I groan and snuggle further into the warmth of my bed the blankets wrapped perfectly around me but then I freeze as I hear my bed chuckle and i lie frozen for a moment then I lift my hand up and pat my hand about only to have it playfully bitten, I gasp and finally pry my eyes open only to see Alex chuckling and looking down at me with humourous eyes and then i realise how close we actually are with both of her arms pressed around my waist me pressed completely into my chest. I blush and pull myself away from her suddenly feeling cold as I lift my head from leaning on her chest and I quickly move and study her as the sunrises Ray's sending gold scattering across her peacefully laying body her dark hair turning shades lighter and her brown eyes turning into a hazel pool .
"See something you like ?" She chuckles as I blush a deeper red and hurry into the bathroom and locking the door behind me as i turn to look into the mirror and i study my blonde hair and dull green eyes that maybe once looked like a forest but now looks like a pool of a boring green liquid which lacks any and all life in them.
Ugly
Pathetic
Worthless
The same ords running through my own mind more often than i would like to say but its simply inescapable but when im with Alex I forget she gives me the ability to simply forgot an ability which i have been longing for.
Suddenly i'm broken out of my own thoughts by knocks on the door
"Everything okay in there?" Her voice comes from the other side and i go to talk but my voice fails so i clear my throat
"Yeah i'll be out in a minute" I say turning to the door and taking a breath before stepping out and giving her a gentle smile before looking at the floor and i feel her walk up to me and she stops just in front so that if i looked up there would be no space between us and i feel her fingers gently push my chin up until im looking directly into her eyes.
"You are my mate. You are my equal. You don't need to look at the ground okay"I simply nod lost for words at her kindness "I have to go do some things this morning but i promise i'll be back for lunch okay" I smile at her so she knows its okay before she wanders off into the bathroom so i leave her room making my way down the stairs trying my best to remember the way to the kitchen and eventually the marble room comes into view and i start digging through the pantry until i pull out the things i need to make her a breakfast sandwich so she can take it with her to wherever she is going and luckily just as she had walked down stairs i had placed it into a paper bag and i walk over to her handing it to her.
"You didn't have to make me breakfast"She says with a smile
I simply shrug a light blush spreading across my cheeks "I didn't want you to go without any" at this if it as possible her smile got wider and she gave me a hug which i froze up at but i choose not to say anything as she goes to walk to the door and just as she goes to shut it
"Its Emmeline by the way"
"What?" She turns back to me and i blush
"You asked my name before i never answered its Emmeline"
She smiles at me taking my breath away "Emmeline" She says as if testing it out and it makes a shiver run down my spine as she leaves and i watch for a moment as she follows the same path we took yesterday and i turn back to the house deciding to clean.
After awhile i had finished the entire house and i looked at the clock on the wall to see i had around an hour until Alex got here and that's when i heard the knocking at the door and i choose thats its probably going to be best if i open it.
Just breathe you will be fine my wolf (Vanya) say trying to calm my nerves
I open the door to see another woman standing there and she looks my up and down and a disgusted looks comes across her face
"So it's true"She says in a very nasally voice"Alexandra really did find her mate" I don't say anything but rather nod
"You will never be a good luna you know" I stare at her my mouth wide open in shock "That should not be your place you are a maid and nothing better you don't deserve this"
"I am her mate and there is nothing we can do to change that" I say quietly studying my own shoes
"you're pathetic" She hisses angrily and she turns and storms off.
Pathetic even they know it Worthless Not good enough to be a luna Alpha Zanes voice echoes through my head and doesnt stop until i'm desperate for to so i run into the bathroom
TW
I go through the cupboards searching for something sharp just about anything that will give me the pain i deserve eventually i come across them and i put it to my arm hesitating for just a moment before i made the cut and then another as the years of abuse went through my mind I didn't stop i started to get black spots covering my vision but it didn't worry me
"Emmy EMMELINE" The door falls to the ground inches away from my feet and i see my mate there with a horrified look on her face
"I'm sorry" I whisper as my knees give out and my legs hit the floor and i look up at her as my vision becomes blurred she kneels on the floor with me her own tears running down her face as she looks lost and i hold my other arm out to her face wiping away the tears
"Don't cry Alex its okay now" I say as i feel myself beginning to sway and this shocks her into action as she jumps up taking the razor from my hands and picks my up wrapping a towel around my arm as she begins to run through the house out into the open. She sprints past all of the pack members who gasp and very quickly move out of her way they all look so lost as they look from their emotional alpha to the strange bleeding girl. She flies through the pack hospital doors and i distantly hear her yelling for Dr. Morgans help but eventually the black begins covering my entire vision
"Stay with me Emmy" She whispers to me "please" The vulnerability makes my heart break and there is nothing much i can do as everything fades out.
Alexandra's pov
"Look there's not much we can do about it you know this Lorcan" I say to my Beta as he sits there annoyed
"But what's the point in training both women and men when most women don't fight" I roll my eyes at him
"Self defense incase rouges were to get past our defenses anything is possible and i want all of my pack to be able to defend themselves and some women do join the warriors the same ways as some of the men don't" I says and he sighs and turns to leave and that's when it happened and i let out a sharp gasp of pain as continuous pain erupted from my arm and i looked at it but nothing is there
"Alpha everything okay?" Lorcan asks concerned
"My arm it really hurts like someone is cutting it" My eyes widen "Emmeline Dammit i shouldn't have left her alone god i'm so stupid Lorcan watch the pack something's wrong with my mate" I say sprinting out of the building and i very quickly make my way home
"Emmeline?" I shout but get no response but the metallicy tinge to the usual scents put me on edge so i walk upstairs following until i reach the bathroom and its so strong
"Emmy Emmeline?" As i get no response except a whimper i use my strength and barrel into the door and i look horrified as i take in the scene of my mate with one bloodied arm and her other hand holding one of my razors which i keep in the cupboards and i look at her lost unable to move as her knees give out and her legs hit the floor and i go down with her just staring at the cuts on her arms and i didnt realise the tears rolling down my cheeks until she drops the razor and hold out her arm and wipes the tears rolling down my face
"Don't cry Alex it's okay now" This shoots me into action i snap out of it as i watch her sway slightly and I turn my head and grab the nearest towel before turning back to her and wrapping it around her arm and i stand taking her with me as i sprint out of the house with her and avoiding everyone's stares and shocked looks i keep running into the pack hospital and i hear myself shouting for Dr. Morgan and i snarl as he takes her from me but one of the nurses grabs my attention and leads me away and she bows her head and leaves and i slide down the wall and i pull my knees to my chest and i put my head down watching the floor oblivious to everything until a pair of familiar arms wrap around my shoulders and I relax giving up as I turn and cry into him , Atlas my brother.
"What happened?" He whispers
"She she she hurt herself what did he do to her to make her hate herself this much? What if it happens again i don't think i could take it"
"It wont i promise" He says and we simply sit there my head leaning against his shoulder for comfort.