REWRITTEN
Estella's POV:
It's been 4 days since I wrote to Billie to meet her, neither has she replied to my messages nor has she come to school. I know, I know, I've been pretty hard on her, but that's still no reason to ignore someone and pretend she never existed. I even asked Den if she knows anything about Billie, where she is or if she's okay, but she said she doesn't know what's going on with her, Billie texts Den but hasn't said a word about me, she said I should give her more time. Sure she doesn't want to talk to me, I'll give her the time she needs, but disappearing completely doesn't make it better. I mean, she was the one who gave me her number and told me to text her, she was the one who wanted to help me and be my friend, and now she's just decided to ignore me all week. This is just childish. Today was the last day of school and I was on my way to pick up Den so we could leave together. We're involved in a project for Religious Education where we're looking at existential questions such as "What is the meaning of life? Why do I need this? I already realise that life is a total waste of time; you learn things that either cause pain or pleasure..yet ultimately, you're left with a broken heart regardless.Denise's POV:As I heard the honk outside, I slipped on my Vans, picked up my bag and my phone. I stepped out of the house, shut the door, and quickly approached Stella's car, where she lowered the passenger side window."Get in," she said with a smile, as she opened the door for me.
I got into the passenger seat, shut the door, and fastened my seat belt. I leaned towards her and gave her a side embrace. "Are you all set for the fantastic project day?"
I pulled back, took out the aux cord, plugged it into my phone, and hit shuffle."Ugh, man, that's so annoying. I really don't want to go," she complained as she started the car and drove out of my driveway.I chuckled a bit and shook my head, saying, "You're such a baby. Remember, you can still improve your grades."
She shifted her gaze from the road to me, exhaling sharply as she said, "I don't care about my grades, and you know that," before looking back at the road.
"By the way, how is Billie? Has she responded to you yet?"Shaking her head, she focused on the road and said, "No, I really did try. I messaged and called her, but there was no response."
"Well, perhaps you'll see her today, and you can talk to her," I said as I paused the music and unplugged the auxiliary cable from my phone. We have already driven into the school's parking lot.
"Yeah," she muttered, then switched off her car. She leaned towards the backseat to get her bag and then turned to me, saying, "Let's hope this day passes quickly; I can't stand this place."
"Stella, you're so dramatic at times," I said, rolling my eyes as I opened the door, stepped out of the seat, and shut the car door behind me.
"Why are you blaming me? This class is incredibly boring," she said as she hurried to catch up with me. I entered the school by opening the door, then proceeded down the hallway to reach our lockers.
I paused in my tracks and glanced down at her, saying, 'I don't blame you.'""This place," I mocked her, "is actually beneficial for your future."
Estella's POV:She gave my shoulder a pat and then headed to her locker. "You're such a nerd sometimes, you know?" I shook my head, walked to my locker, placed my bag inside, and took out my books.Startled, I turned around to see Mad standing behind me, clutching his chest from laughing and saying, 'Hey, bozo.'"
"Dude, what's up with you guys almost giving me heart attacks?" He shrugged his shoulders. "Maybe it's fun?" he said with a grin, looking down at me.
"Come here and give me a hug," he said, opening his arms to me. I stepped forward and leaned into his embrace, mumbling into his chest, "One day, this will be the death of me."I released him and headed towards the classroom. "I didn't expect you to be so hard to kill," I glanced up at him, eyebrows raised, and asked, "What are you trying to say?""Don't worry about it, Stelli," he said as he walked past me. Then he paused and turned back, "Oh, I almost forgot, there's a show today. Billie has ti...""Are you in contact with Billie?" I interrupted, staring at him in disbelief.
"Yea? She bought tickets for all of us, are you in?" I asked, crossing my arms. "Why would she buy tickets for everyone?"
He arched an eyebrow, saying, "it is literally h..." but was cut off by the bell. He approached me, gave me a quick hug, and said, "We'll discuss it later. See you soon," then released me and dashed to his classroom. With a sigh, I pushed open the classroom door."You're late, Stella," Mrs. Coleman said, glancing up from her desk over her glasses. "Do I look like I care?" I retorted sharply and headed to my seat beside Den."Proceed with that attitude, and you'll end up in the principal's office," she shouted at me.
"Whatever," I muttered as I took my seat.
Den glanced up from her book and asked, "You okay?" I met her gaze and replied, "Yeah, I'm good," offering a slight smile before returning to my book.
