The next day, Mikado was driven to school by her new personal taxi, only out of politeness though. She actually has a bit of claustrophobia and in cars, she feels claustrophobic. That's why she prefers to walk to school or cycle to school. Only if it is absolutely necessary will she take the car and that's probably when she's on her way to her funeral bed.
"Where to Ms.Shibuya?"the driver asked politely, looking into the rear view window to look at Mikado. "King's academy."she replied in a polite but curt tone, looking out of the car window as she did. "Right away Ms."he replied as he slowly drove out of the iron gates.
The drive was silent yet not awkward. It was a comfortable silence that both preferred. No radio. Only the sound of breathing and the tires on the road. Gae Min-Hyuk drove and Mikado was in deep thoughts, thinking about the months of Halloween that happened a month ago. 'Nothing followed up after Min-Jun attacked. Do his parents know? His sister?��she wondered, sighing a bit. So many answers yet she had no means to answer them. No means to answer them yet.
Suddenly, the car swerved and Mikado was flung from her seat, bashing her head against the car window. She could feel intense heat from somewhere, voices shouting, somebody trying to unbuckle her before her world was excluded by darkness.
~Mikado's point of view~
Everything is dark. I can't see or feel. Yet, I don't mind really. It's comforting, this vast darkness. There seems to be no end to it. It's just so peaceful, so calm, so quiet. There's nothing there, nobody here to distract me, annoy me. I a, completely on my own for once with nobody there to bother me or keep an eye on me. I feel free. Freed from those shackles that bind me to this harsh world. Free from the shackles that chain me to a stupid family name. People don't live to work but work to live. How much of that is true? In a way, people do live to work because without work, you can't live. Then again, you only work so you can live. It's like life and death. Neither can exist with the other. Without death, there's no food so a being can live. Without life, there is no death.
I can hear muffled voices. Some people are...shouting? I can feel things suddenly being injected in me. Needles. I'm not scared of needles, I just don't like them. They hurt when they are put into your skin and leave some throbbing pain, unless of course it's anaesthetic. Otherwise, it can be quite painful to have a needle pushed into your skin.
I don't know how long but I woke up again unfortunately. Maybe it would've been better if I was dead. I would no longer be troubling the person that is after me. Did Mr.Gae Min-Hyuk survive? Did I...did I kill him? I hope he's not dead. I just inconvenienced, destroyed a family, even though they might not' even been necessarily happy. I don't want that. No, I definitely don't want that to have happened.
A nurse walked in, carrying a clipboard. She suddenly jumped when she saw my eyes open and my arm reaching out towards her. "Oh my god!"she breathed as she saw me try to reach out to her. "Sweetie, don't strain yourself."she suddenly said, walking towards me and gently pushing my arm back down. "Don't strain yourself dear."she said like a mother speaking to her own child. "Water."I managed to mutter. My throat is parched and my voice sounds all horrible and cracked. Tenderly, the nurse lifted me up and held up the glass to my mouth as I drank it greedily. So much better.
"How long have I been out for?"I asked her quietly, my voice still sounded cracked and dry. "About 5 or 6 hours."the kind lady replied with a sad smile on her. "Go back to sleep dear. You need to rest."she said. Then, she left my side, sliding the door closed. I don't want to sleep. I need to know what happened. Why it happened. I need answers. Is Mr. Gae okay? Are my friends okay? Did the car hit anybody? What happened? Doctors suddenly rushed into my room, the nurse with them. What's that annoying beeping noise? Then I realised, that's my heartbeat and it's ridiculously fast. I mean ridiculous fast. Surgeons did all sorts of things and that was all I could remember before I blacked out once again yet my mind was still working. Working like clockwork although, more like thinking about what I like and don't like.
~3rd person point of view~
"Ugh. My head hurts."murmured Mikado, groaning as she pushed herself up with one arm while the other arm moved her hand up to clutch her forehead. "Oh. You're awake again."exclaimed the nurse in surprise. "Let me get the doctor."she said and hurried off, her heels clicking softly on the tiled floor. A few minutes later, the doctor walked in with the nurse walking in behind with a happy smile on her face.
"Ahh, Ms.Shibuya. Glad that you are awake."the male doctor said, a triumphant smile on his face. "If you would, please answer some questions". It wasn't a question but a request. No, an order. Mikado nodded and pushed herself up. The nurse hurried to Mikado's side and propped her up against a pillow, giving her sympathetic glance as she groaned in pain.
"Ms. Shibuya, what do you remember?"the doctor asked yet it was a very vague question.
"How far back?"Mikado asked in return, her brow furrowed as she tried to ignore the aching pain. "Well, before the car crash, do you remember what you did that day?"inquired the doctor, an eyebrow raised. "Umm...I remember getting up, doing my daily morning routine, leaving, entering the car, Mr.Gae Min-Hyuk asking me where I want to go, us sitting in silence, the car suddenly swerving to the side and then heat and then darkness. After, I heard muffled voices before fully blaring out."rambled Mikado in her dry voice, her rolling to a cooler place on the pillow. "Right. Thank you Ms.Shibuya. Mr. Gae said the same thing."said the doctor, writing it down on the clipboard. He asked a few more questions and scribbled down her answers before getting up to leave.
