Even though I knew it was just a dream, it still hurts a lot to the point that I want to reject it all and forget it all…
I moved my knees close to my chest and hugged it, to hide my face with it.
Everything hurts like hell… I don't want to feel like this anymore, I don't want to get hurt anymore!
A blue butterfly shone in front of me, and frolicked around me, dancing with my cries as music.
It soon dispersed and left me alone. "I don't want to lose anything, anymore!" my fingers nearly dug a hole on my shorts, as I tighten my grip on my knees.
Quickly, I opened my eyes a tad too aggressive.
Short quick breaths left my mouth, altogether as tears fell down my eyes to my cheeks, onward the bed I was lying at.
I heard someone's quiet sniffles, as I felt a grip on my right hand and sat up.
A word left my mouth, "F-father..?" as I saw the Emperor right beside me, crying while holding my right hand tightly.
He gasped.
"Ed?! Are you fine? Does it hurt somewhere?" he asked, as he grab hold of my shoulder. "I am fine, sir" I answered, as I slightly pushed him.
Father backed off from me and asked, "Are you sure?" with a worried face, filled with sweat and tears.
I nodded, whilst looking down.
"I'm glad" he sighed in relief and I asked him, "Were you, I mean… your majesty here since I fainted?" while still looking down.
Father clenched his fists and nodded, "Of course!" with his large voice that made me raise my head up and look at him.
I remained silent and looked at him.
Father gasped and panicked, "Edward?!" as he looked at me with his eyes wide and jaw nearly swaying.
I touched my cheeks, and felt something hot flowing down my face.
"Eh..?" my voice broke into a chuckle, "W-why the hell am I crying?" as tears fell down my eyes.
Father stood off the chair he was sitting at and grabbed hold of my shoulders again, before asking, "Does it hurt somewhere, Ed?"
I suddenly remembered my previous dad.
"Hakuya, are you fine? Is it hot? Or is it too cold? Hmm, just tell me if something feels wrong, and Dad'll do something about it quickly, Hakuya"
He used to panic like that, all the time, whenever he is taking care of me when I get a cold or sick.
I wiped my tears off.
Why have I forgotten such thing? Why is it that I can no longer go back to how it all used to be?
I sobbed and tears flowed once again.
The word, "Why..?" left my mouth, and Father took his hand off my shoulder to wrap it around me.
"It's alright, Edward" he patted my back. "Everything's all right, my son. Your father, I am here beside you"
Father kept on repeating those words to me, as he patted my back and I clutched on his shirt, whilst crying, a bit loudly.
I don't want to lose anything, anymore.
"Hakuya? Your dad's here, so don't worry" the image of Dad patting my head, as I grabbed on his shirt came to my mind.
I don't want to feel this sadness, anymore…
Fiore took a peek from my room's door that was opened a bit and smirked, before leaving the front of my door.
"What a crybaby"
…
My eyes are swollen from all the crying I did.
At times like this, is when I don't want to meet any people. But, surely Maria will come later, for she will help me with my clothes.
I sighed and looked at the four corners of my room's ceiling.
"This ceiling still feels unfamiliar, but I am constantly getting used to it…" I mumbled, as I raised my right hand, like I was trying to grasp something above.
A familiar voice spoke, "Seems like you're doing fine" I quickly sat down and looked at who was talking.
I frowned, as I saw my red haired tutor.
"Can you knock before entering?" I pointed at the door and he stated, "If I did, you would surely reject me by the minute you see it's me, right?"
Well, he isn't wrong.
"At least, knock next time. I will answer you depending on the matter" I stated, as I pointed out the chair next to my bed.
Fiore nodded and took a seat.
"So, how are you doing? Are you feeling alright?" he asked and I answered, "Kinda" as I grabbed my shirt and frowned.
Fiore asked, "Is something the matter?" I shook my head, "N-no…" and beamed a forced smile at him.
He then kept on looking at me with doubt and I kept on beaming a forced smile at him, as my body slowly backed off.