II didn't do anything at all the entire time, and now it's the final minutes of the first period. I can't stop thinking about Billie. Is she really serious? She can respond to my best friend but not to me? Why can't she just text me that she's busy or something, so I don't go crazy over this? This is genuinely nonsense, but if she wants to play a game, fine. Alright, let's just play this ridiculous game."Are you okay? You haven't written anything at all. You seem off" she said, placing her hand on my shoulder."'I said I'm fine Den,' I shot back, brushing her hand off my shoulder. I got up from my chair, grabbed my book, and walked over to the door. "Where do you think you're going? This class isn't finished yet."I gave Mrs. Coleman a blank look and said, 'And I still don't care,'". "I told Mrs. Coleman, 'and I still don't care,' while giving her a blank look." I took my phone out of my pocket, put on my headphones, and turned on Spotify to shuffle.I strolled down the hallway to the back exit, made my way to the benches, tossed my bag beside me, and sank onto the bench. I sighed and gazed out into the distance, feeling guilty for snapping at Den. She knows I don't like discussing the things on my mind, but I really need to apologize to her. After all, it's not her fault that Billie is being difficult.I glanced at my phone when it lit up beside me with a message.Den:it's lunch now, you coming ?Stella:go ahead , i'm coming.I stood up from the bench, slung my bag over my shoulder, and headed back into the school towards the cafeteria. Seeing Den seated with everyone else at our table, I headed over."May I sit here?" I glanced down at Den, who was nibbling on her sandwich. I dragged the chair over and took a seat beside her.
"There she is," she remarked with a gentle smile, her mouth still full. "Bro, swallow your food before you talk," I looked at her with a mix of disgust and amusement and then laughed. "I'm sorry, Den, I didn't mean to snap."
"Hey, I understand, it's all right," she said while offering her sandwich to me. "Would you like a bite?"I shook my head and said, "Nah, not hungry." She shrugged and popped it into her mouth. We both jumped when Adrian hit the table with his hand.
"Hey, I'm really excited for the show today. Are you all coming?" he asked cheerfully.
Den turned to him and slapped his chest, exclaiming, "I nearly choked on my food, you idiot." He glanced at her, gently grabbed her chin, and planted a kiss on her cheek, saying, "Sorry, babe."
""eww cut that" I glanced over at him, grossed out "But what show are you guys talking about?" Matthew looked at me, raising his eyebrow, "I told you before, it's B...""Den interrupted him by saying, 'Anyway, we're all coming,' and I glanced at her, puzzled." Why is she cutting everyone off today ?"I still have no idea what show it is," I groaned loudly, crossing my arms over my chest. Alex took out her phone and said, "Haven't you seen Billie's post?" Just as she was about to give me her phone, Adrian knocked it out of her hand.
"Bro, what the heck!" Alex shouted at Adrian, bent down, and picked up her phone from the floor. "Sorry, I thought there was a spider," he shrugged and glanced at Den.I narrowed my eyes at them and asked, "What's going on with you two?" Den simply grinned back. I shook my head, stood up from my chair, and picked up my bag.
"I'll pick you up at 6," she says with a slight smile.
"Yeah, yeah, whatever," I mumble. "See you all later," I say, waving to my friends before heading to the classroom. At times, I find these fools unbearable. It's clear they're hiding something from me.
time skip...
I arrived home from school half an hour ago and am now watching my food slowly heat up in the microwave. I took the plate and headed to the couch in the living room. I picked up the TV remote, navigated to Netflix, and selected a random show. I continued eating while Alex's words echoed in my mind. What does she mean by Billie's post? I put down my fork on the plate, picked up my phone, unlocked it, and went directly to Billie's profile on Instagram.wherearetheavocados: i'm so excited for today 🥺Whatever she's excited about, she seems to be in a good state, but she doesn't care when it comes to school or responding to my messages. I accessed her contact and sent her a message, hoping that perhaps I'm now worthy of a response from her.Stella:Billie, could you stop playing and respond to me?I set my phone on the table and kept watching the show on Netflix. However, when my phone lit up, I glanced over and smiled slightly when I saw that Billie had finally texted me back. I shook my head, realizing I was looking at my phone and grinning foolishly. What on earth is happening to me? It's simply a message, yet I'm here feeling as if God has texted me, wow. I finally pulled myself together and opened her message.
Billie:hey mamasso so sorry 🥺i was sick all weeku free now ?Stella:yea sick.nah i need to get readyi'm at a show w Den and the other idiotsbut you already knowi'm free afterI glanced at my phone and, once more, grinned foolishly as I saw three bubbles appear beneath my message.Billie:mhh okayi can't .. busy then 😐read: 5:30pmFirst, she was giving me nicknames and everything, and now she's upset because I'm not available? Courageous.I chose to leave her message unread. If she truly wanted to communicate, she wouldn't be "busy," but that's alright—I no longer have any expectations from her. I glanced at the clock and leaped up upon realizing it's 5:40; I have just 20 minutes to prepare. I switched off the TV, picked up my plate, hurried to the kitchen, and placed the plate in the sink. I went up the stairs to my room and then headed to my closet. I quickly picked up a pair of ripped jeans and a white shirt, then rushed to the bathroom. I quickly undressed and stepped into the shower.
