I looked like boiled shit.
Cali hadn't said anything, and Sakura had no frame of reference, but I could tell right away when I looked at myself in the mirror the morning after we turned in the bounty. My already squalid complexion had turned even paler, and the infected veins running under my skin were becoming more prominent. I had thought that these changes had stopped, and they had for a time, but ingesting the power of a second cursed item had started it up all over again.
I had no idea what was happening to me, all I knew was that if it made me look like a dead man walking it couldn't be good. Nobody knew anything about the cursed items, how they worked, or even the full consequences of using them. The users had a very short life expectancy after all. When I borrowed the bathroom in Sakura's home to clean myself for the first time in a week, I realized just how bad it had become.
I didn't feel it though.
If anything, I felt like I had grown much, much stronger. The initial pain from absorbing the Eye faded after a few hours. Stigma had gained all of its abilities. I didn't have much use for an unconditional brainwashing tool. I refused to even use the weaker version of that power that Stigma had originally arrived with.
Sakura's home was unusually comfortable. It disquieted me, too adjusted to sleeping outside in the cold and wet, or at best a cheap hotel room with the very basics. Sakura's home was a home, with everything that came with it. Portraits of family, cushions and pillows, fabric draped across the walls, personal possessions tossed onto surfaces and into cabinets. I was turning green with envy.
That wasn't her fault, it was just the shitty hand I got dealt when I reincarnated.
With that said it wasn't the most comfortable sleeping experience I ever had. I was waiting for the penny to drop, to find a body under the floorboards or wake up to her sinking a knife into my gut and stealing Stigma away from me. Nothing nice ever happened to me. I was happy to awake the next morning with my insides still inside.
"Good morning Ren-san!"
I grumbled a response and planted myself down onto a wooden chair beside the dining table. Sakura had quickly slipped back into old, Japanese habits, even though we were the only two people who could understand them. She had decided to prepare breakfast for me and Cali.
"There's no need to feed us as well."
Sakura had grown a little more confident when speaking with me, "No, it's okay. My parents said I could use all of these ingredients before they return – yet I'm nowhere close to using all of them. It would be a terrible waste to throw it out."
"Do they know about your adventures outside the house?"
Sakura froze up, that answered that.
I tried to appeal to her sense of reason, "What's wrong with just… kicking back and enjoying what you have? You could get a good job, one that doesn't involve risking life and limb for shitty pay. Your own house, maybe find a partner to share it with. Things that normal people do."
"Hm. But… wouldn't it be a shame to have such an amazing weapon and not use it?" she pondered, "I always thought that I'm here on this planet for a reason. I want to change the world, go on a grand adventure!"
"They say the grass is always greener on the other side. Adventuring means toughing it out in the wilderness, not having enough money for anything, watching out for bandits on the roads, and taking on jobs that everyone else is smart enough to keep away from."
I made it sound more romantic than it really was, and Sakura was immediately infatuated. She sat down across from me and cupped her face in her hands, "Oh! Do you have any interesting stories?"
"I do, but not appropriate for a young lady like yourself."
"I'm technically twenty-six!" she objected.
"And how old are you now?"
"…Sixteen."
"Listen Sakura, I'll be straight with you. Some of those tales are exciting, but a damn sight more of them are distressing, depressing, and miserable. This is a real place, filled with real people and real problems. I pick through old battlefields for a living, I'm a thief. I've seen enough dead bodies for one lifetime. If you want high adventure with mythical creatures and amazing loot, I don't know where to find it."
"I know someone who does!"
"Really?"
She nodded eagerly, "Uh-huh. The old man who taught me how to use this sword, he knows a lot of things."
I wasn't going to pour any more cold water on her. I just didn't understand where she was coming from. This wasn't a fun time, not for me anyway. I couldn't imagine putting myself into such huge amounts of danger for no good reason.
Stigma appeared behind her and pinched the bridge of her nose in frustration, "Master, perhaps this is a lead we should pursue. Killing and consuming a mythical creature would provide us with years of energy. Assuming we're strong enough, of course."
Being strong enough was exactly my problem. I needed to learn a bevvy of combat and survival skills to even stand a chance. A mere mortal like me could only overpower a monster like that with years of non-stop training. Stigma's power could help me get halfway there, but the other half of the equation was my equipment. I needed proper, forged armor from an expert to provide me with good defence, or I'd be turned into a red splatter on the ground before I could move.
"I'm not in Blackwake to go on an adventure, as soon as my business here is done with I'm heading back to the Federation."
I wasn't going to tell her I was here to kill someone.
"Haven't you ever wanted to try?"
