" truth is i'm dishonest, cause i'm always scared to get too deep. "REWRITTEN
Billie's POV:
I opened my eyes and yawned heartily. I turned to the bedside table next to my bed and reached for my phone to check the time. 5.30am. I sighed and ran my hand over my face. I shouldn't have been partying all weekend, but I was trying to take my mind off the trouble with Stella, but the only thing it's giving me is a bad headache. I put my phone back on the bedside table and sat on the edge of the bed.It took me a while to get up because I still feel dizzy, like I'm throwing up all the shit from what I drank last night. I left my room to go to the bathroom but stopped in the middle of the path and realised I'd forgotten my clothes. I went back to my room, grabbed some simple grey oversize shorts and a black Rob Zombie shirt, grabbed my phone and made my way back to the bathroom.Alex:are u ready ? i'm at yours in 10Billie:aightI shoved the phone in my pocket, walked out of the bathroom over to my room to throw my dirty clothes on my bed, closed the door, and went downstairs to the kitchen. , saw a letter placed on the counter. " hey bil, I'm at Claudia's; Mom and Dad will be home in the afternoon; see you later. " I put the letter back down on the counter. I heard a honk outside. I put on my shoes, grabbed my keys and my bag, and went out of the house. I saw Alex waiting in her car in my driveway. , I walked over to the passenger side, opened the door. She literally looks like she was on a wellness trip, while I look like I didn't sleep for like 4 weeks.She pointed to my neck and laughed, saying, "You look like you just woke up from the dead." As I lowered myself into the passenger seat, she said, "Sorry about that, dude." I closed the door, muttering, "Good morning." With confusion, I turned to face her. She asked, "You don't remember?" with an eyebrow raised at me.I gave a headshake. "Yeah, you had a few drinks yesterday, made some flirtatious comments, and we kissed" she shrugged. I gave her a wide-eyed glance and opened my mouth to speak. "Hey, chill. Let me tell you something: I'm not in love. " After laughing, she backed out of the driveway. "We are still friends, nothing has changed." I dismissed it with a laugh."Good, because I'm not gay."
"Yeah," she said with a smirk on her face, then looked back at the road. I hit her shoulder, "Seriously, dude" i said in frustration. I shook my head and looked out the window." What the heck did I do last night?As i began to remember what happened the night before, i couldn't stop myself from questioning how things had gotten so out of hand and turned into such a strange series of events.Estella's POV:I have already been waiting in front of the school for my friends. I had trouble sleeping last night because all I could do was dwell on Billie. I feel guilty for my actions towards her, but I know it was necessary. I can't allow her to get near me, it's not easy for me, it truly isn't. I truly desire to be with her, but it is not a healthy situation for either of us. I don't want to see her today, especially not when she smiles and her left dimple shows, or when she puts on her angry face.Even though I'm not exactly sure how I'll manage to avoid thinking about her, I have to do my best not to. I jumped when I felt a hand suddenly touch my shoulder while I was staring at my phone. "Hey, you're already here" said Den with a small smile as I looked up. I smile and gently pull her into an embrace, saying, "Sorry, I didn't hear you approach coming" "Are you feeling better?" she inquired as she opened the front door.I ask, pretending to not understand, "What do you mean?" I passed by her in the school and headed to my locker."I spoke with Billie, and she informed me about what happened last time. I tried to call you over the weekend but you didn't pick up" she said while walking beside me, and giving me an anxious look. I opened my locker and quickly pulled out my backpack, then slung it onto my shoulders. I took out my books "Don't worry, I'm fine. It wasn't a big deal, it's just ....
"Hey there, bitches," Alex shouted from behind us, interrupting me. "Why are you yelling?" I heard Billie's voice as I turned around to see her standing in front of me with a big grin on her face. "I have to leave," I said, closing my locker door and walking away, feeling the stares of others on my back.As I quickened my pace down the hallway, I could sense the weight of their curious eyes following me like a shadow, making me feel even more eager to leave.I entered the classroom and took out my books. I plugged my headphones into my phone and browsed through my music when I suddenly felt a tap on my shoulder. I let out a sigh and glanced up to see Billie standing there. Is it not possible for me to have a moment alone? "What?" I shot her a harsh look. "May I join you here?" she asked with a smile, looking down at me."No, absolutely not, the fuck" .
