It was just a matter of time before my past and present caught up to us and I just wanted everything to be okay before that as it would be very hard focusing on my problems with her mad at me. I lived a life that could end at any moment. it was like my next breath was determined by an unknown force, but such was the life people like me lived. it was ruthless, insane, cold, the kind of life that beautiful souls like my beautiful woman had no business knowing. I don't really now what it was that scared the hell out of me.
The probability that my woman would come to know that I lived a double life, or the fact that she would be dragged into a battle she had no way out of. I was scared that she would hate me if she really knew who I was and I could not have that happen, not at this point in time when all I wanted to breathe was her. When all I wanted to try out over and again was her.
I needed her.
She was everything to me and without her, it was more than clear that my life could take a horrible new turn, one I was never ready for. It never really mattered but what I hated was the ghosts from my past coming to haunt my present. I knew there would come such a day, but until then, I was willing to play Nintendo with all of them.
I knew that someday I may be forced to make a choice between leaving her and saving her, heaven knows I would always choose saving her. I would save her each and every time I f I had to. I had gotten used to being her white knight and I was not going to stop being that for her. If I had to ear the white hat for everything to be in order, for her to be safe, if I had to even be the villain in her story for her to be safe, then I would, without a second thought.
And I would spend the rest of my life asking for her forgiveness. I was sure that choice was better than completely losing her. She was my lifeline. She is my lifeline. She is me just as I her, I hope she would understand when the time came for me to leave her. When the circumstances had me optionless, I really hoped she would understand, but today I was not leaving, and I was sure tomorrow I was still not leaving.
However, the future would always remain unknown to everyone. Maybe if I had to leave her, I wanted it to be on good terms but for now Ryan and I had to pretend to have a normal life. We did not want her involved in whatever was going on with the both of us. That was the best thing for everyone. I had a diamond that I would keep safe at all time.
I would do that, always.
Just her, only for her, my woman.
I knew and know I am not worth her tears, I just wanted her back in my arms. Even if it meant doing everything she asked of me including doing her stupid routines with her. I had to think of something and think fast. Anything for her. Memories of how we met flooded my mind as I thought of everything in the past six months of my life.
Six months ago my company, Garner Stats was on the verge of being bankrupt and in just a few months, I would have to close the company and send my thousands of employees home. It was not a choice I would ever make willingly and maybe I would never have to make such a choice, ever. I never wanted to do that, not even in y wildest dreams, but then that time, for the first time in so long, I had lost hope.
I had given up and for a moment there I never cared what would happen to my people, to my family, to everyone who so much as cared about me. I was in my world, a world that I would always regret going to. I had dragged a lot of people down that time and I would always regret that. If it had not been for Ryan, I would never have gotten back up.
Ryan, being my second in command, had brought me the quarterly reports and they were not pleasant at all. Nothing was good. The graphs were all going down and most of the investors had started thinking of other firms to invest in. The family business was going down and if I did not act fast, I would have a thirty storey building with several departments empty.
It would just be another building in the city and I would have been the reason for the fail. That would have been my fault. I would have been the downfall of my company, an organization I had worked so hard to maintain after papa ad left in our care. I would have disappointed him and that would have broken him more than it could have me. I had neglected my work over the last few months and despite Ryan's persuasion, I ignored them.
Nothing made sense to me and I was okay that way. I was drowning in depression, I was drowning in my obsession of a woman who never cared enough to give me her attention. I was drowning in a whole that had long been dug, one that was always there and waiting for me and I was just too dense to notice.
So, in love that I ignored all the red alerts.
So happy that I was ready to go over the cliff with someone who never gave a damn about what would happen to me and mine, a fate that would haunt me, forever. It is sad what a broken heart can do to a person's brain and how it affects everyone around the person. I had fallen so deeply in love with Reyna, the she-devil herself.
For the two years we had dated, I gave her everything including my sanity and ways of thinking. She had meant the world to me. I treated her like the princess she had wished to be, spoiled her to the extent that mama began complaining. But I was already in too deep and there was no way out for me. Reyna claimed love, but being the man that never knew what love felt like, I accepted.
All I saw was her. In the shower, in my meetings she occupied my mind. She was etched into my subconscious, she was a part of me. Reyna was not just any girl, she was my obsession. I lived for her, just as I would have died for her. I was always at her beck and call and even became like a puppet to her. I was a puppet in love, and I was not complaining.
I gave her family the good life and even helped her with her work. I used my connections to make her happy. And happy she was, just not with me. I spoiled her but she maxed out my credit cards playing dress up for the boss of her company. Her boss was one of the investors in my company, lucky me. I only came to realize this when she attended one of the meetings with her boss, and he introduced her as his fiancé.
To say I was shocked was an understatement. All I saw was red but I had to continue the meeting pretending nothing was wrong. I had to text Lexi, my twin, so she would take over the meeting. She reluctantly chipped in but not before telling me I had lots of explaining to do. If only she knew what was going through my mind, she would have understood.
After that incident, I grew lazy and despite Lexi and Ryan's efforts I still lost interest in everything. Lexi would warn me each morning, make me wake up but as soon as she left, I would go drink my life away. She grew tired of pestering me and of taking over the company while I was away. It was only when she threatened to sell all her shares to Reyna's company that I made efforts to get better after four months of wasting away.
I knew she was serious because Lexi never had interests in the company, all she ever wanted to do was live her life. I went to rehab, actually, she dragged me into rehab and after three months I was well. I was back to normal but my company was on its way down and it would soon be wiped off the face of the earth, just another company in the history books.
I was on a mission to get my company up and all the other options I had sought did not work. There was one last option, the only option that would make my company come back to life. Seeking help from Jay. Jay was the guy who had solutions to critical problems. Nobody ever really saw him except for his closest circle, but that did not matter. I really needed his help.
Ryan and I went to some of his guys for help and we got what we needed. He gave us a seventy-five-million-dollar loan. The company later on came back to life despite the hefty price that my bestfriend and I had to pay. Days after recovering the company, we went out for drinks along with Lexi and her lustfully hot girlfriend, Mia.
As the drinks kept coming, I excused myself to the washrooms. I was almost useless but it was a night of celebration, besides we had the drivers waiting for us for when we decided to head home.
Then I saw her, the most tempting woman of the night, but she was not alone.