"Try?"
"To go do something like in a light novel. Fight a great evil with your comrades," her eyes glittered with excitement.
"I haven't had the chance to try, Sakura. I'm just a crook, and once you're in the dirt like me – it's nearly impossible to get out again." I was talking to a brick wall. Sakura couldn't possibly understand the real complexities behind the way things worked around here. She was still a kid at heart, two lives in or no, a lackadaisical desire to emulate the heroes in her novels driving her into a dangerous place.
I couldn't abide by people like that. Every week I'd hear a new tale about a rogue, much like myself, trying to make something of themselves. They always ended the same way – with them in ruins, their plans torn to shreds, and the community of people who once helped them rejecting them. Bell was the latest in a long line of idiots who thought he'd figured things out, found the trick that nobody else could see.
There was no place for people like us.
Even though Bell had sold his soul to the devil for a monetary payment he was still one of us. The blood of a criminal ran through his veins, from the perspective of the people paying him to be an amusing toy, he was disposable. Once they grew tired of dealing with him the deal would end. He'd be cast back out into the streets, this time blacklisted by every rogue circuit in the Kingdom, or he'd be dead.
The conversation was disrupted by the arrival of Cali, who had decided to shed most of her armor and clothing in favour of a white nightie and a small pair of underwear. The slovenly girl took her seat at the table and started to eat without a word spared to either of us.
"Cali-chan…"
"Hm?"
"Are you okay with being so… undressed in front of Ren?"
"Ren has already made it clear that the prospect of him using my body is almost zero."
"That isn't really the problem," she frowned.
"Cali works on a different level to the rest of us," I explained, "Just ignore it."
Sakura withheld any further questions. I took up her offer and completed my full course breakfast, before returning to my room and gearing up. I'd forgotten just how heavy the chestplate and chainmail was until I put it back on, after hours of being mostly burden free.
When I returned to the living room, Sakura had also changed into a new set of clothes. "If you two aren't occupied today, would you like to speak with my teacher? He might know more about Stigma, since he knew so much about Veritas."
That posed an issue. Doing so would mean that I couldn't follow up on finding Bell for a few hours, he was probably begging and pleading with Lord Forester right now to be moved someplace new. On the other hand, this was an opportunity to learn more that I couldn't realistically pass up on.
"Agh, you're putting me in a tough spot here Sakura."
"His house is really close, it shouldn't take too long. And I'd really like to hear more from him about Stigma!"
"Fine. Let's hurry it up then."
Sakura clapped her hands together in excitement. I hoped I wouldn't regret this choice later.
Sakura was at least being truthful about how close his house was. Five minutes of walking brought us to the front door of an ornately decorated, three story townhouse. It must have cost an eye-watering amount of money to buy such a large building in a densely populated area. She knocked on the door, and a few moments later a middle-aged man with greying hair appeared behind it.
"Sakura?"
"Hello teacher!"
His eyes turned to me and Cali, he wasn't expecting guests. "Who are these two?"
"This is Ren and Cali. I asked Ren to come visit because he has something special in his possession."
He wasn't pleased, "Sakura, what did I say about speaking so brazenly with strangers? Your parents are going to be furious."
Still, he stepped aside and waved us inside. The bottom floor of his house was filled with bookshelves, making it look more like a library than a home. A table covered in tomes lay in the middle of the space. The man quickly set about clearing a space on that table and making things look presentable.
"Sakura told me you were a swordsman, not a scholar."
He scoffed, "I can be both. My name is Danton. What is it that has fascinated my curious apprentice so?"
I drew Stigma from her sheathe and laid her out on the table. Danton nearly backed out of the room in shock.
"How are you still alive?" he asked, almost demanding in tone.
"Luck."
"Sakura, how did you meet this man?"
Sakura wasn't sure why he was so scared, "In the wilderness - we crossed paths."
He was distraught to even see it, "You bring ill-tidings to my home and my city. I never believed I'd have the misfortune of seeing this thing for myself."
"She said you'd know more," I responded, "What do you know? Where did this sword come from? And how can I get rid of the curse?"
"There is no way to be rid of that curse, you damn fool. The price to pay for such an immense power is the blood of others."
"I knew this was a waste of time," I reached out to reclaim Stigma from the table, but Danton reached out and grabbed my arm, wrenching it to one side. I was pissed, "Take it off, or I fucking break it off." He got up in my face and stared dead into my eyes.
"I'll give you your damn answers. But you're going to leave Sakura alone in return."
"News to me, I wasn't going to involve her in my shit anyway."
"…Good."
This was going to be rough.