"Please ?" She gazed at me with pleading eyes. I found it hard to refuse her with the way she was looking at me. "Fine, whatever," I muttered, irritated. She eagerly sat down next to me, wearing a cheesy grin. "Now that all of you are present, please turn to page 21 in your books. Kindly answer the questions. If you need assistance, just give me a call and I'll be there" says our math teacher, offering to help.I took my book and opened it. "Um, can I have a look?" I rolled my eyes, pushed the book towards me, " no, get your own" i replied.
"Come on, man, it's just a book. I forgot mine," she complained as she reached over to try to place the book in between us. " i said no! " i snapped at her, slapping her hand away
Raising her hands, she glanced back at Alex, seated behind us. "Alex, could you please share? It seems like the girl over there is on her period or some shit " i turned around to face her "Could you please shut up? your voice iss quite irritating," I said angrily before turning back to my book.While I was working on my answers, a piece of paper suddenly hit me in the head.I unfolded it and it said, "What's going on with you and Billie? I heard she was with Alex yesterday." I rolled my eyes, looked at where it came from, and saw Den giving me a curious look. I made a loud noise, crumpled the note, and threw it back at her without saying anything in response. She moved her head from side to side and then returned her gaze to her book."Why are you staring at me?" I asked Billie, feeling her powerful gaze on me as I turned to look back. She turned to look back, trying to look innocent as though she hadn't done anything wrong. I quickly got up from my seat and sighed when the bell rang. Her being close to me is becoming intolerable to me. I hastily exited the room after putting my books back in my bag."Stella!" is a well-known voice yelling my name. Billie was running toward me when I turned to look at her. I felt her take hold of my arm as I turned to walk away. "What the fuck is your problem?" she asked me angrily. Her stunning ocean-colored eyes captured my attention as I turned to face her again. With those eyes, I could easily become lost. "Answer me!" she exclaimed, bringing me back to reality by gesturing in front of my face."You're the fucking problem, stay away from me" I said, shaking my head and pushing her away. I managed to escape her hold and sprinted out of the school. I made the decision to head back to my friends after a short while. When I opened the door and went into the cafeteria, I saw Billie and my friends seated there, laughing hysterically.I sighed and moved to the table beside Den. She gently put her hand on my shoulder and asked, "Do you feel okay?"
"Yeah, I'm doing fine," I smiled in response as I glanced at my phone. Matthew took a bite out of his sandwich and said, "Hey, Bil, how was your weekend? Why didn't you invite us to the party?"
" i don't think.. "
"cause she was with her bitch " I interrupted her.feeling everyone's attention on me. "next time, don't make it this obvious," I said, pointing at Billie's neck, laughing in disgust. "I'm asking you once more, what is your fucking problem? I mean, first of all, nobody is my bitch, and secondly, it's none of your concern. I could fuck her right here on the table in front of you, even though I wouldn't because I'm straight" she retorted angrily. Den nudged Adrian after he made a loud noise and looked at him.I pulled a face " go ahead, I don't mind. Furthermore, you wouldn't have spent last night with her if you weren't gay" i giggled. She slammed her hand down so loudly that everyone at the table gasped. "shut the fuck up !" she exclaimed. She then got up and leaned in my direction so that our faces were inches apart as we met eyes. The strength of her stare clearly indicated that she was serious, her words carrying a strict warning that gave me a shiver down my spine." I didn't fuck her . why do you still insist on this? Are you jealous? " She asked with a blank look on her face, maintaining eye contact, "I could have sworn you wanted me to fuck you, but sorry, I don't mess around with psychic people, go , just go back to your best friend , fuck around with her while she's in a relationship this is what bitches do. " she spat at me with a smug smile.Tears filled my eyes and everyone looked at her in shock. " You know what? Fuck you ! " I said to her as I hastily picked up my bag tossed it over my shoulder. I tried not to cry as I left the cafeteria. She is just like everyone else; she tries to get close to me and then hurts me, and I knew it.But I couldn't stop thinking that there might be something more behind her actions.Billie's POV:"you wish," I said quietly as I watched Stella leave the table and walk out of the cafeteria. I feel like everyone is looking at me " what? "i was puzzled by them."don't you think it was a bit too harsh?" Carson asked, followed by everyone sending me a questionable look.I could feel the weight of their silent judgment pressing down on me, making me reassess the bluntness of my words as I searched for a way to soften the tension in the room." i don't know , actually no. she is acting like as if it's her business , acting as if I owe her an explanation. I got fed up with her" I stated angrily.
"I see your point of view, but Carson is right," Den said, glancing at me. "Maybe you should consider apologizing."