After a quick shower, I wrapped a towel around myself, dried my hair, and put it up in a messy bun. I'm too lazy to make myself look good for a show that I still don't know anything about. I let the towel fall and quickly put on my clothes. I picked up my old clothes, returned to my room, and tossed them onto my bed. I rushed downstairs to the living room, picked up a piece of paper and a pen, and wrote a letter for my parents. I placed the letter on the kitchen table and headed into the hallway, putting on my shoes just as Den texted me to say she was waiting outside. I picked up my keys, walked out, and shut the door behind me.I made my way to Den's car and settled into the backseat beside Alex and Mat. Adrian, sitting in the front passenger seat, turned around to me with a grin and asked, "Are you excited?""I really don't know which show you're talking about, so why should I be excited?" I said, glaring at him. Raising his hands and turning in his seat, he whispered to Den, "I think she's on her period," prompting a snort from her.
I leaned over, slapped his arm, and snapped, "I heard that!" I leaned back, rested my head on Mat's shoulder as he ran his hand through my hair and asked, "Are you okay?"I glanced upward, nodded, and shut my eyes. I'm incredibly tired and not in the mood for a party or anything like that, but I don't want to disappoint my friends, so I take the opportunity to sleep until we arrive.I opened my eyes slowly as Mat whispered in my ear, "Stelli, wake up, we're here." I rubbed my eyes and let out a big yawn.
"Hey, wake up! It's time to get in a better mood," Den shouted as she turned to me and tossed me a bottle.
"What's this?" I ask groggily, raising the bottle towards her.She shrugged and laughed, saying, "Just find out." I sighed, opened the bottle, took a sip, and instantly regretted it.
"This is disgusting, Den," I said as I closed the bottle and tossed it back to her. She burst into laughter, clapped her hands, and said, "Alright, are you all ready?"
I groaned and leaped from the car. I feel like I'm the only one not in the mood for this at the moment, but who knows, it might be enjoyable later. Alex approached me and put her arm around my shoulders.
"It's like a surprise for you today," she remarked with a slight smile."What do you mean?"
She cleared her throat and began, "As you apparently aren't aware, today B... "
"Guys, hurry up!" Den shouted, cutting off Alex. As we approached the entrance, a man gestured for us to come over.
"He shouted at us, 'You five, you can come in here!'" We walked to what appeared to be the VIP entrance. I followed my friends until a thought occurred to me. Where's Billie? Didn't Matt mention that she gave them the tickets? Does that mean she's here too or not?
I hurry over to Mat, give his hoodie a pull, and he turns to me asking, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, but where is Billie?"
De asked, nudging Den's shoulder. "Den, where is Billie?""Uh, is she coming later?" she awkwardly asked. "Can we go check out the merchandise? I want to buy something," she added, clearly attempting to change the subject.Together, we made our way down the hallway to reach the hall where the merchandise shop is located. I approached a neon green hoodie featuring an odd character on the front and Billie Eilish printed on the back. Eilish? I'm not sure where or why, but haven't I heard that name before?"Guys, isn't it odd? This Billie guy has the same name as Billie," I said with a laugh, showing them the hoodie."Ha ha, yeah, yeah, weird," they all said together. Why are they all acting as if they know something but can't share it with me?
I shook my head, put the hoodie back, and went over to Den. "Did you find what you want?" I asked. She turned to me, grinning widely, with two hoodies, a shirt, and a bandana in her hands. "Yeah, I'll pay quickly, and then we can go inside." She walked past me towards the cashier.
"Is that everything?" the cashier inquired."Stella, do you want anything?" I shook my head and replied, "No, I'm okay."
"It's 200 Dollars then"
Choking on my own spit as I heard his words. "Hey man, are you seriously thinking about buying this expensive stuff?" I asked Den in disbelief.She shot me a sharp look before returning to the cashier, saying, "With card, please." I sighed, spun on my heel, and walked back to join the others.
"This girl really spent $200 on merchandise? What the heck," I said to Mat. And with a laugh, he said, "Well, it's worth it.". "You guys are crazy," I muttered, arching an eyebrow. "".We moved to the front as soon as Den decided to join us. We're lucky that we were able to get a front row seat because we arrived before all the other fans. After thirty minutes, there were a ton of fan girls in the hall, yelling right into my ear. I imagined my evening to be like this, crammed between shouting, sweaty teenagers.
I looked at Den; she was bouncing around like a toddler on Christmas, and she was slapping my shoulder and saying, "Oh my God, I can't wait, I'm so happy!". I gave her a shaky head and grinned, relieved that she was at least content.
