More like a wanderer and less than ambitious, walking down the streets with red and puffy eyes, pale face and loose hair, my steps were heavy and slow. Eyes deprived of ounce of sleep, goal, passion and peace. A continuous river flow has no flow so do I. Lips were dry as they spoke thousands of words yet they were sealed. All she wanted was that somebody shake and ask her what she bear. As the one who smiles less has the most beautiful smile. I yelled, screamed and shouted that I was at no fault but nobody heard my pleas. I am freed from any question of guilt. But here on empty alley nobody would hear me. I fell into ground holding my head and crying out loud.
My whole career was destroyed within days. I was found doing ramp walking with drugs in my veins. My eye balls were dilated and I was thrown out of the industry because of this shameful act. But I don't know how did this happen? I never touched a cigarette, drink how would I take drugs? I know someone is behind this. But it is of no benefit as I have been kicked out of industry. Moreover, my all property and home went into trustees and I was left with no pence. This news broke like a nuclear bomb on my mother's life. I was her daughter until I was giving her money and benefitted her but when I needed her support, she did not even give me place to live in her home. Her Husband left no stone unturned to molest me but I ran before he could humiliate me more. Now I don't know where I am. What would I do to give me internal peace? The day of accident haunts me every single day. The scene of blood oozing out of young girl freaks me out. It gives me pain. My heart and brain are on fire. I cry a lot but no balm soothes my pain. I wish I would pretend that it never happened. I helplessly cried holding my knees to my chest wishing nothing but death.
"Why would anybody hear you now? Did you hear pleas of Eliza when she was dying? Did you try any effort to rescue her?" I heard a voice filled with loathe and detest.
My eyes were downcast, but I knew who the voice belongs to. I followed him and raised my eyelashes and finally met his eyes which make him look like ruthless monster ready to kill me. After a moment of silence reality hit me. It was him. He was behind all this. The flashback of threats that he gave me 6 months ago in courtroom came to me.
"You..Yo-u are behind all this..?" I stuttered, I still asked him despite knowing that he is behind this. I stood on my feet and saw him smirking and his eyes filled with gleam of terror and evil. I saw evil glint in his eyes which sent chills to my bones causing me to take few steps back. "You are the one who destroyed my career? You gave me..D-drugs?" I again stuttered unluckily showing him how terrified I was by his scrutiny eyes.
"What did you think that you would get away from me? You easily destroyed proofs and saved yourself. I told you I will be following your way till I devastate you" his lips twitched with evil smile. "Now I am successful seeing you in this condition. You don't know how much satisfaction I am feeling seeing you in this annihilate condition. I hope Eliza is seeing this and her soul gets peace" he replied feeling livid as his hard-fist met with nearby tree causing a large thud. I gave a scream out of fear and took more steps back. But I had to get away with him and tell him what truth is.
"What do you think James that I intentionally killed your beloved? No. I did not. You think of me a brat who ruin others lives for her personal contentment and serenity? What you know about me to think this?" I asked him with firm voice and thanks to God that he cannot hear the thumping of my heart else he would have known how terrified I am because of his presence.
"Oh." He arched a brow "so now you are going to manipulate me with your lies" he uttered with complete disgust "I am sorry not interested in talking to a killer" This is where I lost my patience.
"Shut up! No! Dare you call me a killer? I am not a killer. I am not a murderer. Now you will listen to me" I shouted to his utter surprise. "My life ditched me. I never had a certain life. I cried my whole life. My mother is a greedy woman who forced me into this life. She married to a ridiculous person. I was given the responsibility to pay their expenses too." My voice came hoarse ditching my confidence. My eyes filled with tears. My heart constricted as all the painful memories came back to me like an ice cold bucket of water. I saw him hearing me which I thought he would not.
"He always tried to molest me that is why I shifted into my own home. I earned my own living and became a successful model. I was forced to smile on and off the camera. My life was a mess. I wanted peace and love." I broke up the dam of tears but he did not faze by my story however I continued. "That night I was driving car with high speed. I was tired of pretending a happy person. I wanted to cry out loud and wanted someone to hear me, to caress and tell me that life will come altogether. I drove with speed and in a flash of second the young girl crossed my way and my car hi-hit..her.." I could not speak more. My mind was unable to comprehend. I saw his fist tighten and he started to move to and fro trying to control his accelerated emotions.
"It all happened because of you." He shouted. It looked like that my story did not melt his stone like heart. "You are reason she is no more. You left me no other way. I wanted her to have justice but because of your wealth you won the case. You made me this ruthless and heartless monster. You!" He yelled at me causing me to shiver under his towering height. He stated with his cold eyes mercilessly unfazed. I flinched by his tone.
"This is all you heard" I tried to reason him. "From the night of accident, I died every day. Nightmares haunted me. I could not have peace. My conscience always disturbed me of my guilt.."
"Lies. Again lies. Will you stop your drama?" He cut me short. "I am not going to believe what you are saying. Conscience! You are talking about conscience? Killers don't have conscience. They just know how to destroy other lives and seek happiness out of their pain" He said with complete disgust. His cold calculating gaze observing my every move and breathe. Anger flared up in him and his tone livid.
"You are an animal!" I spat as he lack humanity. Can't he see how guilty and powerless I am?
"Watch your tone!" His voice boomed in the open air causing her to flinch in her position. His face was filed by fury. His brown eyed darkened into black pits of emptiness as he glared at her. "I would hate to break that pretty little neck of yours if you dared to show me disrespect again." He claimed bitterly.
The fear and terror that I was holding in came rushing out and shrouded me like a cloak. His face turned into menacingly terrifying and his eyes glared at me challengingly as if asking me to defy him again. I swallowed and tried to remain composed. I did not want to aggravate him and have him hit her. Now I wish for one thing; death. Only death will give me peace. I am tired of interacting with human beings. They do not understand me. Maybe their creator whom we call "The most beneficial and most merciful" would hear me.
"Kill me." I blurted out. I gave a mere whisper but audible enough. "Kill me and have your revenge complete. I do not want to live." I said this not particularly looking anywhere. He gave a loud humourless laugh, deprived of any emotions.
"You think I want to kill you? Nahh! I don't want to kill you. I wish death never comes to you. I want to see your agony. These tears are nothing in front of those I shed for my love. You will cry daily and peace will never cross your way. I curse you Alice Miller. May you yearn for a happy life" he cursed me and started to walk away from me. I saw him getting into his car and went into dark. I sat here helplessly. I know that I did a huge mistake but I didn't deserve this. I stood up and wiped my tears. I never felt this helpless before in my life.
I slowly made my way towards my apartment; the only place I'm left with is my apartment which was left because my mother was unaware that my father left a apartment on my name. I reached my apartment and went to my room. I fell on my bed and started to think about what happened 6 months ago which destroyed everything: my life, peace and reputation.
So my dear readers, I'm done with my first chapter. I hope you've enjoyed reading this. There is so much that I want to entertain you with.
Stay tuned!
Aleeza❤️