"That is a lie" he sighed and I flinched, "Eh?"
Fiore softly smiled, "You can be honest to me, Ed" and I chuckled, before bursting out to laughter.
"Why are you laughing?" he blushed. "B-because… because you are saying something unlike you"
I tried to subside my own laughter, and Fiore remained silent as he bit his lower lip, whilst blushing.
"What will you do if I tell you that I am not feeling well?"
Fiore's face changed into a serious one and asked, "Where does it hurt?" I shook my head towards his question.
"No, it's not physical pain. More or less, it is mental pain" I answered, as I looked down trying to avert his gaze.
Fiore remained silent.
"I am afraid… I'm afraid to lose something… to lose someone…" I grabbed on my shirt, as I felt shivers.
Fiore spoke up, "Then keep them in sight"
"Eh?" I mumbled, as I unconsciously let go off my shirt. "Like I said, keep them in sight. If you don't want to lose them, protect them" he repeated.
I grunted.
"There's no way I can do that, I am just a kid after all" my hands clenched into fists. "You can't do anything with that" he looked away from me and I smiled bitterly.
Yeah, I can't do anything with that.
Not a guy like me can't do anything, even if I strongly think that I want to protect them, they'll just leave me.
I felt a soft touch on my head. "Eh?" and I raised my head up, and saw Fiore smiling gently, whilst patting my head.
"Since, you're a kid. It is impossible for you to protect those things, those people you don't want to lose. However, you can choose to cherish them"
I mumbled, "Cherish..?" and he nodded.
"Cherish them for as much as you can. Make a lot of memories with them. So that you wouldn't forget them, even after they're gone.
You're still young, Ed. From now on, you will meet a lot of people and there will surely be a lot of partings, awaiting you.
But, don't lose to your sadness. Gulp all of those feelings all in one and smile without a care for the world, like this"
He beamed a big grin at me, as his red haired brighten up, with the setting sun's light that entered from the window, behind me.
"Plus, it's not like you won't meet someone again. After parting with someone, you will meet someone again and lose someone again.
It will be sad. But when you are reminded of all the things you did together, you will miss them and will be motivated, as well"
Fiore grinned, once again, "So, it is all good!" and a slight blush appeared on my cheeks. "Is it that kind of thing?" I tilted my head to the side.
"It is! So, don't bother to burden yourself with such thoughts and go behave like a normal kid you are!" he ruffled my hair, and I nodded with a smile.
…
A few hours already passed after that, when we noticed that the night has come, while we were talking to each other.
"Then I will be going! Don't go doing reckless things, kay?"
I looked at him with a blank smile and told him, "I won't" with a tone that will assure him and trust me.
He went on and bid me goodbye.
I kept on looking at his back, until he disappeared from my sight. My feet then dragged me inside my room.
Onto my bed, I jumped and looked at my right palm. "I will meet someone again, huh?" I mumbled to myself, as I remembered his words.
I guess the fact that I got reincarnated means that I will be get to meet new people, like how I really did.
Maybe it's not bad to trust Fiore, sometimes.
Soon, my conscious went on drifting off a new sea and I found myself sleeping in a weird position.
…
The next day, I drowsily woke up and found my body aching, thanks to the weird position I had, when sleeping.
I mumbled the words, "It's morning already, huh?" along with a yawn, before looking at the grandfather clock.
It's near the time Maria comes in to wake me up and clean my room, while Zack waits for me outside.
And like I expected, I heard a knock.
I cheerfully answered, "Comin'!" as I got off my bed and sprinted to my room's door to go open the door for Maria.
Surely, she was worried about me, yesterday. Maybe she became a sobbing mess, without me knowing.
So, I ought to show her my cheerful side, right?
After opening the door, I was about to greet, "Good morning, Mar—"when I suddenly noticed who was really, in front of me.
Instead of the marigold hair color, what I saw was a red hair color.
"Ah…" my body freezed still and a thought passed by my mind, "I shouldn't have open the door"
Fiore was the one right in front of me. "Good morning, Ed!" he smiled, as he waved.