The lights went out and then turned red as the screaming got louder A handsome guy walked out, and the crowd's screams grew louder and louder. Everyone was shouting this guy Billie's name, while I stood on the other side wondering where the hell Billie was. I can't believe she hands out tickets for a random show and then doesn't show up herself. My train of thought was disrupted when a girl with small stature and grey hair dashed onto the stage, energetically jumping to the rhythm. At first, I didn't realize who it was because I was distracted by all the elbows hitting me and the screaming in my ears.The girl started singing, leaped around the stage, and then moved to the front. Suddenly, I realize. Is that Billie? Is she being serious? Is this a dream or some kind of joke? She's always kind to me and wants to be my friend and help me, yet she keeps this huge secret from me? Clearly, I wasn't aware of her identity, yet she remained silent. All my friends knew, except for me.Do they really see me as a joke? Now it all makes sense—the way they cut themselves pff mid sentece and behaved oddly, either lying to me or not telling me it was her show. Wow, screw you all. I glanced up at the stage and met Billie's eyes. They shifted to a sad expression, but I couldn't care less about her opinion at this moment. I spun around and pushed my way through the shouting crowd. I turned around when I felt someone grab my wrist.
"Stella, I'm sorry—I wanted to tell you, but Billie didn't want me to," Den yelled over the music. I pulled my hand away from her grasp and dashed out of the stadium.
Billie's POV:While I was stretched out on the couch in the green room, browsing through my Instagram news feed, someone knocked on the door."Come in," I shouted as I locked my phone and sat up on the couch. Fin peeked into the room as he opened the door, entered quietly, closed the door softly behind him, then walked over and sat down beside me on the couch.
"Have you been messaging her?"
I sighed and raked my fingers through my hair. "Yeah. I apologized and mentioned I was ill this week."
I picked up my phone, stood up from the couch, and walked over to the mini-fridge. I took out two bottles of water, turned to Fin, and tossed one onto his lap. "They are here today, and I think she is too, but she doesn't know who I am, Fin," I said sadly, looking down at my feet.
"Why not tell her? She won't hate you just because you're famous."
"I attempted to explain, 'You don't understand. Being around her made me feel normal. She was the only person who treated me like everyone else. Even though she was difficult, I still appreciated it.'"
He stood up, approached me, and placed his hand on my shoulder. "Bil, she won't treat you any differently when you tell her who you truly are, but it's important to be honest with her. You've already lied to her; saying you were sick? Really, Bil?"
I glanced up at him, raising my eyebrow, and said, "Really? I already feel guilty for lying to her." I pushed him aside, picked up my phone from the couch, and was about to leave the green room.
He took hold of my hand, turned me towards him, and said, "You understand what I mean, Bil. Be truthful and have a conversation with her, alright?" I leaned my head back and let out a groan."All right," I said, giving him a hug. He tousled my hair and released me, saying, "Let's go, we're on in 10."
"Stop it," I complained, slapping his hand away. I opened the door, and we walked down the hallway to the stage. Mom hurried over to us, exclaiming, "Where have you two been? You need to get ready!"
We approached the crew members, who handed me my microphone and earpiece. I inserted the earpiece into my ear, watched Fin run off the stage, gave my mom one last hug, and then walked onto the stage myself. As soon as I heard the screams and the beat began, I leaped across the stage and started singing the opening verse of Bellyache. I moved down the stage to the front row, scanning the audience until my gaze locked onto a particular individual. Fuck.
I knew it! What was I thinking when I gave the tickets to Mat without realizing Stella was with them? I'm such a complete fool. I kept my eyes on her as she gazed directly at me. Suddenly, her expression shifted to sadness. She averted her gaze, turned around, and was about to walk away when Den stopped her and spoke to her but that doesn't changed the look on her face , she ripped her hand out of her grip and vanished into the crowd.The rest of the show was a blur; I sang song after song, yet it felt like I wasn't present. All I could imagine was her disappointed eyes. Why couldn't I just be honest and tell her I was busy with shows all week because I'm a singer? Instead, my foolish self decided it was better to say I was sick and busy today. As the last song ended, I thanked the crowd with an air hug, ran off stage, removed my earpiece, and handed it along with my microphone to the crew. Ignoring my mom and Finneas calling my name, I ran to my green room, slammed the door, and let out an angry scream. I sat on the couch, took out my phone, and called Stella, but she didn't answer after a few rings. Before gathering my belongings, I quickly texted her because I need to find and speak with her.Billie :b where are you ?pls pick uplet me explainpleaseI locked my phone, pocketed it, grabbed my keys, and headed to the exit, turning around when someone called my name."Bil, where are you going?" Fin ran toward me.
"Sorry, I need to find her fin."
"Who and what should I tell your friends?" he asked anxiously.
"Stella, just tell them I had to leave,""Alright, go get your girl," he said with a smirk. I pulled back, smacked his shoulder, and said, "Shut up, she's not my girl," then turned and left.
I rushed to my car and started it. I decided to drive home to see if she's there, and if not, I'll search for her all night because I don't want anything to happen to her.
Hope I find her.