I was so lost in my thoughts that I had forgotten my reasons for landing in the guest room. This had been my life for the past four days, phasing in and out of a reality I had no control over.
A reality I should have made peace with.
A reality that I should not have even chosen in the first place, but like they always say, man is to error, but my error cost me, and I was ready to pay the price.
The question here was how long I would keep doing this.
I wanted her.
I yearned for her.
I longed for her.
Every bit of me was dragging me to her, but even I was not that stupid to just rush in after screwing up.
I needed her though. I only wish she could look at me with eyes full of love like the first time.
I was okay with that. She had every reason to be angry at me, and maybe after today, she would send a small smile at me.
I was that desperate.
I had also lost track of time somewhere between my thoughts and the world I was trapped in along with emotions that I needed to let out. Emotions that needed to be expressed, but even heaven knows my words would not be enough to express my agony, my desperation, and longing for the woman of my life.
The woman who I'd blindly go to war for.
The woman I'd shamelessly die for.
I only snapped out of my trance when I heard someone clear their voice behind me. I froze because this was not what I expected. And someone finding me in this room was going to be like a slap in the face and all my efforts would be useless, especially if that person was my beautiful woman.
In simple terms, I was screwed for the hundredth time in just four days.
Oh, how I prayed it was not Lia because somehow, I was so sure she would smash my face out of extreme anger. I wouldn't complain but that was not what I wanted from her, I wanted her forgiveness and I was committed to earning it; even, if it took me years, which I hoped, wouldn't be the case.
Luckily for me, it was my best friend, Ryan. We had been best friends since diaper days and he also knew what my troubles were. But this time he was shocked to find me in Lia's room rummaging through her stuff.
I knew it was quite awkward considering the tension that had been growing in this house, but him being here and now was raising more questions than me being in Lia's room. I looked at him wearing the same confused face as his.
He was supposed to be in Mauritius finding a way to pay off the debts we both had. We had been so lost in life that we had debts to pay like we were paying for every gallon of air that we took in, but that would come later after I cleaned up the guestroom.
"hey bro, whatcha doin' here? Lia will have my head if she realizes I knew you went through her stuff." Ryan greeted.
For someone who had been away for some while, this mofo was updated about the recent events, but then there was no way he wouldn't considering him, and miss beautiful would always gang up on me at times.
"Naah, what she don't know won't hurt her man. I know I screwed up with that blonde chick but I didn't expect a whole essay about that night here."
I knew justifying myself wasn't going to do me any good, but a man's gotta try, even if it's the last thing he does. That was my mantra.
"seriously dude, that's what you worried about right now?" he snickered.
"I don't know what to do to pacify her man." I really didn't know what to do. I had tried everything that she liked. I even cooked, after hours of studying stupid recipes, but she still left me with my food. I had worked my ass off the past four days that if this would pay our debts, I think we would be free, very free. But hey, this is us and this is me.
"if I were you, I'd clean this room and get out before she comes home. If she finds you here, it will be a different story altogether."
"you right man, help me clear up." I pleaded with him, only to watch him on his heels to the kitchen. Sometimes I wonder where I got him. But he was right, Lia would not be pleased to find me in the guestroom, that too going through her stuff.
I bet she wouldn't forgive me for a month, but I wasn't going to wait here and learn the hard way. I had to hurry since it was almost four o'clock and she'd be here anytime now.
"not today bro, you in this alone, and besides I feel hungry. You still have that weird bacon?" this little shit.
"only you can leave a dying man to his fate for food."
"hahaha really funny, anyway I'll be in the kitchen when you done." unbelievable. I definitely needed new friends.
Forty-five minutes later, my brain was fried with the amount of work it had done. My body felt like I'd been exercising for months without a break. I was tired, now I understood why the maids could request for breaks and even the janitors. I was never denying them a raise in salaries if they ever requested.
This kind of work was hell, thank heavens I was done. Damn.
As I finished, I heard the front door creak open. She was here.
The beautiful one was here and I had just finished cleaning up.
She was here and I was yet to change, but maybe staying like this wasn't so bad, after all, she could see my efforts.
Maybe then she would stop looking at me with angry eyes. Well, I have to admit I was always turned on when she was angry, but even the little man knew not to be excited when there was a chance we wouldn't even make it through the day.
She was here already and I was anxious. Maybe she could finally talk to me.
Just maybe.
The smell of bacon had me almost waltzing into the kitchen. Literally. If you were me, you probably would've done the same.
As I neared the kitchen, I heard Lia and Ryan making a conversation and laughing. That knucklehead knew how to make Lia laugh but could not be of help to me when I was desperate, but at least she was laughing.
I know it's wrong to eavesdrop but I could not help it. So I listened to her talk of her day and how happy she was.
"so lee, how was your day?"
"twas good grandpa." she laughed and I struggled to hold a laugh at that.
Ryan hated it when Lia called him grandpa but if it would cheer her up, he would not object and I was thankful for him. I watched them bicker on and off and chase each other around the kitchen then to the living room.
Ha, this meant the bacon was still untouched and that I could sneak in and steal some. Heaven knows Ryan would never let me eat his bacon despite calling them weird. And they were sweet, really sweet.
I was still anxious but also excited as I mischievously devoured the bacon. Damn, yuummmy. I was onto the last piece when I heard Ryan shout at me.
"you sick son of a hoot, no sorry aunty. You stupid one-legged bacon stealer I'm going to feed you to the crocodiles in the Mississippi and send the crocodile to a faraway land nobody will find your remains!!!!"
Oh god, that same lame attempt at insulting me again. I doubt there were even crocodiles in that river. I found myself laughing so hard that I had to drink some water. It was impossible not to really. But first I had to think of a way to get out of here, alive.
"forgive me today lee but I'mma kill your old ugly and big-headed boyfriend. And can I just sell his witty self already?!!."
Okay so now I was in trouble. And I could not use Lia as my shield. So I ran or better yet attempted to before tripping and falling so hard on my butt it hurt.
"don't worry grandpa, you could put him up for sale on eBay." she laughed. Seriously this woman will be the death of me if only I knew.
"oh god, my butt hurt!" I cried as I tried getting up.
"serves you right for stealing my bacon."
"Why do I even keep stealing your food?" I mumbled as a sad memory crossed my mind.
The last time I attempted such, I ended up knocking my foot on the staircase and head on the wall before bouncing back to the floor. My life as a thief in this house was getting harder every day but I was not about to give up stealing Ryan's food.
The guy could be the best chef if he wanted to. Instead, he enjoyed kicking my ass for stealing. I was brought back to reality when I heard cameras clicking.
Great, just fvcking great. This shameless duo just had to capture my not so pleasant memories.
I huffed angrily and stormed to the shower, after stealing the last piece and of course smiling to myself. Hey, that's the payment for my hurting butt.
Despite having so much fun, one thing was sure though.
I had to face my woman, beg for her forgiveness till she forgave me, but until then, I would keep trying to pacify her with everything I had, every bit of me. I thought to myself as the cold water ran down my back the many ways I could.