I quickly pulled the door knob to shut the door, but Fiore stopped it by sticking his foot in, with a scary smile.
"What do you want?" I asked him with a forced smile. "You are a bit cold" Fiore whimpered, as he grabbed the door to pull it open.
I continued on pulling the door shut and shouted, "Hurry up with your matter!" with a freaked out face and tone.
He giggled.
"Fine, fine" Fiore cleaned his throat and asked, "Why don't you go hang out at the city with me?"
I looked at him with an expressionless face, "No"
…
"Wow!" I exclaimed, as I looked around the city. "Haah, it was quite hard to pull you out of your room, earlier" Fiore wiped his forehead with a sigh of relief.
Right after I refused Fiore's invitation, he got pissed off and quickly tried to pull me out of my room.
Maria appeared and helped me changed my clothes.
After I got my clothes changed, Fiore used Maria to his advantages and made me come here, to the city.
He really knows what my weakness is.
Well, earlier, I wasn't interested at all, but now that I saw the city and the festival going on around, my curiosity level is going high up.
Fiore asked, "You look very amazed. Is it your first time here at the city, your highness?" as he saw my face.
"Nope, but it is my first time going at the festival"
The well-known festival of the City of Tybalt named, Tybalt Festival, is an annual festival that happens for a week.
According to the books I've read, this festival occurs to celebrate the birth of Tybalt, a knight who protected this city and is the person where this city's name was from.
I don't go that much, after all I am a prince. These kinds of place are often where royals are kidnapped.
"If it is your first time…" Fiore spoke up.
He then crouched to par my height, "Why don't I be your guide, then?" and held out his right hand to me.
I looked at him with my eyes wide and soon I chuckled, before nodding, "I'll take upon your offer!"
We went to a lot of places, after that.
And instead of being pulled around by Fiore, I was the one pulling him around. When we noticed, the sun was already setting.
…
I sat down the grass nearby the river, with Fiore.
"How was your day today, your highness?" he asked me and I pressed my chin, before answering, "It was bad" with a sigh
Fiore remained silent.
Him being this quiet makes me a bit uncomfortable, so I spared a glimpse at him and saw him looking like a kid that lost his Mom.
I stood up quick.
"That was a joke! I was kidding, okay? I had fun, really fun!" I told him, as I tried to clear the misunderstanding that I made.
He wiped his tears and looked up at me, "Really?" with puppy eyes. "Yeah" I nodded, with a sigh.
Don't go looking at me with puppy eyes, aren't you 23?
Fiore smiled.
"Then, how about we fish as a conclusion of today?" he said and I went with the flow, "Alright, let's go!" and nodded.
Hmm, wait?
"What did you just say?" I asked Fiore, who stood up from where he was sitting at. "We're gonna go fish, as conclusion" he tilted his head to the side.
I grabbed my forehead.
"W-wait. I do get that you want to fish. Yeah, I did. But why fish, specifically?" I asked him, as I took my hand off my forehead.
Fiore turned to fully face me and clenched his right fist. "Because we can compete on it!" he proudly said.
Because we can compete on it!
Because we can compete on it..
Because we can compete on it…
"Are you a brat?" I unconsciously retorted, as I got myself back the reality. "Shouldn't you kindly rephrase it to kid, at least?" he complained.
I sighed.
Fiore called, "Ed" and I looked at him and his serious face. "What will be betting?" I asked him, as I rubbed my neck.
His eyes widened with joy.
"Like the last one! The loser gets to do one thing the winner ask him" he answered and grinned, "That's the bet we'll have this time, as well"
I sighed, once again.
"I'm fine with that, but you're quite stubborn with that bet. Just what do you want me to do? I won't be able to give you money or a land, you know"
He laughed and mumbled, "I won't ask for such thing"
"Then, what do you want me to do?" I asked him, as I felt a few shivers down my spine, whilst thinking about it.