I sighed, stood up from my chair, and muttered, "It's whatever I'll try to speak to her." I waved at them and left the cafeteria.I walked over to Stella, who was lying on the bench with her eyes shut. "Can I?" I inquired.
Lifting her head and opening one eye, she shook her head and replied, "No."
I let out a sigh and moved her legs from the bench before sitting down. "We have to talk, please."
"You're just like everyone else; I don't want to listen to you," she said to me in a somber tone. "please leave." A tear trickled down her cheek as she spoke. . I got a piece of paper out of my bag, wrote my number on it, and set it down on the bench beside her."I know I shouldn't have said all those things, but all I ever wanted was to be your friend. I know how much pain you are going through.I'm not the same as the others. Give me a call if you decide to talk if you've changed your mind. "After reading the note, she folded it and threw it away. I sighed, stood up, and went back to the school. I understand why she isn't talking to me; I admit that I was too harsh on her. I should give her time to think about it.
Estella's POV:I'm at a loss. I would like to be friends with her, but I am scared of developing feelings for someone who does not feel the same way about me. I'm not developing feelings for her yet, I hardly know her, but it feels like the same situation repeating itself. I always end up liking girls who are straight. She explicitly stated that she is heterosexual.I'm unsure about the situation between her and Alex, but it's possible that it was just a one-time event. I shouldn't worry about that because, as she mentioned, it's not my concern. I took the paper that had her number on it and put it in my pocket. Perhaps I will reconsider and decide to give her a call. I made the decision to not go to school, so I got up, took my bag, sent a message to Den that I was leaving, and headed home.
Estella:i gotta go home, wanna come around when you're out ?Den:sure, i'll be there soontime skip ....Laying around, I've been thinking about what happened with Billie, and I really should talk to Den about it. My brother called out to me from downstairs as I was getting ready to get out of my room, "Stella, there's someone here to see you.". Den was waiting in the hallway when I hurried downstairs. I sprinted over to embrace her. I whisper 'hey' against her shoulder. She moved back from me and softly asked, "wanna talk about it ?" I nodded, took her hand, and led her upstairs to my room. I shut the door as I entered the room and then flopped onto my bed. Den took a seat beside me, crossed her legs, and asked, "What's up?"I sighed and nervously played with my fingers. "Bro, I need your help. I'm not sure what to do about what happened at school." She nodded in understanding. "Well, she came up to me and tried to talk to me, but I told her no. "I took out the letter from my hoodie pocket. "She suggested that I call her if I needed to talk, and she gave me her number." With wide eyes, she grabbed the note out of my hand and directed it towards me. "That's fantastic, dude! you wana ca... ?"" no! i mean yes, fuck i don't know" i cut her off, looking down at my fingers.Reaching closer, she took hold of my hand and made me look into her eyes. She persisted, saying, "Stella, you need to call her.". You turned her down, but she's always kind to you.You and I both consider her a friend. "
" you don't understand" I shook my head, got up, and paced tensely around my room.
She got up and held my phone in front of me to stop me. "just call her," she said with a slight smile. I let out a sigh, took the phone from her hand, unlocked it, and entered Billie's number. I hesitated before pressing the call button, unsure why I was feeling so nervous. It might be risky, but I agreed with Den that I needed to talk to her and make things right. I pushed the button to call while holding the phone to my ear. The phone only rang briefly before going to voicemail. I attempted it again but just like the first attempt ... Mailbox. After ending the call, I tossed my phone onto my bed, sat next to it, and sighed in disappointment. "I knew she wouldn't answer," I muttered, putting my head in my hands. "Maybe she's busy right now; you could try again later. Why don't you text her?"Estella:hey Bil its Stella , you're right we need to talk. Call me when you're free ?"Would you like to spend the night?" I ask Den as I lock my phone and recline in bed. Today, company is what I need to keep myself from doing bad things. I really don't want to be alone."of course. let's have a movie night, i'll go buy some snacks" she said, patting my thigh before getting up.I took hold of my phone and started browsing Instagram's newsfeed. Den hadn't returned after some time, so I clicked on Billie's contact to see if she had received my message.
Estella:hey bil its stella, you're right we need to talk. call me when you're free ?read: 4:50pmI decided to give it a shot and hit the call button, but the same thing happened as it had the previous times: all I could hear was her mailbox. She can see my message, but she hasn't responded and hasn't picked up her phone. When I see her at school tomorrow, it looks like everything will be the same.I prepared myself for the uncomfortable feeling when we see each other in the hallway, knowing there are things we haven't said.