"How's Mr.Gae?"blurted Mikado, suddenly leaning forward. She let out a hiss of pain and the nurse eased her back gently so she was resting once again on the pillow. "H-he u-uh passed away."stammered the doctor before speeding out of the ward, his white coat swishing behind him. Mikado stared at where he just stood seconds ago, stunned. Shocked. She was shocked beyond words. "H-he died?"she asked the nurse again in a broken dried voice. The nurse solemnly nodded her head in confirmation. "N-no. T-that can't be. I-it was h-his first day in the j-job. H-how c-can h-he have…"but she never finished for she suddenly burst into tears. The nurse gently hugged her and rubbed her back as she cried in the ward. Not even her friends were there, let alone her family, only a random woman. "Oh sweetie. It's not your fault. He-he suddenly swerved to the side and bashed into another car. There was a cat or something on the road and he didn't want to hit it."she explained in a soothing voice whilst whispering comforting words to the crying girl in front of her.
~Mikado's point of view~
It's my fault. I killed him. I-I knew this was a mistake. I knew something would go wrong. I bring nothing but bad luck. I-I...should've just walked to school like normal. I...Min-Jun is without a father now. Hayoon has no father now. I-I-I killed their father, her husband. I just destroyed, broke a family. I...I'm a horrible person.
Nobody has seen this vulnerable side of me before. Nobody, not even my family. And here I am, crying my eyes out in the arms of an unknown woman. Yet, I don't mind. She...she's got this warm feeling about her, like you can just tell her every secret you have. Like you can confide your deepest most disgusting secrets and she wouldn't tell a soul, take them with her to the grave. She just is such a kind and warm person, so loving. She's everything I have missed and...oh I am just such a mess. A complete and utter emotional mess.
~3rd person point of view~
"You killed him!"screamed Min Jun, kicking over the table. "You killed him for what? For your petty family dispute? Because of your stupid family, mine lost a father, a husband!"he shouted, throwing a vase at the wall. "Brother, stop. Please. Father wouldn't want to see you like this. You know he wouldn't."cried out Hayoon, his sister as she hugged him from behind, burying her face into his muscles back. "How dare you! You use those poorer than you for nothing;g than you sick family games!"he roared, breaking loose from Hayoon and smashing another thing on the wall. "Calm yourself. I take full responsibility. I'll even pay for the funeral but, you knew what you were getting yourself into. You knew that your lives would be out at risk and it just so happened, your father died today."hissed a cold camel voice from the darkness. "He decided to do it himself and why? So you could get the money, so you would live a better life. He chose to do this so don't go around blaming me. Blame yourself instead for ever getting involved in the first place. No, even better if you blame him because he knew exactly what he was doing".
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Author's note.
So...big thing. Mikado got into a car accident. The driver she only met yesterday died. She blames herself and….that's it. Or is it? Who knows.
Anyway, I guess the message in this chapter is to not blame yourself for somebody else's death. Say, you were in the middle of a shooting and there is a gun lying nearby. Name of the people, person A and person B.
Person A and B see the gun. Person A is too scared to do anything. Person B picks up the gun and starts to fight back and yells: "run person A". It was then their choice to sacrifice themselves so you could escape or so you could live. It was their choice they wanted to save somebody else instead of live themselves. Why, we will never know but one thing we do know is to not let their death be in vain. I don't mean get revenge or vengeance for person B that died but...don't go on with your life blaming yourself for person B's death. Person B wouldn't want that. If you want to redeem yourself, live a good life and don't forget person B. Don't try to or do commit suicide because that might make people believe you don't care about the sacrifice person B made. True, most will perceive it as the grief was too much but, that's what life is about.
Life is a lot harder than death. In life, you must go through multiple hardships. In life, you must overcome many obstacles like money, love and more. However, life is nice because we get to experience things, appreciate what others do. Death however is the easy way out of life. True, you must go through pain but what then? What happens after you have gone through that pain. Some people just die in their sleep, my great grandmother did. Life is harder than death but it shows that you are strong, you are brave, determined; resilient. It shows to others and to yourself that you can stand up to your fears and conquer them. So, don't commit suicide. Don't let social media influence you too much. Don't blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault. I know what it's like.
Sometimes when my parents argue, I always blame myself. 'It's my fault. They are going to divorce because of me. It's my fault.'however, it's not always my fault. Sometimes they argue because there is a lot of stress or something else. Then, I wish I could disappear, I could disappear from the world or disappear from their lives as quickly as possible. But then, I don't because I know that would cause them more pain than happiness. Don't blame yourself for something that wasn't your fault because it not only hurts you but to her around you, seeing you like that. Depressed, sad, angry, maybe self harming, suicidal thoughts.
Appreciate the sacrifice made. Appreciate life in general because life is the reason why you get to meet the people you meet. Your friends, your family, your pet dog maybe. Your boyfriend or girlfriend. Life is there so you can meet all the amazing people in your life. Appreciate it and don't throw life away. Life is a gift as well as torture. It is something everybody has to go through, even if it is a little bit. Appreciate the lives lost in the war for they are the reason why humans live in a society of democracy (in most countries that I know of). Appreciate singers, actors, idols, and not only them. Political figures too and even your teachers. They are the people that are bothering to teach you things so you have a fair chance in life. Be thankful for all the things you have.
Also, this chapter is the reason why the previous chapter was short.
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