Fiore raised his index finger and pressed his lips with it, as he said, "It's a secret for now" and winked.
…
After that we went back to the festival and miraculously found a shop that rents a fishing rod, so we are now fishing using the rods we rented.
Fiore asked, "Bored?"
"Well, we've been waiting for fishes, for about an hour now" I stated, as I raised my rod and put it back the river.
Fiore giggled.
"Then, why don't you listen to my monologue?" he stated and I nodded, "Go on"
This guy loves to tell me stories, his monologues and things, now and then. He mostly tells me one or two, when we're supposed to be studying.
Really, if the Emperor ask me about him, I would say that he is more of a playmate, than a royal tutor.
"Everything follows a certain cycle, whether it is us humans, animals and even things that don't have souls. Everything!"
Fiore started, in a not so loud voice and he smiled at me.
"They say that change is inevitable, but the fact that cycle occurs never changes. This is the one thing that remains the same"
Fiore turned to look at the river, in front of us.
"Anything can be called a cycle, as long as it flows like usual. The season, time and growth. All of it can be a cycle"
He looked up at the sky and mumbled, "Just why does a cycle never change? Maybe because it is change, itself"
"It changes a human, it changes the world and the days that seemed to never end. Cycle changes everything that was usual"
Fiore smiled, a bit bitterly.
"Someday, someone will live from our lives, and their departure will change everything, in our lives"
I was slowly reminded of my previous parents, my previous little sister, my first love, and Mom.
"We can't go against that fact. We can only watch their backs as they go further from us, and from our lives"
Fiore looked down and I remained silent.
"But, you know" he spoke up. "Such thing is a given fact. After all, to grow as a human… to be a bonafide human, we must lose some things and earn some things"
He slowly looked at me, whilst saying, "You will grow as your world grows when you get to know others' worlds, Ed"
"Don't be afraid to know someone, because you're scared of losing them. Such thing is needed for you to grow as a human and for your world to become larger"
He patted my head and grinned, as I silently listened to him.
There was a part of me that agreed with Fiore, and a part of me who vaguely took everything he said.
"That's all from me… Well, even though I have stated it so passionately, I am just repeating the words of someone I know from a long time ago" he mumbled.
I asked him, "Whose words..?"
"It was the words of my very first friend, you know. His name is A…." quickly, he pulled his rod up. "E-Oh, this seems like a big one, Ed! Don't forget about the bet!"
He cut the most intriguing part of his story, sheesh.
…
"Now, what are we going to do with this load of fishes?!" Fiore asked, as he panted while we stand in front of the palace's gate.
I clicked my tongue.
"You were the one who suggested a fishing competition. Now you're asking me that?" I complained to him.
We brought the load of fishes to Yer. He was a bit surprised to see it, so it was really a good thing that he accepted it.
The guy jokingly said that I will be having fish meal for weeks, to finish all of it, though.
While we were walking back to my room, Fiore tapped my shoulder. "You didn't forget the bet, right?" he spoke, with a grin.
I sighed.
"You really have a one-way thinking, don't you?" I told him and all I got back was Fiore's usual grin.
I sighed, once again, before smiling softly.
Slowly, I moved my body to look at Fiore and I asked him, "So, just what do you want me to do?"
Fiore smiled and crouched down, before me.
"Promise me. That you won't come to hate me, even if I leave you or anything…" he spoke, with a face that was about to cry.
Why is he asking me such thing, with a face like that?
I gulped my questions in and smiled, "I already hate you and it can't get any more worse, than now"
Fiore looked at me with a dumb face, before he started giggling.
"You really are a stubborn kid, aren't you?" he stood up and ruffled my hair. "Stop treating me like a kid!" I pouted and he chuckled, "Aren't you a kid?"
What if I tell you that I am a 27 years old guy inside? Huh?
…
That time, I didn't noticed that it was Fiore's own way of saying goodbye for the end that was about to come later.
It was his awkward and coward way…
If I noticed it more sooner, I shouldn't have regretted everything. I was surely able to prepare myself.