, expel him," Snape said. "Even this nutcase agrees with me!"
"Severus, if you please."
Snape snapped his mouth shut. Perhaps one of these days he would get the Headmaster to listen to reason and sense. And one of these days, he would be out of this dead end job, teaching dunderheads.
"We've had a few isolated incidents, but Hogwarts will be the safest it will ever be," Dumbledore said. "I will assure our foreign guests that they will have nothing to worry about and we'll be able to make all kind of new friends with our guests."
Call Wade a cynic, but he doubted that anyone running this tournament or competing in it, had any interest in International Cooperation, other than Dumbledore who was in fact that delusional In the case of Fudge, he wanted bragging rights for his country's champion to beat the champions of the other two schools. And the other two competing schools wanted to humiliate Hogwarts and their champion, along with Dumbledore and Fudge on the grandest stage of their on, on their own turf.
Only Albus Dumbledore lived some fantasy land where this tournament was about International Magical Cooperation.
"So, how many champions will be in this Triwizard Tournament?" Wade asked.
"Three of course, one from each of the schools," Dumbledore said.
"And what would happen in a fourth champion got entered into the tournament under some nefarious circumstances?" Wade asked.
Dumbledore responded with a fully formed belly laugh.
"There's a powerful magical artifact which cannot be bamboozled,' Dumbledore said. "It's inconceivable that any fourth champion can compete in this Triwizard."
"But what if it happens?" Wade asked.
"If it's and buts were soda and nuts, we'll be having a party!" Dumbledore sang.
McGonagall put a hand on Dumbledore's forehead. He was not running a fever, but she still wanted to have him checked out and potentially sent on an extended vacation.
"I don't know why you're worried," Dumbledore said. "I've taken every step possible to make sure that nothing bad will happen and the tournament will go smoothly."
"You mean like you did with the Philosopher's Stone," Wade deadbanned.
"Exactly," Dumbledore said. "But, I'm going to convince my close personal friend, Alastor Moody to come out of retirement and help oversee the security of the Goblet of Fire He's very detailed oriented. I know the man, better than I know the back of my hand."
Dumbledore lifted up the back of his hand to examine it. He had been caught off guard by something peculiar on his hand.
"You know, I've never noticed that before," Dumbledore murmured calmly.
"To be fair, Moody's a paranoid kook, so no one will try anything when he's around," Snape grudgingly admitted.
The other members of staff responded in nod. Perhaps, Dumbledore had done something right and hired the one man who would prevent tampering of the Goblet of Fire.
Well unless Moody got replaced by some kind of doppelganger before he arrived at Hogwarts. But, what were the odds of that? Not even Bagman would gamble on something so inconceivable.
"And now, we feast," Dumbledore said. "Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, teach us something please…."
Everyone bolted to be spared of Dumbledore's singing. Out of nowhere, Luna joined him, playing a Kazoo, and Peeves played the always classic pots and pans.
Lord Voldemort simmered deep in the deepest, darkest forests of Albania. For the past three years, Voldemort stewed in nothing but the hatred and thoughts of revenge. He would gain his unholy revenge on Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore, and most importantly, that Deputy Caretaker, Wade Wilson. Revenge would be sweet.
He possessed as many snakes as possible who came to his area of the Forest, but it was not enough, it was never enough. Voldemort hoped to be strong enough to be able to return to Little Hangleton one day, to reunite with his familiar, Nagini. These snakes were extremely weak compared to Voldemort's precious, his greatest creation.
But, for now, Voldemort would have to live off of any rodents and rabbits, and the rare lost child who stumbled into the Forest. Although, Voldemort only ate small children as a course of necessity. Eating children gave the Dark Lord gas.
Someone stumbled down Voldemort's area of the forest. The Dark Lord's attention perked up. A mysterious woman dressed in a buttoned up cloak.
"My Lord, are you here?"
One of his followers finally came for him? The only woman who had been fanatical enough to be able to join the Inner Circle was Bellatrix and Voldemort learned she had been sent to Azkaban, rather than renounce him. This pleased Voldemort. Spineless fools like Malfoy pleased him even less.
And yet, this woman came into the clearing.
"I know you're here. Something has gone wrong. Wormtail was executed!"
So Wormtail lived long enough to be executed by the Ministry of Magic. Voldemort barely spent time thinking about that useful idiot. Although he would have been desperate to find any help.
Voldemort could only speak Parseltongue in this form which made it difficult to communicate with him.
"I must gain her attention," he hissed.
"There you are."
A silver haired young woman appeared. Something about her seemed a bit off to the Dark Lord, but he could not put his finger on it just yet.
"My Lord, this time I won't fail you. The timeline has been ruined. The woman who now rules Europe has overrun it with squirrels."
Yes, quite mad indeed.
"Wait, can you understand me?" Voldemort asked.
"Yes," she said. "My name is Delphi Riddle. I'm your daughter."
Voldemort thought that she was quite mad indeed. He did not have any brats running around.
"We haven't met, Daddy, because I haven't been born," she said. "And if you don't leave this forest, I'll never be born."
Something about anyone calling him "Daddy" brought chills down Voldemort's nonexistent spine. Ever since Lucius drunkenly did so at the first and only Death Eater Christmas Party one year. Voldemort taught the elder Malfoy a few things about moderation on that day.
This also reminded Voldemort of the time he tortured an uppity Mudblood for saying that he should not say Merry Christmas, he should say Happy Holidays instead. Good times, very good times.
"So, your my daughter from the future," Voldemort said.
The strong magic coming from her caught Voldemort's interest and attention more than anything else.
"Yes," she said. "I am the most brilliant witch since Rowena and the most powerful since Morgana."
"And so modest as well," Voldemort hissed. "I have to admit, you are not what I would expect."
The child seemed a bit unwell, but Voldemort could feel a pull towards this woman.
"I need to help you, return back to power," she said. "I can restore you back…."
"You're perfect," Voldemort hissed.
"Yes, I know I am."
"The perfect vessel."
Black tentacles shot out of the snake in the forest and latched onto the mysterious child, whose name escaped Voldemort's mind. All that mattered was she was a willing human host which would allow him to get his revenge. And unlike Quirrell, Voldemort seeped into her mind and took her over utterly.
A power Voldemort overlooked that he could possess his bloodline. Mostly due to the fact that he murdered the rest of his bloodline years ago. And so Lord Voldemort entered his daughter and made her his.
Power seeped, as Voldemort finally had a body one more time, although one that was inferior to what he wanted. But, this cursed child's body worked to give him mobility and be the first step so he could to power.
Now, Voldemort would be one step closer to achieving ultimate power and revenge. Against Potter, against Dumbledore, and against that Caretaker.